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“I don’t think I have much choice.”

“Go get it over with.” Jonathan stood and
pulled Caleb up off the hay bale. “We’ll stay a while. Send up a
flare if you need us,” he said and grinned. They left the barn, but
Caleb stopped when he saw Rachael waiting by her car. “I’m going to
say goodbye. You guys go on.”

∞∞∞

“I can’t just lie here.” Arianna threw back
the quilt and paced the room slowly. “It’s not just about this
woman showing up,” she explained to her silent audience by the bed.
“He was angry with me before the party.” She leaned her head on the
window frame and sighed, “Maybe he doesn’t love me any–” Her head
snapped up as she squinted to focus on the dark driveway. She
watched in silent shock as Rachael wrapped her arms around Caleb’s
neck. “That’s it!” she yelled and tore across the room.

Rachael’s car was just leaving the drive when
Caleb turned straight into Arianna’s open palm airborne toward his
face. He seized her wrist an inch from his face and held it solidly
in the air.

“How could you!” she screamed, trying to pull
her wrist from his grasp. “You no good, two-timing bastard! And I’m
pregnant!”

He turned, expressionless and pulled her by
the wrist to the barn.

Jonathan and Aryl watched from the shadows of
the front porch.

“Well, they’ll either come out with rekindled
love or set on divorce,” Jonathan said grimly.

“If they both come out,” Aryl half-joked.

Caleb whirled her around and pointed to a
haystack. She sat, in shock at such rude treatment.

“How dare you put your hands on me,
Caleb!”

“Shut up, Ahna.” He glared at her. Her mouth
fell open and she struggled to get up. “Sit back down!” he
bellowed. She froze on the hay, stunned. He had never, no one had
ever, spoken to her this way. “Now, you are going to sit there with
your mouth shut and listen to what I have to say.” She opened her
mouth in protest, but he pointed a finger at her. “So help me God,
Ahna. Not until I’m done,” he commanded.

She closed her mouth, clearly uncomfortable
with subservience. He paced a bit while taking deep breaths,
testing her ability to sit quietly. Finally, he stood in front of
her, albeit out of swing’s reach; a precaution for the both of
them, he figured. “That was Rachael. I know what you’re probably
thinking, so I’m going to explain everything to you, although I’d
prefer not to. This is personal and hard to talk about. But I don’t
have much of a choice now. Rachael and I went together toward the
end of school. By the time we graduated, we were informally engaged
but none the less engaged.” Arianna’s blood was boiling, and it
took everything she had to sit still, hear about his old love, and
not claw his eyes out.

“I knew that my grandfather would leave his
farm to me when he died, and so we planned that we would eventually
get married and take over the farm. We had our lives laid out
before us. We got comfortable. Too comfortable. And she got
pregnant. We only told our mothers. We figured our fathers would
have killed us. They hastily began to plan a wedding, and the
engagement was made formal, announcement in the paper and
everything.

“A week before the wedding, we were having
dinner with both families, making final plans, and she suddenly
screamed.” He paused and Arianna could see for the first time how
hard the story was for him to recount. The pain was readable on his
face, and it bothered Arianna that he didn’t attempt to hide it
from her. But she felt a twinge of compassion. She knew firsthand
how big his heart was.

“They wouldn’t let me see her at the
hospital. Our fathers found out, and I thought for sure I was a
dead man. At the time, that was fine with me. If she were going to
die because of me, I felt I rightly should die, too.” Jealousy
overrode compassion and her nostrils flared. “However, she didn’t
die. But she did lose it. The baby. And the ability to ever . . .
it left her unable to ever have children.” He paused again, no
longer worried about interruptions as she was speechless.

“We didn’t end the engagement right away,” he
continued. “She got better, and we tried to just go on, but it ate
away at me. She thought it bothered me that she couldn’t have
children any longer, knowing I wanted a big family. What was really
bothering me was that I had caused this, and there was nothing I
could do to fix it. I was about to approach her with the idea of
adopting when she ended it with me. Just like that.

