02. Empires of Flux and Anchor (18 page)

Spirit was as lovely as ever, but her breasts were obviously enlarged and below them was an extremely prominent and obvious bulge. She looked as if she'd swallowed the world's largest melon. And she looked very content and very happy. "Want to tell me how all this came about?" Suzl shrugged. "It just . . . happened, that's all."

"But you're old enough to be her mother. Father, anyway," she said, repeating her lame argument that had not worked on Mervyn.

Suzl grinned. "Yeah, I'm the same age as you, but I don't look it or feel it like you do. Come on—you know the age isn't bothering you, nor even who I am. It's
what
I am that disturbs you. Some of my best friends are freaks, but I don't like my daughter marrying one."

She started to reply, then closed her mouth, wondering if Suzl had given the comments to Mervyn or if it had been the other way around. Nevertheless, what Suzl said was still true, but she had felt forced to say it, and although she felt a little ashamed of herself, it didn't change the gut feeling of wrongness inside her, however much her vows kept her from acting on the prejudice. "All right," she said finally, "I accept that. But—do you two really love each other?"

"You can't know how much," Suzl replied, and Kasdi was both surprised and shocked to see Spirit nod and smile.

"Can she understand me now?"

"Not in the sense you and I can. Actually, not you at all, except through me. We can't talk, but we know each other better than any two people I ever heard of. Call it reading emotions or feelings or whatever, but it's got most conversation beat to Hell, I'll tell you that."

"But—what about you? Particularly in Anchor. How do they react?"

Suzl grinned. "More shocked than with any dugger I ever saw, of course. But I love it, and you know the rules. You wrote 'em. If it's the result of an involuntary spell, standards can't be applied against a Fluxer in Anchor. Not your Anchors, anyway. I actually went into a temple a while back and registered myself. I am now, legally and officially, an Anchor-born male with Flux spells and dispensation. It drove the bureaucrats nuts, but they couldn't deny the sex. I can wear clothes again, if I could ever find a fit, but I won't because Spirit doesn't want it." She paused for a moment, growing serious. "You're very upset. Am I really such a shock to you?"

She looked at the dugger and had to nod sadly.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Suzl. May Heaven forgive me, but I have to be honest, particularly with you."

"Well, this body's no fun to travel with, but it
is
the most excessive in a small area I think possible. I didn't ask for any of it. I was born short, and when my body was adjusted to carry all this, I wound up even shorter. Eighteen years of different wizards with crazy ideas and a lot of power did this to me, and if you'd stayed a dugger in Flux all those years without any Flux power, you would have wound up at least as different. What I couldn't handle, though, up here in the brain, was fixed by wizards. I don't care if I'm a monster to you, or to all of World. I'm not a monster to Spirit, or to myself, and that's all that counts. Don't you pity her or me. We pity you and your prejudices.

"All this time I've been playing at being a woman when actually I'm a man. I'm a man with a magically deformed body. All I wanted was two things— to forget the play acting and say, 'Here I am; take me as I really am,' and somebody who'd totally ignore what I looked like on the outside and see me as a human being and nothing else. Well, finally I got it all, and there's nothing more I want. I love her, Cass, more than you know, and she loves me the same despite what you see."

Kasdi was touched by Suzl's frankness and sincerity, and it was clear just by the way Spirit looked at her and stroked her body that it was in fact mutual. She would have to accept it, she knew, no matter what her inner feelings and prejudices. But she knew Suzl well, and she wondered how long all this would last.

"Suzl—this will sound funny, all things considered, and I know your feelings about religion, but—are you sincere enough in this to marry her in a binding spell in Flux?"

"In a minute," came the unhesitating response.

Kasdi thought a minute. "But how can Spirit take the vows? Or even understand them?"

"She will. If
you're
big enough, we'll do it right here and now with you performing the service. Spirit understands and goes along."

Kasdi looked at Spirit and got the odd feeling that she
did
understand all this.

"All right, then. Join hands and come forward."

