A Baby for the Flying Doctor (12 page)

‘Yet throughout it all, I kept thinking about one presenter in particular. One presenter who I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.’

Phemie couldn’t control the butterflies that were going crazy within her. His words were so soft, so gentle, so incredible to hear. Did he have any idea how wonderful his words made her feel? How special? Gil was admitting that he was thinking about her when he shouldn’t be, that she had distracted him from his work, and whilst she felt a smidgen of guilt, her heart soared with elation.

‘Uh…huh…I…um, know the feeling.’ Why did her voice sound so husky? So intimate? So…not like her at all. Phemie glanced up at him, needing to exhale a little as her breathing was become more erratic with each passing second. ‘Gil?’

‘Yes?’

Phemie’s smile was small but personal. Gil liked it—a lot. ‘I think I’m getting to know the keynote speaker much better right now.’

‘Yes.’ It was then he saw it. That look of acceptance in her eyes. Previously, she’d been hard-pressed to even look him in the eyes, instead preferring to examine the top of his chest. ‘Phemie?’

‘Mmm?’ Her heart was pounding so forcefully against her chest she was positive it was about to damage her ribs.

‘Is this OK?’

‘Huh?’ What was he asking her? And how on earth did he expect her to be able to comprehend anything at the moment? Especially when he was looking at her as though he wanted to devour her.

‘Me. Being here.’

‘Here?’ Her breathing was uneven and her gaze kept flicking between his eyes and his mouth, the intense awareness continuing to build and grow.

‘With you.’ He smiled and it was almost her undoing.

‘It’s, uh…’ Her tongue snaked out to wet her lips as she sighed. ‘It’s fine. Whatever it is that I’m saying is fine because I can’t think much right now,’ she babbled.

‘I know the feeling.’ Gil reached out a hand and caressed her cheek, amazed at how perfectly soft her skin felt. ‘You are incredibly beautiful.’

Her mouth formed a little ‘O’ but no sound came out. Instead, she licked her lips again, needing to wet them because of her heavier than normal breathing.

‘I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.’ He cupped her cheek, Phemie’s breath catching at his touch. He leaned in further, his breath fanning her face as he spoke, oh so softly. It was intoxicating having him this close!

‘I’ve thought about it a lot,’ he continued. ‘About how your mouth would feel against mine. About how you would taste. About how, if I allow myself to follow through on such an impulsive action, I’d be opening Pandora’s box.’

At hearing these words, words which were spoken with depth and emotion, Phemie started to tremble. He found her attractive? He wanted to kiss her? If he followed through on the action, what did it mean? What would happen next? She was so used to having her life all neatly mapped out before her and yet from the moment she’d met Gil, her schedule had been thrown into disarray.

Kissing him was what she wanted. It was what she’d thought about and she’d rationalised that it was OK, mainly because she hadn’t expected him to be doing the same thing. She simply hadn’t expected a man like Gil, with his knowledge of the world, with his experience, with his standing in the medical community, to want someone like her. Yet he’d just declared as much and there was truth in his looks.

‘Gil.’ His name was a caress on her lips and it was all he needed. That final moment of acceptance, that she was ready for
this to happen. Was he, though? This would be the first woman he’d romantically kissed since his wife, June.

He looked at Phemie’s lips. Parted, pink and ready for him. He was about to kiss another woman and it felt right. It felt
so
right.

Phemie’s head was spinning. She was about to be kissed by a man, something that hadn’t happened to her in a very long time. Something she wasn’t sure she was ready for, but by the same token if he stopped now, she was sure she’d self-combust from anticipation alone.

‘Phemie.’ Her name was barely audible on his lips but as his mesmerising gaze dipped from her eyes to her mouth, she swallowed. She was ready. She was willing and she was more than able to fulfil her fantasy of kissing him.

Within the next second his mouth was on hers, and she slowly released the breath she hadn’t even been conscious of holding. Neither of them moved for that first incredible moment, wanting to absorb all the sensations surrounding them.

He cupped her cheek, angling her head towards him, holding her in place as he savoured her flavours. So sweet, so tender, so fresh. The woman was everything he’d imagined and more. As he parted her lips, he found her a willing participant, eager to go with him on this journey, to attempt to discover exactly what this thing was that existed between them.

Still, he knew he needed to keep his self-control completely in check. He wasn’t ready for anything more than this and neither was she. This attraction between them had sprung up out of nowhere and whilst they were both acknowledging it, the fact remained that he didn’t live in this country and he wasn’t the type of man to use a woman for his own needs.

