Authors: R. S. Burnett
Tags: #Romance, #erotic, #new adult, #college
Do you have
any plans for the rest of the weekend?” he asks not answering my
birthday tomorrow, not sure what I’m doing for it” I answer
honestly, I never celebrate my birthday.
I’m sure I
could think of something to give you” he grins at me taking a step
closer so we are almost touching.
Is that so?”
I mummer tilting my head up to look at him, even with my heels he’s
still a good four inches taller than me.
Mmm hmmm” he
whispers leaning down.
jump away from each other at the interruption and I turn to glare
Yes?” I ask
with a bored expression.
She frowns at
me “What happened to your lip?”
“Seems as though you’re not the only one who thinks I’m a whore” I
tell her and walk out the room ignoring the questioning look Harry
sends me but knowing that he will still be calling me tomorrow.
“Brooke” she calls after me but I ignore it and head out to find
I find him talking to Matt and Tucker on the balcony, I spin around
when I see them and start heading somewhere else but Luke calls me
he asks throwing an arm around me.
I was” I
grumble and look towards the room I just left where I can see
Sophie and Harry now in conversation. The fresh air seems to
amplify the alcohol levels in me and I sway slightly.
Missed you in
class, where did you go?” Tucker asks me but I feel my phone
vibrate in my pocket.
try to kiss you and you disappear on me? Told you that you weren’t
I laugh at
the text I know is from Harry. I look up at Tucker and Matt for the
first time since joining them. I roll my eyes as I watch them both
frown at the same time as they notice my lip but before they can
comment Sophie joins us with Harry following her.
I need a
drink” I tell Luke moving out from under his arm but stumbling
Are you sure
that’s a good idea?” Matt asks watching me.
according to your girlfriend I don’t need to drink to do anything
stupid. I manage jus
when I’m sober, so why not?” I smile sweetly at him and walk away
before Sophie reaches us pulling Harry along with me.
I take it you
two have fallen out” He notes turning to look at my friends as I
pull him back into the apartment.
You would be
right” I agree.
I pull him
into the bedroom with me and laugh at his surprised expression when
I close the door behind us.
I’m not going to attack you, just wait here two minutes” I call
over my shoulder as I head into the bathroom, I lock the door just
in case, I might be drunk but I’m not stupid and wouldn’t leave
myself in a lockable room with a guy I just met. Once I have
finished in the bathroom I go back into the bedroom but Harry is
not where I left him, instead Tucker is stood by the bed with his
arms folded across his chest looking a little angry.
Not you too”
I complain a little shocked that Tucker would think so little of me
Not me too
what?” he asks frowning at me still not looking happy.
matter” I shake my head at him defeated “What happened to Harry?” I
sigh looking around the room just in case I missed him.
on with you and Sophie?” he asks ignoring my question.
I’m a whore, don’t ignore my question”
back out there, I told him I needed to speak to you” he sits on the
bed and pats the space beside him I ignore the invitation and put
my hands on my hips waiting for him to get what ever he needs to
say to me over with
Brooke” he sighs deeply
I think I’d
rather stand for this one, don’t worry I’m sure I can handle it I’m
on a roll today so just get on with it”
with your lip, who hit you, don’t even try and say you slipped or
This” I say
pointing to my lip “Is the reason Sophie and everyone else thinks
I’m a whore”
understand … did Sophie hit you?” he asks looking confused and
No” I say
quickly shocked that he would think that.
Then I really
I sigh and
sit down next to him on the bed “I have nightmares every night only
they stop when I spend the night with you, I didn’t notice until it
happened more than once. Sophie noticed it when you joked earlier
that we lost sleep because you wasn’t there. She thinks that I’m
relying on you and that you’re going to let me down and leave me
broken, I told her that isn’t the problem and that I’m already
broken or I wouldn’t have them in the beginning. Then she said that
everyone thinks that I’m a whore because I spend most nights with
you but talk to other guys at parties and things. Everyone assumes
I’m sleeping with you regularly but having one night stands as
well. I asked if she thought that as well and she just
haven’t answered my question but first of all I’m sure Sophie
didn’t mean what she said”
I know, but
it’s just out of all the things to call me that one really cuts
I keep the
nightmares away?” he frowns at me as he asks this one.
Don’t ask me
to explain it because I can’t” I shrug at him “It’s hard for me to
trust anyone especially men, the only thing I can think is that I
don’t have nightmares around you because if I did I would have to
explain stuff to you and it’s my bodies way of keeping the secret
maybe?” I ponder aloud knowing that it doesn’t matter because I’m
going to have to explain it all to him now.