The service was simple, the spell voluntary but binding. It was actually less a spell than a locking in of what was already there, and what was there was more than in ninety percent of all marriages. Spirit could not follow the service, but she accepted the spell in the same way Suzl did.

Something stirred, coming from none of the three humans. Kasdi saw and felt it, and was somewhat startled by it. The binding spell merged with the odd linking spell, absolutely freezing their emotional bond at the level it then was, which was high indeed. They would never separate of their own accord as long as they both lived.

They embraced and kissed passionately, and it was done and official.

Mervyn arrived and seemed satisfied at this resolution. He had been very nervous of Kasdi up to the bitter end.

Kasdi remained with them a while, ashamed of her own prejudices, but she knew she had to get back shortly. No one even knew where she was at this point. She explained the situation to Suzl, who nodded.

"We must be leaving, too."

Kasdi looked at Spirit. "What? Now?"

"I've given them a wedding present," Mervyn told her. "It's a small new Fluxland not on any maps, and only Spirit can see the string that leads there. I'll show you where it is, but nobody can pass the shield except Spirit, Suzl, and those whom they allow. Yet it's within your cluster and within easy reach of any of us. It's a tropical garden, with some pretty lakes and waterfalls and lots of harmless wildlife. Though not very large, about ten kilometers by ten, it will support them without need for magic or fear. It's a refuge, a home. Spirit could not create it, but Suzl was able to tell me what they both wished, and so I created it and gave it to them. Spirit most certainly
can
maintain it, and that shield is total self-protection. A few of my people, centaurs and mermaids mostly, will be there to help them with any problems, and may stay if these two wish it."

"I can ride a horse again," Suzl added, "and it's only three days. We want the child born there. It's in Flux, so there's no real danger or pain."

"I was thinking about the journey. Maybe
you
can ride, but Spirit can't. And she's certainly in no condition to run."

"She's in great shape and she can make it. Just sure and easy. Don't worry so much. You're going to be a grandma."

Suzl appreciated the special saddle that allowed her to ride normally once more. Spirit knew where they were going, somehow—she always knew, it seemed—and led them back to the main string. She was using her Flux power to compensate for her off-balance condition, but kept a steady walking pace.

Spirit was feeling wonderful these days. Suzl was her rock and link to humanity. She knew, too, that Suzl was at last at peace with herself, and that was wonderful. The dugger's bizarre and sexually provocative appearance was somehow wonderful, too. She was unique and different, as Spirit was unique and different. She loved every bit of Suzl, particularly that restored and strong self beneath that odd exterior. She felt Suzl's love and devotion and, yes, strength, and returned it in full measure. They would not just have a child; they would have a lot of children. The new life beginning inside her excited and thrilled her.

Suzl had wondered, and continued to wonder, what the child would look like. Would the genetics be Dar's, or those of her old self, or the way she was now? Mervyn had said that if it had been in Anchor the genes would be Dar's, but in Flux it could be any way at all.

They turned off the main string which was leading them to Anchor and headed directly for their new haven. Although neither realized it, within half a day they approached the huge caldera that was the Hellgate itself. Once Spirit saw it, though, she felt curiously drawn to it. Suzl, in all her years in Flux, and never seen one, so they let curiosity get the better of them.

At one point along the huge, concave dish-shaped depression there was a metal ladder. Suzl, with her short arms and prominences, did not like the idea of climbing down that ladder, and even less did she like the idea of a pregnant Spirit descending it, but Spirit was adamant and so she had no choice.

In the center was a smaller hole, with another ladder going down. Suzl feared the Guardians, fierce creatures none had ever lived to tell about, who blocked this way into the gates, but she also knew from Cass's experiences that, when you were with a Soul Rider, the guardians let you pass.

The ladder this time was very short, and when Spirit reached bottom, the whole section of tunnel glowed. Suzl could only follow and worry. As they walked, the glowing section in back of them would fade out and the one ahead would glow. Finally they reached the end of the tunnel, where they saw a whirling vortex of pure energy spiraling not inward but outward and then, to Suzl's eyes, vanishing in the tunnel. To one side was a large console with a tremendous number of buttons and controls that softly hummed.

