Zom-B Gladiator (9 page)

‘Does the girl need to eat brains?’ the other woman at the table asks. She’s conservatively dressed in a dark jacket and trousers.
Grey hair. A pinched face. ‘Ask her if she needs to eat brains, Luca.’

‘Ask her yourself,’ Luca snaps.

The woman frowns. ‘I don’t want to talk to one of
them
. She’s a thing, not a person.’

‘But you’re happy for me to talk to her?’ Luca growls.

‘You’re more natural in situations like this,’ the woman simpers.

Luca barks a laugh. ‘You’re useless, Vicky. I don’t know how you
got into Parliament so many times.’

‘By being ruthless with people who displease me,’ Vicky says flatly.

‘Peace,’ the final man to speak says. He’s the oldest, a white-haired, thick-limbed guy. The others quit squabbling immediately. The man rises and crosses the room to study me up close. If I leant forward quickly, I could bite him. But it would be my final act and he knows it. I don’t
smell any fear on him.

‘My name is Justin Bazini,’ he says. ‘If you had the right connections, you would know what that name means. I’m a man of immense wealth and power. Those are Lords Luca and Daniel Wood, not as well off as my good self, but not short of a few shillings either.’

‘What are shillings?’ Dan-Dan asks jokingly.

Justin points at the overdressed woman. ‘Lady Jemima.
You probably saw her picture a lot in the fashion magazines when you were alive.’

‘I didn’t waste my time reading fashion mags,’ I sniff.

He looks down at my clothes and smiles mockingly. ‘Evidently not. Our other good lady is Victoria Wedge. I imagine you weren’t the most political of creatures, so I don’t suppose you –’

‘I know who Vicky Wedge is,’ I interrupt. ‘I don’t recognise
the face but I know the name. My dad used to talk about her. He thought the sun shone out of her backside. Not too fond of foreigners, was she?’

‘There is nothing wrong with foreigners,’ Vicky Wedge says with an icy smile. ‘As long as they are invited foreigners who can be of benefit to their adopted homeland. Was your father one of my supporters?’

‘Yeah. He had the real hots for you.
He always had a soft spot for bigots.’

I expect her to flush at the insult but she only laughs. ‘What a charmless little beast. The perfect example of why I campaigned for chemical castration of the more vulgar, useless proletariat.’

‘You surely did not campaign openly about such a controversial issue, did you?’ the guy with the crown asks.

‘No,’ Vicky scowls. ‘My spin doctors advised
against it. They thought it might inspire some of the vile creatures to crawl to the polling stations to vote against me.’

‘And, finally, the gentleman with the crown is The Prince.’ Justin wraps up the introductions.

‘No actual name?’ I ask.

‘I prefer not to use it,’ The Prince says grandly. ‘In this world I am one of the last of my kind. One day I will be
the
last. People might
as well get used to calling me by my title.’

‘Not interested in being king?’ I sneer.

‘Oh no,’ The Prince says. ‘Nobody likes a king. But everyone loves a prince. I want to be loved. I
will
be loved.’

Justin returns to his seat and rocks back and forth as he addresses me. ‘We are the Board. We happened to be together here in London when the world fell. Rather than flee, as so many
in our position did, we stood firm and made this vessel our own, choosing it both because it’s easier to defend than a landlocked building and because it’s such a potent reminder of our glorious past.’

‘Plus I’ve always liked big boats,’ Dan-Dan giggles. ‘Sailors are my favourite military personnel. Their uniforms are to die for.’

‘We’re going to run this world again one day,’ Luca
says.

‘And run it the right way this time,’ Vicky Wedge adds pointedly.

‘From here?’ I ask sceptically.

‘Of course not,’ Justin snaps. ‘This is merely a temporary base. But we will maintain our position in London, you can be sure of that. Once the situation has stabilised and we’ve rid the streets of their zombie scum, we’ll recover Downing Street and Buckingham Palace, and run the
world from the heart of the great British Empire, as it always should have been.’

‘
Rule Britannia
,’ Dan-Dan sings at the top of his voice.

‘I think the army might have something to say about that,’ I mutter.

