A Changed Agent (19 page)

Kneeling in front of her, he made an attempt to take her hands in his. She curled them into fists in her lap.

He dropped his hands to his thighs. “Elsie,” he spoke her name so softly she had to strain to hear it.

He tucked a hand under her chin, lifting her face, forcing her to look into his eyes. She fought the urge to cry. She would not cry now.

“I’d like to go home.” The words came out before she realized she was referring to their home in town. And now that would all change. The place was never her home. The past months had been nothing more than a ruse. Will had used her for his subterfuge. John Oliver had knowingly played a part in the deceit. The only ones who remained innocent were the only ones who mattered. Harry and Minnie.

Whatever had been growing between Will and her had never really existed. She didn’t want to believe that all they’d shared, all they’d built, had been nothing more than some part of a scheme set in motion the minute she’d met him at the train station in Albany. And even before that—from the time Virgil had spotted her in that restaurant, begging her to let him come see her. She’d taken his package, offering up her forgiveness to him. She’d been nothing more than a fool. Not once, but twice. Her stomach twisted in knots. Sorrow filled her.

Will leaned in, resting his forehead against hers.

“I never intended for any of this to happen.”

His breath warmed her cold cheeks. “I’m sure you didn’t.” Her lips trembled. “Oh . . . Will . . . How could you lie to me?”

“Elsie, I’m sorry.” Wrapping his arms around her, he tried to pull her against his solid chest.

She pushed against him. “Don’t.”

He released her. Rising slowly, he said, “This is who I am. I am an agent with the Pinkertons. I’ve been with the organization for over five years now.”

“All those late nights when you told me you were working at the lumber camp, where were you?”

“Tracking the bond thief.”

“Virgil?”

He nodded. “Only I didn’t know it was him. We had no idea who we were looking for until yesterday, and then all the pieces fell into place.”

“I don’t understand how you could profess to love those children and yet you had no problem putting them in such grave danger. How could you do that?” Her heart ached for them. “How could you put me in danger? Until today I had no idea the kind of man Virgil had become. But you suspected him all along, didn’t you?”

She watched him set his mouth in a grim line, swallow, and take in a deep breath. She wondered what lie he was fixing to tell her now. She stood.

“I had to be positive Virgil Jensen was the man we’d been hunting. I didn’t want him coming around you. But I had no choice.”

Folding her arms across her chest, she replied, “You could have told me the truth.”

He stepped in front of her so they stood toe to toe. “And you could have ended up dead if I had.” He raked a hand through his hair.

Poking him in the chest, she said, “Maybe I could have helped you. And then
this
might not have happened.” She waved a hand through the air in frustration.

“Elsie, how can I make you understand how dangerous my job is? You can’t just
help
me.”

Not knowing what else to do, she shook her head and turned away from him.

She heard him blow out a breath, and then he said in a voice filled with resignation, “We should head back to town.”

“Lily took the wagon.”

“I have a mount here.”

Walking out into the sunshine, she said, “I’d rather walk, thank you.”

“Elsie, don’t be so stubborn. You take the mount, and I’ll walk beside you.”

Straightening her spine, she pushed him aside and strode past the horse, following the pathway that led to town. She knew the way by heart. Every twist and turn along the way. The walk would do her good, give her time to get control of the anger brewing inside her. She stepped into a puddle, the soft earth giving way beneath her feet, sending squishy, muddy water over her shoes.

Yanking her skirts higher to save them from further ruin, she let out a frustrated yelp. Behind her she heard Will growl.

“Elsie, get on the horse,” he ordered.

Fervently she shook her head, stomping onward.

“Woman!” he roared.

She stood stock-still.

His voice softened. “Please, get on the horse.”

Turning around, she found herself staring up at both him and the horse. Will rested an elbow on the saddle, leaning in, leveling a steely gaze at her. She weighed her options. She could continue to be stubborn and walk through the ruts and dodge the mud puddles all the way to town, thereby ruining a perfectly good dress, or she could get on the horse and save what she had left of her pride.

Setting her jaw, she asked, “I assume you’ll be dismounting?”

