Without care (13 page)

There's a light
tapping at the door. “Ayden” it’s her sweet voice, its like golden
droplets to my ears. She is beautiful, the way her gold hair
catches the sunlight. Her pink lips are soft and tempting. Her big
blue eyes that I can stare into consenting losing myself.
Everything about her invites me in and captivates me.

I no longer
have the strength to fight her off anymore, last night I gave up my
last resistance. After tasting her lips, I want more and I want
her. I feel complete with her. I feel like I have a purpose but
when all is said and done, this is still my job.

“Ayden” she
calls out again.

“Coming” I open
my eyes and head out of the bathroom, finding her leaning against
the wall. She is dressed in jeans and a pink shirt. She also looks
amazing in anything she wears. Her golden hair is in loose waves
resting on her shoulders. My body instantly reacts just looking at
her, and I gravitate towards her.

“Are you
excited?”

She turns up
her nose and her mouth twists in the corners. “I'm not exactly sure
all your other friends are going to believe I am 21.” Her shoulders
slope and her blue eyes blink up at me. “I still look like a child,
Ayden.”

My jaw clenches
and I push her up against the wall. My hips blocking her from going
anywhere else. “Stop!” I growl, my hand slowly moving up the length
of her body and I feel her shiver under my touch. My hand moves to
the back of her neck and I tug her hair to bring her head up to
look at me. “You're an adult now. A beautiful young woman who can
do anything you want to do.” I slowly lower my lips and capture
hers.

“Ugh!” Says a
voice behind me. “If you think I'm putting up with that all night,
you're mistaken.”

I pull away and
lazily smile down at Jen. Her cheeks are flushed and she is
breathing heavily. There is so much more I want to do with her. I
must control myself and keep my head focused on my job. I turn
round and come face to face with Tucker.

“You really
have bad timing, mate” I laugh.

“I know” he
gives a little grin and pats me on the back. “So, birthday girl
what is your poison for tonight?”

“U mm...
Poison?” Jen squeaks, she looks really confused. “What is
that?”

“He's asking
what you drink” I laugh. “Jen doesn't drink.” I point my finger at
Tucker, who now has a devious grin on his face. “Don't get any
funny ideas.”

He holds his
hands up in surrender. “Would I do a thing like that? Come on,
birthday girl, I think we have some soda.” He grabs her by the arm
and leads her back into the living room.

Its then when
she's gone I let a deep breath. I lean against the wall and rest my
head back. It’s dangerous to be that close to her. My mind works
independently from my body. At least Tucker is buying the whole
story of her being my girlfriend. Not like it’s hard to fool him
anyway.

He's my best
friend. We met at school and just ended up sharing a place
together. He is the complete opposite of me. He likes women too
much, every weekend he seeks them out and sleeps with them.

I've had a few
girlfriends. The whole one night stand thing seems like a waste of
time. What's the point of having sex if you feel nothing for the
other person? That's why I have to watch myself with Jen. She maybe
an adult now, but I am not taking away her innocence. I am only
assuming she is a virgin. I start to think of that loser Chase. I
hope she hasn't been there.

I hear a door
open and close, there is a big cheer and music starts to play. Its
party time, god I hate these things. I just wanted to celebrate
Jen's birthday. Her life is a reason to celebrate. Sadly her father
doesn't think so. I remember that night with those men and those
guns.

I knew the
treats were coming, I didn't think they would become reality that
quickly. I was hoping we would get more time together. I was
enjoying pretending to be a teenager again. I didn't exactly have
the best experience during my high school years.

I knew it
wouldn't last long, that the real world would make an appearance.
That's why I need to indulge in our week together, as after this, I
don't know if I will ever see her again.

I push myself
away from the wall and walk towards the living area. I smile,
making sure my mask is in place and my eyes fall upon her. She is
stood next to Tucker talking to a few more of my friends. They are
all smiling and Jen looks at ease. I take that moment and briefly
think about us having a future together. I know its not possible,
destiny has other plans.

I walk up
behind her, place my hands around her waist and just enjoy being
close to her. I won't allow myself to think about this stuff again.
Well, not for a few days anyway. I am going to have fun and I am
going to pretend she’s mine. I’ll allow myself to live in a little
bubble for a few days and then I will get back to the job I am
being paid to do. I don't like it, but I have no choice. Sometimes
you just have to deal with the bad and good.

“Ayden” I look
over a short dark haired man. “Where ya' been?”

Its Doug, I
don't really class him as a friend. He annoys me too much, but I
couldn't invite all the other guys and leave him out. Standing next
to him is his wife Natalie. She is just annoying as he is and she
has a thing for me. Given a chance she is all over me and I have to
remind her about her husband, who she only married because of his
money. He's a trust fund baby and loves to tell you about it.

“I’ve been away
working” I place a kiss on the top of Jen's head. Its then I notice
Natalie sending daggers Jen's way and I find it amusing. “How are
you both?”

“We're good”
Doug snorts. Oh, there must be trouble in paradise.

“And you
Natalie?”

She gives a
little flirtatious smile and pushes her overly large enhanced
breast out to capture my attention. I feel like crawling under a
table. She flutters her eyelashes and huskily says. “I’m better now
for seeing you.”

“Great” I say,
disgust clearly in my voice. “Both of you, this is Jen, my
girlfriend. If you'll excuse us.” I grip hold of Jen's hand and
walk off into the kitchen. “I'm sorry about that” I smile, stopping
at my fridge.

“Who was that
woman?” She says, leaning against the work unit.

“Natalie” I
grunt, taking a can of soda from the fridge and closing the door
with my foot. “She can be a little overbearing.”

“Ah,” she
smiles. “She has a thing for you.”

I offer the can
of soda in my hands and she takes it. “Yes a thing it is and a
thing it remains.”

