IF ONLY YOU KNEW
Secret Cravings Publishing
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A Secret Cravings Publishing Book
ONLY YOU KNEW
© 2011 by Jamallah Bergman
E-book Publication: November 2011
by T. Hayes
by Rene Flowers
cover art and logo copyright © 2011 by Secret Cravings Publishing
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED:
literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without
express written permission.
characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual
persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
would like to dedicate this story to anyone and everyone who has ever had a
special someone from their past with whom they had wished they could have that
second chance with. It’s never too late for second chances.
my family, for putting up with me throughout the years, I want to thank you for
being there for me through thick and thin and always believing in me.
my “online friends” Chris, Debbie, Theresa, Mary and Helen. Without these great
ladies that I have known for years on end, without their guidance and helpful
ideas, I don’t know how I would be able to live throughout all of the hardships
that I have had throughout my life. I love you all very much and I thank you.
also want to dedicate this story to a very special person who this story is
really about. This guy was and I still consider him to be a very special
someone in my life back in the day and always held a special place in my heart.
Throughout all the bad times I had in school, he was always there to make me
smile and laugh. I want to thank him, even though to this date he doesn’t know
that I cared for him so much, without him always being in my thoughts, this
story would probably never have been written.
IF ONLY YOU KNEW
Copyright © 2011
“All I know is this, Superman can
beat Batman any day of the week!”
I had to do a double take when he
said it because of all the stupid things to say that had to be the most stupid
of them all.
“Have you gone mental man?”
“Listen, the only reason you’re looking
at me like that is because of the simple fact that you know it’s true,” he said,
tipping his beer bottle then slowly coming back at me with that notorious smile
This was one of many nights where we
would go to a bar with a couple of friends, or just us two, and we would talk
about the stupidest shit that anyone ever thought of.
Tonight’s topic of discussion was
Cartoons and Comic Book Characters.
“Don’t you know that Superman has a
weakness? Batman doesn’t have any weakness whatsoever, you nut!” I told him
while our friend Andrew came back to the table.
“What did he say now?”
“He said that Superman can beat
Andrew started laughing as he sat
down next to Marie, “Come on, Marley, now you know better than anyone that it’s
Spiderman who could beat Superman. Batman has a weakness and that is his
identity. If anyone was to find out that he was Bruce Wayne, then the whole
concept of him being Batman would be null and void.”
That’s when he started to laugh,
something that I always seemed to enjoy. He had a hearty laugh that seemed to
fill my stomach and make me just as full of laughter as he was. I don’t think I
had ever heard a laugh like his before and really, truly I hoped I never would.
“Alright, alright, I have an
announcement to make. I didn’t want to say anything until I thought it was the
right time, but I think that it’s a good time now,” said Richard as he got up
from his chair.
I looked up at him and that’s when he
looked down at me with those steely green-gray eyes. Yeah, I said it, green-gray.
Not blue-green or green-blue but I called them green-gray because when he was
happy that’s what color they were, but when he got mad or upset, they turned
gray like steel. I don’t think I have ever seen a color like that before.
God, I could spend eternity looking
into those eyes.
“Well, for some time now, I haven’t
been around you guys like I use to be; actually, this is like the first in a
couple of months since we have all been out together. The reason for that is
because, well, I’ve been seeing someone special.” Richard smiled.
“So when are we going to meet this ‘girl’
of yours Rich?” Marie smirked, sipping her mixed drink as she elbowed my side.
“She’s supposed to be on her way. I
told her I wanted you guys to meet because I talk about you all the time. She
is amazing and hot man, I swear to you, she is awesome as hell. You’re going to
like her, I promise,” he said.
I could feel a pit slowly forming
deep within my stomach, yeah that’s what it was, a bottomless pit. God, why do
I have to put myself through this mess every single time he tells us that he’s
found another woman?
“I told her a lot about you too,
Marley. Hell, she’s just excited about meeting all of you guys.”
Well that’s just great, not only is
this woman happy to meet his friends, she’s excited about meeting me…hooray for
“So where did you meet her?” I asked,
downing my drink in one big gulp.
“She came to my studio wanting some
shots done for her portfolio, and Bobby Packard told her to come to me. So, we
did some shots, she loved them, and I asked her if she wanted to go out for
lunch or something. She said ‘sure’ and well, it’s been a little slice of
“Well as long as you’re happy.” I
said. Smiling my “oh I am so happy for you even though I can’t wait to meet her”
“Richard!” shouted a woman from the
direction of the front door.
I didn’t want to look in that
direction, God only knew what I would see if I looked that way. If I did look,
I knew the bottomless pit expanding in my stomach would soon start staking
claims for real estate.
“Damn man, that girl is fine as
hell!” said Andrew as the woman walked towards our table.
She came over and gave Richard a big
hug and an even bigger kiss. She was gorgeous; I had to admit that. She had the
full package, nice brown curly hair, nice porcelain white skin, nice pretty,
white smile, and nice figure.
She was way too nice.
“I hope I’m not late. I had a hard
time finding this place, Richard.” She smiled as she took off her jacket,
revealing a tight little number. Well, at least it was tight to me because I
knew I could never get into anything like that. What the hell was she…a size zero
or something, good grief.
“Everybody, this is Laura Richards.
Laura, this is Andrew Peterson, Marie Wallace, and this is my best friend of
all, Marley Rockford.” Richard said as she started shaking our hands.
“I’m glad that I was able to meet you
y’all, Richard always talks about you guys, and it makes me feel like I’ve
known you guys just as long as he has,” she said in her unique Southern drawl.
The rest of that evening, she talked
about how she went all over the world doing runway shows. How she was able to
meet people as famous as Paris and Nicky Hilton, Donald Trump, and Mary Kate
and Ashley. All I could do was down more and more of the drinks that I had been
ordering. By the time it had gotten really late, I had downed at least 5 wine
coolers…a record in my book.
“I’ve got to go.” I started looking
around for my purse, which was right in front of me, but hell, I was so damn
drunk that I didn’t realize that at the moment.
“You need some help, Marley?” Richard
asked, helping me get my purse. “Yeah, let me help you get a cab. I’ll be right
back, you guys.”
When we stepped outside, the night
air hit my face like a slap as I held Richard’s arm for support.
“Taxi…taxi! So tell me, what you
think of Laura?” he asked, while we waited.
“She seems like a really lovely girl.
She’s very worldly.” I tried to straighten myself.
“I’m glad you liked her, that’s what
mattered to me the most, that you liked her, Marley.”
He meant it this time. I could tell
this time he meant it for real by the way his eyes twinkled and his skin seemed
to glow. He was honestly in love with this woman.
Shit, what am I going to do now?
The taxi pulled up, he opened the
door, and I got inside. I looked up at him, and he chuckled a little then said,
“You need to lay off the drink for a while, Marley Mar.”
He closed the door, and I waved him
off as the cabbie asked, “Where to?”
“473 Abernathy Way.”
I laid my head back, the glow of the
neon lights playing tricks with my eyes as we sped off, going home. All I
wanted was to forget tonight, forget everything said and done. But I knew that
was not going to happen anytime soon. I couldn’t understand for the life of me
why I always put myself through all this unnecessary turmoil with Richard.
Every single time he gets a new woman in his life, the more I grin and bear it.
When I met Richard Collins, we were
both in college.
It was our freshman year and I was
sitting by myself in History class with Mr. Davis. No one wanted to sit with
me, and I kept thinking that it felt so much like High School all over again.
No one wanted to sit next to the fat chick, until
came over to my