Wings of the Morning (34 page)

Aischa put down her coffee cup and moved to clink their liqueur glasses gently together. She said. ‘It’s next week on Friday. Her birthday is the thirtieth of June.’

He nodded, ‘She’s a delight to meet, I must say, and a picture to look at too, just like her mother of course! I can see how close you are, you two. Real friends, I’m sure, as
well as mother and daughter. Her birthday must be as important to you as it is to her.’

Aischa gave a wan smile and turned her head away to light her cigarette. It was something that he did for her when they were alone together and there was a suggestion of independence here which
made him feel excluded. David sat still and quiet, knowing that she would speak when she was ready. He took a sip of his cognac and was still replacing his glass on the table when Aischa sat
forward to reply.

‘Yes. June 30th is a very important date in my calendar, just as it is for Anna also. It’s the day on which she was born, and also the day on which her mother died.’

David stayed motionless while his mind raced, but it didn’t have far to go. Aischa’s eyes remained fixed on him whilst he settled his glass, took a cigarette for himself, lit and
drew deeply on it. Then he spoke one word, as a statement and not a question.

‘Ouye.’

Aischa looked at him as the tears welled in her eyes. She gave a long, slow nod.

‘Yes Ouye. My twin sister Ouye, who died almost eighteen years ago while giving birth to the baby girl who is now Anna: my special friend Anna, who is my daughter even though I’m not
her mother. She has grown to be so like Ouye that I sometimes feel she is my sister recreated.’

David picked up his glass again, swirling the brandy around as he phrased his next question.

‘Aischa, why didn’t you tell me this before? Do you remember we were in this very place, the first time we came here, I asked about Ouye and you told me she had died of some female
difficulty was your word I think?’

Aischa cheered herself and even smiled a little.

‘I believe I said ‘a feminine problem with much blood and pain’ and I knew that you, a man of men if ever I saw one, would not dare to ask more. And you haven’t. But
really, darling, I think I gave a fair description of childbirth.’

‘So you took on her baby.’

‘What else? I never gave it a second thought.’

‘And you were never challenged? Not by your father, or by Rafa? What about Anna’s father?’

‘My father and brother were content with the arrangement: they found it natural. They’d accepted Ouye’s pregnancy, they were both made miserable by her death. They wanted all
that could be done for the baby she left behind. But as for Anna’s father, well that’s different. He’s never known and never asked. But to answer your next question, David, yes I
do know his identity. I know him very well indeed. And I love him. So you should not buy Anna a birthday present. You have already given her life itself.’

David slumped back in his chair as the breath whistled out between his teeth. He had seen the blow of surprise coming at the very last second. But he knew that the revelation was true. No doubt
at all. He knew when, and the memories came so clearly to him. The droning fan, the barking dog, the opening door and the giggled whisper ‘you can’t tell us apart if we’re not
dressed at all’.

They sat for a long time in silence which was broken only as Mr Mori appeared unbidden to refill their brandy balloons and to place fresh coffee on the table between them. When he had left them,
David hunched forward to spoon some sugar into his cup and to ask,

‘Why didn’t you tell me Aischa?’

‘You didn’t ask me, did you, my darling. But you see before that, after Anna was born and Ouye taken from us, well I knew what and when, but what did I know of you? That night in
Mocamedes was just a bit of naughty fun and with a result that’s been happening down the centuries. I didn’t know anything about you, did I? I knew your name, but nothing else much. Not
really what you did, where you lived. And I certainly had no idea that I would ever see you again, still less that I would fall into a love for you that I simply can’t shake off. And
don’t forget, David, that Anna was almost three years old before you and I met again by sheer chance. And since then? Well, perhaps I should have said something, and if so, then years ago. I
held back because I made a life with Anna as my daughter which works. It works well. And while my time with you is so precious and vital, it’s still just that. It’s time, but it
isn’t a life. I think I was always scared that in telling you about Anna, I might also lose you for myself. Can you understand that?’

