02 Blood Roses - Blackthorn (30 page)

Chapter Twenty-eight

W
rapping her arms around herself, Leila headed across to the low gate. She pressed her foot down hard on the first step, just to be sure, despite Caleb leading the way. Seeing it didn’t budge, she stepped up onto it. The rain had ceased again, but the air was still thick with the threat of an ongoing storm. The gentle breeze wafted her hair from her face as she ascended slowly, her left hand sliding over stone for reassurance as she tried not to look at the drop below.

Reaching the recess, she expected to come up against a doorway. Instead she faced a narrow, enclosed stone staircase of maybe another fifteen steps that led up onto the roof. She sent an uneasy glance across her shoulder, down at the warm amber glow spilling onto the balcony, the lounge now seeming a mile away.

Ascending the secret stairwell, she finally emerged onto an extensive flat roof. The chunter of extractor fans resounded from a couple of low brick buildings, one billowing steam into the air. The periphery wall was low, maybe as high as mid-thigh, broken up by square turrets, some flat, some topped with a stone animal or crest.

The breeze channelled through her hair, blowing her negligee against her knees as she caught her breath at the 360-degree view of Blackthorn, bright lights igniting dense darkness. Even in all its urban degradation, it was a breathtaking sight.

She looked across to the dome that lay central to the expanse – a glass dome at least forty feet in diameter, the mirrored walls reflecting the scene that surrounded it, amber lights warping on the polished exterior.

‘What’s that?’ Leila asked.

‘What I want to show you,’ he said, guiding her towards the doors.

He keyed in a code on the door before pulling it open.

He kept hold of her hand as he led her inside.

It was dark but the view beyond was as clear as if they will still outside, the glass dome, aside from the frame, as transparent from the inside as if it wasn’t even there. Her eyes not having adjusted to the dimness, she looked up at the Blackthorn sky above as Caleb let her hand go to step back over to the door. Vertical amber strip lights embedded into the dome’s black metal frame suddenly ignited, giving the room a subtle candlelight glow.

She looked from the glass ceiling to the room ahead, her attention falling immediately to the large, circular, sunken bed before her – the blood-red sheets and cushions sprinkled with a plethora of stemmed red roses.

Her heart caught in her throat as she instinctively took a step back.

It would have been a beautifully sensual sight had the message behind it not been so cruel.

Caleb strolled away from her, around the circumference of the room, past the black leather curved seats that sat against the glass walls, all facing the bed below. This was just as much an auditorium as anything – a snatch into his past. A snatch into the Caleb she had started to believe might not exist anymore.

It had been less than two days. Two intense days where she had started to believe whatever she had wanted to believe in order to give herself hope. Faced with her ultimate terror, she had started to see things that she had needed to see. She had started to allow herself to believe he would feel enough for a serryn to turn his back on his entire kind.

But Caleb strolled with enough detachment now to remind her of exactly who he was, the glow of the backdrop of his pending kingdom darkening and strengthening his outline, making her see exactly what he wanted her to understand.

‘When did you do this?’ she asked.

As if it mattered. But it did matter.

‘I didn’t,’ he said. ‘Hade did. I set him on the task when we were out.’

The visit to Marid, just as she had suspected, was intended to be the final sealing to prove what she was – to justify his decision before he brought her up here.

Turning to face her, he tucked his hands in his trouser pockets, giving him a business-like persona. And that’s what this was – business. This was the serryn hunter in action – no longer wielding a sword, but only because he didn’t need it.

‘This is quite the setting,’ she said, trying to steady her breathing. ‘Quite the backdrop.’ She couldn’t abide the silence when he didn’t answer. ‘Why have you brought me up here?’

‘Why do you think?’

Her fast-beating heart ached at the betrayal.

He frowned. ‘You look so shocked. What was
supposed
to happen next in the optimistic world of Leila McKay? I change my mind?’

‘You told me you cared. Those things you said. But they were just a get-out clause, weren’t they?’

And she’d been a fool to believe him.