Doing just that, he helped her up into the saddle. She hadn’t been on a horse in years, and because this wasn’t a sidesaddle, she had to sit astride with her skirts bunched up and showing off her calves. But she soon discovered that was the least of her worries because Will quickly remounted the horse to sit right behind her. She let out a gasp as his body settled against hers.

“Elsie, I’ve had a long twenty-four hours and I’m not going to be a gentleman and let you have this horse all to yourself. There are things I need to tend to in a timely manner.”

His arms stretched around her as he gathered the reins in his hands. He nudged the horse into a quick gait. Elsie hung on for dear life. The movement sent her back against Will’s chest. She squirmed, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard leather.

“Settle down or you’re going to spook the horse.”

“You could just set me back on the ground.”

“I could, but I’m not going to.” His chin touched the top of her head.

Being this close to him soon proved to be unbearable. “Please, Will,” she begged him, “put me down.”

Chapter Seventeen

“I can’t let you go.” Will couldn’t give in to her request. And knowing how much pain he caused her today made holding on to her that much more important. He thought that if he let Elsie down, she would run from him without ever looking back. And he wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to do that. He couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving him.

Her being in harm’s way this afternoon had been all his doing.

In front of him Elsie shifted her weight. Fighting the urge to pull her closer, he adjusted his body in the saddle so she would have a bit more room. Except moving against her made him want to kiss her again and again just to prove that she really was safe in his arms.

Not one to question his deeds, Will wondered if he could have done anything differently. Over and over the scene played out in his mind. Virgil holding Elsie to his side with a gun against her rib cage. Then the look in her eyes . . . She’d been angry and frightened. Though he suspected her fear wasn’t for herself. No, she had put Harry’s and Minnie’s well-being before her own like she’d done every day from the time they’d first met.

Helping her at the train station in Albany. Then her agreeing to take the job of live-in caregiver for complete strangers. All the little things she’d set about doing to make the old Oliver house a home. Caring for and loving the children like they were her own flesh and blood. Hadn’t she been the one to make sure they’d said their prayers and attended church every Sunday? Elsie had shared her faith and trust in the Lord with such pride and conviction.

And in one moment of clarity, Will knew Elsie had given him all the things she’d so freely given to the children. And what had he done? Handed all those things back to her, and on more than one occasion, even going so far as to scoff at her faith in something unseen.

She’d had faith in their relationship, enduring his absences at the dinner table and in the church pew. He remembered the kisses they’d shared. He knew she felt the same way he did, that there could be something more between them.

Sighing against her, Will knew he’d gone too far with his subterfuge. She would never forgive him for making their life a lie.

They rounded the last corner in the road. Up ahead the little town of Heartston, New York, lay at the foot of the great Adirondack High Peaks. The leaves on the trees glistened in the warm sunlight. As they grew close, he heard voices chattering excitedly.

“Will, put me down right now.”

Elsie did her best to squirm out of his hold by jabbing her elbow into his ribs. He sucked in a quick breath of pain. She was stronger than she looked.

“I told you, I don’t want you walking when there’s a perfectly good horse for you to ride.”

Craning her neck to look up at him, he met her turbulent gaze. He saw the raw panic on her face and the stark fear in her widened eyes.

“Don’t you understand? Please, Will, I can’t let anyone see me like this.” She let out a sob.

He felt an ache growing deep in his chest because he did understand. Being a proud young woman, he knew it would be hard for her to let anyone see her in such a fragile state. He tugged on the reins, pulling the horse to a stop at the edge of the village. Dismounting, he reached up, putting his hands around her waist. She pressed her hands against his shoulders as he gently lifted her to the ground.

Wrapping his arms around her trembling form, he stroked her back, hoping to give her some comfort. Immediately, she stiffened beneath his touch. Straightening her spine, she struggled to push his arms aside. He held firm.

“Elsie, don’t leave me like this.” He knew his words were born of hopelessness, of his selfish need to make her stay by his side.

Wrenching her body away from his, she shook her head, the force of the movement sending strands of her dark hair flying about her face and shoulders. He started to reach out to catch those silken locks between his fingers. Her fierce look stopped his movement.

