(2011) The Gift of Death (14 page)

‘
Would you mind if I stayed out here in the garden while you went inside for your appointment?’ asked Cassie.

Kate looked over as the police car turned into the parking space next to her.

‘
I guess it’s okay, as long as you stay within sight of the cops. And I suppose I won’t be long.’

‘
Great. Will you walk me over to a space beneath a tree and near that – what is it I can smell? – yes, near to the jasmine.’

Kate took Cassie’s arm and started to walk slowly around the garden, searching out the plant until she found its tendrils snaking along a pergola, its white flowers emanating a sickly sweet smell.

‘
I always found jasmine a little overwhelming, but I think I need a bit of sensory overload today,’ she said, laughing. ‘Take my mind off other things.’

Kate smiled. ‘Okay, now why don’t you sit here,’ she said, gesturing to a space on the lawn, before realising that Cassie could not see her. She blushed slightly at her own stupidity. ‘I’ll help you down onto the grass. But promise me you won’t move from here. The sergeant can see you from his car, and before I go in I’ll make sure he keeps you in sight. Okay?’

‘
Okay,’ said Cassie, lowering herself down onto the lawn. ‘What’s the tree here above me? I can hear the wind in its leaves. But I think they’re quite small and fine, almost slithers of leaves.’

Kate looked up. ‘I think it’s a jacaranda, but it’s not in bloom.’

The vibrant blue flower of the jacaranda tree was her father’s favourite colour. When she was a child each May they would take a driving tour of the jacarandas in the neighbourhood, before coming back to the beach house to enjoy a picnic lunch under their own tall tree on the terrace. ‘It’s the greatest colour in the whole of LA, don’t you think?’ her father would say and she would have to agree.

‘
Okay, I’ll leave you here,’ said Kate, forcing the memory from her mind. ‘You’ll be fine?’

‘
Sure. Now go. Don’t be late.’

Kate walked across the grass and on to the gravel path that led up towards the entrance. As she stepped into the double height room she was bathed in a gentle white light that streamed in through the side windows. The whiteness of the interior was blinding and, for a moment, she felt as though she had just entered an operating theatre, and that she was a patient about to undergo surgery.

‘
Hello, Miss Cramer,’ said a middle-aged blonde, looking up from her computer screen.

‘
Hi, Frances,’ said Kate, approaching the chrome and glass desk.

‘
Are you here to see Dr Cruger?’

‘
That’s right. Back again, I’m afraid.’

Frances smiled with the disinterest of the professional. ‘Let’s see. That’s right. I’ve got you down here for an appointment at 11:30. If you want to take a seat, I’ll let him know you’re here.’ She picked up the telephone on her desk and quietly spoke into it.

Kate sat in a Le Courbusier-style chrome and black leather cube chair as she waited for the phone on the secretary’s desk to flash, the signal that the doctor was ready to see her. Her previous visits to the clinic had always been invested with an odd mix of emotions – sadness, expectation, anxiety, anger, jealousy, the possibility of joy. But never, until today, had she felt suspicious. She wasn’t proud of the way she was feeling, and she wished the cloud of doubt would lift from her. But what other explanation was there? How else could somebody have discovered that she was pregnant? Most bizarrely, how had a stranger found out before her?

She looked at Frances with eyes poisoned by suspicion. She knew by her very presence at the clinic that Kate was trying for a child. And, of course, she would have had access to her files. But there was no way she could have known that the cluster of cells implanted into her on January 3 would have resulted in pregnancy. After all, although the success rate of the clinic was one of the best in the country, for women in her age group it was still only 36 per cent. As Kate tried to blink the distrust away the light on Frances’ phone flashed. The doctor was ready to see her. As she stood up Kate still did not have a clue about what she was going to say.

‘
Hi, Kate, come in,’ said the doctor, stretching out his hand and gesturing towards the chair. ‘Frances said you sounded a little upset on the phone. How are you feeling?’

‘
Apart from having my head in the toilet bowl all day you mean?’

‘
Have you tried ginger? Lemon? And there are also some –‘

‘
It’s actually something else that’s bothering me.’

‘
Well, you know you can talk to me about anything.’

The assertion tripped off his tongue too easily, she thought. From the beginning she had interpreted his smooth manner as natural confidence. Now she wasn’t so sure.

‘
I don’t know where to begin,’ she said, playing for time.

Dr Cruger waited for her to elaborate. Kate studied his guileless blue eyes, his thinning blond hair, the whiteness of his eyelashes and his unlined face. There was something not quite right about him. Something that kept needling her somewhere at the back of her mind, something she couldn’t quite articulate. Was it the fact that, for a man in his mid-forties, he looked too young, too boyish? Yes, but not only that. What worried her more was the feeling she got that he was trying too hard to be trustworthy, almost as if he was playing a part. Why hadn’t she picked up on this before?

‘
How much do you trust your staff, Dr Cruger?’

‘
Implicitly. Why do you ask?’

Although it had been in the news, she just couldn’t bring herself to tell him the whole truth.

‘
I’ve been sent a card congratulating me on my pregnancy.’

‘
And?’

‘
It arrived before even I knew I was carrying a child.’

The blood seemed to drain from his face.

‘
I don’t understand.’

‘
Neither do I. That’s why I hoped you might be able to help me out.’

