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Authors: Cathy Hopkins

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BOOK: Zodiac Girls: Brat Princess
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“Oh all right then,” said Hermie. “I will be…
Messenger Bear.”

Mr O looked appeased. “Hmm. That’s okay I
suppose. You got her phone for her?”

Hermie nodded and reached into a desk behind
him.

Phone?
I asked myself.
These idiots were going to actually
let me have a phone?

Hermie tossed me a package wrapped in gold paper
and everyone watched me unwrap it as if it was gift
giving time at Christmas.

I ripped the last bit of paper. Inside
was
a phone and
a small box. The phone was gold-coloured with a
single and very large diamond at the top above the
numbers.
Vulgar,
I thought. It didn’t look cheap, but it
wasn’t exactly the height of sophistication either. The
assorted nutters, however, were looking at me as
though I’d just won the jackpot.
They really are mad,
I
thought,
first they kidnap me, then they give me a phone, like
d’er. Do they think I won’t actually use it to phone for help?

“You can use it to get in touch with me whenever you
like,” beamed Mr O.

“You? And why would I want to do that when
you’re right here in the same place as me?”

Mr O tapped the side of his nose. “Ah, but who
knows what the next month holds? You might get lost
when out on a hike. You might need to talk to
someone. Oh yes, I think you’ll find that you come to
value that phone dearly.”

“And I think that
you’ll
find that, even if I did need
to talk to someone, you’d be the last person on Earth.
What makes you think that I would want to talk to you?”

“Because I am your guardian!” said Mr O.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I sighed. I put the
phone to one side and opened the box. Inside was a
white gold chain with a charm on it. I looked more
closely and saw that the charm was a tiny lion’s head.

“The lion for a Leo,” said Mr O. “Only very
special
people get these phones and a chain like that, and you
have been chosen to join their ranks.”

I tossed the phone and charm aside. “Yeah. Yeah.
Whatever.”

Mr O flushed red and looked like he was going to
explode. I could see that a vein on his forehead was
throbbing. “Well! You
ungrateful
little madam!”

Mario took Mr O aside and was talking to him as if
trying to calm him down.
But what’s the big deal
? I asked
myself. At home, I have five mobiles and a whole
drawer full of jewellery. No way was I impressed by
these pathetic little trinkets that looked like they came
out of a cheap Christmas cracker.

Mr O turned back into the room. “Hermie, give her
the papers,” he said.

Hermie reached into the desk, and this time he
pulled out a sheaf of papers which he handed to me.

I glanced down. The first page had what looked like
a geometric drawing on it. A circle with squares and
lines all over it.

“It’s your horoscope,” said Mr O.

“So? Big deal. I already know my horoscope.
Mummy has a private astrologer and he did my chart
when I was a baby. He gives us updates every month.”

“In that case you’ll know you have some SEVERE
lessons coming up, then,” said Dr Cronus.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

He rolled his eyes up to the heavens. “Childish,” he
said, and Mr O nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
“Might have known you’d respond like that. It’s all in
your chart. Childish. Spoilt. Stubborn. Used to having
your own way. We need to put up some boundaries.
Honestly. Leos. They all think that the world revolves
around them. Always the same. And you’re a Leo with
Leo rising and the moon in Gemini.”

“So?”

“Moon in Gemini means that you have a short
attention span,” said Selene.

“And you’re a double Leo. A right handful,” said
Mr O.

“And Mars in Taurus at the time of your birth,
which can make you wilful and stubborn if you don’t
get your own way,” said Mario with a shake of his
head.

“Indeed. You’ve got a thing or two to learn all
right,” said Dr Cronus, then he seemed to lose interest
and turned back to the fire. “Still. All in good time.”

Mr O reached over and took the papers from my
hand. “One thing that your astrologer
didn’t
tell you and
that is that, according to the stars, you are this month’s
Zodiac Girl. That’s the real news!” At this point, all the
people in the room nodded, albeit wearily in the
doctor’s case.

Mr O waited to see my reaction and I had a feeling
that I was supposed to have fallen to the floor in
amazement and kissed his feet. As it was, I was
distinctly underwhelmed.

“Yeah? So?”

“I am saying that you are a Zodiac Girl,” he
repeated.

“Which means what exactly?”

“It means that, for one month, you get the help of
me and my companions here.”