The sensations, the explosions of fireworks that seemed to fill the room as his mouth continued to explore hers were definitely unexpected. Although his touch was soft, delicate and to the point of being so light she could barely feel it at times, Phemie
was too scared to move in case he stopped. She didn’t want him to stop. The unhurried exploration of each other gave every emotion time to pass through her before exploding in a blaze of light. She felt as though she was floating, dizzy, giddy on the intoxication that was Gil.

The sensations were so refined, so minute, so intimate. His hand was warm at her cheek with only the slightest pressure to keep her close, and as she leaned into his touch, she heard him moan with repressed hunger.

Slowly, he edged back. The energy, the needs were intensifying and the fact that he was in a hotel, his mouth on hers, not even sure what his name was any more, was an indication that things had just become very complicated. Self-control. He needed to remain in control of the situation. If he remained in control of his faculties then he could cope with this mild flirtation—because that’s all it could ever be. At least, that’s what he needed to tell himself.

With one last taste, Gil eased back, his thumb rubbing almost imperceptibly across her cheek before he slowly removed his hand, unable to brush his fingers across her slightly swollen lips. She kept her eyes closed as her breathing returned to normal and as he sat there, looking at her, marvelling at just how beautiful she was, he was hard-pressed not to return his mouth to hers for a second kiss. The urge to throw caution to the wind was starting to overpower him.

He had to retreat before he risked causing them both pain.

He stood so abruptly he almost knocked the table over and moved away, striving to put distance between them whilst he regained control over his faculties. Phemie watched him, saw the look of determination on his face and came to the conclusion that Gil was now regretting what had just happened between them. Pain shot through her but she ignored it. Whilst she wanted him, and the kiss they’d just shared was total evidence of that, she had no room for him in her life.

Yes, they’d both been curious. Yes, they’d both thought about it and, yes, the attraction was still very much there, buzzing between them, but sharing a kiss changed nothing. At least, that’s what she told herself in order to put barriers up between them.

‘Um…’ She searched her mind, forcing her brain to switch back into gear. ‘We don’t need to go over the presentation.’ She shifted uncomfortably, before standing, shifting so she was behind the large winged-back chair. ‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Of course you will. You’re a smart, intelligent woman.’ His tone was more normal, more brisk, more
professor-ish.
Good. Perhaps this meant they were back on a more even keel and could, therefore, move forward as though nothing had happened.

‘Thank you.’

‘And thank you for sharing tea with me. It had a lot of flavour and tasted nothing like dishwater.’ His smile was polite but it didn’t reach his eyes. Both of them were avoiding the topic, the one that would take them back to a place they’d best leave alone. Their easygoing camaraderie had vanished yet the memory of what had transpired was still uppermost in both their minds.

‘You’re more than welcome.’ The awkwardness was so thick you could have sliced it with a scalpel.

Gil took a step towards the exit. ‘I’d best go. You need to get back to your room and sleep.’

‘As do you. You have a far busier schedule than I do.’

‘True. Well.’ He nodded politely to her. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Euphemia.’

‘Thank you, Professor.’

At the use of his title, Gil raised one eyebrow but didn’t make any other comment. ‘Goodnight,’ he added, before turning and walking towards the main hotel lobby.

Slowly, as he walked towards the bank of lifts, the realisation of what had just happened hit him with full force. He’d kissed another woman. A woman who wasn’t his wife. A woman who wasn’t June.

The pain of losing his wife and daughter had torn his heart to shreds. He’d locked himself away. He’d focused on work. He’d had one person after another telling him that in time he would move on. That in time his heart would heal and that he’d one day be able to love again.

He hadn’t believed them.

Now, though…he was torn with a mixture of emotions. Part of him was proud that he’d managed to take that step. That after four years he was not only interested in another woman but had actually kissed her. Yet the other part felt as though he’d betrayed June. He’d kissed another woman. He’d moved on with his life and he’d left June behind. She didn’t deserve that.

He took the lift back to his suite, where he kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed, hands behind his head as he looked at the ceiling. It had taken him years to get over June’s death and until the moment he’d pressed his mouth to Phemie’s, he hadn’t thought he had. He’d had some idea that sackcloth and ashes would be the normal way of his life and yet, without realising it, he’d moved on.

He’d somehow moved away from needing June lying beside him in the bed, hearing little Caitie breathing from the crib. He’d sold their house, he’d bought an apartment in Bath, not far from the hospital, and he’d locked himself and his memories away.

