Why We Left Islam (8 page)

She gave in. Her tears and desperation made me ecstatic. Over the next few weeks, she accompanied us to the association where she was brainwashed by the
sheikhs
. She could not argue with anything they said. She was miserable and never stopped crying.

We taught her what to say before it was time for her to go to the police department. She followed our instructions when she was interviewed by the police. And when a police officer asked her why she wanted to convert to Islam, she said that the Prophet Mohammad came to her in a dream and greeted her with the Islamic greeting, calling her “Aisha.” Jesus was also in the dream, greeted her with the Islamic greeting, and denounced all Christians, saying there is no God but Allah. She said that Jesus told her that he is Allah’s slave and prophet and Mohammad is Allah’s Prophet. Then, she said, Jesus kissed Mohammad’s head and asked her to repeat after him Allah’s words from the Qur’an, “Those who believe in any other religion but Islam, Allah will not accept it from them in the end, and they will be losers” (
Qur’an 3:83-85
).

She not only said this in front of the police officers, but also to her family members and the priests who came to visit her. Her reactions during these visits, which were called counseling sessions, were staged by us and agreed on by the police before the meetings. It was all a fraud and though she was visited by different priests, she could only tell them what we had coached her to say.

After all the legal procedures were completed, we got her new identification and a new Islamic name: Aisha Abdalla Elmahdy. We had achieved our plan and the Muslim man, Yasser, a
mujahid
, got the girl he desired along with his financial reward, which was
quite hefty because she was from a prominent Christian family. I received twenty-five percent of his share, plus my share of the amount I paid to the collaborating persons involved.

Aisha’s family was dishonored and humiliated. As a result, her mother sold her pharmacy and her father sold his clinic. They moved to a place where they could disappear in the crowd and flee the scandal.

So Aisha married Yasser and lived as an outcast, because she was despised by her in-laws. She was married for two months when Yasser said he had had enough of her and did not want to keep her anymore. He divorced her and threw her out into the street.

Since she was our sister in Islam and cannot be homeless, I took her to the association, where she lived and worked as a maid, cleaning the clinic for her food and board. She stayed there for three months until she was legally allowed to remarry. The groom-to-be was a Muslim who knew her story. He was a coolie and was already married with six children. During the day, he labored in the maintenance workshops of the governorate administration. Aisha did not want to marry him and begged us not to allow her to go through with it. We ignored her, and she was forced to marry a man she did not like.

She lived in misery. She worked as a maid to clean homes and sold vegetables in order to feed her husband and his children. It was impossible to imagine that she was once a college student from a wealthy family of physicians. Her life was ruined. Her second husband divorced her after five months. Since she had been married twice she did not remarry and because many had found out about the videotapes and photos taken of her when she was drugged, she was considered unclean. She became homeless and had to spend the night in emergency camps where she lived in sub-human conditions. As she hit bottom she cried: “God have mercy on me.”

God showed mercy and answered her prayer.

During the time she was homeless, I became a Christian and was looking for the girls I tricked into converting to Islam. I found out what had become of her and went to visit her with my wife, who had returned to the Church. My wife and I offered to
take care of her in our home. We sought to inform her parents about her situation, so I sent a relative of my wife together with a priest, who talked to them. They all cried at the news and expressed their desire to see her. The family reunion was arranged in one of the churches in Cairo. It was an impressive reunion. Though I expected the parents to chastise her, they didn’t and were happy to see her.

As her family hugged and kissed her, I was so touched by the love I saw that I wondered why we were hurting Christians the way we did. I had always despised the smiles they had on their faces when we criticized, hurt, or humiliated them. I used to tell myself that they were smiles of malice because they were a minority and could not stand up to us Muslims. Now I know the reason for their smiles. It is their love, forgiveness, and tolerance toward their enemies. It is the Christian characteristic of making peace.

After Abir met her family, she went back home with them. They welcomed her with love and kindness as the scripture says in the story about the prodigal son. Her mother bought her beautiful clothes and her father bought her jewelry. They celebrated her coming home and repeated the words of the Bible (“Our daughter was dead and now is alive and was lost and is now found”).

A request was submitted to the Clerical Council to endorse her return to Christianity, which was approved. A Christian lawyer volunteered to petition the court to give her back her Christian name and identity card. The court ruled in her favor. She now lives in France, where she serves in the Coptic Church with her husband and daughter.

C
HAPTER
F
OUR
THE REAL FACE OF ISLAM

“On September 11, 2001, I saw the real face of Islam. I saw the happiness on the faces of our people because so many infidels were slaughtered so easily. . . I saw many people who started thanking Allah for this massacre.”

O
N SEPTEMBER 11,” Khaled says, “I saw the real face of Islam.” On September 11, fifteen of the nineteen hijackers who attacked the United States were Saudi Arabian citizens. Additionally, Osama bin Laden—the chief suspect in the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks that killed more than three thousand people—was also Saudi-born, though stripped of his citizenship in 1994 by the government. So what about Saudi Arabia enables some of its citizens to feel compelled to embark on suicide missions on the other side of the world? Khaled Waleed believes what he was taught in his mosque in Saudi Arabia is exactly the same teaching that bin Laden received and that is why so many young Muslims in Saudi Arabia support him. Khalid believes that September 11 demonstrated the real face of Islam as taught in the Kingdom. His testimony invites us into a clearer understanding of those teachings and the mindset of the September 11 masterminds. Khalid experienced firsthand the teachings of Islam. He does not believe a few terrorists are distorting the real meaning. He believes terrorists’ actions are consistent with Islam. That’s why he left. That’s why he warns us to stand up to Islam. That’s why he fears for the future of the West.