“Like a special offer at the supermarket? Think I’ll
pass, thank you very much.”

Dr Cronus tutted his disapproval loudly and Mr O
looked very,
very
cross.

“Millions of girls would kill to be in your position,”
he said.

“Cool, so let them come here and be
Zodiac Girl
and
let me go home or to Paris, which is where I’m meant
to be.”

All the gathered muttered more disapproval as I
said this.

Mr O threw my horoscope in the air. “I am quite
clearly wasting my time here!” He looked dangerously
close to having a tantrum. “I don’t think that you
understand, Leonora,” he said through gritted teeth.
“To be chosen as a Zodiac Girl is a rare honour.”

“Okay, so what do you get as Zodiac Girl? A crown?
A sash? A certificate? There’s only one thing I want
right now and that is the fastest way possible out of
here.”

“You’ll get a good caning if I have my way,” said Dr
Cronus.

“Yes. Whack her one,” said Mr O as he made a fist
and shook it at me. “She’s asking for it.”

Selene got up and came over to Mr O. “Now, now,”
she soothed. “That’s not the attitude. She is a child.”

“A child! No. I’m not. Go on,” I goaded. “Whack me
one. Come on, bite me. See if I care.” I’d dealt with
worse old codgers than him and Dr Cronus in my
time. “But I have to warn you, if you lay one finger on
me, I’ll sue. My father has the best lawyers—”

“Zip it, zit girl,” said Dr Cronus.

Zit girl!
I put my hand up to my forehead where I’d
covered up my spots that morning. My concealer must
have worn off. “Buh… wuh…” I blustered. The old
Crony had actually called me
zit
girl and now he was
sniggering with Mr O as if they were ten-year-old boys
who’d just made a really good joke.
How rude!

Mr O composed himself then shook his head. “No,
no, you’re not getting it, Leonora. You have got the aid
of the stars for one month. Don’t you see how
wonderful that is?”

I raised an eyebrow at him as if to say that, no, I
didn’t.

“It’s true,’ he said. “I am the Sun, Selene is the
Moon, Hermie is Hermes otherwise known as
Mercury, Dr Cronus is Saturn, Mario no less than
Mars himself.”

Oh. My. God. I’d been captured by a bunch of
lunatics. I’d had enough. “Yeah yeah yeah. And I’m the
Queen of Sheba,” I said as I grabbed the zodiac
phone and made a dash for the door.

 

Chapter Five
No escape

I ran down the maze of corridors not sure where I was
going or what I was going to do. All I knew was that I
had to get away. I ran through the empty kitchen and
tried the back door. It was locked with three enormous
brass bolts and no sign of a key, and I looked in all the
nearby drawers, pots and jars.

I ran back through to the front and tried the door
there. It was also locked.
Weird that no-one’s coming after me
,
I thought as I glanced down at the zodiac phone,
punched in Tigsy’s number and waited to hear it ring.
Nothing. Maybe there was no signal in such a remote
place. And then the phone rang. I pressed a button that
was flashing green and listened.

“Hey kid,” said Mr O’s voice. “Just checking it’s
working.”

“I can’t call out on it. I just tried it.”

“Oh, it’s not for phoning out to anybody. Do you
think we were born yesterday?” In the background I
could hear laughter when he said this. “It’s for you and
me to keep in touch. I’m your zodiac guardian,
remember?”

“Oh really. You and me?”

“Yeah.”


Just
you and me?”

“And maybe the other planets that I introduced you
to should you need.”

I chose to ignore the “other planets” issue. “But I
can’t use it to phone out? Or receive calls from
outside?”

“Nope.”

“Oh really. Hmm. Well, I’ll show you exactly what
I think about that,” I said and threw the phone down
onto the floor, then stomped on it over and over until
it was just a mass of splintered gold particles.

“You’re going to regret that,” said Mr O’s voice
from the splinters. “You have the Moon and Mars in
your—”

I stomped on the phone again.

“Drama queen!” said his voice again. “Throwing
tantrums is no way to get through life, you know. All I
wanted to tell you was that it’s a new moon tonight so
things might get…”

And then it made a fizzing sound, a pop, then it went
quiet.

