A Beautiful Mess (15 page)

I tortured him just like he’d tortured me only minutes ago. Jason started playing with my nipples which only made me more aroused than I already was. He started thrusting into my hand and I let out a little giggle.

He looked up at me and said, “Something funny?”

I just cocked my head to the side and said, “Payback’s a bitch, don’t you think?”

His eyes got wide and said, “You little sneak.”

As soon as those words left his mouth I leaned and whispered against his ear, “Let’s really give ‘em something to complain about Jason,” and lifting my hips I slammed right down onto him.

He made this groaning, guttural sound and yelled, “FUCK,” at the top of his lungs. Placing my hands on the headboard I moved up and down him quickly.

I never took my eyes off Jason the whole time I bounced up and down on him. I was moving up and down so fast that the bed began to creak and the headboard was slamming against the wall. Four strokes in and I could feel I was going to burst.

Gasping for air I wailed, “I’m coming Jason,” and he started moving his hips up and down and then came inside me and growled, “I love you Ashlynn!”

I fell onto his sweaty chest while Jason rubbed up and down my back soothing me. My eyes were beginning to close when the phone rang again and this time I picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Um, yes, this is management aga-”

I just cut them off and said, “I know. I’m sorry about the noise complaints. We’re done now,” and hung up.

Jason’s chest was vibrating from laughing so hard and he said, “Really?” I couldn’t do anything but laugh at us receiving noise complaints because of our phenomenal sex.

After catching my breath I slid off him and laid down on my side looking at how beautiful he was. Jason sat up in bed and pulled the covers over us and laid down on his side staring at me. No words needed to be said in that moment because with just a look we could tell one another that we both loved each other.

I only closed my eyes for a minute but next thing I knew my alarm was going off the following morning.

Rolling over in bed I saw Jason staring back at me and I giggled. He nudged me onto my back and said, “How are you feeling today?” I started to move around and realized I was actually pretty sore from last night. He must have seen from the way I moved my body because he said, “I’m sorry; I just kind of lost control last night with you.”

I just laughed and said, “Jason, I’m not made of glass. You’re not going to break me. Yes, I’m sore but I enjoyed last night if you couldn’t tell. Plus every time I move my body today images of last night will be coming across in my mind and I’ll have a smile plastered to my face because of it.”

With that explanation Jason kissed me on the lips and then carried me into the bathroom where he washed me as I sat on the built in seat. I told him it wasn’t necessary but he just shook it off and said he wanted to take care of me.

Being a girl I couldn’t help but think because we were going to a wedding today and the way he looked at me and said, “I want to take care of you Ashlynn,” had me thinking that not only did he want to take care of me in the shower but maybe in life as well. But while I wanted to believe him I knew that he wasn’t telling me everything and I wanted to know why.

He must have sensed the hesitation on my face because he said, “I’ll tell you later Ashlynn but right now I want to enjoy our time together.”

His words scared me and I didn’t know what to think and I hated that this had to happen on a day where our friends were getting married.

While Sarah and Gabe were standing before God and their friends and family announcing their love for one another my heart was sinking because I was petrified at what Jason would have to tell me. I had a feeling it would be something to do with his dad or mom. Maybe even the both of them.

I just wasn’t sure and I was scared to death because I didn’t want what happened last time when we were in Florida to happen this time after everything that had happened between us. I didn’t want him to close off from me and ignore me because so much had changed between the two of us.

Everything was going exceptionally between Ashlynn and me. I felt like this could be the real deal which is why I asked her dad for his permission for me to marry her. I knew we wouldn’t get married anytime soon but I knew with all of my heart someday I was going to make her mine. While talking to my dad did some good I was nowhere near ready for thinking about having children and I wasn’t sure I ever would be. I just hoped that Ashlynn would be okay with that when we did get married someday, because I knew that when I looked into my future without a shadow of a doubt Ashlynn was in mine forever.

While I knew I made my own choices in life on what I wanted and who I wanted there was still a small part of me that questioned whether or not I would become just like my dad later in life. Like our time in Florida everything was perfect up until the day of Sarah and Gabe’s wedding. I could see it in Ashlynn’s eyes that she wanted to know just why exactly I had ignored her for a while after Spring Break ended but I didn’t want it to be the day of the wedding so I said, “I’ll tell you later Ashlynn but right now I want to enjoy our time together.”

I thought saying that would put her mind at ease but she flinched back from me and mentally guarded herself as well. I could see it in her eyes and in her demeanor the entire wedding. While she was showing emotion with laughing and crying I could tell that her mind was somewhere else and by somewhere else I mean thinking about what I was going to tell her. It wasn’t a huge secret it was just something I had to deal with before I started a relationship with Ashlynn. I didn’t want to bring in extra baggage to the relationship. That’s the important part and really what she needed to understand.

During the reception Jade walked up to me and asked, “Alright, spill Jason. What’s up with you and Ashlynn?”

I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Not now Jade. I’m really not in the mood to talk at the moment.”

It really made her concerned and she pulled me into a corner and in a serious tone said, “Seriously, what’s going on Jason? You’re kind of scaring me.”

Taking a long gulp of my beer I said, “I still haven’t explained everything that happened with dad to Ashlynn yet. I mean I told her about our childhood and everything but not about the phone call and what happened when we met up with him at the end of the school year.”

Jade’s mouth dropped open at my confession and she was speechless; probably for the first time in her life. Tilting her head to the side in a low voice she said, “You told her about what happened to you?”

Shaking my head I said, “Correction Jade, I told her about what happened to the both of us.” She flinched back and I thought she was going to cry so I pulled her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my middle and then I felt wetness on my shirt and knew my sister was crying.

I put her at arm’s length and asked, “Why are you crying Jade?”

