4 Shot Off The Presses (24 page)

“Chelsea, I don’t think you’ve thought this through,” I started. I had seen a hint of movement from Derrick’s foot. I still couldn’t see him, though. I had no idea if he was awake or not.

“What?”

“The police are going to match the slug in that gun to the freeway shootings,” I said. “If you kill me, maybe they won’t look for the culprit too hard. If you kill a cop, though, there’s nowhere you’ll be able to hide.”

“What if I make it look like a murder suicide? Those happen all the time.”

“Yeah, but we were just inside. People are going to know that Derrick didn’t shoot me and then shoot himself over spaghetti sauce.”

Chelsea glanced over her shoulder nervously. “You’re messing things up,” she said. “I shouldn’t have even stopped to talk to you. You’re just trying to scare me.”

“You should be scared,” I said earnestly. “This isn’t going to end well for anybody if you go through with this.”

“I don’t see where I have a choice,” Chelsea said firmly, raising the gun. “I might not get away with it if I kill you, but I’ll definitely get caught if I don’t. What’s one more murder? We don’t have the death penalty in Michigan and I’m already looking at life.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to see it as it happened. For a second, my mind wandered to Eliot and the anger he would feel when he found Derrick and I – because I knew he would be the one to find us, for some reason – and I felt my heart clench with unexpressed angst at the pain I knew he would feel.

Then something I didn’t expect happened and my whole world tilted anew.

“Avery! Derrick! What are you doing out there? Stop hiding and get back in here! You’re both grounded if you don’t get in here right now!”

Oh, holy crap, my mom was coming out here.

“Who is that?” Chelsea hissed, taking a step towards me.

“It’s my mother,” I said, fear gripping my senses. “You can’t shoot her.”

“Then you better get rid of her,” Chelsea warned, moving away from the shed door. “You better get her back in that restaurant. If she sees me, it’s over for you and her.”

Great. Nothing like a little bit of guilt to make a life-and-death situation all the more fraught. My mother would never let me forget it if she got shot – or killed. I didn’t believe in ghosts, but if anyone could come back for some vindictive haunting, it would definitely be my mother.

I stepped around Chelsea carefully, glancing down at Derrick as I did. He looked like he was out cold, but I couldn’t be sure. I was hopeful that he’d regained consciousness and he was just playing possum – but that was probably the abject fear talking.

Once I was in the doorway, my mom stilled her approach halfway between the restaurant and the shed. “What are you doing?”

“We’re still looking for the sauce,” I lied.

“It’s right in the fridge,” my mom said. “I saw it in there the other day.”

“Okay,” I said. “I was just calming Derrick down before we go back in.”

“Well, he should just let it go,” my mom said wistfully. “Can’t we ever just have a nice dinner?”

“Take that up with the rest of the family,” I said briefly. “We’ll just grab the spaghetti sauce and we’ll be right in.”

My mom looked doubtful. I was using all of my Jedi mind tricks to freeze her in place. Unfortunately, just like when I was a little kid, I realized that I didn’t really have control of the Force and nothing was going to stop her from coming into this shed if she made up her mind to do just that.

“Well, hurry up,” my mom said finally, turning back to the restaurant.

I waited until I knew she was safely back inside and then turned back to Chelsea. “They’ll hear the gunshot,” I said. “The kitchen staff will hear it. You won’t be able to get out of here.”

“I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we?” Chelsea’s face had gone from sympathetic to sinister, like a switch had been flipped.

“Just kill me, Chelsea,” I begged. “Don’t kill Derrick. He doesn’t deserve this. He finally got a girlfriend that’s not only real but that sleeps with him on a regular basis.”

“That’s funny,” Chelsea laughed. “I didn’t think you two got along.”

“We don’t get along,” I said honestly. “Family doesn’t get along. We love each other despite the fact that we’re all assholes. We love each other because we know the worst about each other and, yet, we’re still fine with it.”

“And what’s the worst about him?”

“He’s overcompensating for being short, that’s why he became a cop,” I said honestly. “He likes control and being a cop gives him that.”

“And what’s the worst about you?”

“I’m selfish and narcissistic and I’m obsessed with
Star Wars
,” I admitted. “I sometimes wish I could turn into the
Incredible Hulk
and pound the crap out of random people – or you right now,” I continued. “I always pretend that I want to be the hero of a movie and yet, right now, I’m really looking forward to Derrick tasing the shit out of you and just sitting back and watching.”