Things might get what?
I wondered as I ran back down
the corridors and up onto the first floor which was
deserted and where all the doors were locked with no
sign of a fire escape anywhere. It was also strange that
no-one had tried to follow me. I ran back downstairs
and had stopped to catch my breath when the
mermaid-looking lady came strolling towards me. She
smiled then pointed to my right. “Down there and to
the left.”

And off she went.

What did she mean? What was down there? A way
out? More lunatics who thought that they were
planets? Supper? What? Thinking about supper made
me realize I was hungry,
starving
in fact.
But where are the
staff in this place?
I wondered.
The waitresses? And where’s
my suite? In fact, maybe I’ll put off running away until the
morning when I’ve had a good night’s kip. If Mummy and Daddy
have paid then the facilities are bound to be okay as we never stay
anywhere less than five-star
.

I decided that I had nothing to lose by following
Selene’s directions and was about to set off when
Hermie appeared.
Now who was he again?
I asked myself.
What had Mr O said? That Hermie was the delivery boy or the
messenger or something
.

“Where’s my suite?” I asked. “And I’d like a
chocolate milk-shake and some French fries brought in.
Mr O said you’re the one who fetches what we need?”

Hermie cracked up laughing. “Suite? How should I
know? I am Mercury. Planet of communication.”

“So communicate. Tell me where my room is, then
get me a milk-shake.”

Hermie cracked up again and bowed. “Right.
Chocolate milk-shake? French fries? I’ll see what I can
do.”

“Thanks,” I said. “And be quick about it.”

“Sure. Quick is my speciality actually. I can be as
quick as if I had winged feet sometimes,” he said then
winked. “In the meantime, you need to go down to the
door on your left. It’s time to sign in.”

“You mean get my suite?”

Hermie nodded. “Yeah. To… get your suite.”

I turned and made my way to the room he’d
indicated. I opened the door and there was Selene
behind a table with a pile of clothes on it. “How did
you get in here?” I asked. I’d only just seen her a few
moments ago, walking the other way.

She tapped the side of her nose. “The Moon has
many mysteries, many secrets,” she said, and she
picked up a pile of clothes, a pair of trainers, a black
baseball cap and a small brown paper bag from the
table and handed them to me. “Now, first things first.
You’ve missed dinner, so here’s a sandwich, an apple
and a carton of orange juice.”

I took a peek in the bag and handed it back to
Selene. “Er, no. I don’t think so. I only eat red apples
and that one is green. I don’t eat brown bread, I only
like ciabatta – toasted – and I don’t do orange juice. I’ve
already ordered some fries and a milk-shake.”

Selene took the bag back. “Are you sure? You must
be hungry.”

“I’d rather eat my own arm than that.”

“Suit yourself,” said Selene. “You might well have to
do that. But in the meantime, you have to change.
When in boot camp, you have to dress like a boot
camper. So, off with those clothes you’ve got on and
pop these on.”

I glanced at the clothes she’d given me. A navy
fleece, trackie bottoms and a pair of plain white
trainers. Off the scale of uncool. The trainers weren’t
even by a
cheap
designer. “Are you out of your mind?”

“So some folk say,” she replied. ‘I am the Mo—”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard Mr O’s intro. You’re the
Moon. Good for you. And I’m a teapot. Yeah. We’ve
been through the introductions. So. Where are my
things and my suitcase?”

Selene looked taken aback. “In the vault. You can
have it back at the end.”

“End? But… you
can’t
take my things away. They’re
mine.”

She gave me a simpering smile. “Not any more,” she
said then held out a transparent plastic bag. “Now put
your jewellery in here.”

I put my hand up to my throat and fingered my
locket on its silver chain. A ripple of panic went
through me. “No.
No.
I can’t do that. I
won’t
do that.”

Selene smiled again. “We don’t use the word ‘won’t’
here. Nor ‘can’t’.” In a second, her expression changed
and became sad. “Now give over the jewellery.” She
held out her hand.

I wasn’t actually wearing much jewellery, only my
studs, my locket and chain and my silver bracelet.
None of it was worth very much as I tend not to travel
in my valuable stuff, but no way was I handing it over,
especially not the locket. “No,” I said. “You can take a
hike.” I noticed that she was wearing a necklace. It was
a pendant with a circle in the middle and two half-moons
on either side. “You’ve got your necklace on, so
I’m going to keep mine.”

BOOK: Zodiac Girls: Brat Princess
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