He let her go. Standing in the brilliant sunshine, with the birds chattering merrily around him, he let the only woman he ever loved walk away. A hollow feeling settled deep inside him, working its way into his heart. Leading the horse, he walked the rest of the way to the village.

Pausing at the edge of the yard, Elsie took a moment to pull herself together. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to neaten the mess. She pressed her hands down the front of her dress, trying to smooth out the wrinkles. She frowned at the dried mud staining the hem of her dress, caked to the heels and toes of her shoes. Her clothes were in ruins. She forced herself to hold back her sobs. It wouldn’t do for the children to find her like this.

Using the backs of her hands, she wiped her eyes dry. She made her way to the front porch. She could hear the sound of the children’s voices coming from inside the house. Pausing just for a minute longer on the bottom step, she took in the sweet sound of Minnie’s voice. She didn’t think she’d ever grow tired of hearing her.

She opened the front door. There they were in the parlor, sitting on the settee, looking through one of their favorite storybooks. Their faces looked freshly scrubbed.

“Miss Mitchell! I’m so glad you’re home.” Lily Handland came out of the kitchen with a dish towel in her hand. “I’ve just finished making a snack for the children.”

She peered at Elsie. Taking in her tear-stained face, she said, “You look like you could use a good warm bath.”

Sucking her upper lip between her teeth, Elsie did her best to keep her emotions at bay. She simply would not fall apart in front of the twins. Though they looked peaceful and serene right now, she suspected that later, after Lily had gone and they were left alone, things might take a turn.

The screen door creaked on its hinges. Turning around, she’d never been so thankful to see her mother.

“Oh!” Rushing into the welcoming arms, she wept.

“I’ll take the children outside.” Lily moved by them.

From over her mother’s shoulder, Elsie caught sight of Harry’s concerned face. She attempted to smile at him, but she was sure it came off looking more like a grimace.

“Elsie. My poor dear. There. There.” Her mother patted her lovingly on the back. Ushering her into the kitchen, she helped her sit at the table.

She watched her mother take the simmering kettle off the back burner and pour the steamy water into the basin sitting alongside the sink. Then she pumped a bit of cold water into it. Finding a clean cloth, she dipped it in the warm water and placed it in Elsie’s hands. When Elsie sat there unmoving, her mother picked up the cloth and began to gently wipe her face.

“The town is bustling with activity.”

Laying a hand over her mother’s, she stopped her from continuing the ministrations. “Mama, you can tell me what’s being said.”

Pulling a chair beside hers, her mother sat down. “They’re saying that Virgil is a criminal. Is this true?”

“Yes.”

“And somehow Will is a part of all this.”

“He’s an agent for the Pinkertons.”

“Who are they?”

“They’re a detective agency.”

She nodded, although Elsie knew her mother had no idea who Will worked for. It really didn’t matter. Suddenly she felt bone-weary, as if she could lie in her bed and sleep for days. But she couldn’t do that. There was so much left to settle.

“I’m worried about the children.”

Patting her on the arm, her mother said, “You know how resilient children can be.”

“Minnie is speaking.” Elsie’s heart lifted a bit with the knowledge that at least one thing had gone right today.

“That’s wonderful news! We should send up prayers of thanksgiving.”

“Oh, Mama, what have I done?” She pressed her hand against her mouth to still the fresh sobs. “I thought I’d been doing what the Lord intended for me to do. I accepted the offer of this job to help save money to pay for my future travels. I knew I could be of service to his little family. But then . . .” She hesitated.

Her mother tucked a hand under her chin, tipping her head so she could see into her eyes, a gesture that brought to mind Elsie’s childhood days. It calmed her. Her mother’s brown eyes looked at her, steady and calm, when all Elsie could see in front of her was the storm swirling around them.

“But then you fell in love with William Benton.” Her mother finished her thoughts.

Blinking back tears, Elsie nodded. “Yes, I did. I didn’t want or expect this to happen.”

Dropping her hand, her mother said, “Sometimes the Lord has bigger plans.”