‘Tell me I’m right – tell me you’re no different to all the others,’ she added, her throat dry, her hands trembling. ‘Tell me the whole reason for this segregation is right – that our species is right not to trust that you’ll ever do the right thing, because that would make all this so much easier for me.’

‘I am doing the right thing – for my kind. Take a look around, Leila. We’re the forgotten species – a trash heap that at some point your kind will decide to bury. I can’t let that happen.’

‘So you’ll kill me instead?’

‘As opposed to what? Turn my back on all this and let you go? And then what? Where are you going to go? There’s no way you and Alisha will be allowed to live in Midtown let alone Summerton. It’s Lowtown all the way now you’re feeders.’

‘I’m not a feeder.’

‘Those bite marks beg to differ. As will Alisha’s. That many won’t pass of as just an attack. You’re going to leave her behind are you? And how long do you think she’ll survive in Lowtown? How long before you start to put those inherent skills to good use? No, I’d have to keep you here. Keep watching you twenty-four/seven. Until one day you kill me. Kill Jake. It would just be a matter of time. Maybe when we’re sleeping. Or I could bite you in the depths of my sleep or in a moment of passion. My nature or yours, something would give in the end.’

‘You’ve really thought about this.’

‘Even if we moved beyond that, I’d destroy you eventually,’ he said. ‘My darkness would consume you too. And once the fascination passes, you would despise me for it. You would despise what I would make you become.’

‘I haven’t become anything, Caleb, except more myself. So don’t you dare patronise me. You told me you felt something and I believe you.’

‘Yes, because I’m hard-hearted, Leila, not cold-hearted. But this isn’t about us. This has never been about us. You’re taking this too personally. That’s not how it was meant to be.’

‘And you made love to all your serryn victims, did you? You couldn’t have made it any more personal.’

‘I never made you any promises. You know what I am. I’m not responsible for you wanting me to be what I’m not.’

Her heart skipped a beat as he circled around towards her, Leila unable to take her eyes off him.

If only she could numb her feelings as easily as the loss of sensation in her fingers and toes as she stood there. If only she could act with the same coldness that Caleb did – detach herself for her cause.

But she had to try whatever she could. Anything. ‘There are other ways.’

‘An abundance of ways, right?’

‘I told you. I warned you. The Tryan’s rise to power won’t just be the downfall of humans, Caleb; it’ll be the downfall of the vampires too. That’s what the prophecies dictate. That’s the secret those of the Higher Order keep to themselves. They’re arrogant enough to think they can find a way through it, just like you do.’

‘Nice tactic.’

‘It’s not a tactic – it’s the truth. I have lots of them stored away in my grandfather’s books. But only I can get access to them. Give me time. A week. Two weeks at most. I’ll find other ways, better ways. Those prophesies are nothing but destructive. You have to believe me.’

‘And why would I believe anything that comes out of that serryn mouth?’

‘Because I’m trying to save us all, Caleb,’ she said as she took a step closer, the truth cutting her deeper than she ever thought possible. ‘I know you can’t see it, but I am.’

His eyes narrowed a little. ‘Why?’

‘Because of you. Because of what I’ve seen in you. Because I do believe you can do the right thing. I know of the prophecies. I know things – things your kind don’t know. I know what a brutal killer the Tryan is. I know how selfish and cruel he is. I know the destruction he will bring. That’s not you, Caleb. I know why you pulled away in the shower. I know you’re scared of how I make you feel. I know you hate it. I believed you when you said you feel something for me and that’s what I’m appealing to now.’

‘And what does it matter? I’d still be living with my decision, amongst my decision, when you’re long gone. When I no longer have you close enough to remind me
why
I hesitated.’

Her throat burned dry as he closed the gap between them. His closeness made her stomach flip, the aroma of his aftershave mingled with the scent of smoke and alcohol. And she was back that first moment when she saw him – when he backed her against the sofa in the lounge. When she knew, somewhere deep, she wasn’t going to walk away from this the same person. ‘We’ll find a way.’