‘
It didn’t cause you any distress, I hope. The card? At least it was a message of congratulations.’

‘
Yes, but that’s beside the point,’ she said, trying to remain calm. She had to stick to her story.

‘
If the card arrived before you suspected then presumably that was before you came in here for confirmation?’

‘
Yes, it was.’

‘
So what makes you think it’s anything to do with the clinic? Have you been unhappy with the service you received here?’

‘
No, not at all,’ she said, smiling, trying to diffuse the tension in the air. ‘As you can imagine it was quite a shock. A nice shock, but a shock all the same.’ She felt slightly nauseous as she remembered what had really been sent to her. ‘But I just wanted to reassure myself that you hadn’t had a problem here. With staff or a security breach. I’ve got a few contacts in the media and I would hate to have to –‘

The veiled threat of exposure was enough to force him to talk.

‘
I’m going to be honest, Kate. I wasn’t going to say anything before, but –‘

‘
But what?’

‘
A few weeks ago we had a break in. Some drugs were stolen from the lab here, bottles of anaesthetic, pain relief, and also a laptop from the reception area. We weren’t too worried as the computer is password protected, and we change the access code every week, usually a randomly-generated string of numbers and letters.’

‘
And you didn’t think about reporting it to the police?’

‘
As you know we pride ourselves on our discretion. We simply couldn’t afford to let something like this leak out. We need our clientele to feel they can trust us.’

‘
And now -?’

‘
Now?’

‘
When you know that there is a likelihood that the information on your database could have been accessed?’

‘
No, no, that’s an improbability. There’s no way the code could have been broken. No way that –‘

‘
Dr Cruger, you know as well as I do that there are people capable of hacking into anything.’

‘
Yes, but even so, if what you are telling me is true then there would have been nothing on our database to indicate that you were pregnant. As you said, even you didn’t yet know about your condition.’

The two stared at each other in silence.

‘
So what are you going to do? Are you going to go to the police?’

‘
Kate, I know it’s been a difficult time for you recently,’ said Cruger, looking at her with concern. ‘The last time you came here you told me about your decision to split from your partner. Trust me, I know the pressure the fertility program puts on couples, and I’ve seen it happen time and again. And then, in your case, the added difficulty of breaking up from your partner and the prospect of bringing up the child alone. And then from what I’ve read in the
Times
about your recent – discovery - I think all of us here would understand if –‘

‘
What are you trying to say?’

‘
Nothing. Just that I don’t think necessarily you should be blaming us. I know you may feel angry about what has happened, but there could be an innocent explanation.’

‘
Such as?’

‘
That the card could have been sent by a friend, by someone close to you. Have you talked to your partner about this?’

‘
So you think Josh could have sent it?‘

‘
I’m not saying anything for certain, but it is a possibility.’

‘
No, it’s not.’

‘
What if he sent the card out of spite? Because he was convinced you weren’t pregnant? Maybe he thought that, now that your relationship is over, there’s little chance you would ever get pregnant.’

‘
It’s not possible.’

‘
To be fair, I think it’s a more realistic proposition than the likelihood of someone breaking in here to steal a computer, which was protected by a security password, which actually didn’t hold the information about your pregnancy. Do you see, what you are suggesting just isn’t logical.’

She had to admit to herself that he had a point.

‘
And I really would rather not take this to the police,’ continued Dr Cruger. ‘In fact, from the evidence you’ve presented to me this morning, well, I don’t think it would be enough for them to take seriously.’

‘
I see,’ said Kate. ‘And none of your other patients have reported any – any – discrepancies? And breaches? Strange letters, parcels?’

‘
No, nothing of the sort. Which makes me certain that the two incidents – the break in and your “card” - aren’t connected. I really do think you should talk to your partner about this.’

She felt the muscles around her mouth tighten. For a moment she could not speak.

‘
Look, Kate. If you want me to refer you to somebody, I know a couple of doctors who are at the top of the field. There’s one in particular I think –‘

‘
No, I don’t think that’s necessary,’ said Kate, rising from her chair. ‘But if anything else happens, you will let me know, won’t you? If anybody else gets sent anything suspicious or -’

‘
Yes, of course. Of course I will.’

He walked her across his office to a back door that led out onto a side exit. Cruger was proud of his design, a system which meant that clients arriving for their appointments never had to see the ones leaving.

‘
And if there is anything else you’d like to talk about just give me a call,’ he said. ‘Besides, I’ll be seeing you in – is it three weeks - for a check-up. Frances will be in touch to schedule the appointment.’

‘
Yes, thank you,’ she said, her mouth dry and bitter-tasting.

‘
I’m sure you’ll find that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation,’ he said, pausing by the door. ‘Don’t’ worry, Kate. I’m confident that your pregnancy will be a happy and stress-free one. It’s my job to make sure that’s the case. Try to take it easy. Okay?’

She nodded, smiled and said goodbye. As she stepped out into the sunlight she knew that she would not be going back to the clinic. She would find another gynaecologist and ask for all her records to be transferred.

There was probably nothing sinister about Cruger. She understood his point of view, his position made perfect sense. Indeed, if she had been the doctor and a patient had walked into her office with the same story she too would most likely have reacted in the same way. It was his capacity for emotional manipulation that she objected to – that and the way he had implied she was somehow vaguely hysterical.