A Beautiful Dark (27 page)

“I know that Devin doesn’t have any choice,” he said, “and I see how much that hurts him. And I know you’re stuck between two choices, and you don’t exactly have a conscious say in the matter. Your powers will take over when it really counts.

“But
I
have a choice, Skye. I have the power to choose whatever I want. And there is nothing that I’ve ever wanted more.” He gulped. I could feel it beneath me.

We were quiet for a few minutes. I leaned my head on his chest and listened to the sound of his breathing.

“You don’t have a heartbeat,” I realized.

“Does that bother you?” he asked.

“No.” I thought for a minute. “As long as you can feel things and care about things.”

“It’s a misconception that you need a heart to love,” Asher whispered into my hair.

I looked at him, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners even though his mouth stayed so serious. He had a little dimple near the left side of his chin.

I kissed him, and he wrapped the heavy wool blanket tighter around us as the moon rose brighter in the sky.

Chapter 34

I
usually slept late on Sundays, but something woke me up that morning. I was out of bed and halfway to the bathroom to get ready for school before I realized that what woke me wasn’t my alarm clock at all. It was sirens passing on the road. I got back into bed.

The sunlight filtered through my curtains and sliced its way across my face, making it hard to fall back asleep. I couldn’t make my eyes stay closed even for a second. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The glow-in-the-dark stars I’d stuck up there as a kid looked so different in the light than they did in the dark. Now they just looked like stickers.

I felt like a different person from the one who’d stuck them up there all those years ago. I’d changed so much, even in just a few weeks.

Turning over in bed, I wondered if maybe Asher was right, that whatever was in me had always been there in some form. I had obviously awakened it. I now needed to learn to control it, to figure out if it was the powers of the light or the dark. I hoped that was something I could do.

I got up and wandered down to the kitchen to make coffee, reveling in the little things that I had always loved but taken for granted: the smell of the wooden staircase, the smooth banister as my fingers glided over it, the geometric pattern that the light made as it filtered through the big plate glass windows in the open living room behind me, the feel of tile under my bare feet, the crunch of coffee grinds as I scooped them from the pouch, the earthy smell as the steam plumed from the pot, and water through the filter sounding like soda being sucked through a straw. The quiet as I poured coffee into a mug. The light clink of spoon against ceramic as I stirred in milk.

I brought my mug back up to my room and sat in the big overstuffed armchair by the bay window, pulling my legs up underneath me.

The light filtered in the window at a certain slant just at that moment, catching something metallic that glittered at me from my bookshelf. I stood up and walked over to it.

It was my birthday present from Cassie and Dan—the one I’d never opened. I reached up to the top shelf and took it down.
Happy Birthday, Skye!
was still scrawled across the top in goopy-looking glitter glue. For some reason, looking at it now made me inexplicably sad. I took a letter opener from the mug of pens on my desk and carefully slid it through the tape that was keeping the tinfoil in place. I smiled, picturing Dan wrapping this thing, not having a clue as to what to do.

The tinfoil fell away, and I finally saw what was inside. It was an iPod plug for my car. It was such a thoughtful present—I was the only person we knew who still listened to the radio. My heart fluttered in my chest. I knew my life would never be that simple again.

Restless from the coffee, I went back down to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast and try to clean the house a little bit. How long had it been since Aunt Jo had left? I had completely lost track of time.

I’d managed to pick up all the empty red cups and mop the kitchen and hallway before taking a break to make myself a bowl of cereal. I was reading the back of the box when the phone rang.

The drive to River Springs County Hospital wasn’t one I’d ever made on my own. In fact, the last time I’d been there was when I was six, and that time, I was in the back of an ambulance. A memory flooded through me as I passed road sign after road sign.

“Stay with me, Skye. Come on, stay with me, girl.”
I was lying on a stretcher, and I couldn’t move any part of me. I was crying, but my tears kept running in between my cheeks and this plastic thing that was covering my mouth and helping me breathe. I was breathing very fast. I kept trying to ask where my parents were, but my words got trapped in the plastic thing, too. The nurse held my hand next to me and told me I had to calm down. I had to stop crying. She said, “Stay with me, Skye. Come on.” I wondered how she knew my name.

