2. Come Be My Love (4 page)
Greg had started off in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, as though he were explaining the facts of a case to a jury. However, Brandi heard a hesitancy toward the end, as though a slight note of pain had colored the timbre of his voice, when he'd mentioned his proposal and her acceptance.
For the first time, Brandi recognized that this strong, self-assured, almost arrogant man also had a vulnerability to him that was almost as appealing to her as the lightheartedness that had peeked out at her earlier in the day—just before he'd shared a kiss with her. She was fairly sure that few people had seen this side of him, either.
Now that he was talking, Greg discovered that it wasn't going to be as easy to relive the past as he had first thought. He took a sip of his drink and wondered how he could change the subject without being too obvious.
"What happened?" Brandi asked softly. Greg heard compassion and caring in her voice. He was touched. She didn't know him very well, and yet she recognized that what he was telling her was difficult.
"WelI..." he said, pausing to clear his throat. "What I never realized during that time was that there was another man in her life—a man she'd grown up with who lived next door to her." He glanced over at Brandi. "Rather like you and Tim, from what you tell me." His gaze returned to the fire. "Only, in Penny's case, Brad had moved away and become a well-known television actor." He took a sip of his drink. "Have you ever heard of Brad Crawford?"
"Brad Crawford? You mean the hunk on Hope for Tomorrow!'' she asked in surprise.
"That's Brad, all right. I found out a week before our wedding that Brad was Penny's childhood sweetheart."
"Then there's no parallel between Tim and me, that's for sure," she said with a chuckle. "What happened? Did Penny call off the wedding?"
''No."
She watched him for a moment in silence. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Neither did I, at first. It took me a few days to recognize the fact that Penny really did think she loved me and that she wanted to marry me. She didn't seem to realize how bonded she and Brad truly were. After spending hours analyzing the situation, I finally had to face the fact that what Penny wanted from me was the settled, comfortable, non-threatening existence that I could provide for her."
"She was actually going to marry you, even though she was in love with someone else?"
"I don't think she understood her feelings toward Brad at the time. There was a lot of resentment and anger on her part. And yet—" he paused and absently ran his hand through his hair, mussing it in a way that Brandi found peculiarly attractive in this carefully ordered man "—it's tough to explain, but Penny came alive whenever Brad was around. She sparkled and glowed. He seemed to bring out all of her emotions, so that she practically vibrated with energy whenever he was around her."
He stood up and put another log on the fire. "Penny taught me so much. I had never felt so much love toward another person, not since I was a child. She brought my feelings to the surface, and I'll admit I was uncomfortable having to face them. But because she had taught me what love was all about, I recognized what was happening. I wasn't the man she needed to make her life complete. She was settling for less because she was afraid to reach out and grab what life was truly offering her."
"That must have been a very painful conclusion for you to come to."
He was surprised that she saw that so quickly. He nodded, unable for the moment to find the words to agree.
"You loved her. You loved her enough to understand that your loving her wasn't right for her. You loved her enough to let her go."
"I don't think I looked at it quite so unselfishly, I'm afraid. If I'd thought our relationship had a chance of working out, I'm sure I would have fought for what we had. But I knew it was only a question of time before Penny recognized what she had given up by not marrying Brad. I didn't want to stay around and watch her gradual disillusionment."
"So what happened? Did you call off the wedding?"
"I'm afraid I wasn't that honorable about it. I just didn't show up."
Brandi set her glass down abruptly and stared at Greg in shocked dismay. "What? You mean you let Penny show up at the church without telling her you'd changed your mind? How horrible!"
"Yes, Brad expressed similar sentiments to me the day before the wedding when I told him of my intentions."
She stared at the man sitting beside her, unable to comprehend anyone behaving in such a cold and callous manner. "Poor Penny."
"I was hoping you would give me a little credit for understanding human nature better than to think that Brad would allow her to be humiliated in front of everyone. By telling him my intentions ahead of time, I knew that I was giving him an opportunity to save the day. I deliberately made myself look like a heel. Otherwise, I was fairly sure that Penny would insist on going through with the marriage and ignoring how she felt toward Brad."
"But still-"
"I know. What I did was cowardly and reprehensible."
''And if you had it to do over again, you'd do it the same way."
"Yes."
"Because you didn't think you could face Penny and tell her."
"What makes you say that?"
"It was easier for you to play the cold-blooded reptile for Brad than to admit to Penny that you loved her enough to let her go."
"Now you're trying to make me a martyr. I'm far from that."