‘There is no way, Leila. Me and you – we’re not meant to be. We don’t get our happy ending. We’re not made that way.’ Pulling level, he gently brushed back her hair. ‘My mind’s made up. I cannot choose you. You’ve given me every reason to but it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. Part of me wishes it was. But this is about doing what’s right and to do what’s right, sacrifices need to be made. And if I don’t do this now, Feinith will walk back in here and take you from me anyway,’ he said. ‘This is going to end between us my way, not hers. I’m compassionate enough to do that. That’s what I owe you.’

‘Out of principle or because you care that much?’

He held her gaze for a moment, something behind his pensive eyes softening, but he didn’t answer her.

‘Has she told you to do it tonight?’ Leila persisted.

‘She doesn’t know about me.’

‘You expect me to believe that?’

‘It’s the truth.’

‘She’ll know when she finds me dead. Or both of us. That’s why you feel under pressure, isn’t it? Because of her?’

‘There’s no point delaying. It’s just drawing out the inevitable.’

‘Just admit she’s still pulling your strings.’

‘Once she did. Never again.’

‘Really? Well, I just wish you were as immune to her as you clearly are to me.’

‘There’s that jealousy again,’ he said. ‘You never quite learned to detach yourself, did you?’

‘Forget my humanity, you mean.’

‘
Human
ity is such a biased term.’

‘Not from where I’m standing.’

It started to rain again, pummelling on the glass roof, smashing against the walls, obscuring the view beyond.

For a fleeting moment she wondered if it would make any difference if she told him how she truly felt. If he would turn his back on it all, let her and her sisters go.

But if he had any intention of changing his mind, he’d be looking for every possible reason already – grappling with every option she had thrown at him.

‘You do this and you’re beyond redemption.’

His green eyes narrowed, burning deep into hers. ‘I’ve always been beyond redemption, Leila. I thought you would have accepted that by now.’

But he wasn’t. There was good in him. Somewhere deeply buried – somewhere that she had just started to uncover. Two days hadn’t been enough. The short time ahead of them before he acted might not have been enough, but she had to have one last try.

‘One more day, Caleb. You can postpone Feinith again. Give us just one more day.’

He wrapped his cool hand around hers. But instead of pulling her close, he led her down the steps towards the bed.

‘Caleb, I know you meant what you said. Don’t do this.’

He lifted one of the roses from the step before handing it to her. ‘I’ve always found it ironic that the very flower used most to symbolise love carries with it such a lethal warning. Tiny little teeth all lined up to make you bleed once you’ve been drawn in by the beauty of it. Not unlike serryns, I guess.’

She frowned as she met his gaze. ‘And then there are those roses that are so toxic, nothing can survive near them,’ she said. ‘Roses that kill anything that gets too close to their patch. Isn’t that right, Caleb?’

He almost smiled, cast the rose aside and led her down another step.

She could have fought, no matter how futile. But that’s exactly what it was – futile.

Especially when she had other options. An option that, never more than then, seemed inevitable.

This was the destiny she had fought. This was the destiny she had chosen to ignore. But destiny had chased, pursued and caught her with every single one of her claws. It wasn’t down to Caleb, it wasn’t down to Jake or Alisha; it wasn’t even down to Feinith arriving. Destiny would have found her some way or another – dragged her kicking and screaming from that dark corner she was hiding in just like that vampire had done years ago.

It didn’t matter if she wasn’t a serryn anymore. Destiny didn’t care about that. Destiny could cope with detours like losing her serrynity. Destiny might even have intended all along to create that detour along the way. Destiny, it appeared, wanted to prevent the vampire uprising as much as she did. And if destiny wanted that, then surely fate was on her side.

Losing her serrynity was her best chance of winning.

The Armun protected him only from the serryn in her. Gave him strength to combat her at the Brink. Without her serrynity, taking her to the Brink would kill him. He’d be drinking nothing but a regular witch – a witch without a soul strong enough for him to return with.

All she needed to do was consummate her love for him to guarantee her serrynity would be gone.

Fate had somehow given her a get-out clause – to kill him quietly and furtively, sacrificing herself in the process. Maybe that was fate’s plan all along.

She had an obligation, a duty: kill Caleb and save them all.

And she had no greater cause than his willingness to do exactly the same to her.