“Skye!” Dan was waiting for me in the lobby. He jumped up when he saw me run through the automatic doors. He looked devastated, his eyes bloodshot with the hint of tears. “I’m so glad you’re here. Hospitals freak me out.”

“Is she okay?” I asked hoarsely, feeling tears begin to swell in my own eyes.

Dan looked crestfallen. “She’s unconscious. The doctors say they think she’ll be okay, but she hasn’t woken up yet.”

We walked to the reception desk, where I signed in.

“I hate hospitals, too,” I said, shivering.

There were
gurneys everywhere. “Where’s my mom?” I asked frantically when I figured out that all I had to do to be heard was pull the plastic thing off my mouth. “Where’s my dad?” I was sobbing and sobbing. All I knew was what the nurse had told me: they were in a different ambulance right in front of ours. They were on stretchers, too. The nurse reached for me and held the plastic thing in place. I tried to breathe normal like she told me, but it was hard. “Where are they?” I wanted to scream. “Which stretcher is them?” But no one could hear me. My words got trapped in my breathing, which stayed in the plastic thing and traveled away down many tubes.

Cassie was in room 512. All down the hall, there were people in wheelchairs, people hooked up to oxygen tanks, people with IVs stuck in their arms. There were gurneys everywhere. My breath caught in my chest, shallow and quick. I knew I was sweating, and I was starting to see black spots in front of me. I pushed open the door. I’d had a room just like that one. Eleven years ago, almost exactly.

Cassie’s mother, Evelyn, looked as though she’d aged a hundred years. I hugged her tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

When we separated, she explained that Cassie’s two brothers, Charlie and Matty, were upset and rowdy, so Cassie’s dad had taken them down to get Jell-O in the cafeteria.

As I moved toward the bed, I cringed, trying not to let it show. Cassie had a black eye and bandages all over her arms. One leg was covered by a thin white blanket while the other hung suspended from the ceiling in a cast. She was asleep.

“Cassie,” I whispered. “What happened to you?”

Evelyn placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Her brakes weren’t working,” she whispered. “She spun out and hit a lamppost. That damn gas station did a hell of a job fixing her car!”

“The gas station didn’t fix it,” I said, something dawning on me. “I’ll be right back.”

I knew they were somewhere in the hospital. If I was there, they couldn’t be too far behind. I scoured the halls. I took the elevator to each floor, searching for any hint of feathers, dark or light hair. Anything.

Devin was a Guardian. Devin had the power to heal. Devin could heal Cassie. He could make her better. I would make him do it.

I found them in the lobby, hovering by the reception desk. Asher looked worried. Devin’s expression was harder to read. Did he already know her destiny? No, I wouldn’t believe that. I wouldn’t allow her to die.

When Asher saw me, he ran to me and let me throw myself against his chest. “Is she okay?” he asked. “Is she badly hurt?”

“She’s in a coma,” I said. “Or asleep, or unconscious. I don’t know. She hasn’t woken up yet. Devin! You have to heal her! You have to fix her, okay? Come on!”

Devin looked confused. “What?”

“She’s in room five twelve. Come on! Why are you being so slow? Let’s go!”

A strange look crossed his face. “I can’t,” he said awkwardly. “I can’t heal her. I haven’t been given the order to do so.”

“The order?” I repeated.

I haven’t been given the order to do so.

The Order.

“Yes,” Devin said warily as if I might hurt him. “I can’t heal her unless the Gifted command me to.”

His words reminded me just how much of a puppet he really was. I could never align myself with the Order. Never. Not if that’s what it meant. I’d choose to become a Rebel right now, whether or not my powers agreed.

“There’s nothing you can do?” I asked slowly, pointedly. “You got her car to start, after all. Did the Gifted command you to do that?”

“The Gifted have circuitous ways of working sometimes, Skye,” he said emphatically. “It’s not always immediately clear what their intentions are. We have to trust them. It will all come to light soon.”

