2 Maid in the Shade (36 page)

Now I
attempted to listen again without longing and feelings of betrayal. What
was
he saying? Ben was never cruel or snide but his words had eviscerated me. He knew me so well; but his directions to take over his power of attorney for his finances had been embellished by a cautionary warning not to use the money for personal purchases of diamonds and furs. He knew very well that I would never misappropriate his money, wear fur, and that I distrust the conflict free labeling of diamonds in general. He had gone on at length about the picnic basket; a basket he had custom made “just for us” before his departure. He had risked a mauling by a mother bear to retrieve it. It was quite a sea change to hear his cavalier request that I should swiftly return it to Delmontes’ for refilling and use it without him.

As wounded as I
had been, I realized now that none of this made sense unless he meant for it to be confusing so that I would think carefully about his words. It all began to click and clack in my brain like an old fashioned typewriter. And then there was the clang of the zip and return sounding an epiphany. There
was
something I had missed, about Delmontes, or the basket, or in his condo which I had so set to rights with brutal speed.

I had done
almost everything he had asked, including taking over responsibility for his personal finances. Within days of that message I had moved swiftly from his condo to his office. I signed the power of attorney as his assistant Calinda, clad in black leather and more facial rings than any face should be able to support, looked over at me with something akin to sympathy as she passed me the paperwork.

Ben
must have known he was in danger when he left the message with me.

I looked for Calinda’s business card
, hoping for some answers but when I did locate it and dialed her, the number was no longer in service.

I had more puzzles than I had pieces, but it seemed prudent to visit Ben’s office before we left. I had cleaned the picnic basket
weeks ago, and placed it on top of a cabinet with a variety of other treasured objects. I was sure I would have noticed if there had been anything unusual tucked in the smart little cutlery storage pockets. Nevertheless, I added the basket and Ben’s office to my list and slid the small notebook into my pocket before going back out to the porch.

I heard my father milling about inside
until showered and freshly shaved he came out to the porch to sit with me. Mosey was outside finishing up and I was staring out into the woods with blind eyes. “Do you want to get dressed for dinner?” My dad asked gently.

I swiveled my head to look at him and bit my lip. I was conscious of my shallow breathing
. I felt as though I had been eviscerated and everything within me had been filled with pain and sewn tightly back inside so it could never escape.

“Do you know what I hate more than anything in the world?
” I asked him finally. 

“I would think right now it would be powerlessness,” my father said.

I nodded. “That
is
the one thing,” I said. “And I have been almost powerless before, you know? A few times; when it was personal and immediate, but this; this has an incalculable vastness to it…” my voice trailed off.

My father was silent, but as we looked at one another it was though
a barrage of questions without answers were being pitched back and forth, thought better of, and littered the ground all around us.

“Do you want to dress for dinner?” My father asked.

I scooted closer to him and put my arm around his shoulder.

“I just asked you that,” he
said, chagrinned.

“How about I get dressed for dinner?” I smiled.

“I’ll watch Mosaic there,” he nodded and I turned and walked back inside.

When I came back downstairs I was wearing a soft comfortable dress. I had taken some pains with my hair and face
for Dad’s benefit. My friend Jackson, a drama queen of the first order had taught me a quick trick or two and it seemed to be something I could offer up as reassurance. My father was worried about Ben, Elizabeth and me; I needed to at least look as though I could withstand whatever was coming our way. Dad, ever the gentleman took my arm and led me outside and we drove over to Lucy’s house.

There were more cars than I had expected. My father parked and I looked at him and glanced meaningfully over the m
any cars that were parked there. They were all automobiles I knew.

“Not my idea,” he said. “Lucy, I expect.”

I squeezed his arm. “Sometimes Lucy knows what I need even when I don’t. Don’t tell her that though,” I smiled. “When she is wrong she is colossally wrong.”