So what are
the nightmares about?” he lifts his hands towards me but I flinch
back before I can stop myself. He mutters a curse and stands “You
can come in here with someone you don’t even
, but I go to touch you
and you act as if I’m going to hurt you Brooke!” he shouts at
Do you think
it’s easy for me to have to watch the pain I see flicker in your
eyes every time I flinch away from you? Because it isn’t. Every
time I see that a small part of me dies, knowing that every time it
happens around you, he has won” I call back just as
Who has won?”
he’s impatient now.
It’s not fair
to ask me to remember them” I whisper as he sits back on the bed by
it’s not fair for me to know someone has hit you and I don’t even
know who it is or what to do about it” he tells me
gladly take a beating everyday for the rest of my life and not cry,
cower away from it or attempt to fight back. Simply because if it’s
happening to me and he’s doing it to me, he isn’t doing it to
someone else. I can handle it and live through the pain; another
girl might not be able to. I can’t stop what’s happening and save
my life but I can save someone else’s. So please I am begging you
Tucker don’t try to change the way it was supposed to be” I beg him
A man does
this to you?” he asks menacingly quiet.
going on for eight years tomorrow” I shrug trying not to remember
my thirteenth birthday. “It’s too late to change anything now” I
sigh now the memories are pushed back.
else know about this?”
and Luke are the only ones and now you”
They know and
they haven’t done anything?”
I told you,
there’s nothing that can be done”
don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to Sophie she loves you”
he says softly.
I lay back on
the bed and close my eyes “The saddest thing is there are a so many
people in my life that claim to love me but how can any of them
mean it when none of them completely know me?” I ask
, realising how alone I
truly am in this world. I feel the bed dip when Tucker lies down
next to me and wraps his arms around me.
with you every night if it means that you don’t have to live
through whatever keeps you awake at night” he tells me and kisses
I’m glad I
met you” I curl myself deeper into him.
We both jump
up off the bed when the door bursts open.
didn’t mean to interrupt” Beth smirks at us before she closes the
you won’t tell anyone anything that I’ve told you tonight” I ask
and search his eyes.
I promise” he
smiles at me and I can see the determination in his eyes but see no
sign of a lie.
I suppose I
better go talk to Sophie” I sigh standing up and straightening my
top and jacket.
Yeah, do you
want me to stay with you tonight?” he asks getting up from the bed
No, I think
Sophie and I need a night to sort things out, thanks though” I
smile at him as I leave the room to find Sophie. After trying to
hunt her down I find out she’s already left so I head back to our
room hoping she’s there.
omeone joining me in
my bed wakes me up.
Tuck?” I ask
No it’s me, I
just got in. Sorry for what I said earlier Brooke. I was tired and
, I shouldn’t have
said what I did it was wrong of me. Of course Tucker can still stay
in our room if it helps you”
It’s okay, he
knows now, I told him everything earlier”
okay but promise you won’t go back there” she asks quietly settling
down next to me bed.
I promise. He
wasn’t there today, just my mom” I whisper as the sleep takes me
I had sex
with your boyfriend last night” I look up to see Beth staring at me
with a smug smile on her face.
boyfriend?” I ask truly confused.
says turning to look at him I follow her eyes and see he is
watching us both.
He’s not my
boyfriend” I say for what feels like the millionth time this
everyone knows you are in love with him, he’s not in love with you
though because he slept with me
, so that shows you how much he cares”
He can sleep
with who ever he wants, we
just friends, I wish people would start realising that that’s all
we are, I’m getting bored with all the accusations now”
seen the way you look at him” she says smugly
. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
What do you
want Beth?” I ask bored now
To let you
know that no matter who you love or what ever it is you call it, I
will always be there, and they will always choose to have sex with
me over you”
everyone knows how easy it is to get you in to bed”
I can’t help
it if men like me, just like I couldn’t help it when Jason liked me
when you were with him” she says smugly again
its just because you are a guarantee lay, the only problem is, they
do it because they know that you will definitely put out where as
it you do it because you are so insecure that you need a cock
inside you to feel something because without that you are
expecting the slap, I don’t think I even realised it happened until
I could taste the blood in my mouth as the cut on my lip is ripped
back open from the force.
Did you feel
anything then?” I ask her, I know I’m just encouraging her, but
this girl really gets on my nerves.
You know, it
doesn’t matter what you think of me, but who’s the insecure one who
walked around for months hiding her body and not talking to anyone,
it wasn’t me that was you. The reason no one really wants you like
they want me is because you’re so fucked up, do you honestly think
that I haven’t seen the way you have flinched away from people when
they come too close or when they touch you in a certain place, in a
certain way? What’s the matter, bad childhood?” I narrow my eyes at
her, getting a queasy feeling in my stomach not sure I can handle
what she’s going to say next.
You know last
night, Tucker spoke about you, I have to admit you made an
interesting topic for pillow talk” I’m knocked aside and notice
Tucker has joined us looking nervous.
asks looking between us both. I ignore him and stare at Beth
waiting for her to continue, she learns over and whispers six words
in my ear that knock the breath out of me.