“But what if Cassie doesn’t wake up?” I asked, horrified. “What if she . . . ?” I couldn’t finish the sentence. What if she died, just like my parents had? What if Cassie left me, too?

“Then it will all be part of the master plan,” Devin finished. I couldn’t speak.

“I told you, Skye.” Asher was getting worked up. “I told you the Order works in frightening ways. They don’t care about anyone.”

“We work for the greater good of the world,” Devin retaliated. “We keep life in balance.”

“You don’t care about life!” I shouted. “You don’t care about anyone’s lives! I bet you don’t even care about mine.”

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

“That’s not true. Not if you’ll do only what the Order gives you permission to do.”

“Skye, how can you say that? I—” A curious expression replaced the mask of complacency he’d been wearing. Even Asher stopped to look. “I have to go,” he said suddenly. “I’m sorry that I can’t cure your friend. I hope you can find another way to help her.” And with that, he turned and walked out through the automatic front doors.

Asher turned to me. “I don’t know what that’s about,” he said helplessly.

Why had he walked out like that? The facts were suddenly arranging and rearranging themselves in my brain. Devin had to follow the direct commands of the Gifted in order to keep the course of fate running according to the Order’s master plan. That meant that someone had to have given him the command to fix Cassie’s car. But why would they do that unless . . . unless they didn’t want to fix Cassie’s car at all. Unless they wanted to cut the brakes. Unless they wanted to hurt Cassie.

“Asher, do you think it’s possible Devin cut the brakes on Cassie’s car?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t check them. I only checked the engine.”

“But why would the Order want him to hurt Cassie?”

“I don’t know,” he said again. “I wouldn’t rule anything out at this point. I’m going to go try to get some truth out of him, and check in with my camp. Stay here, Skye, okay? You’ll be safe here. The Order is changing the rules, and we have to act accordingly.”

“You’re leaving me?” I gasped. “Asher?”

He looked down at me, tracing his thumb across the freckles on the bridge of my nose.

“I’ll be back really soon. Don’t worry.”

And then he was gone.

I tried to think back over the last few days to what could have possibly made the Order want to hurt Cassie. I worked backward. We went to the mall while Devin worked on her car. We saw him at the Shell station. Cassie and I went to Big Mouth’s for brunch. We woke up the morning after the party, with the window open. The party . . . talking to Cassie about the campfire story . . .

Suddenly I stopped cold. Devin had been there when I’d almost told Cassie everything. His creepy stare had been the reason I’d stopped. He’d heard everything. He’d heard me almost spill all of my darkest secrets—and his. He knew Cassie was the only one I’d ever dream of telling. And if he needed me alive but the secrets to remain secrets, the surest way to keep me from telling her would be to kill her.

Could the Devin I’d come to know really be capable of something like that?

Or was Asher trying to turn me away from Devin by making me suspicious? He did have a choice. He could do whatever he wanted. And they’d certainly always been competitive. Especially when it came to me.

I was back to not knowing if I could trust either of them.

Chapter 35

I
returned to Cassie’s room. Her mother had gone to get some coffee, according to Dan, who was there holding Cassie’s hand and whispering to her.

He looked up at me as I moved to the other side of the bed and wrapped my fingers around hers. “I should have told her I liked her a long time ago. I think I’ve loved her forever,” he said.

“She’s going to be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“I just . . .” I wondered if I could make a deal with the Order. Let Devin heal her, and I’ll come to your side—willingly and enthusiastically. Or maybe I could heal her myself if I concentrated hard enough.

I closed my eyes and searched for the well of power that Devin had told me about, tried to find the switch that Asher visualized when he brought forth the elements. This was important. So important. My emotions were ratcheted on high. I had to make this work. I couldn’t lose Cassie. I’d lost my mom and dad. I’d been powerless to do anything for them.

I. Could. Not. Lose. Cassie.

Grief slammed into me at the thought of my life without her. And with it came anger. Why would I go to the Order when they were the kind who would refuse to help someone simply because they hadn’t been given permission? Why wasn’t blanket permission given? See someone who needs to be helped. Help them.