05. Children of Flux and Anchor (26 page)

The line of Flux arose so quickly and forcefully it took them all by surprise. "
I
know of your purpose here, and of Hell without. I know all. I am the beginning and the end."
The force enveloped her. He was powerful— incredibly powerful—and she found herself locked in a mental combat with him that she was hard-pressed to maintain.

"Why do you fight with me?" she managed to yell at him. "We are not your enemy!"

"Ido not fight with you, it is you who fight with me,"
the self-styled God of the Garden responded. "
I
am the Creator of the Universe! You must be purified in my garden!"

With a start, Spirit realized that she was not grappling with just one Fluxlord, but with more. How many more she couldn't quite determine, but it was why she couldn't get a focus on any one of them. A multiple Fluxlord that thought and acted as one. . . . Now she realized why the maps warned of this place, and the mistake they'd made in coming in. The visitors had been allowed to get well in, where physical escape was virtually impossible. She was strong, very strong, but there were
three
of them, she saw now, and together they were far stronger. Despite her best efforts, parts of the spells being forced at her began to get through. She felt herself changing, becoming physically a twin of the bright-eyed Eve still sitting there, smiling sweetly and watching it happen.

My name is Spirit, daughter of Cass and Matson. . . . My name is Spirit, daughter of Cass and Matson. . . . My name is Eve, daughter of Cass and. . . .

The assault on the other two had been as sudden and as strong, showing just what power was here. For Verdugo, it was over before he realized it, and he became another childlike Adam, having no defenses to even slow it. Morgaine, however, was a different story. Spirit was so strong that they could not also take on Morgaine, being content to merely freeze her into inaction. Were she her old self she could have easily broken it and taught these old farts a lesson, but, as it was, she could only use the time to think things out.

For Spirit, the battle was finally over. Physically, she had been made over into the exact image of the blond, blue-eyed women nearby; mentally, all memory had been blocked, all frames of reference lifted. She was Eve, daughter of God. There was no place but the Garden, which was all. She was without sin, or concept of sin, and right and wrong had no meaning. Terms and concepts which had no meaning were automatically purged from her memory, so there was no confusion. Gone was all curiosity, all desire for anything but a total acceptance of what was. There was no past, no future, no time at all except here and now for all eternity. She rejoiced in the beauty of perfection, and gave thanks to God who made her and all of it to enjoy forever. She desired no existence but this. All else had been blocked off, gone as if erased, for it was irrelevant.

Now it was Morgaine's turn, and she knew they were in for a shock. She could only wonder what the effect on them would be. Hers was not reality or some sorcerous spell, but a true binding spell, a complex machine-language program bound to a code she had created but did not know herself. If these Fluxlords really were so insane they really believed they were God, and it looked as if they did, then they would believe in their own omnipotence and absolute power. The spell had been so strong and effective, even on Spirit, because it was a stock spell. They would run it again on Morgaine, making the physical part the first part, and it would have no effect. They might be able to take over her mind, but there was a possibility they'd never get that far. In any event, they were about to be faced with something new.

Morgaine sat on the grass and waited for it. She felt sorry for Spirit, but she knew that all such spells in Flux were transitory types, as her grandfather had noted. Except for binding spells, which this certainly was not, anything done could be undone by somebody just as smart as the one who did it.

The attack on Morgaine began, and she instinctively and automatically resisted it, although her command of her power was far less than it would have been. The physical transformation spell slowly crept in, though, and tried to take hold . . . and would not. The force stalled, then tried it again, and again, and again, all to no avail. The spell seemed almost desperate now, but increasingly erratic. The crazed minds behind it were being faced with a logic loop that, according to their own lights, simply could not happen.

Thunder boomed, and lightning crashed, and clouds above swirled about the little lake, as the Fluxlords of the garden tried to understand what was happening. The attacks ceased, and she had some freedom of action. She'd been afraid for a moment that one would make the sacrifice and take upon himself her binding spell, but then she realized that it probably couldn't happen. They were collectively, not individually, stronger than she.

Suddenly a great booming male voice came from the heavens.
"Go!"
it ordered.
"You are too much of sin and evil to remain here! You are beyond redemption!"

"If you're truly all-powerful, the one true God, then make me look like Eve and I will leave! I won't even resist that much!" she almost taunted. "I will
not
leave without my mother and my companion!"

"You
dare
try to bargain with
me?
I
can sweep you out! I can crush you like a bug!"

She hadn't thought of
that
angle. Still, she had no choice but to persist.

"We came to offer our help without any hope of reward or any conditions because we believed you were just and good!" she shouted at them over the roar. "You repaid an act of kindness with an attack. You're not God! You can't even change my form! You are a demon of Hell, evil masquerading as good, madness as perfection! If you had any good, any decency, in you, you would at least accept that and let us all leave as we came! I
want
to leave! A God without love and compassion is no God at all, but the rankest of evil ones!"

She wondered as she said it if she'd gone too far, if there was nothing left of the people these Fluxlords once had been. Then, suddenly, everything—the wind, the thunder, the swirling clouds—suddenly ceased. It was a nice, bright, warm day again. The Adams and the Eves came out from the forests, sang praises to God, and began to play once more.

Morgaine didn't know what happened, but she looked around and saw neither her mother nor Verdugo. They had wandered off somewhere. She felt some despair at that realization. They were probably over there with the group, but how to tell them apart? Verdugo was probably lost, but wizards could usually tell other wizards because they always had some contact with Flux through the grid. Not here, though. Spirit no longer knew she was a wizard, or what a wizard was, and so had no connection with anything save physical reality and the master spell of the garden.