“Huh?” Chelsea looked around confused. She was too late, though. Her focus had been on me. She hadn’t seen Derrick roll to his knees and crawl towards her. She hadn’t seen him pull his police issue taser out of his pants and push it to her ankle. And, when she finally realized what was happening, the only thing she had time to register was the smug look on Derrick’s face when he pulled the trigger.

Chelsea’s body went rigid as the volts rushed through her body. She squeezed the trigger on the gun instinctively, but it was pointed at the wall of the shed and not at me. I dropped to the ground anyway, waiting for her to drop, too. When she finally did, I met Derrick’s eyes in relief. “Took you long enough.”

“I wanted to see what else you could get her to admit,” Derrick said. His eyes were slightly glazed over, making me believe he probably had a concussion. “You got enough to put her away for the rest of her life, though. So, good job, I guess.”

I shakily got to my feet, falling back down immediately as the adrenaline I had been living on for the past fifteen minutes fled my body. I crawled over to Derrick, being careful to avoid Chelsea – even though she wasn’t in a coherent state of mind at the moment. “Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

“I guess.”

“Then kick that gun away from her hand – kick it, don’t touch it -- and get the cuffs out of my belt and cuff her.”

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You’re letting me cuff her?”

“I think you’ve earned it.”

THINGS
got out of control pretty quickly after that. Eliot had rushed to the shed at the sound of the gunfire, panic and fury written all over his face. After the initial relief registered, he was overcome with irate anger, although there was no enemy left standing for him to fight. “I told you not to leave my side!”

“I went out to a shed with a cop,” I replied earnestly. “I thought I was safe.”

“Obviously not,” Eliot scoffed.

“We’re still alive,” I countered.

“Only because your mother interrupted,” Eliot said. “You should probably thank her.”

Oh, great, I would never live this one down. She was going to haunt me in flesh and blood instead of spirit.

In short order, the family restaurant was invaded by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Department, medical personnel for both Derrick and Chelsea, and Jake Farrell at his uniformed best.

“Are you all okay?” He asked worriedly when he caught sight of me.

“We’re fine,” I said. “I wasn’t even hurt a little this time.”

Jake shook his head. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Derrick was a hero,” I changed my tactic.

“He got hit from behind by an insurance secretary,” Jake said. “The guys at the department are going to give him hell for that.”

“Yeah, but he regained consciousness and saved my life, that’s got to count for something.”

“It does. Dumb luck.”

“It’s not like we knew she was following us,” I said. “How could we know that?”

“No, but we knew you were a target,” Jake said.

My heart pinged at the thought of a dead high school student. I pushed the guilt away, though. I would deal with that later, when I was alone with my
Little House on the Prairie
DVD sets – so it wouldn’t look as bad when I bawled my eyes out. I had a reputation as a hard ass to uphold, after all.

“She made a full confession,” I said helpfully.

“Derrick told me.”

“I feel a little bad for her,” I admitted.

Jake shook his head. “And that’s why you’re you, I guess.”

“What?”

“You feel bad for the woman that wanted to kill you.”

“Her boss was a dick.”

“But that student and that mother were innocent,” he reminded me. “And she wanted to kill you, too. You’re awful forgiving about that little fact.”

“I didn’t say she was right,” I said. “I said I felt a little bad for her.”

“Well, get over that,” Jake said harshly. “You’re going to have to testify in court and I don’t want the jury to feel bad for her.”

He had a point.

THE NEXT
few days were a blur. I had managed to file a first-hand exclusive on the arrest of Chelsea and scoop the rest of my competition handily. Then, while they were playing catch-up the next day, Marvin and I had broken another huge story about the National Guard base: It was expanding, not closing.

Commander Turner had agreed to sit down for a one-on-one interview with me regarding the expansion – even being relatively pleasant during the process – and I managed to lay claim to two big stories in two days. No one could touch my Media Queen title for the foreseeable future. Sure, I knew Turner had only agreed to sit down with me because I was the current media darling, but I wasn’t going to decline a story that I knew would turn the county on its head.

The political reporter, Bill, had tried to raise a stink about Marvin and I stealing the base story from him but his constant litany of complaints had fallen on deaf ears. Fish didn’t care that we had broken it, only that the two exclusives had caused The Monitor’s circulation to soar over the past two days.

“She did the work, she gets the glory,” Fish told Bill. “She was almost killed – again. I think she’s earned all her accolades this time.”

That was enough to constitute a great week at any other time. There was more, though. The best part of my week came when Clara Black, the head of the board of commissioners in Macomb County, took credit for the expansion and effectively cut Tad out of the announcement.

