William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (37 page)
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Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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TRANIO
He is my father, sir, and sooth to say,
In count’nance somewhat doth resemble you.
In count’nance somewhat doth resemble you.
BIONDELLO (
aside
) As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one.
aside
) As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one.
TRANIO
To save your life in this extremity
This favour will I do you for his sake,
And think it not the worst of all your fortunes
That you are like to Sir Vincentio.
His name and credit shall you undertake,
And in my house you shall be friendly lodged.
Look that you take upon you as you should.
You understand me, sir? So shall you stay
Till you have done your business in the city.
If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.
This favour will I do you for his sake,
And think it not the worst of all your fortunes
That you are like to Sir Vincentio.
His name and credit shall you undertake,
And in my house you shall be friendly lodged.
Look that you take upon you as you should.
You understand me, sir? So shall you stay
Till you have done your business in the city.
If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.
PEDANT
O sir, I do, and will repute you ever
The patron of my life and liberty.
The patron of my life and liberty.
TRANIO
Then go with me to make the matter good.
This, by the way, I let you understand—
My father is here looked for every day
To pass assurance of a dower in marriage
’Twixt me and one Baptista’s daughter here.
In all these circumstances I’ll instruct you.
Go with me to clothe you as becomes you. Exeunt
4.3This, by the way, I let you understand—
My father is here looked for every day
To pass assurance of a dower in marriage
’Twixt me and one Baptista’s daughter here.
In all these circumstances I’ll instruct you.
Go with me to clothe you as becomes you. Exeunt
Enter Katherine and Grumio
GRUMIO
No, no, forsooth. I dare not, for my life.
KATHERINE
The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars that come unto my father’s door
Upon entreaty have a present alms,
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity.
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
With oaths kept waking and with brawling fed,
And that which spites me more than all these wants,
He does it under name of perfect love,
As who should say if I should sleep or eat
‘Twere deadly sickness, or else present death.
I prithee, go and get me some repast.
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars that come unto my father’s door
Upon entreaty have a present alms,
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity.
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
With oaths kept waking and with brawling fed,
And that which spites me more than all these wants,
He does it under name of perfect love,
As who should say if I should sleep or eat
‘Twere deadly sickness, or else present death.
I prithee, go and get me some repast.
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
GRUMIO What say you to a neat’s foot?
KATHERINE
‘Tis passing good. I prithee, let me have it.
GRUMIO
I fear it is too choleric a meat.
How say you to a fat tripe finely broiled?
How say you to a fat tripe finely broiled?
KATHERINE
I like it well. Good Grumio, fetch it me.
GRUMIO
I cannot tell, I fear ’tis choleric.
What say you to a piece of beef, and mustard?
What say you to a piece of beef, and mustard?
KATHERINE
A dish that I do love to feed upon.
GRUMIO
Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
KATHERINE
Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.
GRUMIO
Nay, then I will not. You shall have the mustard,
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
KATHERINE
Then both, or one, or anything thou wilt.
GRUMIO
Why then, the mustard without the beef.
KATHERINE
Go, get thee gone, thou false, deluding slave,
(Beating him) That feed’st me with the very name of
meat.
Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
That triumph thus upon my misery.
Go, get thee gone, I say.
(Beating him) That feed’st me with the very name of
meat.
Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
That triumph thus upon my misery.
Go, get thee gone, I say.
Enter Petruccio and Hortensio, with meat
PETRUCCIO
How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
HORTENSIO
Mistress, what cheer?
KATHERINE
Faith, as cold as can be.
PETRUCCIO
Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me.
Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am
To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee. 40
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What, not a word? Nay then, thou lov’st it not,
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.
Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am
To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee. 40
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What, not a word? Nay then, thou lov’st it not,
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.
KATHERINE I pray you, let it stand.
PETRUCCIO
The poorest service is repaid with thanks,
And so shall mine before you touch the meat.
And so shall mine before you touch the meat.
KATHERINE I thank you, sir.
HORTENSIO
Signor Petruccio, fie, you are to blame.
Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
PETRUCCIO (
aside
)
aside
)
Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lov’st me.
(To
Katherine)
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart.
Kate, eat apace; and now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father’s house,
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs, and cuffs, and farthingales, and things,
With scarves, and fans, and double change of
bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
(To
Katherine)
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart.
Kate, eat apace; and now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father’s house,
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs, and cuffs, and farthingales, and things,
With scarves, and fans, and double change of
bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
Enter Tailor with a gown
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments.
Lay forth the gown.
Lay forth the gown.
Enter Haberdasher with a cap
What news with you, sir?
HABERDASHER
Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
PETRUCCIO
Why, this was moulded on a porringer—
A velvet dish. Fie, fie, ‘tis lewd and filthy.
Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap.
Away with it! Come, let me have a bigger.
A velvet dish. Fie, fie, ‘tis lewd and filthy.
Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap.
Away with it! Come, let me have a bigger.
KATHERINE
I’ll have no bigger. This doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
PETRUCCIO
When you are gentle you shall have one, too,
And not till then.
And not till then.
HORTENSIO (
aside
) That will not be in haste.
aside
) That will not be in haste.
KATHERINE
Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak,
And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,
And rather than it shall I will be free
Even to the uttermost as I please in words.
And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,
And rather than it shall I will be free
Even to the uttermost as I please in words.
PETRUCCIO
Why, thou sayst true. It is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie.
I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie.
