0215543001348293036 vaughn piper oshea m.j. (16 page)

[102]

one small thing

“Go on. I’m just gonna talk to him before he wakes up the whole building.”

He nodded and stood. I waited until he’d disappeared down the hall before I went over to the front door. Gary was still banging on the wood, and dust from the plaster walls was raining down from the force of his blows. He could probably break it open, but I wasn’t about to wait around for that. As soon as there was a lull in his violent assault on the door, I unlocked it and pulled it open.

The expression on his face when he saw me was almost comical.

“
You
.”

Once again, that strange clarity came over me. My heart kept pumping steadily, and I didn’t feel any of the panic or fear that usually overtook me whenever I was in a situation I couldn’t control. I lifted my chin. “You should go. The cops are going to be here any minute.” It was a bald-faced lie, of course. But even if it hadn’t been, Gary didn’t seem to care. He leaned toward me, using his substantial height to try to drive me back. His face was blotchy, and he smelled so strongly of alcohol his stench made my eyes sting. I held my ground like the last time. I wasn’t about to let him intimidate me, and there was no way he was getting into the apartment without a fight, not with Dusty and Alice inside.

“Get the fuck out of the way,” Gary growled, putting his face right up in mine. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“You’re going to leave now,” I said calmly. “And you’re not going to bother Dusty again.”

“Is that so?” Gary scoffed. “What the hell are you gonna do to make me?”

I didn’t bother to answer, just folded my arms across my chest and stared up at him in silence. The lack of response seemed to infuriate him. He tried to shove past me, and though he was taller and probably outweighed me by a good thirty or forty pounds, his drunkenness was a disadvantage.

Without really thinking about it, I grabbed one of his wrists and yanked him toward me. At the same time, my left leg moved in a side sweep. I hooked his ankle and used the momentum of his fall to twist

[103]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

his arm behind his back. Gary crashed to the floor, and I planted a knee against the base of his spine to keep him down.

“This is what I’ll do to make you,” I told him.

He cursed and writhed beneath me. “Get off me.” I applied some more pressure with my knee and twisted his arm even further. In the position we were in, I could dislocate it, maybe even break it. I’d never used what I’d learned in karate to hurt anyone, but right then I was ready and willing to inflict some pain on him.

Gary cried out and went still.

“I’m going to let you up, and you’re going to walk out of this building, and you’re never gonna come back.”

“Fuck. You.”

I tightened my grip on his arm and repeated what I’d said before.

“Understood?” I asked when he didn’t reply right away.

“Yeah. Just get off me.”

I held on for another moment to make sure he wasn’t going to try anything. When he stayed still beneath me, I released his arm and stood.

Gary tucked the arm I’d been holding close to his chest. I watched dispassionately as he reached up with the other and grabbed onto the doorframe so he could pull himself to his feet. His mouth was tight and, if possible, he looked even angrier than before. But I could tell he was embarrassed too, and that feeling seemed to trump his anger. He turned without meeting my eyes or saying anything else and stalked off down the hallway.

Once I had the door closed and locked behind him, I let out a shaky breath and tried to still the sudden trembling in my hands. I’d done it again. Surprised myself. Faced him down and kept the panic at bay. I never knew I had it in me to be brave. I smiled to myself. It felt good.

“That was amazing,” a voice said from behind me.

I started, and my hand flew to my chest. My heart, which had stayed calm through the entire confrontation with Gary, was suddenly

[104]

one small thing

beating a mile a minute. I glanced over my shoulder and spotted Dusty standing in the shadows of the hallway.

“Alice is still asleep.” Dusty stepped into the light that spilled from the kitchen and fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt. “You don’t think he’ll come back, do you?”

“I don’t think so.”

Dusty rubbed a shaky hand over his face and sighed. “Will you stay with me for a while?”

“Of c-course. Want me to put a movie on or something?” Dusty nodded. “Sure, I’m just gonna grab a water. You want anything?”

“Water would be good.”

While Dusty was in the kitchen, I grabbed a random DVD from the pile on Rue’s entertainment center and set it inside the player. The title read
Queer as Folk
. I’d never heard of it before, but Rue didn’t have any sci-fi, and I didn’t particularly care what we watched so long as it broke the silence.

Dusty came back into the room and set a couple of bottles of water on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. His eyes were still a little swollen, but I was glad the tears had stopped. I couldn’t blame him for being upset, but I hated to see him so sad and scared. I hoped Gary would stay away for good this time.

As soon I settled down next to him, Dusty slid closer and pressed against my side. “Is this okay?” he asked, lifting his face to mine.

“Sure.”

Dusty rested his head on my chest. Not wanting my arm to be trapped between us, I wrapped it around his shoulders. The movement allowed him to snuggle even closer, but I didn’t mind. Whatever awkwardness had been there when I held him the last time had mostly faded. I wasn’t sure what it was about Dusty that made me feel so at ease around him, but I found myself kind of enjoying the warmth of his body next to mine.

“What was that move you used on Gary?”

[105]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

I shrugged as much as our positions allowed. “Just something I learned back when I was in karate.”

“I didn’t know you were so strong,” Dusty murmured.

I felt my face heat. “I’m not, really. He was drunk, and I was quick.”

Dusty curled an arm around my waist and hugged me briefly.

“You are strong, hon. You protected me. Us. I don’t know what I would have done if it had just been me and Alice by ourselves tonight.” I rubbed his shoulder and squeezed him a little. “I’m h-here any time you need me.”

