0215543001348293036 vaughn piper oshea m.j. (8 page)

“
Star Wars
? With a baby?” I choked a little. I supposed it wasn’t the worst thing ever, but hadn’t he heard of
Sesame Street
? Was
Sesame Street
even on anymore? I had no idea.

“She likes it. The first half an hour put her right to sleep.”
I suppose it’s better than getting some disease at the E. coli motel
for babies.
I’d do anything to keep her out of that place, even subject her to the evil machinations of Emperor Palpati—
oh, seriously. I’m
gonna kill Dusty. I should not know that.

“Did you give her the formula I left?” I swore I could hear him smile over the phone. I was annoyed… probably because I was worried for my baby and hated (already) leaving her all day.

“Yeah, she’s fed and changed and sleeping like a sweet little doll.” I could hear a hint of tension in his voice and had to smile myself. I guessed she hadn’t been sleeping like a little doll earlier.

Hehe.
I knew exactly how that was.

“Okay, well I can get out a bit early today. I’m going to bring my friend Dusty over to meet you. He’s going to watch Alice on the nights I have to work. I thought it might be good if you two were acquainted.”

“Dusty?” There was a distinct hint of panic in his voice. Oh, yeah.

Someone new. Probably not his favorite thing.

“He’s my best friend. You’ll like him. I promise.” Of course I had no idea if Erik would like Dusty, or the other way around, but I was ready to promise anything to keep Alice in a safe (if somewhat strange) environment.

[45]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

I hung up after telling him I’d be at his place with Dusty closer to four, instead of our prearranged time of four thirty, and walked back into the classroom feeling a bit bemused. It was probably a good thing my afternoon class that day was light. Mostly just watching and listening. The practical that morning hadn’t been hard, exactly, but it had been exhausting. Try doing something, even something you’re good at and have done a million times, with an audience in your face, marking things on clipboards and making “hmmmm” noises every time you do
anything
. Yeah, it sucks. I tried to ignore them and make my client look as amazing as possible. I guessed I would see if they liked my efforts in a few days when I got my results.

In our afternoon class, I whispered to Dusty that he was going to come home with me and meet my odd duck of a neighbor so they could get to know each other and coordinate schedules on the days they would be passing Alice back and forth. I felt horrible that I couldn’t be at home every night with my baby girl, but until I was actually getting paid to do hair (instead of paying to have someone tell me all the ways I did it wrong), that could never be a reality. At least it was months and not years before I graduated and found a job somewhere…
anywhere
other than Wilmington—West Coast preferable. Until then it was Erik and his imaginary Jedi friends during the day, and Dusty and his kooky alternakid coffee house coworkers at night. My poor daughter.

I can only imagine the psychological damage that will have been
done by then….

After class, Dusty and I piled into his car to head for my apartment. I was very grateful that Monday was one of the nights the Tom Tom Club was closed. I’d get to spend it with Alice, talk to Erik a little, make sure everything was indeed going well and he wasn’t just putting up a brave front over the phone.

“You cool over there, Underoo?” Dusty nudged my leg. I’d had my head leaned back against the headrest. I was exhausted but still on edge and trying desperately not to stress. It was a short drive to my place. Alice was probably fine, and the next ten minutes or so wasn’t going to change anything in the big scheme of things.

[46]

one small thing

“Yeah, I’m cool. I just get worried about Alice, you know?” I couldn’t help but notice Dusty’s grin.

“That’s really cute.” He chuckled under his breath.

“Shut up.”

“No, it is. I’ve never seen you care about anything this much. It’s nice to know you can.”

I was a little hurt by that. “What are you trying to say? I care about you, Dust.” It’s not like I was a glacier or anything.

“I know, babe. It’s just, you can’t see your face when you talk about her. You’re so in love already.”

I sighed. It was pointless to deny it. “I know. I am.”

“You wouldn’t have left her with Erik if he didn’t seem trustworthy. He might be kinda odd, but I’m sure he’s got a good heart.”