“And he never gives us more than we can handle. But I’m afraid that Will went too far by putting us in danger.”

Elsie couldn’t believe she had let herself be taken in by another man who’d betrayed her and used her to further his gains. “Mama, I’m not sure I can forgive him.”

“You forgave Virgil, and you will forgive your gentleman.”

“Be that as it may, I regret forgiving Virgil. His intentions toward me were never good, you know. As for Will, let’s just say I may have learned my lesson concerning men the hard way.”

“Elsie, it’s not like you to be so bitter.”

“I’ve had a long day, Mama. Perhaps I will lie down for a bit.” Rising, she added, “But first I need to check on the children.”

Accompanying her to the front porch, her mother said, “They seem to be happy enough on those swings. Look at how high they’re going.”

The swings that Will had put up. She tried not to think of all the other things they’d done to make this a better place for the children. The hurt of his betrayal was too fresh.

Lily saw Elsie and her mother standing in the doorway, so leaving the children to play, she joined them.

“Elsie, Will sent over a message that there will be dinner for everyone at the restaurant. After what happened today, he doesn’t want to burden you with any chores.”

“That’s mighty nice of him, considering we wouldn’t be in this predicament if it hadn’t been for his actions.”

Lily fixed a sharpened gaze on her. “Mrs. Mitchell, would you mind watching the children while I have a word with your daughter?”

“Go on, Mama. I’ll be fine.”

Lily didn’t waste any time getting to the point of her conversation. “I’ve known William Benton for a long time. We’ve worked together on many cases for the Pinkerton Detective Agency. If I know one thing about him, it’s that he’s the most loyal person I know. And he doesn’t give his affections easily.”

Walking out onto the porch, Elsie sat in one of the rockers, yet another reminder of Will. “I know he’s loyal. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kept his job a secret from me.”

“He wants to do what’s right.”

Elsie couldn’t bear to hear Lily sing any more praises for Will. She needed some time alone to think. She thought it a good idea that the children join their uncle for dinner. He could see for himself that they were doing all right. No doubt, they needed to see him, too.

“Take the children to meet their uncle. Please give Will my regrets. As much as a dinner out would be tempting, I’m afraid I’m not up to being out in public just yet.” She knew her words came out sounding wooden.

The last part of her statement held the truth. She didn’t think she could abide by all the stares and well-meaning concerns of her neighbors and friends. She felt certain that word of what had happened at her parents’ house had spread like a wildfire throughout the small town.

“I will do as you ask, but not before I say one more thing. Will is in love with you. He’s not going to let you go easily, Elsie. Think on that while we’re gone.” In a swirl of skirts the woman turned and went down the front steps.

Her mother came back onto the porch, and Elsie told her to have her father bring the wagon by in an hour’s time. When her mother started to protest, Elsie hugged her, and then releasing her, she sent her off.

Elsie heard Lily telling the children they’d be going to meet their uncle. Harry turned to look at her, seeking her permission. She raised her hand, forcing a smile to her face, and waved them off.

She sat on the porch for a long time after they were gone, thinking about the day’s events, working at putting all the pieces together. She couldn’t imagine what had led to Virgil’s downfall.

She’d known of him for a long time before they’d started seeing each other. When he’d come courting, he seemed like a fine gentleman, and she, being well on her way to spinsterhood, had been flattered by his attentions. He’d proposed marriage one day and she’d accepted, and then he broke their engagement off. Leaving her alone. She’d no idea he’d been gambling away money as fast as it came to him.

And then there was the matter of Will. Elsie didn’t want to think about what might have been. The pain in her heart was still so fresh, like a raw, open wound.

Tipping her head back, she watched a robin tend to babies in a nest in the eave of the porch. She’d been tending to Harry and Minnie like they were her babies . . . only they didn’t belong to her. Folding her hands in her lap, she bowed her head. The prayer she sent forth held anguish and desperation. She prayed for the strength to go on without the children, without Will. She prayed that she’d be able to find it in her heart to one day stop loving the man. Ending with an amen, she got up from the rocker and made her way to her quarters.