‘Yes I can,’ was his immediate response, ‘and to be boring and factual, I can see also that there was no real need. Not in the usual way which affects things like this. I mean,
there was no problem with money and so forth.’

He hadn’t put it as a question, but she answered him anyway.

‘No. None whatever. And it’s strange, you know, but marrying Alves has helped in other ways also. He’s an absolute model in the father role. He’s very proud of Anna,
always there but never interfering. You know, we’ve settled into Lisbon very nicely thank you, accepted as a family and as a one child couple when we’re nothing of the kind. Three of us
unrelated, more or less, but just good friends. Funny really.’

Aischa was musing as she noticed David grabbing at his table napkin to brush away the tears which rushed suddenly to his eyes.

‘I’m sorry,’ he was embarrassed, ‘I should be true blue Brit. No nonsense and no blubbing.’

Aischa reached over and put her hand over his.

‘Don’t stop. You should be proud of your reaction, not ashamed of it,’ and she sat back smiling, pleased with him as she asked, ‘what brought that on with a
rush?’

He smiled with her, and chucked the napkin back on the table.

‘Those lines from Rogers and Hammerstein came into my mind. From Carousel wasn’t it? — “you can have fun with a son, but you’ve got to be a father to a girl”.
Instead of which, Aischa, I have gone blithely and blindly about my own life. Driven to succeed, whatever that may be, and always too obsessed with my distant past to either make or to meet my
emotional commitments. I am ashamed. Instead of doing some giving, I’ve done way too much taking. I could’ve been more there for you over all these years. And for Anna. Well for Anna, I
have done absolutely nothing. For my only child and daughter, I have done completely ... fuck all.’

Aischa’s sparkling smile seemed to light the night around her. She arched one eyebrow and remarked in her most mischievous tone,

‘If I recall correctly, that’s exactly what you did do!’

David shook his head and laughed with her. She wouldn’t permit him to lather himself in a bath of righteous self recrimination, and she was so right. He pulled himself sharply together and
said,

‘OK, and thank you. Unspoken rebuke accepted. But tell me, Aischa, what do we do now? Do we have the full and frank discussion?’

Aischa shook her head as she sipped some cognac.

‘No, we absolutely do not. Look, David, you’re not quite through with surprises for this evening. So sit back and listen.’

David did as he was told and she resumed.

‘You know, God really does move in some mysterious ways. I know Anna is still only seventeen — well just — but she’s a pretty mature young lady and she already knows a
fair bit about life. Probably more than you would care to know actually.’

David refused to be drawn, and Aischa went on,

‘I’ve said that she’s mature for her age. She’s fun but she’s not madcap. She’s realistic, but determined. I’ve known for a while that there’s one
man in her life. He’s young, of course, but he is nearly five years older than her and like her in character. He’s very focussed, very sure of his own ground, quite certain of where he
wants to go and with whom he wants to spend his life. And that’s Anna. And she wants him too. They’re set on getting married sometime next year and moving to England where he has a
career — something to do with land in the wilds of the country. I‘ve tried to slow things down a bit, but what can you say? A hundred years ago, she would have been on the shelf at
sixteen, so who’s to say they’re wrong? Even so, I really couldn’t form a judgement until I met him and Anna understood that, so she arranged a get together for the three of us
just last week. He had a bit of holiday due and flew over specially. We had fun together and I like him. I really do. I think the two of them are going to be good together. Exceptionally good and I
was happy to give them my blessing.’

David had to interrupt. ‘I trust you. I’m sure you’re right. But this is good news, isn’t it? Where’s the problem?”

‘There isn’t a problem, but there is a bearing on your question about talking through everything, and that’s because of his identity. You see, Darling, Anna has fallen in love
with the son of one of your greatest friends. She wants to marry Oscar Aveling.’

David was stunned, ‘Good God! That’s incredible,’ he shook his head, ‘what an extraordinary thing. But how did it happen — I mean who introduced them?’

