365 Days (15 page)

Tuesday 17 July

HRBH looked like she’d been crying again today. I figured she couldn’t still be hormonal, so I bit the bullet and asked her if she was all right. She told me that she’d found out that Ade had been cheating on her with some girl behind the cheese counter down at the supermarket. I asked her how long he’d been seeing her and she told me, ‘Around three months.’ Three months?! I asked her if she’d had no idea what he was up to and she shook her head sadly, adding that now she understood why sometimes when she saw him, he had a whiff of Cheddar about him.

My poor sister! I hate to see her upset. She might be a right pain in the arse, and she might treat me like something she’s trodden on in the garden, but she’s still my sister, and anyone who messes with her messes with me. Made a mental note to go down to Aldi someday soon, order a large quantity of extra mature, extra smelly Stilton, then throw it at this scarlet woman who’s taken Ade away from my poor sister. Don’t think I’ll mess with Ade, though, ’cos he plays rugby at weekends and is built like a brick shithouse.

Wednesday 18 July

It was SUCH a nice evening tonight so a whole gang of us decided to meet up over at the park and watch the hot-air balloons take off. Mum actually let me go, which means she’s either mellowing in her old age, or she’s figured there are only two days left of school, so what the hell? Personally I think it’s the second. Mum is about as mellow as an electric storm!

Anyway, about ten of us went up there and it was mega! Some boys came too but I suppose you can’t have everything. We all sat round on the grass chatting and laughing, and I kept noticing Han was looking at me all the time with this impish look in her eye, and I knew exactly what she was thinking, ’cos I was thinking the same thing—that we had this connection and
no one
else knew about it! I loved the fact we had this secret! It was so hot and so exciting! She kept catching my eye; she’d hold my gaze and smile this knowing smile, raising that damn sexy eyebrow of hers, knowing I was thinking the same thing as she was.

Then she started doing that thing of chewing her lip and smiling to herself, like she loved her secret. It got me so damned horny I stopped listening to what the others were saying. Suddenly, she hopped to her feet and said breezily, ‘Hey, Clem, you said you wanted to show me the bonsais down in the gardens. Wanna go now?’ and stood in front of me, holding out her hand. I grabbed her hand and hauled myself to my feet, and we managed to walk off down to the trees before anyone could think to follow us.

When we got down to the walled gardens, we collapsed on a bench and got a fit of the giggles. I said, ‘Bonsais?? What made you say that?’ She said, ‘I dunno! It was the first thing that came into my head, silly. Got us away from them though, didn’t it?’ and she grinned at me. She said, ‘I just wanted to be alone with you, you didn’t mind, did you? Besides, I could see Charlie looking at you and I didn’t like it so I thought I’d whisk you away from him before I thumped him one. You know I hate it when boys look at you.’

I’m always secretly pleased when I know Han’s jealous, ’cos it makes me feel dead wanted and loved and I think it makes her dead sexy, but I didn’t want her to know that so instead I just said, ‘I wanted to be alone with you too. You were driving me mad up there,’ and I tried my best to look seductive.

She knew what I meant ’cos then she grabbed my hand, said, ‘C’mon, you,’ and took me behind the Japanese gazebo where we had this fantastic kiss, enough to make my tummy flutter AND my legs go weak! She looked dead deep into my eyes and said, ‘I love that we’re so intense, don’t you?’ and I nodded at her, not really wanting to talk, just wanting to kiss her again.

She said, ‘I feel such a connection to you, Clemmykins. It’s like we’re soul mates, like we were always meant to meet each other, don’t you?’ I just kinda went, ‘Uh-huh,’ because I’ve never been great with all that emotional shit. She leant against the gazebo and said, ‘Sometimes I feel like we’re so connected that I can hear your heart pounding in my head.’ She took my hand and put it on her chest and said, ‘Can you hear my heart pounding in your head, Clem?’

