Without Doubt (4 page)

“
Greyden, what are you
talking about? You’re speaking all cryptically now,” Macie says as
she glances in her rearview mirror.

“
Nothing, Mace. Don’t
worry about it.” I turn the radio up and Luca and Keegan start
flipping out, wanting to know what Grey’s talking about. Of
course.

Macie turns the radio back down, watching me
out the corner of her eye. Greyden puts his hand on my shoulder as
he leans forward to get my attention.

“
I’m just curious, bro,
how much did ‘
we’
tip Ava in order for her not to spit in our
beers?”

I look back to see Greyden’s eyebrows raised
in question and Luca and Keegan looking super confused.

“
I didn’t tip Thursday,”
Luca says.

“
I didn’t either,” Keegan
agrees, shaking his head, still confused.

“
Neither did I. Dec said
he’d take care of it,” Greyden explains, keeping his eyes on
mine.

The car is super quiet now and all eyes are
on me except for Macie’s, because she’s driving, but that doesn’t
stop her shifty eyes from meeting mine sporadically. I take a deep
breath and wait for the humiliating berating to begin.

“
Those damn girls that
were with us were being bitches and I felt bad, so I gave her a
hundred bucks and said we all threw in so she wouldn’t spit in our
beers the next time we were in. Okay?” I say quickly.

After only about a ten second pause, a
unanimous “okay” floats across my ears. I’m shocked. Nothing else
is said about Ava the rest of the way. Macie drops the guys off at
their respective destinations before I ask her to go to Max’s with
me for a quick beer. She nods her agreement with knowing eyes. My
sister’s not an idiot.

I walk in after Macie and notice Ava over at
the bar immediately. She’s wearing those little jean shorts again
and has her plaid button down shirt tied up to her navel. Her long,
blonde hair is wavy tonight and hanging around her face. She’s
simply stunning. She looks up just as the door closes behind me and
smiles a wide, kind smile. I want nothing more than to take her
bottom lip in between my teeth and gently tug until an unavoidable
moan escapes, but I won’t.

Macie grabs a table and we sit as Ava heads
our way.

“
Hey, guys! How’s it
going?” Ava says cheerfully, mostly looking at Macie.

“
We’re great, Ava,” my
sister replies, her voice sunny as always. “I just picked Dec up
from the airport and wanted a quick drink before we headed
home.”

“
Oh! Where’d you go?” Ava
asks, looking at me this time.

I get lost in her green eyes for just a
second. “I had a last minute fight arranged on Thursday in New
Jersey. That’s why we didn’t come in on Thursday.”

“
Did you win?” She
scrunches up her little nose and slightly tilts her head to the
side in question before rushing on to continue. “Just lie if you
didn’t, because I would hate to hear that you got the crap beat out
of you.” She shakes her head furiously as if she wanted to
completely erase her question.

Macie laughs hard and I can’t help the low
chuckle that rumbles from my chest. “I did win and I’m not
lying.”

“
Good!” Ava says on a
breath. “Well, let’s get you some celebratory drinks on me! What’ll
it be?”

“
I’ll have a Corona and
Mace will have a glass of white wine, whatever your House is will
be fine. It’s not on you, though, Ava. I’ll buy them.”

Ava shakes her head and says she’ll be right
back with our drinks. I watch her walk away in her tiny shorts
before looking back to Macie; her eyes, so similar to mine,
watching me intently.

“
Has a nice girl finally
got the attention of my big brother?” she asks with a
smirk.

“
Shut up, Macie.” I laugh
with my little sister for a moment. “I’ve caught so much shit from
the guys over this girl; it’s ridiculous. What’s worse is that she
won’t even go on a date with me. I’m catching all of this heat and
am reaping no rewards for it. It sucks.”

Macie smiles softly at me for a minute
before she decides what she wants to say. She touches my arm softly
and gives it a quick squeeze. “I only had a minute to speak with
her last week, but she’s really sweet. I don’t know what her reason
is for not wanting to go on a date with you, but make sure you’re
careful with her, Dec. She seems quiet and thoughtful and very
reserved; you need to keep that in my when pursuing her. She’s not
your typical gym rat that hangs around pretending to work out so
she can look at you. She’s different.”