Khalid’s Testimony

When I was a child, I used to go to the mosque every day. I used to go there for praying, reciting the Qur’an, reading
ahadith
, and studying
tafseer
.

Our teacher and other Islamic scholars told us that as Muslims, we are the best people in the world. We were also told that Saudi Arabian Muslims are the only true Muslims in the world, and as such, the world must follow us (the Saudi Muslims). Without any question, we steadfastly believed our Islamic scholars and wondered why, despite such exhortations, the world by and large does not emulate us.

We were so proud of being the true Muslims.

Now, I take this to be a lie.

Readers, I would vouch that what I studied in my mosque is exactly what bin Laden studied. You could unmistakably say he is an ideal Muslim. Believe me, almost all our people (in Saudi Arabia) support him and love him very dearly.

We can’t blame bin Laden for this; instead, we should blame Islam, the religion of bin Laden. He is simply following his religion to the letter. He is, without doubt, a true Muslim.

My story of leaving Islam started when I was in grade five. I read in
Surah al-kahf, ayat 86 (18:86)
that when Zu-Alqarnain had reached the point of the setting of the sun, he found many people there suffering from the intense heat. This was because they were so close to the sun. The same thing happened to him during the rising of the sun.

I started thinking:
The earth is not flat; it is almost like a ball, so how could he reach the edge of the earth?
I asked my teacher this question. He was confused with my question. He didn’t give any answer. He told me just to believe what the Qur’an says.

This was the beginning of my suspicion about the truth in the Qur’an.

Then I had a huge surprise when I found that if I wanted to be a good Muslim I must keep away from non-Muslims. A greater surprise for me was when I discovered that loving any non-Muslims would make me a
kafir
(nonbeliever).

Along with many other activities, I liked going to movies, listening to music, and making friends with athletes and singers—most of whom are non-Muslims. That meant I actually had become a
kafir
. I was taught that, to be in Paradise, I must unconditionally
love the Prophet Mohammad, whom I had never seen, more than anyone else, or I will surely go to hell. I became so perplexed.

I listened to my
imams
and was disturbed when they used abusive language to describe the non-Muslims as the grandsons of monkeys and pigs. I thought if anyone commits a sin, this should not be our problem; Allah, in due course, will punish him/her. Why do our
imams
have to condemn these people in such a derogatory manner?

To my surprise, many of my Muslim friends and our
imams
told me that it was my duty to revile and ridicule the non-Muslims, since they are the enemies of Muslims. When I refused to abide by the Islamic tenet of deriding the
kafirs
, they labeled me as a weak Muslim. They even informed me that a Muslim stranger is better than an old trusted
kafir
friend is.

However, I was adamant with my questions—I would not let them go unanswered. The most pertinent question on my mind was:
How could a “God,” who claims himself to be filled with mercy, at the same time ask his people to hate one another? Why does “God” have to threaten to burn and torture people who do not believe in him? Is he really that needy? Is it so important that we consistently worship him?

I started thinking very deeply. I searched the Qur’an and found that everyone’s destiny had already been decided by God. God had already determined who will be in hell and who will be in Paradise! Therefore, logically, there is no need for humans to pray. When I put this question to my devoutly religious friends, they became angry. They asked me how I could know in advance whether I should be in hell or in Paradise. I told them that since our destiny has already been ascertained by God, praying or not praying would not really make any difference.

They thought I was crazy since I had developed doubt about Allah and the Qur’an.

This was the start of my hating Islam. However, I was helpless. In the society in which I live I was not able to do anything openly which goes against Islam.

In 1999, my mother fell sick and eventually died. This was a turning point in my life. I thought:
We, the Muslims, are not really the best in the world. Just like any other human being, we too get ill and
die, after all
. I also came to the conclusion that if we worked hard we should be successful; if we did not, we are bound to fail. There is no such thing as “Allah’s will.” There is nothing so special for the Muslims.

When I look around the Islamic world, all I find is utter injustice, unabated discrimination against women and
kafirs,
and blatant abuse and violation of human rights, not to mention the absolute political corruption in Islamic countries. In fact, there is nothing good in our Islamic world to talk about. Most of the Islamic world is in deep trouble, whereas there is relative peace, prosperity, and freedom in most non-Islamic countries.

I asked myself, “What is the reason for this?” The only plausible answer to me was Islam.

Although my hatred of Islam increased, I was unable to leave it. I still could not bring myself to the reality that Islam could be that bad. I thought it might be that the problem was with the people and not the religion.

However, on September 11, 2001, I saw the real face of Islam. I saw the happiness on the faces of our people because so many infidels were slaughtered so easily. I was shocked at the gloating of our people for killing innocent
kafirs
. I saw many people who started thanking Allah for this massacre. Our Islamic people said that Allah gave us our wish, and that this was the beginning of the destruction of
kafir
countries.

To me, this was sheer inhumanity.

Then, the
imam
implored Allah to help the Taliban against the U.S. military. I was angry. It was then that I stopped praying.

In 2004, I met my Pakistani manager, who, I believe, was antiIslam. He made me feel like a human being again. He let me believe that I was, after all, not a crazy person. I stopped visiting the mosque, quit praying, and abandoned Ramadan fasting. Last Ramadan I did not observe a single fast.

Now I feel so happy and relieved. Without any guilt or fear, I now can watch movies and listen to music. I feel I am a human being and I am free to do whatever I like. I shall, from now on, tell the truth about this evil religion of Islam.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE
FROM BELIEF TO ENLIGHTENMENT

“Allah was ignorant to the core. The Qur’an is full of errors. . . Allah could not have existed anywhere else except in the mind of a sick man. . . . How disappointed I was when I realized all these years I had been praying to a fantasy.”