Yeah, I thought so too, but I wanted to see what Dusty thought of him. “I’ll let you decide. You know you’re better at judging people than I am—well, except for Gary. I have no idea what you see in him.” I so hated his boyfriend. I’d expected them to break up months ago.

“
Rue
….”

“I know. Sorry.”

I wasn’t. At least I was doing my part to keep Dusty occupied and away from Gary as much as possible. He was going to be watching Alice on the weekend nights when I was at the club. Luckily Gary had already made it clear he wasn’t into baby duty, and Dusty could do it on his own at my place. Thank effing God. I was hoping Gary would get sick of Dusty not paying attention to him and they would break up.

I wasn’t meddling. Much. It really would be better for Dusty in the long run to get rid of the asshole.

I KNOCKED on Erik’s door tentatively. Dusty was hovering at my shoulder, looking intensely curious.

[47]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

“He gets nervous around new people, so be nice,” I whispered. “I don’t want him to decide he doesn’t want to deal with us anymore.” Dusty smiled innocently. “Best behavior, boss. I promise.” He gave me a mock salute that told me he was full of shit. Fantastic.

The door cracked open, and Erik popped his head out. “Hey, Rue.

Here for the baby?” I nodded. He looked strangely relaxed, and his eyes were a bit heavy. He’d better not have been smoking something with my baby in his apartment. I sniffed the air for the telltale scent of weed, but there was nothing.

“We were just watching
Return of the Jedi
.”

“You watched all three today?” I was a bit incredulous.

“Only the first two.
Jedi
just started.” Erik led us into the apartment. Alice was lying happily in her rocker at the foot of the couch. She hadn’t started to reach for the little dangling toys yet, but I thought she was looking at them with interest. It was kind of hard to tell. “She slept for a while this afternoon so I was able to get some of my writing done.” Erik rubbed at the tip of Alice’s nose like I always did. Dusty poked me on the side.

“Oh, Erik, this is my friend Dusty. He’ll be watching Alice nights when I have to work.”

Erik smiled, and his smile was pretty cute below those crazy ass eyebrows and the big mop of floppy brown waves. He stuck his hand out to Dusty, who put his own hand out to shake.

“Nice to m-meet you, Dusty,” Erik said politely. I could tell he was uncomfortable, but he was hiding it well. Trying, at least.

“So, would it be okay if he just came over here and picked her up on the days when I’ve gotta go straight to the bar?” I went over and picked up Alice from her little rocker. She snuggled against me. “On Tuesday and Thursday I can get her myself, but on Wednesday and Friday I open the club up, and I won’t be able to make it home at all.” Erik nodded. “That’s fine. I should probably have Dusty’s phone number too.”

[48]

one small thing

“It’s on that list I gave you. Anyway….” I was tired, smelled like hair products, and was dying for a shower. It was time to gather Alice’s stuff up and go. “Can I leave the formula and stuff here and just take her rocker?”

“Yes. I can find p-places for it to go tonight.” I wondered how long that would take. I had the feeling “finding a place” was a long and detailed process. Whatever made him happy.

I patted Alice on the back. “Dust, would you mind grabbing her rocker?” Dusty picked up Alice’s little rocker and we said our good nights to Erik. “See you in the morning,” I called quietly from the hallway.

“He’s kinda cute,” Dusty whispered once we were in the hall. It wasn’t the quietest whisper. I elbowed him as hard as I could without jostling Alice.

“He’s weird.”

“But really nice. And those
eyes
….” Dusty made a sighing noise.

Seriously?
Dusty seemed to catch himself in his half swoon. “I shouldn’t be checking other guys out. Gary.”
Ooh, maybe I should encourage this.
“You’re human, Dust.

You’re allowed to look.” He gave me a worried face. “Is this something we need to talk about?”

“No. I know you hate Gary. No matter what I say, you’ll make it sound really bad.”