Dusty lifted his head. His dark eyes met mine, and there was something in his expression I couldn’t read. A sort of softness I’d never seen before. “I know.”

We stared at each other for few seconds, and it seemed as if Dusty expected something from me. I had no idea what. Luckily, a sound from the TV drew his attention, and he finally looked away. I turned to look as well, grateful that the awkward moment had passed.

Whatever I’d been expecting, it wasn’t half-naked men in cowboy hats dancing in front of some multi-colored, psychedelic background. I felt my eyebrows knit together. “Wh-what is this?”

“
Queer as Folk
,” Dusty said with a laugh. “I thought you put it on.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Shh. Just watch. It’s good.”

I wasn’t sure about the show at all, but Dusty sounded happy for the first time since he’d come to my apartment earlier. I didn’t want to spoil it. So I shut my mouth and watched.

I WASN’T aware I’d fallen asleep until a sudden noise jerked me awake. My eyes popped open, and I spotted Rue standing in the doorway. At the sight of him a million butterflies burst to life in my stomach, but the nervous fluttering transformed into tension when I noticed the expression on his face. He was staring at me and Dusty, and

[106]

one small thing

he looked annoyed. More than annoyed. Before I could say anything, Rue made a strangled sound and took off down the hall to his bedroom.

When his door slammed shut, I glanced down at Dusty in confusion.

“Why is he mad?” I asked. “D-did I do something?” Dusty shook his head, a little sadly from what I could tell. “No, hon. You didn’t do anything.”

I worried at my lower lip with my teeth for a second. “Should I…

should I go talk to him?”

Dusty pulled away from me and stood. “Just go on home, hon. I’ll talk to him.”

My forehead wrinkled as I watched Dusty walk away. What had happened? I didn’t understand any of it. All I knew was I didn’t like the idea of Rue being mad at me. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted to be the one to
make
him happy. I’d been thinking about it a lot lately. The fantasies I’d been having weren’t just about sex. I dreamed of holding him, kissing him, lying together and watching a movie, the way I had with Dusty. But I had no idea if Rue wanted that with me too.

The temptation to go try to talk to him was strong, even in spite of what Dusty had said. What held me back was that I had no clue what I would even say. Rue talked and laughed and seemed to enjoy spending time with me, but I couldn’t tell if there was anything more to it than that. We were friends, and maybe I was the only one who wanted it to be more. Not that I knew the first thing about being in a relationship with someone. I supposed it was better to keep quiet about it and spare myself the potential humiliation.

Feeling lost, I shut off the TV and reluctantly left Rue’s apartment.

[107]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

Chapter 8

Rue

IT HAD been nearly a month since that night when I came home and found Erik and Dusty and had the biggest ridiculous queen tantrum ever. God, I was an idiot. I wished that night had never happened, and after I heard Dusty’s explanation of the events I felt even dumber. It didn’t matter anyway. Regardless of how I felt, Erik had been right to comfort Dusty, and Dusty had every right to have feelings for Erik.

They were both single, and neither of them belonged to anyone. I wanted Erik to belong to me, though… at least I thought I did. Most of the time. I wasn’t used to feeling so
awkward
, so unsure of myself. I hated it.

The main problem was I still didn’t know how to act around Erik, or Dusty for that matter. I liked Erik. I did. More than I was ready to admit to, but I knew the feelings were there, waiting for me to grow up enough to own to them. I’d never wanted someone before. Not someone like Erik, and not as much as I wanted Erik. What was I supposed to do? I’d usually strut around in my tightest pair of jeans and flirt my ass off (or my pants off in some cases). Would that work with him? I didn’t really want it to. I wanted Erik to want me because he liked me, not because I looked hot in a pair of tight pants or nothing at all.

I felt
wretched
.

[108]

one small thing

I was getting ready for class, drying my hair as perfectly as I could, because whether they’d admit it or not we were judged by how we looked, and I needed the best recommendation I could get. I didn’t care as much as I should, as much as I usually did. It sucked.

WHEN I got to class, Dusty gave me an awkward smile. We were okay. He knew I was sorry. I’d apologized, but things were still weird.

Our classroom was filled with pink paper hearts and streamers from some giggly girl who thought it would be fun to decorate the week before. I was tired of looking at them. It made me kinda gaggy because all I could do was think of Erik and Dusty. Together. I hated that I couldn’t just be happy for my friend.

“Hey, Dust. How was your night last night?” It had been Monday, one of my non-club nights. He usually came over to hang out anyway, but hadn’t been for a while. Not since that night. I wanted our normal friendship back. I really did.

“It was quiet. I watched a movie. Ate some macaroni and cheese.”

“
Dusty
, the carbs….” I didn’t even think before I said it.

Dusty chuckled. “That felt more normal. Rue, this sucks. You’re not mad at me still, are you?”

“
No
. Not at all. I’m the one who acted like a moron. You have every right to be with whoever you want.”
Except Erik. You touch him
and I’ll stab you with my trimming shears.
I choked a little. I didn’t really mean that. Did I?

“Rues. Seriously… Erik? I do have a crush on him, but you have nothing to worry about if you want him. He’s not into me. At all.”

“What do you mean?”

Dusty shook his head and gave me a sad smile. “Do you have any idea how he’s been looking at you for
weeks
?”

[109]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

“No.” I was usually so good at telling when a man was interested in me. At least physically. With Erik, I really couldn’t tell, and I hated it. Hated.