Wanna Bet? (11 page)

“
Step daddy
never loved you either”

I’m not a
violent person, after everything that has done to me I have learned
that fighting back isn’t the answer. However after hearing my
secret whispered back to me by the one person who will use it taunt
me this goes out the window.
I pull my arm back to slap/punch her but its grabbed and
before I know what’s happening I’m being swirled around the dance
floor. Once we have stopped, my arms are pulled up and around a
neck, looking up I relax when I see I’m dancing with
Todd.

“
She’s not
worth it” he assures me as his hands settle on my hips and we
automatically move to the beat surrounding us.

“
I know,
normally I can just let it go but she really gets on my nerves
sometimes”

“
What did she
say to make you want to hit her?”

“
Nothing
that’s important” I shrug it off

“
Happy
Birthday by the way”

We settle
into the dance and are silent for the longest time and
unconsciously adapt our dancing to the songs, one of my favourite
songs off all time comes on and I smile widely until I can see him
looking around and back at me nervously, following his gaze I can
see that quite a few people are watching us.

“
You do
realise that by tomorrow morning your name will be added to the
list of people I’ve supposedly had sex with right?” I ask him not
sure how he will like being part of my ongoing rumour.

“
Meh ... I’ve
had worse things said about me” he smiles down at me.

“
Well it
wouldn’t have been long until you were added to it regardless, I
wonder what they will do when they run out of names to add on it” I
ponder aloud.

“
Can’t be
easy, having everyone say these things about you” he notes
sympathetically.

“
Want to have
some fun with it?” I ask feeling the earlier fight not forgotten
but wanting to take my mind off it.

“
What did you
have in mind?” he asks smiling back at me.

“
Just work
with me and I’m probably going to kiss you, you should know which I
haven’t done to any of the other people on my list by the way so
our rumours might be extra special” he just laughs and shakes his
head at me as I press myself up closer to him, he picks it up
straight away and starts moving his hips against mine, I block out
everyone around us and don’t take my eyes from him as we continue
dancing seductively, I move my hands up and thread my fingers
through his hair, playing with the ends of it that rest on the back
of his neck, he lowers his head down to mine the same time he moves
his hands around until they meet at the bottom of my back at the
same time our lips meet. Secretly I’m impressed by the perfect
timing of this move making me smile when we pull apart. I look over
his shoulder and see Tucker coming towards us frowning, when he
catches my eye I shake my head at him with a glare he just stands
there for a few minutes watching me.

I tear my
eyes away from his and look up at Todd, noting my expression, he
smiles sympathetically at me.

“
Want to go?
We can share a taxi” I nod and he pulls me through the crowd
towards the door, as I’m about to get into one of the waiting
taxi’s I hear my name being called, I turn to see Tucker stood at
the door to the bar. “Wait!” he shouts making his way over to
us.

“
Don’t” Is all
I reply shaking my head at him and get into the taxi.

I manage to
hold it together for the journey home, Todd seems to understand
that I don’t want to talk about it and tries to distract me by
telling me stories of a few walks of shame he has done in the past,
it half woks and he manages to get a few giggles out of
me.

As I walk
through the door to my dorm I feel the first tear fall down my
cheek I wipe it away as soon as I see Sophie and Matt sitting at
the table drinking coffee. I make my way towards the coffee machine
their conversation stops. “Your cousins an ass” I say to the coffee
machine knowing that they will know straight away who I’m talking
about. They don’t say anything until I join them at the
table.

“
What happened
to your lip?” Sophie asks making me remember the slap and the split
lip I had forgotten about until now I lift my fingers to my lip
it’s not sore, but then again I’ve had worse.

“
Beth” Is all
I say and watch as Matt visibly winces. I cock my head at him
vaguely wondering if he knows what he told her.

“
I don’t
understand, what’s she got to do with anything?” Sophie asks
looking between me and Matt “She’s always been a bitch; she’s never
hit you before though”

“
Tucker” Matt
simply says, as if that explains everything.

“
I still don’t
get it”

“
Tucker slept
with her last night, she came up and told me about it, made some
comment about sleeping with Jason when I was with him and I told
her she has to have a cock inside to her feel something otherwise
she’s empty”

“
Ouch” Sophie
grimaces.

“
Yeah ... she
slapped me for that one”

“
Still doesn’t
explain why Tuckers an ass though…” she questions.

“
Well after
she slapped me I didn’t back down and then she got smug and …” I
trail off remembering the look on her face as she told me what he
had revealed to her.

“
And …” Sophie
prompts looking to Matt who just shrugs and turns to me
expectantly.

“
He told her”
I whisper. Sophie reaches out and clasps my hand with her own
encouraging me to carry on. “He told her about my step dad, the
abuse, me flinching when someone comes too close when I’m on my own
with them”

“
She must have
been lying … he wouldn’t do that” Sophie pleads, to who I don’t
know.

“
Well who then
because it’s only you two, him and Luke that knows any of that shit
and he was stood right by us, watching, listening to her tell me” I
snap at her.

“
I’m so sorry
Brooke, I knew he slept with her, she was leaving the dorm this
morning when I went over to see him. I had no idea what he told her
though”

“
It’s fine,
it’s my own fault, guess I just have to be more careful with who I
trust that’s all. I thought it would have taken longer than a few
hours for him to tell someone though.”

“
What happened
after she said all that to you?” Sophie asks warily.