I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.
KATHERINE
Love me or love me not, I like the cap
And it I will have, or I will have none.
And it I will have, or I will have none.
[Exit Haberdasher]
PETRUCCIO
Thy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see’t.
O mercy, God, what masquing stuff is here?
What’s this—a sleeve? ‘Tis like a demi-cannon.
What, up and down carved like an apple-tart?
Here’s snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash,
Like to a scissor in a barber’s shop.
Why, what o’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?
O mercy, God, what masquing stuff is here?
What’s this—a sleeve? ‘Tis like a demi-cannon.
What, up and down carved like an apple-tart?
Here’s snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash,
Like to a scissor in a barber’s shop.
Why, what o’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?
HORTENSIO (
aside
)
aside
)
I see she’s like to have nor cap nor gown.
TAILOR
You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion and the time.
According to the fashion and the time.
PETRUCCIO
Marry, and did, but if you be remembered
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
I’ll none of it. Hence, make your best of it.
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
I’ll none of it. Hence, make your best of it.
KATHERINE
I never saw a better fashioned gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable.
Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable.
Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
PETRUCCIO
Why true, he means to make a puppet of thee.
TAILOR She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.
PETRUCCIO
O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou
thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket, thou.
Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread!
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,
Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st.
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marred her gown.
thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket, thou.
Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread!
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,
Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st.
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marred her gown.
TAILOR
Your worship is deceived. The gown is made
Just as my master had direction.
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
Just as my master had direction.
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
GRUMIO
I gave him no order, I gave him the stuff.
TAILOR
But how did you desire it should be made?
GRUMIO Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
TAILOR
But did you not request to have it cut?
GRUMIO Thou hast faced many things.
TAILOR I have.
GRUMIO Face not me. Thou hast braved many men. Brave not me. I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee I bid thy master cut out the gown, but I did not bid him cut it to pieces. Ergo thou liest.
TAILOR (
showing a paper
) Why, here is the note of the fashion, to testify.
showing a paper
) Why, here is the note of the fashion, to testify.
PETRUCCIO Read it.
GRUMIO The note lies in’s throat if he say I said so.
TAILOR (reads)
‘Imprimis,
a loose-bodied gown.’
‘Imprimis,
a loose-bodied gown.’
GRUMIO Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread. I said a gown.
PETRUCCIO Proceed.
TAILOR (reads) ‘With a small compassed cape.’
GRUMIO I confess the cape.
TAILOR (reads) ‘With a trunk sleeve.’
GRUMIO I confess two sleeves.
TAILOR (reads) ‘The sleeves curiously cut.’
PETRUCCIO Ay, there’s the villany.
GRUMIO Error i‘th’ bill, sir, error i’th’ bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and sewed up again, and that I’ll prove upon thee though thy little finger be armed in a thimble. 146
TAILOR This is true that I say. An I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.
GRUMIO I am for thee straight. Take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.
HORTENSIO Godamercy, Grumio, then he shall have no odds.
PETRUCCIO
Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
GRUMIO You are i‘th’ right, sir. ‘Tis for my mistress.
PETRUCCIO (
to the Tailor
)
to the Tailor
)
Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.
GRUMIO (
to the Tailor
) Villain, not for thy life. Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!
to the Tailor
) Villain, not for thy life. Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!
PETRUCCIO Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?
GRUMIO O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for. ‘Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use’—O fie, fie, fie!
PETRUCCIO
(aside)
(aside)
Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
(
To the Tailor
) Go, take it hence. Be gone, and say no
more.
(
To the Tailor
) Go, take it hence. Be gone, and say no
more.
HORTENSIO (
aside to the Tailor
)
aside to the Tailor
)
Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow.
Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
Away, I say. Commend me to thy master.
Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
Away, I say. Commend me to thy master.
Exit Tailor
PETRUCCIO
Well, come, my Kate. We will unto your father’s
Even in these honest, mean habiliments.
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor,
For ‘tis the mind that makes the body rich,
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
What, is the jay more precious than the lark
Because his feathers are more beautiful?
Or is the adder better than the eel
Because his painted skin contents the eye?
O no, good Kate, neither art thou the worse
For this poor furniture and mean array.
If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me,
And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith
To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.
Go call my men, and let us straight to him,
And bring our horses unto Long Lane end.
There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.
Let’s see, I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,
And well we may come there by dinner-time.
Even in these honest, mean habiliments.
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor,
For ‘tis the mind that makes the body rich,
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
What, is the jay more precious than the lark
Because his feathers are more beautiful?
Or is the adder better than the eel
Because his painted skin contents the eye?
O no, good Kate, neither art thou the worse
For this poor furniture and mean array.
If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me,
And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith
To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.
Go call my men, and let us straight to him,
And bring our horses unto Long Lane end.
There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.
Let’s see, I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,
And well we may come there by dinner-time.
KATHERINE
I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two,
And ’twill be supper-time ere you come there.
And ’twill be supper-time ere you come there.
PETRUCCIO
It shall be seven ere I go to horse.
Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
You are still crossing it. Sirs, let’t alone.
I will not go today, and ere I do
It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
You are still crossing it. Sirs, let’t alone.
I will not go today, and ere I do
It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
HORTENSIO (
aside
)
aside
)
Why, so this gallant will command the sun.
Exeunt
4.4Enter Tranio
as
Lucentio, and the Pedant dressed like Vincentio, booted and bare-headed
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