‘A bus conductor it seems! No, actually that’s the pure chance part. Oscar was over here on some friend’s stag party for a weekend. He went out on his own for a couple of hours
to see the sights and he got lost. He can’t speak any Portuguese and he asked directions from a bus conductor who can’t speak English. Anna happened to be at the bus stop: boy meets
girl and there you are!’

‘Well I’ll be damned. It sounds like a film script but I guess it is the sort of thing that happens: and what a great story.’

He paused to light a cigarette and looked serious as he took her hand.

‘You know, Aischa, you don’t have to spell out the rest. I’ve known the background for a long time and I imagine Anna has told you. Oscar is one of twins — and
incidentally, how different from his brother Peter who is a scallywag if ever I met one. They’re the sons of Tepee Aveling, but my old chum Conrad is not their father. Indeed they may have
different fathers because Tepee was gang raped and they are the result. That was years before she met Connie and he loved her more than enough to take them on. But what this means is that Oscar and
Anna both are children of an unknown father, and that is one of the things which binds them together. So why say more? That’s your thought isn’t it?’

‘Precisely. But can you accept that?’

‘Oh yes, my love. Quite definitely I can and I agree with you one hundred per cent. But with just one condition.’

‘Which is?’

‘We leave the status quo as is, but if at any time in the future Anna should ask you about her father, then you must tell her. It’s one thing to keep silent, but something else to
lie about it.’

Aischa considered for a moment, but she knew he was right and she nodded her acknowledgement as he went on speaking.

‘Does Alves know?’

She nodded again, adding, ‘Yes, of course. We’ve never kept anything from each other, but there’s no one else. I’ve never told my father, nor Rafa either.’

David sat forward again and reached across the table for her hand, saying,

‘In which case, I’ve got a request, a favour which I’d like to ask of you both.’

This had Aischa rolling her eyes but she squeezed his hand to encourage him.

‘It’s just that I want to pay for their wedding, and they must have whatever they want. Big, small, grand, discreet — absolutely whatever. You and Alves handle this anyway you
want, but whatever it is, I just want to cover it.’

‘How very male. Many things you may be, David Heaven, but subtle you aren’t. We’ll see, but I expect we can work that one out, and I love the thought behind it.’

David hesitated before he put another question to her.

‘Does Anna...does she know about us?’

‘What a question, darling! Anna’s a girl and we women give far more thought to these things than you giant killing, hunter gatherer guys. But look, you better have more of an
answer’.

She paused to take another cigarette and let David hold a light for her before she resumed.

‘I should say first that Anna knows all about Alves and our marriage: she’s known for years and she has no problem with any of that. She likes Alves — loves him even, and she
values very highly the time and guidance and support which he has given her during all her years of growing up. He has been a constant for her.’

David flinched as her words nipped at him, but he kept silent as she continued.

‘She knows about you, too: not that you’re her natural father, but that you are my lover and companion. She cares about me, about my happiness and fulfilment, and now she is
wondering about my future and what will happen after she has married and gone off to start her new life in England. I tell her that I’m content with Alves and I’m in love with you,
except that I can only have you on high days and holidays.’

‘But that’s not fair, Aischa, you couldn’t just abandon poor Alves ...’

She interrupted him, leaning over and pressing her forefinger to his lips.

‘No, David my darling. It is fair. This has nothing to do with Alves: it’s all to do with you. There are times when I wish I could stop loving you, and God knows I’ve tried.
There’s been no one else for me since you came back into my life, right here by this same fountain, and what was it, fifteen odd years ago? But you’re part time, aren’t you?
There’s not room for me permanently, not even in that apartment of yours in London. I’m not saying you’re married to your job. It’s not that. You’re just like my
father — married to an ideal, a dream, a vision. You don’t want to conceive a child, you want a whole new civilization and a country to put it in!’

Aischa paused to pull on her cigarette and then to stub it out before she continued,

‘Mind you, David Heaven, I’m pretty determined myself. You don’t get rid of me easily either.’

There was a warm pause between them, a look of love and a conspiratorial smile. Then she said,

‘And now, before I go home to our daughter, would you please take me somewhere where I can make love to you.’