I have to say I couldn’t actually hear her heart, but I could feel it beating fast against my hand, as well as the very pleasing feel of her bits cupped beneath my hand, but, not wanting to spoil the intensity of the moment, told her that I could hear her heart too. I would have been very happy to have left my hand resting on her chest all evening, but, worried about being seen, reluctantly removed it and instead carried on leaning against the side of the gazebo and secretly linked hands with her, both of us just lost in the feeling of being alone together.

We suddenly realised we’d been gone for over half an hour and so reluctantly went back and joined the others farther up the park, but it seemed no one had missed us, ’cos they were still talking about the same thing they were talking about when we left, and no one batted an eyelid when we came back and sat down.

Went home tonight feeling a very happy bunny indeed!

Thursday 19 July

We had a special assembly today so that Mrs. Russell could say her good-byes to us all. She stood up on the stage and blathered on about how much she’d enjoyed her years at St Bartholomew’s, and that it had been her privilege and honour to know such lovely pupils over the last fifteen years, and how much she was going to miss all ‘her girls’. Then Mrs. O’Keefe, the deputy head, came up on stage and presented her with a bouquet of roses and a gift voucher to spend down at some car accessory shop (Mrs. Russell likes cars and is often to be found at weekends, so it’s said, under a car with a spanner in her hand tinkering with her big end), then got us all to stand and applaud her (Mrs. Russell, that is, not Mrs. O’Keefe—she’s not going anywhere—worse luck!) Mrs. Russell started to get choked up which was embarrassing, but managed to gather herself in time to lead us all in a rousing rendition of ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’, which she warbled through with her usual gusto. We also had a little presentation for some other teachers who were either leaving or retiring, including our Music teacher, Mr. King, who’s moving to the seaside to start up a B&B with Tom Skirton, the Head Boy at King Edward’s School.

Was supposed to be normal lessons this afternoon, but no one could be arsed, including Frauline Kretchzmar, our English teacher, who made a decision to send us all up to the library to do some ‘private studying’, so we all went down to McD’s instead.

Friday 20 July

Last day of term! Thank the Lord. We didn’t have to wear uniforms today, which was cool. I wore an oversized shirt with the cuffs all tattered and torn, jeans with the knees ripped, and my Airwalks, which I walk Barbara in. I’d also put gel in my hair to give it that just-got-out-of-bed look ’cos Mrs. Russell never, ever lets us have our hair anything other than ‘conventional’.

Dad took one glance at me at the breakfast table and said, ‘You’re not going out of the house looking like THAT, are you??’ with a look on his face that looked like he’d just seen aliens land in the garden or something. Mum said, ‘Let her wear what she wants, Chris! She’s not doing anyone any harm,’ which I thought was a wicked thing for an old person to say.

I met up with Alice half way to school and she gave me a wolf-whistle and said, ‘Good job it’s old Russell’s last day today! The old crone’ll be in a good mood—just as well ’cos there’s no way she’d let you get away with that otherwise!’

Han was looking wicked as usual and had gone completely over the top with her makeup, with loads of black eyeliner smudged right round her eyes and her hair all matted up and messy, ’cos she’s trying to grow dreadlocks, but it still looked great! I could have taken her there and then, but a girl’s got to show a little restraint!

Anyway, the day was a complete waste of time ’cos all we did was watch DVDs and hang around till around two o’clock when Russell graciously told us we could go home. What unparalleled joy! So that’s it…six weeks of holiday and I can’t wait!!

Saturday 21 July

Went round to Han’s this morning. We sat in her room listening to music and I kept trying not to look at her bed, ’cos every time I did, I got a bit panicky about next weekend. I’ve lost loads of weight from all the worrying. I’ve hardly eaten a thing since last Saturday. I even waved away the offer of a Chinese takeaway last night, much to Mum and Dad’s consternation, but just the thought of trying to force prawn balls down my throat made me queasy.

Sunday 22 July

Han has lent me loads of her CDs so I’ve been playing them all day today, despite it seemingly annoying Dad. I’m sure I heard him mutter something about ‘bloody day of rest’ on more than one occasion—but since he’s not religious, he’s got no right to want a day of rest!