‘Nonsense,’ The Prince chuckles. ‘Soldiers exist to be given orders. No military junta ever ruled for long. They will need leaders to guide them.’

‘And you think you guys
fit the bill?’

‘Who else?’ Justin challenges me. ‘The other survivors of our stature, who might have provided competition, fled like frightened animals when the chips were down. Class will always triumph. We stood firm and that will be acknowledged.’

‘You’re cuckoo,’ I sniff, ignoring Barnes’s warning to be careful about what I say. ‘Money doesn’t matter any more. You won’t be able to
buy your way into power again.’

‘Foolish child,’ Lady Jemima laughs.

‘Ignorant brat,’ Vicky Wedge adds snidely.

‘Money will always be a factor,’ Dan-Dan says, dropping the man-child act. ‘Cash might not be worth what it was, but diamonds and gold hold their value no matter what.’

‘We have plenty of those stored away,’ Luca boasts.

‘And we know where we can get more,’ The
Prince beams, rubbing his hands together greedily.

‘In short,’ Justin concludes, ‘we’re perfectly positioned to take control of the world. It will happen, there is no question of that. It’s just a matter of when. And until then we’re keen to kill time.’ He’s been drumming his fingers on the table. Now he stops and points at me. ‘That’s where
you
come in. Tell me, Miss Smith, do you have
a taste for combat? If you don’t,’ he adds quickly before I can answer, ‘fret not, dear girl, because you will develop one soon, once the killing begins . . .’

The members of the Board file out of the Wardroom, Dan-Dan moving swiftly to make sure he’s at the head of the procession. Half the guards go with them. The other half keep their weapons trained on me.

‘What’s going on here?’ I ask Barnes.

He doesn’t answer.
Instead it’s Coley who says, ‘Entertainment will always be a thriving industry. Our lords and ladies wish to be amused, and they have the funds in place to ensure those wishes are met.’

‘You can’t care about money now,’ I mutter, again addressing my comments to Barnes. ‘Those power-hungry leeches are doolally. We can never go back to the old ways.’

‘I’m not too sure about that,’ Barnes
says softly. ‘But no, I’m not in it for the money.’

‘Then what?’ I growl. ‘The kicks? Do you like seeing zombies suffer?’

Barnes only stares at me.

‘He has his reasons,’ Coley says defensively.

‘And they’re mine to share or not,’ Barnes barks.

‘Easy, big guy,’ Coley chuckles. ‘I wasn’t going to say any more.’

‘What about you?’ I sniff.

‘I like the work and I like the
perks,’ Coley grins. ‘There are women here who look kindly on brave soldiers like me. We have access to alcohol, drugs, anything we want. Power and wealth mean nothing to me. It’s all about the fringe benefits.’

A guard comes to fetch us and leads us to an even larger, longer room. Some poles run along the middle, supporting the ceiling. Thick glass panels have been set in place along one
side of the room, the side with small round windows in it. Panels also cover the far end of the room, where there’s an access door. The result is a sealed, self-contained, L-shaped corridor.

The half-dozen members of the Board are standing on the other side of the glass, in the corridor. The Prince and Justin Bazini are puffing fat cigars. Lady Jemima is smoking a cigarette clasped in
a long, fancy holder. Lord Luca pops a few pills. Vicky Wedge is leaning against the glass, breathing heavily, her arms crossed, and Dan-Dan is close by her, tapping on the glass with his fingers, cooing at me as if I was a caged bird. At one point he leans forward and licks the glass. Then he draws a little heart in his spit and flutters his eyelashes at me.

There are bloodstains smeared
across the glass on my side. Bits of flesh are stuck to it in places. Bones are scattered across the floor.

‘Can you hear us, little girl?’ Dan-Dan calls. ‘Is the sound system working? It had better be. I don’t like it when that breaks down. Heads will roll if there are any technical problems today.’

‘We can hear you loud and clear, Lord Wood,’ Coley replies.

Dan-Dan smiles. ‘I can
hear you too. That’s perfect.’

‘Unbind her and come on round,’ Justin says to Barnes and Coley. ‘We want to share the show with you, a reward for all the hard work you’ve put in over the last few weeks.’

