5 Nights (Sinful Delights Romance - Boxed Set) (19 page)

"I had a girlfriend who introduced bondage to me in college.  I was living in Chicago at the time.  After experimenting a little with rope bondage, she invited me to a munch,
which is another word for a meeting, and I was intrigued.  After we parted ways, I remained connected with the group that hosted the munch's.  Through that group I befriended a wonderful dominatrix who had been living the lifestyle for over forty years.  We began talking and she helped me find my path."

"A dominatrix, isn't that a woman that beats men?"  Amanda was obviously curious.

"I can answer that one, Chase." Carolyn smiled patiently.  "We prefer to call what we do fulfilling the disciplinary needs of our submissive's, Amanda.  For me, personally, the men that I play with enjoy pain and want a strong woman that is willing to humiliate them."

"I'm a little confused, Chase never mentioned humiliation."  Jessie whispered, keeping her eyes focused on the book, shocked that the words had slipped from her mouth.

"Very astute, Jessie,” Chase said, smiling at her question. “Carolyn and I have very different styles of playing.  I consider myself more into the aspect of a loving master role, while Carolyn appreciates sadomasochism." 

The conversation continued, and Jessie fought to keep her eyes off the gorgeous man talking.  The questions were as diverse as the people in the room and secretly she was enjoying the discussion.  When Chase stopped speaking, she discovered she missed the sound of his voice, and looked up.  Finding his dark blue eyes staring straight into hers forced her to catch her breath.

Pulling her attention away, she realized they hadn't even discussed the book they'd read this week.  She was somewhat grateful, having not read more than a few pages.  Carolyn said they would go over the book next week, almost reading her thoughts.  That gave her a week to catch up.

Chase walked over and reached down to pluck the book off Jessie's lap.  Staring at the cover, he grinned then raised an eyebrow. "Pretty steamy pair."

"Um, yeah, I guess so," she said, fumbling over the words like an awkward teenager.

"So what do you get out of reading these books?  I'm curious why women read these when they could explore with a partner instead." 

"I can't speak for all women."  God, her voice was trembling. This man was definitely not the type she should be interested in.  He made her feel entirely too much.

"What about you, personally?" Lowering down to a knee so they could be on eye level, he rested his chin on his fist as he waited for her to answer.

The scent of his cologne wafted under her nostrils and she felt her mouth water
.  Think, Jessie
. Her heart raced as she tried to consider his words and not the stunning man gazing into her eyes with an expression that left her longing.  "I guess I like to imagine what they feel."

"Wouldn't it be more exciting to experience what they feel?" His eyes searched her face.

"It's safer to read about it," she admitted, her ability to think slowly disintegrating as she lost herself in his stare.

Chuckling softly, he stood up, still staring down into her eyes.  "Perhaps safer, but not as memorable."  Holding out his hand, he helped her stand.

Swallowing repeatedly, she couldn't deny the jolt of pleasure his warm hand combined with his words forced her to feel.  She lowered her eyes. The intensity revealed in his gaze left her knees shaking. "Maybe." The soft-spoken words came out as a squeak and she felt awkward and confused.

"Feel like getting out of here and going for coffee?" Chase winked.

There were a dozen reasons why she should have said no, but she decided honesty was the way wanted to go. "I could handle some." Perhaps she should have chosen a better phrase. The wicked smile on his face made her think he thought she was discussing more than a drink.

"Same here."  His smile broadened. "Do you need to tell your friend's goodnight before we leave?" 

"I do." She smiled shyly.  "I'll be right back."  Shakiness was probably another sign she should make up an excuse not to go, but it was only coffee, she reasoned, not another trip to his dungeon.  Making her way to Amanda, she hugged her.  "Thanks for a fun evening."

"Are you leaving already?  I thought a few of us could crack open some wine after the rest of the group leaves."

"Chase invited me for coffee, and I said yes." She lowered her eyes at her admission, not sure what her friend would think about her leaving with someone like him.

"Carolyn tells me he's a really nice guy," Amanda said, nodding. "I don't see what having coffee could hurt. I'll call you in an hour, just to make sure you made it home." 

"That sounds good. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. There's a new Italian restaurant that opens tomorrow and I'm dying to try it out."  After giving her friend another brief hug, she glanced at her intently. "Take care." 

"I will, and I'll see you around noon?"  She wasn't really worried about Chase trying anything.

"Sounds good. Have fun."  She waved Jessie off with a smile.

Jessie’s nervousness increased as she and Chase made their way down to his sleek sports car. Then, she realized the feeling was anticipation, not nervousness.  She was very aware of him as a man, more so than she'd ever been with Greg and the feeling was new to her.  It had been a long time since she’d allowed herself to think of a man as anything other than a business contact.

"There's a great little coffee shop on Marietta Street, unless you'd like to go somewhere else?"  Turning his eyes to her, his brow furrowed.

For a dominant male, he didn't seem pushy at all.  "Whatever you think is fine with me," she said.  Focusing on her clenched hands in her lap, she just hoped she didn't stumble through a conversation with him.

"Charged words, Jessie, and every dom's dream." He chuckled softly, "You can relax, I promise not to go all alpha male on you tonight."

Unclenching her hands, she shrugged apologetically.  "I trust you." She kept quiet after that comment, until they parked outside the coffee house. Afraid that anything that came out of her mouth would be misinterpreted.  He guided her inside, his hand at the middle of her back, and she was more than aware of it the entire time.

The place was thankfully not overcrowded, which was unusual except for this time of night during the week.  Finding an empty table away from the few people who were there was easy, and he led her to it, even holding her chair out.  "They have great cakes here, if you're interested?"