"And you're still in love with Penny."
"Of course not."
"How long ago did this happen?"
"Four or five years ago. Why?"
"And you've still not married?"
He laughed. "Not because I've been nursing a broken heart, I assure you. I enjoy my life the way it is. Instead of relinquishing my practice in St. Louis, I've managed to keep both offices open and busy. I don't have time for a personal life. Nor, to be honest, do I find the idea particularly appealing."
"Because you're afraid of being hurt."
"Now you're trying to romanticize me. Penny would have become bored with me very quickly. She quit teaching and moved to New York with Brad right after they married. As a matter of fact, they starred together in a Broadway play last spring."
"Oh, I remember that now. The character Brad plays—what's his name? Drew Derek?—disappeared and was missing for several months."
"I wouldn't know. I never watch the daily serials."
Brandi tilted her head and studied him. "So you were once engaged to marry Brad Crawford's wife."
"My one claim to fame."
She continued to study him. "You know, there's a definite resemblance between the two of you, now that you mention it."
"I didn't."
"Except that you don't smile as much."
"The courtroom doesn't encourage the practice."
"But you're as good at acting as he is." He looked at her, startled by her comment.
"But I'm not an actor."
"You've been putting on quite a performance right now, trying to convince me that your engagement and the ending of it hasn't had a profound effect on who you are and what you've become."
"Are you part witch or something?"
She laughed. "No, of course not. If I were, I would have conjured up a spell to have those men who are chasing me turned into tadpoles or something."
"And you could also figure out where Tim is at the moment."
She laughed. "I gave up trying to keep up with Tim years ago."
"A wise decision," he said quietly.
Brandi leaned forward, gazing into Greg's suddenly serious eyes. "I take it that you know what Tim does for a living."
Watching her warily, he said, "Maybe."
She shrugged. "I don't want to know. Not really. All I know is that it's dangerous and that he's very good at what he does."
"Yes. And yes."
"That's why I thought of him when I needed help. I think Tim has the contacts to find out what's going on up there in the hills."
''There's a strong possibility you're right."
Brandi stared into her glass, remembering her fright and wondering if she was safe even now
"Brandi?"
She glanced up. "Hmm?"
He took the empty glass from her hand and set it on the table nearby. "Try to put it out of your mind, okay?"
She nodded. "I'm trying."
"You're safe now. I'm not going to leave you until Tim shows up or we go back to Denver to try to get some answers without him." He recalled the unidentified footprints he'd seen earlier. "I'm not going to allow anyone to harm you."
❧
She believed him. Here was a man who instinctively made her feel sheltered and protected. He might not be willing to share his innermost feehngs, but he was willing to share his strength. At the moment, that was enough, but Brandi couldn't help wondering how it would feel to have this strong, polished, arrogant man in love with her. Would he allow her to see more than occasional glimpses of those other personalities hidden deep inside?
Brandi had never had a close relationship with a man in a romantic sense. She'd purposely avoided them because she was afraid. The loss of her father at an early age had been traumatic. Losing her mother while she was still in college hadn't helped her to come to terms with her fear of getting close to someone.
She had needed to learn how to be independent so that she would never be hurt like that again. Tim had understood her need for independence and had given her plenty of room. She'd never fully appreciated his understanding of her until now.
Looking at the man seated beside her, sipping his drink and watching her so intently, she knew that for the first time in years she was in danger of allowing someone to get too close to her. For some reason, she didn't find the thought as threatening as she would have in the past. Perhaps her feelings stemmed from the fact that she had finally met someone who was as shy of becoming involved as she was. Brandi felt as though she were coaxing him out of his protective shell, not the other way around.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, his hand cupping her face in a gentle caress.
"About you," she admitted in a husky voice.
"Very dull."
"Not at all. I was thinking about how little I know about men." She paused, searching for words. "And how much I would like to get to know you better."
"Really?"
"Really."
"That could be dangerous, considering the present situation."
"What do you mean?"
"We're alone in rather isolated circumstances."
She smiled. "I know."
"And you don't feel threatened?"
"Not by you. I feel very safe with you."
"Thank you. I think." He rubbed his thumb softly against her cheek. "I probably represent a father figure to you."
She burst into laughter. "Hardly."
"I feel old enough to be your father."
"I don't see you in that role at all, Greg. I find you very attractive..." She turned her head slightly and kissed his palm, which had been resting along her jawline. "...and very reliable..." She reached up and touched the strand of hair that had fallen across his forehead, "...and very, very sexy..." she whispered, pressing her lips against his.