Scrubbing my face with both palms, I try to
shake Ava from my mind. I fail. As usual. “I know. I know all of
that and I think that’s probably the reason that I can’t stop
thinking about her.” I look up at Macie to see Ava approaching our
table. I’m sure she heard at least part of what I just said and I
can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing.

“
Here you go!” Ava trills
happily as she places our drinks in front of us. She reaches up to
brush her long hair out of her eyes before looking down at me. “Um,
thanks for the dinner the other night. It was delicious.” She
slides her hands into the back pockets of her shorts, which pushes
her chest out towards me, drawing my attention there immediately.
It’s different with her, though—it’s not a well-rehearsed,
look-at-my-tits move like most girls I know. Ava has no idea what
she just did to me below the table. She rocks back on her heels and
gives me a small smile when my gaze finds its way back up to her
eyes; she looks uncomfortable.

“
You’re welcome. I’m glad
you liked it. It’s from my favorite Italian restaurant.” Amazingly,
I manage as I keep both hands on my beer bottle, because the urge
to grab her is nearly irresistible.

“
Can I talk to you for
minute?” she hesitates briefly before adding, “in the back maybe?”
She looks over at Macie with an apologetic look and Macie just
beams her bright smile back at her.

“
Sure.” I really have no
idea what she would want to talk about that needs to be done in
private but I’m not about to stop her.

I place my hand at the small of her back and
she looks quickly over her shoulder at me. I smile to reassure her
that its ok and she continues walking. She doesn’t know me, I don’t
know her, but I know there’s something here that I normally don’t
have with a stranger. I mean, if you can call her a stranger; to me
it seems like Ava is instantly friends with anyone that crosses her
path.

We walk into the break room and she leans
her hip against the table that sits in the middle of the room.
There are a few overstuffed leather chairs and a matching sofa on
one side with a kitchen on the other. Ava crosses her arms and
looks at me, her brow furrowing while I imagine she contemplates
what to say. The only noise is the hum of the ceiling fan and I’m
completely content just standing here in the slightly broken
silence, watching her brainstorm.

I don’t know what direction she’s planning
on this conversation going, so I decide to wait and let her work it
out in her head. I stand with my hands in my pockets, just watching
her, thinking I could stand here, admiring her, forever.

She takes a deep breath before speaking.
“I’m just going to be honest here. It’ll probably make me look bad,
but I just don’t know of any other way to go about it.”

I’m stumped. “Ok. Honesty is good,” I
encourage her. “What is it you need to say?” Without over thinking
it, I take a step closer and she automatically straightens her
stance.

“
Let me ask you this
first—why did you send me that dinner?”

I don’t even have to think about that answer
before replying, “Because those ramen noodles are terrible for you
and I don’t like the idea of you eating badly. Because I wanted to
take you to dinner, I still want to, but you won’t go with me.
Because I was hoping it would make you smile. Because I wanted to
and I usually do what I want, Ava.”

Her breathing hitched a bit and then she
slowly nodded her head a couple times. At some point during my
answer, I took another couple steps, so I’m right in front of her
and she’s looking up at me, her neck elongated and exposed.

“
Ok.” Her words come out
like a sigh and I think goosebumps just popped out on the back of
my neck.

“
Did it make you smile,
Ava?” I would be called all kinds of things if the guys ever heard
any part of this conversation, but I don’t give a shit. I like this
girl a whole lot, and for some reason I haven’t figured out yet, I
want to make this confusing, frustrating, hot as hell girl mine. I
want to make her smile.

“
Yes. Thank you.” She
places her small hand on my cheek and I’m tempted to dig my hands
into her long hair and pull her face to mine so I can press my
mouth against her shiny, plump lips and not let go for a while. But
I won’t. I’ll let her do this at her pace.