"Just a coffee for me please. I have to keep up my girlish figure." She laughed self-consciously and tried to remember the last time she'd actually been on a date.

"I think you look perfect." With a wink to her, he waved the waitress over.

They ordered their drinks and he filled up what would have been awkward silence with conversation on normal topics.  He listened intently as she discussed her job.  Jessie couldn't remember the last time anyone had acted this interested in her.

"So what about you?" She was curious about the man behind the club.  "Outside of the club, do you have hobbies?"

"I have many actually, I love to skydive, hike, go to concerts, and even though I'm not a big romance reader, I enjoy reading biographies of famous people."  He stopped to take a breath. 

"Wow, those first few hobbies make you sound like quite the adventurer. I can't say I’ve done much of that sort of thing."  She was more an indoor type of person, but the thought of doing some of those things with another person didn't sound half bad.

"Maybe you'll let me take you some time. Perhaps we could start with a hike. Being surrounded by nature is something everyone should experience." 

"I think I'd like that, as long as we're not talking mountain climbing. I'm not sure I have the endurance for that."  She tried to go running a few times a week, it helped clear her head when a project was stressing her out, but she didn't consider herself a health nut, by any means.

"We'd have to work up to the mountain climbing," he said, grinning. "That's not something you can just jump straight into." 

"Speaking of that," she got his reference immediately, "do you ever have relationships that don't involve that lifestyle?"  That was the real question here for her. He seemed like an incredible man, and he was obviously very educated, but she was just an average girl.

"It's part of who I am, Jessie." He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, seeming to gauge her reaction.

It was hard to hide her disappointment. The truth was, he was the first man since Greg she had an interest in, but the baggage he came with, well, it was a lot to consider. 

He shrugged apologetically and took another sip of his coffee.

"I'll be honest with you, Chase.  Me and sexuality," she paused as she glanced at her coffee cup so as not to meet his eyes, "they don't exactly mesh."  They didn't even live on the same planet, as far as she was concerned.  After Greg she'd suppressed all her sexual needs and kept them in a place in her mind that had a No Entry sign until recently.

"I find that hard to believe Jessie. You're a beautiful woman, and obviously very intelligent, so why would you not explore your sensual nature?"  Perplexed, he studied her face.

"It's a really long story." Laughing nervously, she lifted her cup and took a small sip.

"I have all the time in the world, unless you'd rather not share?" Chase raised an eyebrow. "I admit it Jessie, I'm curious about you."

She concentrated on her drink for a few minutes as she tried to decide how much she was willing to reveal to this man.  "If you really want to know, I guess I don't mind sharing."  It wasn't a huge secret, even though she'd only shared it with Amanda. 

"I do. Would you like to go to one of my favorite spots to talk about it? The coffee shop will be closing soon.  I promise I'm not taking you back to my dungeon."  He grinned at her nod.  Walking to the counter, he settled the bill and ordered them two cups to go.

Amanda called as she arrived at the car, and she was a little amazed an hour had already passed.  She quickly told her everything was fine, and promised to meet her for lunch.  She enjoyed the companionable silence as Chase drove her to their destination.

She was surprised when they arrived on top of Lookout Mountain.  It was one of her favorite views of the city below and a place she visited a few times.  "I love this place," she smiled as they got out of the car.

"Same here. There's something incredible about looking over the city but being away from it at the same time.  Give me a moment and I'll grab us a blanket."  Moving to his trunk, he released the latch and pulled it out.

She laughed softly at his preparedness.  "So do you always carry a blanket around in your trunk?"  She should probably be offended, she thought, but somehow she couldn’t be.

"I carry blankets, bottled water, and medical supplies all the time.  On hikes, you never know what you might need."  They spread the blanket together and sat down.  "So tell me the story of your life, Jessie." He leaned back on his muscular arms and waited for her to begin.

"You surprise me Chase," she felt guilty for jumping to conclusions.  He didn't seem concerned so she followed his lead.   Leaning back on her elbows, she looked up at the night stars.  She wasn't sure how to tell the story, so she began at when she and Greg first starting dating in high school.  Walking him through the years of their relationship, she realized her heart no longer ached at losing him. She left it at her mother's battle with the addiction that finally claimed her life.

"About Greg," he said, "The breakup was probably hard on both of you.” 

"It was. He was really a nice man, and I know he couldn't change who he was. I only wish he'd discovered his homosexuality earlier in life." 

"None of us can change what we long for, Jessie."  Reaching up, he pulled a strand of hair away from her eyes and smiled warmly.

It was definitely to his credit that he had such an open mind.  She had never encountered homosexuality before Greg, but she believed every person had the right to make his or her own decisions.  "I know Greg never felt comfortable with me as a woman."

"It wasn't you, Jessie. I hope you understand that.  He was gay, and there was nothing you or any other woman could have done to change that fact." 

"I guess I do still worry it was something I couldn't give him that made him turn out that way."  She'd never admitted that to another living soul, and saying it out loud was truly freeing.

"Jessie, how long have you been carrying that around?  Trust me, it was nothing you did or didn't do. It was who he was.  You're a beautiful woman, and until you understand that about your relationship with him, it will be impossible to move forward."

For the first time in her life, she wanted to believe it wasn't her fault.  Maybe it was the moonlight, or the fact that she was lying on a blanket with a gorgeous hunk of a man. Or maybe she finally realized she knew, somewhere deep in her subconscious, that she didn't have that much power over any person’s decisions.  Whatever it was, it felt like a weight lifted from her shoulders.

"It's been a long night. I should probably get you home so you can rest." 

She was disappointed that he wanted to call an end to the night, and worried that she might have offended him.  "I hope I didn't say something wrong," she nibbled her lower lip nervously.