She felt him tense at her words. Brandi rested her hand lightly against his sweater-covered chest and felt the heavy rhythm of his heart. Despite his lack of expression, he was not unaffected by her. She slid her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
Greg clearly understood the dangers of this particular situation. A couple in front of a fireplace, relaxed from a large dinner and a glass of liqueur, miles away from any other human beings. They obviously found each other attractive, available and interested. Mother Nature couldn't have planned it better if she had tried.
So it was up to him to keep a grip on reality, to set the tone of the evening, to make sure that nothing happened between them because... because...
Greg's iron will seemed to shatter, and his arms wrapped around Brandi in a strong grip. For the moment, all he could think about was the woman in his arms.
Brandi quickly discovered that the kiss they had shared earlier in the snow had only been a playful sharing. What she was experiencing now was a man's desire for her, something she'd never known before.
Greg held her and kissed her as though he were starved for the taste and touch of her, as though he had waited for centuries to hold her close to him, as though he never intended to let her go.
Brandi reveled in the passionate intensity of the moment. Perhaps this man couldn't talk about his feelings. He might even verbally deny them, but he couldn't hide them completely.
She responded with wholehearted enthusiasm, enjoying the sensation of feeling the surge of power in his heavy shoulder and chest muscles as he held her against him so tightly. Her hands explored the contours of his shoulders and back, wordlessly encouraging him.
Greg pulled away slightly and looked at the small young woman in his arms. Had he lost his mind? What in the hell did he think he was doing? He'd always taken pride in his ability to control himself, and yet... and yet now he seemed to have lost all restraint, all the rational and reasoning processes inside him that he'd come to rely on all these years.
This tiny wisp of a woman seemed to have reduced all his thinking processes to a quivering mass of mush. She lay in his arms with a slight smile on her face, her eyes closed. Her lips were moist and rosy from his earlier possession of them. His mouth unconsciously sought hers once more.
The sudden crackling of the wood in the fireplace several minutes later jerked Greg's thoughts away from Brandi. The loud noise in the otherwise quiet room grabbed his attention. He looked around, forcing himself to regain his self-control.
Brandi was lost to the sensation of the moment. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that anyone could affect her in such a way. No wonder so many of her college friends had advocated sexual exploration with their enthusiastic boyfriends.
How could she have possibly missed such a marvelous experience before now?
Greg loosened his hold around her and carefully moved away from what he considered a dangerous and explosive situation. He got up and checked the fire, then walked over and looked out at the moonlit, snow-blanketed night.
"You'd better go on upstairs, Brandi," he said without turning around. "It's late."
"I'm going to sleep down here."
Still without turning around, he said, "No, you're not."
"But the sofa isn't long enough for you."
He finally glanced at her over his shoulder. "I'll be fine. I'll see you in the morning."
"But Greg-"
"Let's not debate the issue, Brandi. I'm afraid I'm not in the mood."
Gone was the passionate man who had held her so closely, kissed her so thoroughly and made her feel as though she were soaring high above the universe. In his place was the arrogant lawyer she had met the night before. Hadn't what they had just shared meant anything to him?
"If you're sure—" she began softly.
"I'm sure."
She walked over to the bottom of the stairs. "I'll get you some blankets and a pillow."
"Thank you."
"Good night, Greg."
"Good night, Brandi."
He waited without turning until he heard her moving overhead. Greg realized that he was shaking. He couldn't believe what had almost happened. He'd lost all control over the situation with a woman who obviously trusted him not to take advantage of their isolation from the rest of the world.
He'd never been affected so strongly by anyone before, not even Penny. How could that be? Penny had taught him everything he knew about loving and caring. So how could he feel such an intense need for Brandi that he was willing to forget all his scruples in his almost uncontrollable desire to make her his.
He'd only meant to hold and comfort her, to reassure her, but as soon as he'd been near her he'd wanted so much more. What a laugh. He, of all people, knew there was nothing more, nothing except disillusionment.
Greg turned and watched Brandi bring blankets and a pillow down the steps. He met her at the bottom of the stairs and took them from her.
"Thanks," he said in a cool tone.
Brandi's bewilderment at his sudden change of mood slowly turned to pain. ''You're welcome," she managed to say before turning and slowly walking up the steps again.
What an inscrutable man, she thought. She was surprised by how quickly she'd allowed him to get close to her, both physically and emotionally.
She was determined not to allow it to happen again.