Barnes faces me. ‘We can do this the hard way if you want. I can taser you and release you while you’re subdued. But if you give me your word not to attack us, we can just take off
the cuffs and leave you be.’

‘No need for the taser,’ I beam. ‘I’ll be a good girl. Promise.’

Barnes stares at me for a few beats, then grins tightly. ‘I don’t believe you.’

I drop the fake smile. ‘That’s because I’m lying. If I get the chance, I’ll rip your throats open and wallow in your blood before you die.’

‘You’d rather the taser?’

‘Bring it on.’

Barnes sighs and
gives Coley the nod. ‘I’m loving this,’ Coley says, then lets me have it. I collapse in a spasming heap. Stars fill my head again. The agony is even worse than the first time and seems to last longer.

As I start to recover, I realise that my hands and legs are free. Coley and Barnes removed the cuffs and withdrew from the room while my senses were swimming. They’re on the other side of
the glass now, with the guys and gals of the Board. No guards in sight.

‘This used to be the dining hall,’ Dan-Dan tells me. He’s pawing the glass, like a puppy waiting for a treat. ‘The Wardroom was reserved for the officers. This was for the common crew. I prefer the informal atmosphere here. How about you?’

I try to tell him where he can stuff his
informal atmosphere
, but my mouth
isn’t working properly yet. All that comes out is a low mumbling noise.

‘You haven’t broken her, have you?’ Dan-Dan snaps at Barnes and Coley. ‘If you have, we’ll kill her and send you straight out to find another one for us. I want a fully functional, talking zombie. I won’t settle for second best.’

‘She’ll be fine in a minute or two,’ Barnes assures him.

‘She’d better be,’ Dan-Dan
growls. ‘Poor thing. Did they hurt you, little girl? Don’t worry, Dan-Dan will make the pain go away. I’d kiss you better if I could. Dan-Dan loves his clever zombie, yes he does.’

‘Heaven save us from simpletons,’ Lady Jemima sighs. ‘Maybe we should throw Daniel in there with her.’

‘Careful,’ Lord Luca snarls. ‘That’s my brother you’re talking about.’

‘I was only joking,’ Lady Jemima
says quickly. ‘I adore him really.’

As the would-be rulers of the world snipe at one another, the door to my side of the room opens and two guards step in and move to either side. They train their guns on me and tell me to take a few steps back. When I’ve retreated, a zombie is hustled in by another guard. There’s a collar around the zombie’s neck, attached to a stiff lead, giving the guard
plenty of space.

Yet another guard enters, with a second captive zombie, followed by three more. Then one last guard comes in. This guy’s holding a taser like Coley’s. He gives each zombie a quick burst. As they fall to the floor and writhe, their handlers set them free and slip out of the room. The pair with guns are the last to leave and they slam shut the door after themselves. While
the zombies on the floor recover, I study them cautiously. Three men, a woman and a teenage boy. The men are muscular and dressed in normal clothes. The woman is wearing a chef’s outfit. The boy is naked.

‘I chose that one,’ Dan-Dan sniggers. ‘Nudity is so pleasing to the eye, isn’t it, especially in one so young and pure?’

‘You’re a degenerate,’ Lord Luca laughs.

‘Not at all,’
Dan-Dan tuts. ‘I simply like to appreciate the human form in all its natural glory.’

‘An interesting mix,’ Justin murmurs, then calls out to me. ‘As the street-smart young woman that you appear to be, I’m sure you’ve already sussed the state of play. We want you to fight to the death. We’ve been pitting living slaves against zombies for months now, but they’ve struggled to stage an engaging
fight. It seems the true gladiatorial spirit died out among the human masses long ago. But we’re sure you’ll serve up a decent show.’

I slide my jaw from side to side and wriggle my tongue about to make sure I can speak again. Then I shoot Justin the finger. ‘Get stuffed, grandad.’

Justin shakes his head bitterly. ‘Why do the youth of today have to make it so hard on themselves? Vicky,
would you lend me your assistance?’

‘My pleasure.’ She moves to a small hatch which I hadn’t noticed before. It’s covered with a glass rectangle. She slides it open and draws a gun from a holster behind her back, kneels and aims at one of the male zombies.