To find that at some point during the past four years he’d unconsciously moved on left him feeling more than a little guilty. That part of him felt hollow whilst the other part, the part that could still taste and smell Phemie in glorious Technicolor, felt free and elated.

It was all completely ridiculous. He simply didn’t do personal relationships. Not any more. They caused far too much pain when things, beyond your control, went wrong. Perhaps it would be a bad idea to go back to the RFDS base where she worked. Being that close to the woman, working alongside her, without too many distractions, seeing her smile, or the way she brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes, or…

‘No.’ He stopped the thoughts. Personal relationships were out of the question but from a medical perspective he was highly intrigued with the RFDS set-up. To be able to experience it first hand might even assist with his research. Work. Work was what he needed to focus on, not the soft, supple lips of Dr Grainger, yet when he closed his eyes again, the vision of her face was all he could see.

P
HEMIE
knew the only way she’d manage to get through the next few days was to focus on work. Thankfully, being at a medical conference, she was able to do just that. Discussing techniques with other doctors during lunch, looking at trade demonstrations and new products on the market, wishing the RFDS had unlimited funds to buy most of the new products. She filled her time with all those things but mostly she was one hundred per cent aware of avoiding Gil at all costs.

It wasn’t hard, given she felt he was doing the same thing and as keynote speaker all of his time was scheduled down to the last second. If they had happened to be in the same place at the same time, they ignored the gravitational pull that existed between them and instead focused on niceties. He would ask how her nerves were holding up and she would praise him on his latest speech. He treated her the same way he treated all other delegates—with polite enthusiasm—and part of her was a little miffed at that reaction.

She
wasn’t
the same as everyone else. She was the woman he’d kissed so tenderly and yet was treating like she was…just another person. Phemie knew her reaction was ludicrous. Of course Gil, professional that he was, wouldn’t treat her any differently in front of other delegates simply because there might be the far-off possibility that he had an emotional attachment to her.

If he’d walked in, hauled her into his arms then dipped her backwards before planting a big smoochy kiss on her mouth, well…Phemie’s breathing increased just thinking about it. She closed her eyes and worked at controlling herself before focussing on what was happening up on the podium.

It would be her turn soon. After the next break, she would be required to take the lead and present her work to the entire conference. Mentally she ran through her presentation again, hoping beyond hope that her computer didn’t falter, that the laser pointer would work, that there wouldn’t be a blackout.

Her anxiety rising, she quietly slipped out the side door of the convention room and dragged in a deep breath. She needed some air. Fresh air.

Sure steps took her towards the nearest balcony and within a minute she was breathing in the crisp yet polluted Sydney air. It had been raining but instead of the fresh, cleanness outback rain brought, here in the city the May shower had brought a certain mustiness. It didn’t matter. Phemie gripped the edge of the balcony railing and closed her eyes, wishing she could breathe the fresh outback air. She was a long way from home and she knew it. Still, it wouldn’t be long until she returned, back to the wide open spaces and her calm, contented life.

Gil would be coming back with her. She’d managed to arrange it all quite easily and now everything was settled. He would be there. With her. At her place. She knew that. Accepted it as fact. It was only for one week. She could cope. Then he would leave and she would put him from her mind and get on with what she did best—helping other people. He would be on the other side of the world and he would no doubt forget—No. She shouldn’t be thinking of Gil right now. She focused hard, doing some mental gymnastics to get her mind back in order again.

‘Phemie?’

She jumped almost sky high as she spun around, slipping on
the slight wetness underfoot but managing to right herself almost immediately. Gil was by her side in an instant, his arms outstretched to her.

‘Are you all right? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’

‘I’m fine.’ She took a step away from him, needing the distance. ‘What are you doing out here? You should be inside, listening to…’ She stopped and shook her head. ‘You know what? Do whatever you want. I need to go in now.’ She stepped away, making sure her footing was sure and steadfast, given she wasn’t used to wearing high-heeled shoes.

‘Phemie. Wait.’

She turned and looked at him expectantly.

‘Are you angry with me?’

‘Angry? Why would I be angry?’ There was veiled sarcasm in her tone. ‘You say you’re my friend, you kiss me and then you brush it aside as though it never happened.’

‘I’ve been a little—’

‘Busy. I know. It’s fine. Listen, I need to go and calm myself down before my presentation.’ Another step towards the door but this time he moved like lightning and was there before her, holding the door open.