Spirit went right up to the vortex, and Suzl feared that she would try and step inside, but she stopped just in front of it. Spirit alone saw and felt the vast amount of energy coming from that whirling fury. She saw it, felt it, and let it soak into her. Suddenly she turned and seemed, even to Suzl, to be even more beautiful, even more alluring than ever, and she was somehow glowing.

Make love to me. Now. Here. With all your passion.

All thoughts but that vanished from Suzl's mind. She felt the roaring energy now, but had no thoughts, only emotions.

All that binds me, I keep. All that I have to give I give to you, freely, now and forever. Together only we are one, indivisible.

It went on for hours and hours, until both passed out.

Suzl awoke first, sat up, and shook her head. She remembered what had happened, and where, but she could not understand why. Her first fear was for the baby, and she looked around and saw Spirit sleeping soundly on the floor of the tunnel, looking apparently unhurt. But Suzl also saw more, things she had never seen before.

Something had been done to them; something had been radically changed, and it required thought. Suzl could see the complex lines of force linking herself with Spirit and could see the massive rush of energy emerging from the vortex outward and into the very wall of the tunnel. She knew she was seeing what wizards could see, but she saw more than they usually did. Although few had ever been inside a Hellgate and even fewer had survived to tell about it, she knew the general layout. What she hadn't expected to see were four outlets arranged around the vortex between the machine and the swirl itself, one on each wall and one on the ceiling and another on the floor, each forming a unique pattern of its own. It was, she thought, something like a children's connect-the-dots puzzle. You just stood there and traced the proper pattern and . . . what? The thing opened, and it took you to Anchor.

She frowned. This was all new to her, and although she'd heard Cass tell the tale of her own entry, it had never been this clear or this obvious. She was lousy in math and had nearly flunked geometry, but she had instantly recognized and grasped the purposes of the four outlets through which the power flowed. Flowed, in fact, into the temple basements, where it was tapped and stepped down and converted into usable electricity for each of the capitals.

The machine was another story. Always the conventional wisdom and the teaching of the Church had said that those machines sealed the Hellgates to prevent the return of the evil ones—but it wasn't so. It was, in fact, obviously the vortex that prevented it. The free energy was far too violently agitated to permit any sort of passage. It would instantly atomize anything solid and scramble any energy pattern. The key to unlocking the gate, if in fact it
was
a gate and there
was
another side, was just as obviously not a combination of button and switch pushing on the machines, but something far more complex, something having to do with the vortex itself.

Part of the machine's job was to tame and route the energy that flowed from the vortex as an escape valve for its own situation, but that was only part of it. The machine blocked and directed the energy flow, but the four waveform groups were each rearranged into a complex pattern, probably the most complex type of pattern possible. And yet—each pattern was only superficially similar. Each was also unique.

With growing wonder, she thought she had the answer. Anchors were not distinct from Flux; they were a part of it. Just as wizards created Fluxlands out of their own minds, so the four Anchors were created by the builders of the machine and were stabilized by it. She thought of the fear most Anchor folk had of Flux and Fluxers and of the terrible prejudice they had shown her, and she had to chuckle. They and their world were as much a Fluxland as, say, Pericles—only, since they were fully determined by machine, the Anchors were unvarying and rock-stable.

All this was new to World's knowledge, as far as she knew, and yet it seemed so
obvious
to her, totally new and untrained. Obvious . . .

She directed her new sense inwardly and saw the tangled mass of spells that had been heaped upon her, starting with that idiot curse. The intricacies had baffled the best wizards, including Mervyn, but they were perfectly clear to her. She formulated a complex series of strung-together counters and sent them down, and watched the patterns neutralize, dissolve, and vanish. As she did, she felt a little dizzy and shook her head. When it passed, she looked down at herself again.