I had heard, through the grapevine, that he was currently plotting my destruction. I would deal with that when it happened, though. I had other things on my mind -- like a wedding – which was finally here.

“What are you doing?”

I had expected a lot of things when I entered the cry room of the church where Carly was being sequestered until the ceremony. Carly trying to climb out of the small window in the wall wasn’t one of them.

“I can’t do this!” Carly swung on me and I was taken aback by the frantic look in her eyes. “What was I thinking when I agreed to do this? You have to help me get out of here.”

I considered Carly’s request and then shook my head.

“You love Kyle,” I reminded her.

“His mother is the devil, though.”

“You’re not marrying his mother.”

“I think she comes with the package,” Carly said wryly.

Even though Carly had been largely calm over the past two weeks, I had figured she had one last freak out left in her repertoire. I had come prepared. I dug into my purse and pulled the full flask I had thought ahead to pack out of it, taking a swig before I handed it over to Carly. I was a little nervous, too, truth
be told.

“What is that?” Carly asked suspiciously.

“Do you care?”

“No,” Carly shook her head and took a guzzle. She started to sputter but I stopped her quickly.

“It’s red, it will stain your dress.”

Carly snapped her mouth shut quickly. The quiet interlude gave me a chance to look her over completely. “You look beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Really,” I nodded. “There’s never been a more beautiful bride.”

“Do you think I can do this?”

“I think you can do anything you set your mind to. The question is, do you want to do this?”

“I love Kyle,” Carly admitted.

“I know.”

“I love him more than anything.”

“Then allow yourself the chance to be happy,” I cajoled her.

“What if Harriet makes me miserable, though?”

“Harriet is going to try to make you miserable,” I replied honestly. “You have the power to make her miserable, though, too. You’ll be the wife. You’ll be more important than her.”

“How do you figure?” Carly looked interested.

“You’re the one that controls the sex.”

“That’s true.”

Crisis averted, Carly wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “I couldn’t do this without you.”

“You could, too,” I said uncomfortably.

Carly shook her head vigorously. “No. You’re my best friend. You’re my family. It’s you and me forever.”

I was warmed by her comments, even though I felt a little sappy at the sentiment. “You’re my family, too.”

“Just you, though,” Carly said hurriedly. “I can’t take on the rest of your family. They’re crazy.”

I couldn’t argue with that. Thankfully, we were interrupted by a knock on the door. When Carly’s father entered, he looked more agitated than happy. “Do you know there are nuns out there?”

“It’s a Catholic church,” Carly said irritably. “What did you expect?”

“They’re not wearing those outfits, what do you call them?”

“Habits?” I offered helpfully.

“Yeah, habits. I didn’t realize they were nuns.”

“What did you do?” Carly asked suspiciously.

“I didn’t do anything. I thought the one was pretty and I just gave her a friendly pat on the ass. I would never have done it if I realized she was a nun,” Carly’s dad was properly chagrined – or at least he acted like he was.

I squelched the urge to laugh. Every family has a little bit of crazy in them.

“You grabbed a nun’s ass? Where was mom when you did this?” Carly looked incensed.

“Your mother doesn’t need to know,” her dad cautioned. “It was just an accident.”

“What if the priest doesn’t marry us now?” Carly wailed. “What if he thinks we’re heathens?”

“I promised them another hundred bucks,” her dad answered. “They’ll do the ceremony. They think you need the service to keep you pure, at this point.”

“Because of you,” Carly grumbled.

“I didn’t know she was a nun!”

Once the wedding processional started, I convinced Carly to push her father’s transgression out of her mind. “You can yell at him at the reception.”

“You’re right,” Carly said. “I’m about to get married. That’s what I should be focusing on.”

“Absolutely.”

I started to move towards the door and then glanced back at her. “You’re going to do great.”

“Thank you.”

Carly frowned as she looked me up and down for the first time, finally taking in the whole of my wedding ensemble. “Are you wearing
Catwoman Converse? Where are your shoes? You get back here right now!”

I ignored the order and walked out into the church. I figured the shoes would piss off Harriet – which would be enough for Carly to forgive me once she thought it over. I just
couldn’t wear those awful satin shoes.

As I made my way down the aisle, I caught sight of Eliot as he sat alone in one of the pews. He smiled when he saw me. He smiled wider when he saw my shoes.

The truth is, there is no such thing as happily ever after. There is such a thing as happy, though, and that’s how I felt today. The Force was with us this afternoon – and Carly was going to get the wedding she always wanted, despite the Catwoman Converse. And me? I was going to get lucky after the wedding, and that was more than enough for me today.