“I don't know
much about you” she takes a sip of her soda. “I mean you know
everything about me. Plus, stuff I didn't know.” She frowns
slightly and takes another sip of her drink.

“What would you
like to know” I playfully nudge her. “I'm practically an open book.
I would also prefer if you asked me and not Tucker. He has a very
vivid imagination.”

She places her
can down on the side and turns to face. “Okay” she nods. “I want to
know everything about your childhood, your parents and also the
nitty gritty juicy bits!”

I raise my
eyebrow and tilt my head to the side. “I have no nitty gritty juicy
bits.”

“Seriously?
You're telling me you have never done anything risqué in your
life.”

“Oh,” I roll my
eyes. “You want to know about past girlfriends.” I scoop down to
her eye level. “I'm not a kiss and tell type of guy, Jen.” I reach
out and place a strand of hair behind her ear. “As you will find
out.”

Her mouth opens
and then closes. “I...er...Wasn't...” she coughs and bites down on
her lips. I enjoy making her speechless.

I stand back up
and laugh. “I'm teasing. I will tell you whatever you want.”

She playfully
hits me in the chest. “You're mean! So, tell me about these
girlfriends.”

“Not here” I
head gesture to the balcony doors. “Let’s go outside.” We make our
way through my guest and head outside into fresh air. Jen settles
down in one chair and me in another. We both look out on to the
Seattle landscape and I suddenly feel at peace and at home.

“Feels good to
be back, doesn't it” Jen says, her eyes still looking out at Lake
Union. The sun is setting and glimmers over the water. I rest my
head back and feel relaxed for a moment. As from tomorrow we will
be getting to work, searching out her father.

Her eyes move
away and she turns her whole body to face me. “You were going to
tell me about these girlfriends?”

I let out a
little laugh. “You really want to know about this stuff, don't
you?”

“Yup, as it’s
my birthday...”

I open my eyes.
“Okay, okay” I sit up and turn to face her. “What do you want to
know?”

“Who was your
first girlfriend?”

“Lara
Thompson,” I begin. “We met in the library I use to study in during
high school. I was 16. We dated for a few months and she went off
with some college guy. Then there was Alison, Jodie, Caroline and
finally Lizzie.”

“Wow” she looks
surprised. “You've had five girlfriends. I feel pathetic now, I've
only ever dated Chase and that only lasted a few weeks.”

I sit back in
my seat. “I don't understand why you dumped him. Becks said you had
a huge crush on him. Why did you end things?”

She turns her
head in the other direction and I notice the side of her cheek turn
red. She shrugs casually. “I told you, I wasn't ready for a
relationship.”

There is an
edge to her voice that makes me believe she isn't being truthful. I
get up out of my seat and kneel down in front of her, my hands
taking grip of hers. Our eyes lock and I watch as she swallows
hard.

“That's not the
reason, Jen. You can trust me...”

She pulls her
hands out of my grip. “What's the point? Not like it even matters
now anyway.” She stands up and walks over to the balcony.
“Everything has changed since then.” She grabs hold of the railing,
bows her head and her shoulders move. “Everything I thought I knew
was just a lie” she sobs.

I get up off
the floor, go and stand behind her. I want to reach out – hug her,
but I feel my touch will be unwanted. “Nothing has changed...”

She spins
round, tears streaming down her cheeks and her face like thunder.
“You've changed, Ayden. I keep trying to push it from my mind, but
you’re not that moody boy I thought I was falling for.” She lets
out a deep breath and brushes the tears away from her face. “I
broke up with Chase as I wanted to be with you. How stupid was
I?”

It takes me a
second to take in her words. She was falling for me? That I didn't
see coming, I thought she always saw me as a friend. I thought I
was pushing my lucky with touching and kissing her. I never thought
for a single minute she felt the same as me. I can feel myself
smiling and move closer towards her.

She holds her
hands up and pushes against my chest. “Ayden,” she softly speaks,
her saying my name sends heat through my body.

“Just listen” I
hiss, gripping both her wrists and pulling her arms away. “I like
you too, Jen. I have already confessed that. I haven't changed and
I am fed up with repeating myself.”

“But...”

“Shh” I move
closer towards her and she takes a step back, now trapped between
me and railings. My hand rest on either side of her body and I take
in her scent. I look deep into her eyes and lower my head down, our
lips only a centimetre apart.

“May I?” I
whisper, she slowly nods and then I kiss her. Slow and soft at
first, she opens her mouth and my tongue dips inside against hers.
Her hands move up my chest and lock around my neck. In that moment
I am alive with desire, I wrap my arms around her waist and press
her body up against mine. The kiss deepens and I crave her more
that anything in my whole life. As the thought crosses my mind, I
know I have to back away from her. I pull away from her, panting
and heart thumping against my chest.

I have never
kissed anyone like that in my life. I have never felt like this
from one kiss. I look at her swollen lips, moist and she brings her
hand up to touch them. Are hers tingling like mine? I think I am
addicted to her. What have I done? Why have allowed my body to rule
my head?

I stand up
straight, smooth back my hair and then place my hands in my
pockets. I have to do something to restrain myself from grabbing
hold of her again. The music inside has got louder and its then I
remember the flat is full of people. Maybe it would be safer inside
around others, as I can't trust myself being alone with her.

“We should head
back inside” I mumble, still staring at the door.

“You’re doing
it again!” She yells behind him, still I don't turn to look at her.
“Fine!” She storms past me and inside. I want to run after her and
confess all my doubts and concerns. I just can't do that, that's
not me and I find it easier to shut down.

I'll give her a
while and she should calm down. I’ll let her think I’m an
inconsiderate bastard for now. It might help put some distance
between us. After all we aren't here on holiday. I'm here to do a
job, a job I take pride in and a job which will secure my
future.