“My grandfather died, and the farm was left
to me. In spite of her tainted reputation, she went on with her
life and was courted by a much older man. I couldn’t stand to face
myself each day, so I sold the farm and left.”

He paused and looked to Arianna as if to give
permission to ask a question if she wanted to. For once in her
life, she had nothing to say.

“I received word the next year that she got
married. I wrote a letter to her, both congratulating and
apologizing to her. She wrote back to thank me and forgive me. We
wrote back and forth for a time. That’s the reason I ended up
staying in Georgia so long. I wanted to stay at the same hotel, so
I wouldn’t miss one of her letters.” He looked at her gaping mouth,
her raised eyebrows and spoke before she could come to any
conclusions.

“Not love letters, Ahna.” He blew out his
breath impatiently. “I needed to know that she would be all right
after what happened. After some letters, I knew she would be. The
last letter I got included a picture of her with a beautiful baby
they had adopted. She looked so happy. Come to find out, the man
she married was unable to have children, too. So, they eagerly
adopted. She told me tonight that the paperwork for their third
child was in process and that she was so happy,” he said and smiled
gratefully. “She realized that there are so many children who need
love. She actually said it was a blessing, what happened, because
now three children, who would have otherwise grown up in an
orphanage, have a loving home. And they want more.

“After her last letter, I forgave myself in
Georgia and decided to move on. When I looked up from my
self-loathing, I saw you and nothing else mattered.”

Arianna stared at the floor now, trying to
process everything.

“She wanted to see me tonight to make sure I
had forgiven myself and to show me how happy she was. I told her
about you and the baby. She was happy for me. She wanted to meet
you. I was the one who made excuses, grateful you stayed away.”

“Since you’re ashamed of me,” she squeaked on
the verge of tears.

“No. It had nothing to do with you. I know
that’s hard for you to comprehend, Ahna, but the world does not
revolve around you. I thought it would be very cruel to introduce
my very pregnant wife to her after what had happened. I can’t
imagine how that might sting, no matter how happy she is with her
life now.” He looked at her with the slightest bit of hope. “Can
you even begin to see how that might be uncomfortable for me? And
her?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “But earlier you–”

“Earlier had everything to do with you,” he
said bluntly, leaning against the support pole near her. “Between
Rachael and my father, I didn't want to come back here. I did it
for you. I knew you’d be better off here and so would the baby. But
I’ve been miserable, Ahna. Even though I left here like I did, I
still wanted a farm. If you remember correctly, I was searching for
farmland when I met you. It was obvious that you weren’t going to
settle for being a farmer’s wife, so we ended up in New York. And
then the world went to hell, and now I’m back home. Fishing. I
don’t like it, Ahna. It’s not what I want to be doing. I walk five
miles in the cold every morning to work my ass off all day, getting
pinched by lobsters and fighting seasickness and then come home to
work alongside my silent, resentful father for a few hours. And
when I come in, I have nothing but a pile of complaints from
you.”

He was growing angrier as he finally vented
his frustrations. “And I hear it from my mother, too. She works
herself into the ground, Ahna, and to add to that, you prance
around here like a queen summoning her servants.” Arianna sent him
a hurtful look, but she could hardly deny it. “My mother loves you,
Ahna, and she loves this baby. But there’s more that you could do
for yourself. You’re pregnant, not crippled. And you’re tiring
everyone around you.” She looked down shamefully and twisted the
hem of her skirt into knots. “Things are going to change around
here, Ahna. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk to you about this
at all because you had started coming around in the tenement when
you found out you were pregnant. You were more docile, domesticated
. . . and I loved it. You acted like you cared about what I was
going through. But, in becoming so comfortable here, you have
reverted back to full-on laziness while those around you are
working themselves to death.” Her head remained lowered, and he
stared at it.

“Do you understand what I’m saying, Ahna?” he
asked softly. A few tears slipped off her nose onto her lap, and
she nodded. He looked up to the rafters of the barn and sighed. He
hated to see her cry, especially when he made her do so. He
resisted the urge to embrace her, kiss away her tears, and whisper
things she loved to hear because he knew that no real change would
happen if he showed weakness now. He did, however, squat in front
of her and take her hands.