I’ve always liked rock music, but the stuff Han’s given me is wicked! I copied her Nirvana, Linkin Park, Slipknot, and My Chemical Romance and I’ve been playing them on my iPod on continuous reel so now my ears are buzzing and I can’t hear anything properly!!

Monday 23 July

Had a major panic attack about this weekend at around two o’clock this afternoon. I suddenly realised I’m actually going to have to get naked in front of Han and I’m crapping myself about it. No one’s ever seen me in the buff, except Mum—and that was about ten years ago. The second I hit puberty I started to wear sensible cardigans buttoned up to the neck, in case anyone should spot so much as one bump or curve.

Now I’m going to have to show all my bits and pieces to another person and hope she doesn’t laugh. Made a mental note to have a bath before I go to Han’s on Saturday and make sure I shave, scrub, pumice, polish, and buff so that I’m shining like a sixpence on a sweep’s bum (as Great Aunt May says) by the time I’m stripped down to me undies!

Tuesday 24 July

Oh flip, what if Han’s into kinky underwear? I hadn’t thought of that! What if I get there and she’s wearing naughty knickers and the like? Or if she’s wearing lacy stuff? I’m not used to lace; my hands would shake so much I’d probably rip it, then she’d be pissed off with me!

What if she’s into kinky shit too? What if I get there and she’s got contraptions rigged up in her room ’cos she knows her parents aren’t going to be around? She might be into bondage and all that, ’cos Goths—sorry, EMOs—are into pain and punishment and all that malarkey, aren’t they? She might decide to tie me to the bed and leave me there. Or worse, put me in a leather collar and walk me round the house on all fours, like judges and politicians do at weekends. Leather chafes so; I can’t wear leather shoes without Dad softening them up for me first—I can hardly ask him to soften up a studded leather sex collar and matching nipple clamps (or whatever it is they use), can I?

Wednesday 25 July

I’m panicking, aren’t I? I’ve been in Han’s bedroom loads of times and never seen any evidence of whips or thongs or anything remotely leathery. I’m being ridiculous. Calm down.

10:30 p.m,

Made a mental note to take a quick look under Han’s bed before I strip down to just my socks, though.

Thursday 26 July

Chucked all my underwear out onto my bed this morning. Took one look at my knickers with no elastic and my bandage-grey bra and realised, in a panic, that I have NO nice underwear to wear this weekend so dashed down to the lingerie shop in town to buy some new stuff. I bought a six-pack of bikini briefs and a new sports bra. Bought them, then had a crisis of confidence outside the store, so went back to see if there was anything else more flattering, and dare I say it, sexy? Found a nice bra and knicker set for £20 and stood there dithering about the price until one of the sales ladies with a T-shirt saying, ‘Can I Help You?’ stretched right across her ample bosom sidled up to me and said I could go and have a bra fitting with one of their experts. She pointed towards the changing rooms where one of her colleagues was leaning on a counter chewing gum and looking bored. I’m sure I saw her crack her knuckles, so I smiled at the sales lady and told her I was okay. I put the bra-and-knicker set in my basket and hurried over to the till where I reluctantly handed over my £20.

It better be worth all this hassle, I’m telling you!

Friday 27 July

Packed my rucksack for going to Han’s tomorrow. Figured I’d wear my new undies so just packed a spare pair of knickers and some jeans and a couple of tops. Packed my Winnie the Pooh pyjamas but thought Han might think me a baby for wearing Winnie the Pooh pyjamas so took them out again. Packed my toiletry bag and bath sponge. Packed Nurofen in case I get a headache. Packed my straighteners. Packed some plasters (thinking about the nipple clamps again).

Went back downstairs and sat with Mum and Dad trying to act normal. Suddenly thought Han might think me a bit forward if she realises I don’t have pyjamas so went back upstairs and packed the Winnie the Pooh ones again.