A Burglar Caught by a Skeleton & Other Singular Tales from the Victorian Press (25 page)

An Eccentric Inventor’s Folly

A startling incident occurred at New Bedford on the night of the Presidential election. Mr Patrick Cunningham, one of the richest men in the town, who recently invented an automobile torpedo, which has been adopted by the Government, got very drunk on election night, and declared he would celebrate the event.

He accordingly went to his foundry, selected a section of his torpedo, consisting of an inner and an outer steel shell, conical in shape, loaded with 125lb of slow-burning powder tightly packed, the whole weighing some 500lb, and conveyed it upon a waggon to the corner of two main streets.

Placing the torpedo in the middle of the street he lighted it, and the machine at once started down the street at a terrific pace, flying about 1ft above the surface of the ground.

In its progress the torpedo collided with a tree, and glancing across the street struck the front of the market building sideways. The building at once collapsed.

The torpedo then exploded, shattering several blocks of houses in the vicinity. The report was heard some miles away.

Fortunately no one was killed, but four persons who were in the market-place at the time were thrown violently upon a heap of debris, while others were injured by flying pieces of stone and timber.

A portion of the torpedo, weighing 75lb was found in the adjoining street, having rebounded over the roofs of the intervening houses. Mr Cunningham has been arrested and committed for trial.

The Worcestershire Chronicle
, November 14, 1896

A Martyr to Science

The Sicilian tyrant Phalaris was roasted on the instrument he had prepared for the roasting of others, and by a singular fatality a French engineer has just fallen the first victim to his own ‘murderous invention.’

The poor fellow lived in the Faubourg St Antoine, and had for a considerable time been engaged in fabricating an engine of war which should sweep away whole columns, and provide his countrymen with an incomparable weapon of vengeance.

He had spent all he possessed on his deadly invention, and had become so absorbed in it and so furious at his repeated failures, that his friends were on the point of putting him under constraint.

On Saturday last they left him making a final experiment. In a few hours, however, an awful explosion was heard; all the windows in the neighbourhood were broken, and volumes of smoke were pouring from the apartment.

The police at once forced an entrance, and found the implement of war burst into pieces, and the inventor himself lying in fragments about the room. He had placed upon his table a hundred leaden soldiers, such as children play with, dressed in the Prussian uniform, loaded his machine to the muzzle with his own composition and missiles, and fired it off. His remains were collected limb by limb and conveyed to the morgue.

The Hampshire Telegraph and Sussex Chronicle
, September 28, 1872

A Wonderful Bed

A Parisian millionaire, M. Lang, has recently had made for him a wonderful bed, which is certainly one of the most luxurious pieces of furniture yet heard of.

When it is time to get up, a chime of bells ring. The occupant continues to sleep. Suddenly a candle is lit by a clever mechanical arrangement. The sleeper rubs his eyes, and an invisible hand proceeds to divest him of his nightcap. By means of electricity a spirit lamp with coffee-roasting apparatus affixed next begins to burn. The water soon boils and the smell of coffee fills the room with a delicious fragrance.

Luxuriously revelling in a crowd of agreeable sensations, the occupant, now just beginning to wake, is soothed by sounds proceeding from a costly musical-box. At length the bells ring out another merry peal, and at the foot of the bed a card with ‘Levez-vous’ (‘Get up’) inscribed on it appears. If this invitation is without effect a powerful mechanism lifts the occupant bodily from his bed and deposits him on the floor.

The Worcestershire Chronicle
, March 6, 1886

A Steam Man

The
Newark Advertiser
(New Jersey) describes the very extraordinary invention of a machine which moved by steam will perform some of the most important functions of humanity – stand upright, walk or run as he is bid, in any direction, and at almost any rate of speed, drawing after him a load whose weight would tax the strength of three stout draught horses.

In order to prevent the ‘giant’ from frightening horses by its wonderful appearance, the inventor intends to clothe it, and give it as nearly as possible a likeness to the rest of humanity.

The boilers and such parts as are necessarily heated will be encased in felt or woollen garments. Pantaloons, coat, and vest of the latest styles are provided. Whenever the fires need coaling, which is every two or three hours, the driver stops the machine, descends from his seat, unbuttons ‘camel’s’ vest, opens a door, shovels in the fuel, buttons up the vest, and drives on.

On the back, between the shoulders, the steam cocks and gauges are placed; as these would cause the coat to sit awkwardly, a knapsack has been provided which completely covers them, a blanket neatly rolled up and placed on the top of the knapsack perfects the delusion. The face is moulded into a cheerful countenance of white enamel, which contrasts well with the dark hair and moustache. A sheet-iron hat with a gauge top acts as a smoke stack.

The cost of this ‘best man’ is $2,000, though its makers expect to manufacture succeeding ones, warranted to run a year without repairs, for $100. The man now constructed can make his way without difficulty over any irregular surface whose ruts and stones are not more than 6 inches below or above the level of the road.

The Taunton Courier
, March 18, 1868

A Wonderful Invention

The latest Yankee invention is worth hearing about, but whether it will be a nice thing to hear is another matter. It is said that a Troy inventor will shortly take a patent for a cataphone.

As its name implies, the invention has something to do with the noise of the feline race. By means of wires stretched along backyard fences and house tops the inventor conveys, with the aid of some machinery, all concaternated caterwauls into an air-tight barrel.

By another simple contrivance the sounds can be ejected, and can be used in quantities for fire and burglar alarms. The inventor says the instrument is useful for blasting rocks.

The Evening News
, Portsmouth, November 4, 1878

A Curious American Invention

The
Hospital
, referring to the issue in the United States of some curious patents in medicine and surgery, says: There is a patent tape-worm trap, consisting of a gold capsule about the shape and size of the gelatine capsules used by pharmacists.

This capsule opens longitudinally and sets with a spring, like an old-fashioned rat-trap, and has a ring at one end, to which a piece of silk thread is to be fastened. The patient is to fast two or three days, and then the trap is set, baited with a bit of cheese, and swallowed, leaving the silk string hanging out of the mouth.

In a few moments it is supposed that the hungry worm will make a dash for the cheese, set free the spring, and leave the jaws of the capsule clasped about his head. Then by means of the string he is to be drawn out hand over hand and coiled away in a bottle, after which you may go fishing for another one.

The Manchester Evening News
, October 25, 1890

LIFE and DEATH