Had Morgaine had her full mathematical abilities, she could have run a seek program for Spirit; the master computers would always keep track of such things. She couldn't even finish counting the number of Eves in and around the lake without getting confused, though. Sondra or Dell could do it, but they'd be attacked if they entered, too. Never had she felt so frustrated, and tears welled up inside of her and then came out in a flood.

"Please!" she choked through the tears. "Please give me back my mother!"

There was no response, and for a moment she was afraid she'd blown their divine fuse.

"Morgaine?"

She whirled around, hoping against hope to see her mother, but instead she saw another blond, blue-eyed Eve. Or—was it? She wiped away the tears and got hold of herself. "How do you know my name?"

"It's me, honey. Your mother."

Her mouth dropped in surprise. "They—restored you?"

"They—made a compromise. A compromise between their reality and ours. They said your plight and your tears had touched them, and they had been stung by your words. They had beaten me. I couldn't fight them, even restored. They offered me a deal—for your sake. I had to take it. They said that if the daughter was bound by evil, then the mother must be bound by good. I'd been—purified, is the word they used."

Morgaine sighed. "I guess overconfidence runs in the family. Your powers?"

"Intact. At least I have that. But I had to accept remaining in Eve, for one thing. It's not a bad body."

"It's
gorgeous!
But everybody's wearing it these days."

"Look who's talking. I also had to accept certain—other things."

That disturbed Morgaine. "Like what?"

"They called it protection against the evils of the outside world. A shell of purity, I think they said. I know I can't lie, cheat, steal, or kill, not even a fly, or use my power in any way but to further good. My knowledge of what is good and what is evil aren't my standards, but theirs. I had to accept them. I have no frame of reference. Come—let's leave. The others must be worried about us."

Morgaine felt like crying again. "Oh, Mom!"

"Don't cry," responded Spirit gently. "It's not so bad. I haven't done much with my life since being freed of my old spells anyway. Maybe I needed this, or something like it, to shock me out of it. Come on."

"But nobody can live as a saint! Look what it did to Grandma!"

"We'll see. I'm not as saintly as Grandma was supposed to be."

Spirit offered her hand and helped Morgaine up. Her mother didn't have the strength in her arms she'd had before, but she managed. Almost instantly they were swept out, as if falling down a hole, and both landed outside the shield and fell to the ground. Their horses and packs were nearby. Spirit found Morgaine's new shoes and what little other things she usually wore and helped her get into them.

"I guess you'll have to re-tailor your clothes," Morgaine noted, the new Spirit being somewhat shorter and built differently.

"No. I can't wear anything I'm not wearing now. Not even jewelry or cosmetics or perfume. I—just
can't,
that's all. In that respect it's like the old days. I was very much like an Eve for many years." She stopped for a moment, then said, "Morgaine—I'm very sorry for the way I've been acting since you got your own spell. I, of all people, should have understood. I'm sorry if I caused you
any
unhappiness, and I'm particularly sorry that it took something like this to make me see the way things are."

"Oh, Mom! It's all right! I understand! Granddad says you make the best of what you are, rather than worry about what you were or might have been. I think he's right. We're still a team. A little sexy and real exhibitionists, but we're a team."

And they both hugged and held one another, and tears flowed from both of them. Finally, they were all cried out, and, curiously, both of them felt closer to each other than they had in many years.

Finally Spirit said, "You know—it's funny. I haven't cried since I was sixteen. Not when I was kidnapped, not when I was threatened and then bound by spell, not any time after. I think, maybe, I
can
cry now, and laugh, too. It's crazy. I don't know if it's me or the spell, but it's me now, I guess."

Morgaine knew, however, that the spell was only the catalyst. As her spell had freed her, to a degree, from a life she hated, so, too, Spirit's spell had freed her by restoring some of the humanity she'd lost along the way. She had been a childlike animal for decades, then suddenly she'd been restored as an adult and placed immediately in a role upon which the survival of World had depended. She had been forced to become an instant adult after long years of childlike dependency, and then also been forced to be a mother with a mission, a role she detested but could not abandon to others because she herself had been abandoned by
her
mother. Filled with Flux power and the responsibility to preserve the Haller records and projects, she had never had time to learn to be a normal human.

She still wasn't normal, and she still certainly could continue the Haller tradition at New Pericles if she wanted, but she could be human, now, too. Like Morgaine, she could blame it on the spell, even to herself and certainly to others.

Spirit had no trouble riding a horse, but could not abide the idea of a saddle on her bare behind. A blanket, mostly to protect the horse, was enough. She still could ride and very well, too. They sat on their horses and stared at the empty third. "I guess they kept Verdugo," Morgaine noted without a lot of regret.

"Somehow, I have it in my head that it was in your father's mind that it might happen that way," her mother replied. "I think, though, justice would have been better served if he'd been made an Eve."

10

ALONG CAME THE SPIDERS . . .

"Oh, this is just
great
!" Matson growled. "I start off with a strong group and I get two wizards and two naked beauties! You other two better watch out! You're next!"

"I've had my turn, thanks," Sondra replied.

"So had I," Spirit reminded her. "This, however, is much better than the first time. Full communication, use of tools, riding horses. . . .
Much
better."

"It's your own damned fault for being wizards," Matson responded, still irritated. "You get so much power you can't see your blind spots. Every one of you thinks you're one of the dozen—out of millions—who can escape some of the penalty for power. Eventually it gets you. Either it sticks you in a niche being something you don't want, or it turns you into something permanently you don't want to be. Either of you could have created your own binding spells to keep you as you were, but I never saw a wizard who'd do that voluntarily."

"You'd give up too much," Dell told him. "We're only tracking and keeping close to the raiders because of our ability to transform ourselves and get the big picture. One of the big advantages is that sometimes you might need to be somebody, or something, else."