“Listen to me. These hands. They can do a lot
more around here. No one expects you to plow fields or scrub
floors. But you can help more. And you will.” She nodded numbly
with tear-filled eyes. “And see these?” He pinched a wad of fabric
from his thigh. “These are pants. And I wear them. You’re going to
start acting like a wife. My wife. It wouldn’t hurt if every now
and then, you acted like you gave a shit about me.”

“Oh, but I do, Caleb!” she insisted.

“Well, you have a hell of a way of showing
it.” He motioned for her to scoot over, and he joined her, still
holding her hand. “I know why you act like you do. I know you spend
most of your time behind a hard and selfish exterior scared to
death and still resentful of your father for not acting like a real
man and for pissing away your family’s life. But I also know that
you weren’t always like this. I talked to your family plenty while
I was trying to win you over. They told me what you used to be
like.” He was quiet for a moment as he chose his words carefully
and spoke, “I’ve seen glimpses of that, and I always hoped that, if
you felt safe enough, loved enough, you’d revert back to that.” The
next words were barely audible. “To be the kind of wife I’ve always
wanted.” His words stung and brought on more tears.

“The kind of wife she would have been for
you,” Arianna said when she could talk again. He remained silent.
She felt resentful toward Rachael, who was shorter than Caleb, soft
and quiet, blended in politely and blushed with any attention paid
to her; humble. What bothered her most were the glances she had
witnessed from her toward Caleb. No doubt there was still something
there. She still adored, if not loved, him. If not for a cruel
twist of fate, she would be his wife now, several children running
underfoot, and lovingly greeting Caleb as he came in from a long
day on his farm. Arianna seethed, boiled and hated. Rachael was the
standard Caleb held for a good wife. She is what he wanted
originally and what he likely thought about every time she let him
down. And then, quite suddenly, she decided she would not, under
any circumstance, be out done. She wouldn’t allow it. Not from this
pale-faced humble any more than from the most skilled and exotic
whores in Paris. She looked Caleb in the eye for the first time
since the fight began.

“I love you more,” she said with
conviction.

“It’s not a contest, Arianna. Rachael has
moved on and so have I. I don’t love her anymore,” he
reassured.

“I’ll show you.” She clenched his hands,
almost frantic. “I’ll show you every day. I love you more and I
will be the wife you want. I will, I promise.” Her eyes were
pleading and brimming with tears. “Please don’t leave me,” she
whispered. “Don’t stop loving me.” He sighed and gathered her in as
close as he could, her stomach intruding slightly.

“I’m not leaving you, Ahna. And stop loving
you? Never. I couldn’t.”

∞∞∞

“Impressive.” Victor leaned back in his
chair, shaking his head in disbelief. He stared hatefully at the
picture. “Posing as a journalist. Brilliant.” He pulled from his
drawer a thick roll of bills and tossed it across the desk. “Did
they let you on the boat?” he asked, even though he thought that
would be too much good luck in one sitting.

“Let me walk all over and ask questions. Even
poked around the sleeping berth.”

“And you’re sure of the address?”

“I was before he willingly gave it to me. I
can see why you’d be inclined to clear the path. She’s a looker,”
he said, slightly overstepping his bounds. Victor snorted. “I don’t
care about her. Not the way you’re thinking anyway.” He studied the
boat carefully. “What do you know of explosives?” Now armed with
the information he needed, Victor cultivated his plan with more
detail.

“Enough. What do you need?”

“Knowledge. I won’t be asking you to make any
further trips. You’ve provided me with more than I hoped for. I can
handle the rest. My vengeance runs long and deep. This is something
I must . . . want to do myself. But I will pay you handsomely for
the knowledge.”

“A little unorthodox, but all right, let me
know when, where.”

“Why wait? My house. Tonight.” He handed over
another wad of bills. “This should cover your time and
supplies.”

∞∞∞

That evening, Victor was high on evil
anticipation and he glided into the parlor, smiling for the first
time in weeks. He kissed Ruth on the cheek.