I sighed and ruffled his hair. Then I leaned forward and gave him an uncharacteristic kiss on the cheek.

“Love ya, Dust. I just worry.”

“I know. I love you too. See you in the morning?” I nodded and watched him walk down the stairs until he disappeared from view.

Me and my little daughter sat on the black leather couch I’d spent a ton of money on. She’d already thrown up on it twice. I guessed there was no surface sacred to her Olympic-level upchuck reflexes. I petted

[49]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

the little halo of black fuzz she was starting to sprout straight up from her head before I kissed her little cheek, just like I’d done with Dusty.

“Did you like Erik, love?” I murmured. She burped and made a little snorting noise before closing her eyes. “I guess that’s a yes.” I smiled and stood gingerly, not wanting to get her all stirred up again. I could already see changes, or at least it seemed like I could—her hair had grown a bit, she seemed to be getting longer and more formed every day, turning into a real little person instead of a red-faced raisin.

She was going to grow so fast in the next few months. I was excited to see how she would change but, at the same time, terrified I’d miss too much of it. I laid her into her bassinet and drew up her favorite fuzzy blanket.

“Night, Princess. Papa loves you,” I murmured.

Damn, Dusty was right. I was such a goner.

Erik

ALICE and I had settled into a routine of sorts. For the most part, she was sweet-tempered and mellow, except for the times when she wanted something and I couldn’t figure out what. Usually it was just the normal stuff—a diaper change, a bottle, a burping, or some gas drops—

but sometimes all she wanted was to be held. It surprised me how little I minded. Somehow, as the days went by, we’d gotten to be comfortable with one another.

I was walking around my apartment with Alice cradled against my chest. It felt natural to have her in my arms, to stop and point out each one of my numerous sci-fi action figures and give her a bit of their story, to stroll from room to room until we eventually ended up at the potted geraniums that sat on my kitchen counter. Alice seemed to like those best. I think it might have been the deep red color. I’d read it was one of the easiest for babies to see. Whatever it was, they were one of the few things she seemed to really focus on, and since the day was

[50]

one small thing

sunny and clear, it occurred to me she might enjoy a trip to the park to look at the flower gardens there.

I got her set up in the baby carrier I’d purchased a couple of weeks back, grabbed her diaper bag, and headed out into the warm fall afternoon. I didn’t leave the apartment all that often, but the first time I ventured out with her for coffee, it was such a pain getting her stroller down the stairs—not to mention all of the attention that pink-and-black monstrosity attracted when I was walking down the street—I’d come home and researched baby carriers and bought one that very same day.

The straps were a bit tricky at first, but once I had them figured out, getting the thing on and off was a breeze. Alice seemed to like it better than the stroller too. Within ten minutes of leaving the building, she’d already fallen asleep with her head lolling against my chest.

I went to the park anyway. Even if she wasn’t awake to see the flowers, we were already outside, and the fresh air would probably do her some good. No point in wasting the trip.

I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed when we reached the park and she was still asleep, but I didn’t have the heart to wake her. I wandered the trails, checking out the flowers on my own. They reminded me of my old garden and how much I used to love spending time in my backyard. But no one could bother me in my little fenced-in haven. At the park, people nodded hello, and the women who were walking with their babies in strollers looked at me curiously as they passed. There weren’t any other single men around with babies, and I could tell a few of the women wanted to approach me. Before they had the chance, I turned and started making my way back toward the street.

Being outside with Alice, I could handle. Chitchat with strangers was quite another story.

I TOOK her back to the park the next day. I still thought she would enjoy the flowers, and I knew there probably weren’t very many good days left before the first frost descended. This time she stayed awake. I walked the trails with her, stopping to point out the various types of

[51]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

flowers—golden chrysanthemums and deep purple asters, thick-stemmed sunflowers and bright pink cosmos. I picked one of the last and tucked it into one of the straps on the carrier, close to Alice’s face.

“There you go, baby girl. It’s almost as pretty as you.”