Before I know it, she lets out an agitated
puff of air and drops her hand from my face. She squeezes past me
and pulls a chair from the table around to me. She faces it towards
the door. “Sit. Please.” She sounds irritated and it’s cute as
hell. “I can’t say what I need to say while you’re looking at me
with your big stupid beautiful eyes.”

I don’t mean to laugh at her, but a low
chuckle escapes my lips before I can stop it. After I sit, I lean
forward to put my elbows on my knees and twist my lip ring to keep
from turning around to watch her pacing behind me.

“
I’ve seen you come in and
out of here for a while now. I even asked who you were. I’m sure
it’s obvious that I’m attracted to you and you seem to alter my way
of thinking when you’re too close to me. Your note with the
outrageous tip and the note along with dinner made me feel things I
can’t allow myself to feel, Declan. I don’t know why you’re doing
this; nobody does, actually. Everyone that has spoken to me seems
to be dumbfounded at the things you’ve said and done regarding me.
I hate that after just one conversation and a few notes and
gestures from you, I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about
you. I
missed
you
this last week, Declan. That’s
crazy
. I mean crazy like, maybe I
should be committed for my obsessive stalker tendencies kind of
crazy.”

I can’t do it anymore. I told myself that I
would hear her out, but she’s starting to get really upset and I
can’t let her think that she’s alone in the “obsessive stalker
tendencies.” I stand up slowly and face her. She’s still pacing and
ringing her poor, small hands against each other furiously. I grasp
both of her shoulders to stop her from pacing.

“
I’m not finished,” she
states skeptically in a tortured voice, looking up into my eyes.
Tears are resting on the brims of her eyelids.

“
Okay,” I whisper in fear
of startling her; she seems to be in a different world at the
moment.

“
I live a life that you
wouldn’t possibly be interested in. I have responsibilities and
obligations that made me grow up way too quickly and I’ve adjusted
to that.” She looks away and pulls in a long breath. “Certain
circumstances keep me from having fun. I don’t party. I don’t have
friends; not really, anyway. I go to school and work around the
clock and I have…” She trails off for a minute, seemingly deciding
whether or not to continue. “I have other
things
that take up whatever time is
left over. Which, trust me, is not much. I don’t know what you’re
looking for from me, but I’m certain I can’t deliver.”

“
I understand all of that,
Ava, but I very much doubt that you couldn’t deliver.” I slide my
hands up to grip the sides of her neck and allow my thumbs to graze
the bottom of her jaw.

“
I’m serious, Declan. I
can’t and won’t bring you into a relationship that doesn’t suit you
and I’m definitely not the girl that hooks up. That’s just not me.
Even if I really wanted to just have sex with you, I couldn’t do
you. I mean do it. Dammit, none of that sounds right.” Her big,
round, green eyes are horrified by her confession, but stopping my
smile and laughter is actually impossible.

Everything about this girl drives me
wild.

“
You’re not helping your
case any, Ava Sterling. Every time you open up that beautiful mouth
of yours, I’m a little more attracted to you for
several
different
reasons.”

Her shoulders drop and she lets out a ragged
breath.

“
Can you at least let me
decide if
some
kind of relationship with you suits me or not?”

She backs away from me before she starts her
short pacing again. “No, I can’t. If I do that, then you will have
me sucked into living a life that won’t last and the only thing
I’ll be left with is a broken heart.”

“
Do you always say what’s
on your mind?” I hate the idea of breaking her heart, but love the
fact that she thinks I’m capable of owning that much of
her.

“
Yes,” she says with sheer
confidence, and I know she means it.

I go to her once again, but this time I wrap
her up in my arms without giving her a choice. She smells like
vanilla bean. It’s incredibly enticing; I want to bury my nose
beneath her ear and breathe her in. But again, I won’t.

“
I can’t do this, Declan,”
she manages sadly. Softly. “You won’t want to once you know the
real me, all of me. There’s just so much that you don’t know. It’s
a deal breaker, I swear.”