‘I didn’t mean to add to your nervousness. I had to take a call so was already out of the convention room when I saw you leave. I simply wanted to ensure you were feeling all right. With regard to the matter of the other evening…’ He paused and exhaled harshly, as though he was cross, but she got the feeling he was more cross with himself than with her. ‘I would like to apologise if I’ve hurt or confused you in any way. That was never my intention.’

‘It’s fine, Gil. Really.’ She walked back into the warmth of the convention centre.

‘William tells me we’re all set to go on Wednesday.’

‘William’s coming with you?’ She was surprised at this news.

‘No. By “we” I meant us.’

‘Right. Yes. It’s all been cleared for you to come back to the Didja base with me.’ She made sure her words were calm, controlled and concise, not wanting to tell him how her boss had gushed at the thought of having such a prestigious doctor taking an interest in the RFDS. Gil’s ego had been stroked more than enough during the conference. He didn’t need more. ‘We’ll meet nice and early in the lobby. I think the flight is booked for six am. It’ll be a long day of travelling so don’t party too much.’

‘I won’t. I assure you.’ His smile was equally as polite and Phemie nodded before turning away from him again. ‘Uh…just one more thing.’

She turned, trying to remain calm. So much for getting her thoughts into gear. So much for focusing on the task at hand. All she was conscious of was Gil’s light, spicy cologne, the warmth emanating from his gorgeous body and the way he made her knees turn to jelly when he looked at her the way he was doing right now.

‘You’ll do absolutely fine with your presentation.’

‘How do you know? You haven’t heard it.’

‘I just know. Trust me on that and to combat the nerves, just do what I do.’

‘What? Picture the audience in their underwear?’

‘Heavens, no.’ He gave a nervous chuckle at that idea. If he’d pictured Phemie in her underwear when he’d been speaking at the podium, he’d more than likely have had a stroke because she had an incredible body. In fact, he had to school his thoughts right now from picturing her in her underwear. ‘Just before I’m about to stand up to speak, I bite my tongue, blink five times, squeeze my little fingers and snort.’

Phemie looked at him with utter incredulity before bursting out laughing. ‘Do you really?’

‘No, but having someone make me laugh does help. Usually I call on William but during the past year I’ve heard all his jokes and, believe me, they weren’t that good to start with.’

Phemie’s smile was bright and natural and Gil hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed seeing it.

‘Dr Grainger?’ One of the conference organisers came over. ‘We’ll be ready for you soon. If you’d like to get your things and come this way?’

‘OK.’ Phemie took a few steps away but looked at Gil over her shoulder. ‘Thanks.’

‘You’re welcome.’ His smile was natural and gorgeous and she felt her knees starting to wobble again. ‘Break a leg.’

‘I guess you can feel quite safe saying that at a medical conference, but here in Australia we say “Chookas” instead.’

‘Really?’ The look he gave her said he wasn’t sure whether or not she was pulling his leg. ‘Well…in that case, er…chookas, Dr Grainger.’ The smile on her face made her eyes sparkle and Gil felt the full effect, recalling just how intoxicating those lips of hers really were.

‘Thank you, Professor.’ As she turned and walked away, Phemie couldn’t believe how much brighter she felt. Her nerves had all but disappeared and she was more than ready to stand in front of the delegates and give her presentation. And it was all thanks to Gil.

Phemie didn’t see him again until Wednesday morning when they met in the hotel lobby before the sun had started to rise, in readiness for travelling to the airport to begin their journey to Didja.

‘Good morning, Euphemia.’ Gil greeted her with cheery politeness.

‘How many cups of tea have you already had?’ she asked, slumping down in the chair and pulling a face at his overly bright attitude.

‘Only two cups of what you term “dishwater” this morning.’

Phemie sighed, a small smile touching her lips. ‘Well, I’ve had no tea and no coffee either, so please stop being all sunshiny.’

Gil’s lips twitched. ‘Not a morning person, then?’

‘More like a “don’t disturb my sleep” sort of person.’

‘Yet you’re a doctor. That’s a profession guaranteed to have high sleep deprivation.’

‘Yet it rarely happens that we get called out to emergencies in the wee small hours of the morning.’ She let her eyes drift shut but was more than aware of every move, every breath Gil took. How could she be so in tune with him? She’d known him for less than a week and this was the reaction she was having towards him. Imagine what she’d be like after the coming week in the outback…alone…together!

‘You were the one who set the flight times,’ he pointed out with complete logic. ‘I’m sure we could have taken a later flight, thus giving you time to sleep.’