My friend
Mona was there and Lucy’s husband Rod, but their twins were out of sight. As we came through the door I saw Jackson there with Jared. I took a deep breath. Jared and I had been sticking to our resolve not to be alone for awhile, so whenever we had some outing we were interested in pursuing we had persuaded Mona, Jackson, Lucy or whoever we could draft into coming along. “This might be one of those colossally wrong ones,” I said grimly as everyone surged towards us. Food was everywhere, the television in the great open room was on a 24 hours news station and I saw Rod scramble toward the remote to switch it off.

I caught his eye and waved my hand carelessly to stop him.
“If it stays on I won’t be able to stand it, and if it’s off that will be intolerable too,” I whispered to my dad.

“I don’t think you’ll hear anything that way,”
my father nodded at the screen. “We will be called, or Elizabeth will.”

“Don’t let me forget before we leave town, I said, “there is something wrong at Ben’s office.”

My father nodded as everyone began to approach us.

Lucy came and reached up to hug
us and then the rest of them followed suit. Jared gave me a hard hug and shook hands with my dad.

“I understand you all have been taking care of my girl here.”
My father cleared his throat. “I had no idea all those stories were completely true, until I reached the States. It seems I’ve been mislead by someone into believing it was all inflated melodrama”. He gave me a mildly reproachful glance. Then Dad reached over and caught Mona’s arm and pulled her into another hug. “I understand you’re quite a good shot, I’m awfully glad you are,” he smiled and Mona gave him a dazzled look patting her hair into place. “There’s plenty more where that came from” she stammered. There were slight smiles all around; Mona’s conversational gambits could be quite baffling. My father was the only one who kept his features somberly and thoughtfully composed as he covered her hand with his own. “I owe you a great debt,” he said seriously, and she drew closer to him, her eyes fastened to his lips as though she might be compelled to kiss him.

“Well,” Lucy piped up
, “we have an awful lot of food here, shall we get to it?”

My father flashed her a smile. “Can I lead the prayer?”

“Of course,” Rod answered, because Lucy’s eyes had suddenly brimmed over and she turned quickly away to hide it.

Everyone stood quietly as my d
ad began. “Bless us oh Lord for these thy gifts…”and he finished with a request that God watch over us all and guide us, to keep us strong and deliver Ben home to us safely. We genuflected and the others stood quite still for a moment before Betty bustled in the kitchen, grumbling that all that fine cooking was going to get cold, and Rod turned to hand my father a tumbler of bourbon which he gratefully accepted.

People began to
line up at the various stations and someone handed me a plate full of food. I saw my father reach into his pocket and head outside. I put my plate down and followed him.

I stepped out of the grand entrance and watched him talking on the phone. The moment he saw me he stepped further away. I leaned against the stone wall and waited until he ended the call.

He walked back toward me and put his arms around me and sighed heavily. “I think we should go to London in the morning,” my dad said.

“What do you know now?” I asked. He shook his head again. .”Let’s make our apologies and get back to your place,” Dad said. “Can someone take Mosey?”

“Any one of them,” I replied.

I
didn’t ask about the call. My father looked grim but not despairing. Whatever it was I didn’t want to hear about until we were alone.

When we walked back in I asked Jared to take Mosey for awhile
and tonight if possible. He kissed me carefully on the forehead, “Whatever you need.”

I turned and looked for Lucy but our side of the room had emptied.
Jackson, Mona and Rod were all watching the television screen. Jared quickly pulled me back to him and held my face pressed against his chest. I struggled free and walked toward the television unsteadily as though I were moving through strong currents. There was an anchor woman on the screen and the band of news running like a ticker tape across the bottom. Then the screen changed and there were three men bookended by two with guns. The men were on their knees; their heads were covered with loose black cloth, their arms bound behind them. As I drew closer I could hear the announcer saying disparate words I couldn’t quite absorb or connect; words like “faction, no demands, one identified.”

Jared caught me as one of the gunmen raised his weapon and shot the man o
n the far left in the back of the head.