My question just made her cry even more so I pulled her back to me and held onto her so she could calm down and explain to me what was going on. Getting herself under control she said, “I’m sorry Jason.” I didn’t understand where her apology was coming from so I questioned her on it.

Shrugging her shoulders she said, “I’m crying for what happened to you. I’m crying because I didn’t a damn thing to help you when we were little. I’m crying because Ashlynn is my best friend and I never told her. I was just so ashamed of what went on in our household. I was also ashamed that I never did anything to help you and sometimes I feel like our mom. She knew what was going on and she never did anything. Our father beat you and I just stood there and watched, just like her.”

Her lip started to quiver and before I knew it she was crying again.

I quickly pulled her against me and started murmuring reassurance into her ear. “Jade, you are nothing like mom, do you hear me? None of what happened to us is your fault. We were both kids and I don’t blame you for, in your own words, ‘not doing anything.’ I love you Jade and I would do anything for you, I hope you know that. I am positive with every bone in my body that Ashlynn doesn’t hate you. She might be hurt but I know she could never hate you for not telling her what happened to us. You hear me ‘lil sis?”

My question made her giggle and she nodded her head up and down against my chest. She then squeezed me to her and said, “Only by four minutes but I love you big brother.”

Giving Jade one last hug I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ashlynn was looking at us and I knew that I had to tell her as soon as possible what all happened to Jade and I a month and a half ago.

Later that night when we got back to the hotel from the reception we both got undressed and snuggled up in bed. We were both lying on our sides and her back was to my front. My arm was draped over her middle and I knew she could feel my heart beating extremely fast. I was just about to say her name when I heard these little purring sounds and knew that my Ashlynn was asleep. Kissing the back of her head I said, “Goodnight babe,” and drifted off to sleep in the comfort of holding Ashlynn to me.

Upon checking out the next morning we made the drive back to our apartments. I dropped Jade off at the apartment but when Ashlynn was getting ready to get out I placed a hand over hers.

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes and I asked, “Could you come over to my apartment for a little while? I just wanted to talk to you about everything.”

I wanted to take the look in her eyes away so badly because she looked like she was just going to burst into tears any second now but she put on a brave face and nodded her head. As soon as I saw Jade walk into their apartment I drove off to mine. The car ride was silent and it gave me time to collect my bearings to inform Ashlynn on what all exactly happened.

Parking the car I left my bags in the trunk and Ashlynn and I walked into my apartment. I was relieved that Neil wasn’t there because I wanted to do this in private. Ashlynn sat down on the sofa and I went to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

I looked over in Ash’s direction and asked, “Ashlynn, do you want a drink?”

In this timid voice she said, “No, Jason.”

Closing the fridge I walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her. Taking a deep breath I explained everything. “That last night in Florida I received a call from my dad. He asked if we could talk and as much as I didn’t want to I figured I might as well just listen to what he had to say. From what I told you before about mine and Jade’s childhood you know it was pretty difficult having to hear his voice and I was emotionally drained after that short conversation. Truthfully, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to get the future conversation over with before you and I ever started anything because you are extremely important to me, Ashlynn Miller.”

Anyway when we got back to school I called him and he informed that he was dying of cancer. I didn’t know what to say so I just listened to him tell me about how he apologized for everything that he did. How I was nothing like him. He said that I was so much more. He said I was such a better person than him.”

I was still explaining when I felt Ashlynn place her hand on top of mine for comfort and I looked over at her and saw tears falling from her face. I put my other hand to her cheek and used my thumb to wipe away the tears and she gave me a small smile.

Clearing my throat I continued.

“While it was difficult to hear that I knew I had to tell Jade. When I did she pretty much lost it and then informed me that she wanted to see him. She needed to talk to him and come to her own form of closure so that’s what she did. I went with her back to our hometown and was there for her when she talked to our father. I didn’t think seeing him would be all that hard on me but I was wrong. He just looked so fragile and weak and now his outer appearance matched his inner. He apologized profusely to the both of us and asked if we could find it in our hearts to forgive him. He also wanted to be a part of our lives now and be given at attempt to make up for what he did to our childhoods.”

I took a break to let everything seep in with Ashlynn.

A few minutes later she cleared her throat and asked, “What do you want to do Jason?”

I looked over at her and asked, “What do you mean?”

Holding onto my hand she asked, “Do you want to try and build or repair a relationship with your dad?”

Shaking my head I gave her my honest answer. “I don’t know.”

Taking a sip of my bottle of water Ashlynn said, “I’ll be here for you no matter what you choose Jason.”

The only thing I was one-hundred percent positive about was that I would always choose Ashlynn and I told her so.

I got up from the sofa and picked her up in my arms and said, “I’ll always choose you Ash. No matter what,” and then carried her back to my room and closed the door.

That night I showed her just how much I loved her and how deeply I felt about her. I took my time with her, tasting every single bit of her body and touching every part of her I could get my hands on. I had her whimpering and moaning and screaming my name. I had her writhing and coming undone beneath me. There were even a few tears shed and if I had any doubt before telling Ashlynn I knew now that she would be mine forever.

A few hours later we both lay on our sides facing one another and talked into the early morning. Our conversation started with favorite movies, music, and books. We talked about what we both wanted to do over the summer. I got a laugh out of her when I just said, “You.”

Her laugh just did something to me. I loved that I could get that smile on her face and make her eyes twinkle and sparkle and glisten. Our talk then got more serious when she asked about what I wanted to do when it came to starting a relationship with my dad.

Looking deep into her eyes I said, “I don’t know Ashlynn.”

I didn’t even realize I was crying until she placed a hand to my face and wiped the tears away. She leaned into me and slowly kissed my tears away and after making love again Ashlynn nuzzled up to me resting her head on my chest.