She opened her eyes. ‘Actually, the morning flights are the only ones that go direct between the state capital cities. Other than that, we would have been flying from Sydney to Melbourne then to Adelaide then to Perth, where we would switch to the smaller aircraft to fly from Perth to Kalgoorlie and then drive to the base. The trip would have been completed when the sun had already set and as you mentioned that you don’t necessarily like to fly…’ She trailed off.

‘Yes. Yes. I accept the early hour.’ Gil shook his head, trying to remain positive in light of hearing her outline their travel plans. He knew it was going to be a long day, most of it spent in the confines of a plane, but for some reason, having Phemie Grainger sitting beside him was definitely taking the edge off the loathing he felt for flying.

Phemie yawned and closed her eyes. ‘As it’s going to be a long day’s travelling, the sooner it’s over, the better.’ She sighed and relaxed further into the softness of the chair.

Gil watched her for a moment before calling over a hotel staff member. He spoke in hushed tones and then returned his full attention to the tired yet highly alluring woman before him. ‘You don’t like to travel?’

Phemie opened an eye for a second then closed it. ‘Oh, I like travelling. I just prefer doing it to my own schedule. If the planes would run at exactly the times I wanted, I’d be more than happy. Perhaps even chipper.’

‘You’re a planner, eh?’

‘A meticulous planner. My mother used to call me…’ she yawned again, her eyes barely open ‘…Miss Hospital Corners when I was growing up.’

‘Fairly apt, now, given you’re a doctor.’

‘That’s what she thinks.’ Phemie sat there, allowing her body a few more seconds of sleep. ‘Oh.’ She sat bolt upright and stared at Gil. ‘Was I supposed to organise a taxi or have you alr—?’

‘It’s been taken care of.’

Phemie relaxed back in the chair again. ‘Thank you.’

‘Ah. Here we are,’ Gil said, and this time Phemie really opened her eyes, smelling the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He waved his hands in a flourish. ‘Ta-dah. This should help you.’

‘Coffee?’

‘Croissants and fruit, too,’ he pointed out with a smile.

‘Where? How?’ Phemie watched as two staff members set the small coffee table between the lounge chairs with the food and drink Gil had somehow ordered.

‘Here.’ He poured her a cup of coffee. ‘Milk? Sugar?’

‘Black is fine.’ She held out her hand and eagerly accepted his offering. ‘Thank you. That was very thoughtful.’ Why did he have to be that way? It only made him more endearing.

His gaze encompassed Phemie, his tone intimate and soft as he watched her sip the dark liquid. ‘But remember, if you get sleepy today, feel free to rest your head on my shoulder.’

Phemie was pleased and surprised by his words. ‘Uh…I’ll keep that in mind.’ Even the thought of doing that brought warmth to her body and a pale pink tinge to her cheeks.

‘I hope you do.’ There was a deep promise behind his eyes and it was one that told her he thought of her as more than just a friend. Yes, he’d declared they were friends and she’d agreed, but both of them were kidding themselves if they thought that’s all it was between them. Still, for now, for the moment, friendship was good. She didn’t need to run from him if it was just friendship, she didn’t need to keep her guard up if it was just friendship, she didn’t need to constantly be justifying her emotions to herself if it was just friendship.

Years ago, when she’d still dreamed of one day getting married and having children of her own, she had decided that her children would be the best of friends and the best of enemies. They would argue and laugh together. They would share and squabble. They would be normal siblings and she would be their loving mother who ensured they worked out all their differences so they could remain friends throughout adulthood.

She had no idea whether Gil had brothers or sisters and that just highlighted how little she really knew this man who was constantly in her thoughts. Seeing him with Anthony, how he’d treated her brother with respect and friendliness, had improved her opinion of him. Seeing him at the conference and the way he’d neatly fielded questions, spoken with enthusiasm and had given even the lowest in the medical hierarchy his undivided attention had improved her respect for him. Seeing how he was so thoughtful where she was concerned had improved her love for him.

Love!

Her eyes bugged wide open at that and she must have made a little sound as Gil immediately turned to look at her.

‘Phemie? Are you all right?’

‘Uh…’ She looked away and swallowed. ‘I’m fine.’ She forced a smile. ‘Coffee’s still a little hot. Burnt my tongue,’ she lied, whilst her mind completely rejected her previous thoughts. Love? No. She wasn’t that insane. It would be ridiculous to fall in love with a man she barely knew who lived on the other side
of the world…especially when falling in love wasn’t in her plan. Not at all.