“
I very nearly
punched her, not sure why, I probably should have punched him but
Todd pulled me away from them both. Tucker tried to stop me leaving
with him but I don’t want to talk to him ever again”

“
Why would he
try and stop you leaving with Todd?” Sophie asks
confused.

“
I kissed him”
I say quietly hoping they won’t make a big deal out of
it.

“
What?” okay
so obviously she is going to make a big deal out of it.

“
We kissed, he
pulled me away from them when I was about to hit her and started
dancing with me to distract me and then everyone was staring and we
were talking about how by tomorrow it would be going around that we
had sex, so we decided to have a little fun with it and give them
something to talk about, it’s no big deal we are just friends
anyway, not long after the kiss Tucker was storming over to us but
he must of guessed from the look I sent him because not to come any
closer because he just stood there watching me, Todd picked up on
it and we shared a taxi home” I shrug and grab my phone that is
vibrating again, I look at the screen to see a bundle of missed
calls and texts. All the missed calls are from Tucker and a few of
the texts too.

Tucker:
Please pick up your phone

Tucker: Just
hear me out

Todd: If you
need to talk, I’m here

Tucker: I’m
sorry x

“
He text you?”
Sophie guesses but it comes out like a question,

“
Yeah, he says
he’s sorry and wants to talk to me”

“
Are you going
to talk to him?” Matt asks the only reply he gets is a raised
eyebrow from me and an ‘are you stupid’ look from Sophie. My phone
beeps again.

Beth: Step
daddy doesn’t love you either.

I surprise
myself with the noise that tears through my mouth it’s a cross
between a growl and a scream. Without thinking about it throw my
phone at the wall. Sophie and Matt stare at me open
mouthed.

“
Him?” Sophie
asks quietly

“
Beth” I grit
out getting up and grabbing my jacket a force of determination
taking over me.

“
What are you
doing?” she asks looking nervously from me to Matt.

“
Something I
should have done a hell of a long time ago”

“
Brooke, no
stay here”

“
No”

“
Let me come
with you” she pleads.

“
No, you can’t
fix me Sophie so stop fucking trying” I snap as I run out of the
dorm towards my car. I know I probably shouldn’t be driving right
now after the few drinks I had earlier but I’m pretty sure all the
drama and betrayal has sobered me up completely. Gritting my teeth
and not even bothering to look back I head out to the one place I
swore I would never visit alone again.

I don’t even
bother to turn the engine off as I jump out of the car and head up
to the door banging my fist on it so hard I tear the skin on my
knuckles.

“
Open up, I’m
here” I shout at the door as I continue constantly banging it with
my fists. I’m just about to add a kick when it flies open and
reveals my mom stood in her dressing gown looking not happy at all,
well that’s good because I’m quite pissed off myself I think as I
barge past her into the house and stop just before the stairs, my
step dad is running down them dragging a top over his head I start
clapping my hands loudly.

“
Well if it
isn’t the man of the hour, look I’ve got a split lip and it’s not
even from you!” I point to the cut on my lip in-between
claps.

“
What the hell
is going on Brooke?” Phin asks from the top of the
stairs.

“
Go back to
bed” Sam says tightly to him not taking his eyes from
me.

From the
corner of my eye I can see my mom making her way towards me, I turn
my head just as she makes a grab for my ponytail, without thinking
about it and way past caring I lift my arm and elbow her in the
face making her stumble back.

“
You bitch”
she screeches.

I watch dazed
as Sam makes his way towards me with a slight smile tugging at his
lips. “Oh this is going to be interesting” he says softly with a
humourless laugh.

I don’t
really know what happens next and I can’t explain it, it’s as if a
force has taken over me, he lunges towards me but I move out of the
way making him bump into my mom, they stumble and land on the
floor. I laugh and grabbing the first thing that is within reach
and heavy looking I swing it and make contact with his side making
him grunt. I can feel the tears running down my face as I keep
swinging the floor lamp, I’m vaguely aware of the bulb smashing and
the lampshade crushing I’m aware of the fact that my mom is no
longer on the floor next to him but cowering by the
sofa.

“
Brooke?”
Phin’s worried voice breaks me out of my spell and I drop the lamp,
looking down at Sam who is led on the floor in the foetal position
covered in glass and speckles of blood on his t-shirt from where I
smashed the glass into his side I shudder as a wave of sickness
comes over me and run back out to my car.

Not realising
where I’m headed just trying to concentrate on the road through my
tears I pull up at the graveyard gate. I crawl out of the car and
stumble over to my dad’s grave. As soon as I’m front of it I
collapse and years of abuse, neglect and bullying overtake me,
memories flash through my mind in a sort of twisted slide show,
every slap, every kick, every punch and every smile Sam ever sent
my way, it switches to Sophie and Matt, but I’m not in this one, I
watch amazed as all their moments of affection flash before my
eyes, every hug, touch and kiss, I curl over and watch as it
switches again to me and Tucker, all the laughs, all the smiles,
every joke,, the nights on the sofa, the classes with the notes we
send back and forth, the weekend away, him holding my hand in the
car, him throwing me on his shoulders at the concert then finally
him and Beth together, him whispering all my secrets in her ear and
her slapping me at the bar and whispering my own secret nightmare
back to me. I cry out a strangled scream and let the tears, pain
and heartache overtake me.

I’m woken by
droplets hitting my face,

I slowly pull
my eyes open and the sun is coming up, I’ve slept in a graveyard
all night. I feel completely empty and drained both physically and
emotionally.

Warily, not
sure I have the strength I struggle to my legs, actually surprised
that they work; apart from being a little stiff I seem to be
fine.