A Chili Death: A Classic Diner Mystery (18 page)

Moose explained, “I shouldn’t get all of the credit.  Victoria here is the one who put it all in motion.”

For some reason, that seemed to surprise the sheriff.  He looked at me and tipped his hat slightly.  “Then I’ll thank you as well.  That had to help Francie’s peace of mind.”

“I wish it could help everyone else’s,” I said.  The second the last word left my lips I knew that it had been a mistake, but it was too late to retract now.  Maybe the sheriff would just let it go.

Not likely, though.  “Who else would we be talking about?”

I thought about trying to stonewall him, but I knew that all that would do was raise Moose’s blood pressure, and still not get us anywhere.  “Cynthia Wilson called here earlier.  She’s still concerned that someone else is going to come along and try to take her hair salon.  Evidently Evelyn is getting her riled up, and you know how that can be.”

The sheriff nodded.  “I’ll stop by later and have a word with her.”

“She asked me something intriguing,” I added.  “Maybe you can answer it for me, since I don’t have a clue.”

“What is it?”

“Did you find any cash around Howard Lance, either on him, or at his place?”  It was a touchy subject bringing up Howard’s apartment, but I really wanted to know.

“As a matter of fact,” the sheriff said, “We found nearly ten grand in his place stashed under his mattress.”

I let the fact pass that he hadn’t told us about it.  “Any idea where he got the money?”

“A few,” Sheriff Croft said cagily.  “How about you?”

“At least one person must have paid him off,” I said.

Moose’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t comment.  After a few seconds, the sheriff nodded.  “Yeah, that’s what I think, too.  Any ideas who might have done it?”

“Sheriff, I’m not even sure who could have raised that kind of cash on such short notice.  I was kind of hoping that you’d know.”

“Well, it’s no big secret that it’s impossible to trace cash,” the sheriff said, “but we’re looking into it.  Anything else?”

“Who gets the money now?” I asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just wondering if anyone else had a motive to kill Howard Lance.  Did he leave some kind of fortune behind, and was it motive enough to kill him?”

“No fortune, at least as far as we’ve been able to find.  As to heirs, none have turned up yet.  I have a hunch that what we found was all he had, but I’ve been wrong before.”  He stretched his neck a little, and then asked, “Anybody else call you?”

“No, but Bob Chastain came to the diner for breakfast, and to my knowledge, he’s never done that before.”

“Did he grill you about the case?” the sheriff asked.

“No, he kind of made it a point not to ask.”

The sheriff shook his head.  “If you’re going to start bringing me negative information, this could take awhile.”

“No, that’s it,” I said, trying my best to smile. 

Moose asked, “Have you heard from Hank and Margie yet?”

Sheriff Croft shook his head.  “No, but we’ll track them down sooner or later.  I can’t figure out why they’d run like that.  It just makes them look guilty of something.”

“But not necessarily of murder,” I said.

“No, I’m reserving judgment until I have more information,” he said.

“If you’re done with us, Moose and I have an errand to run,” I said.

“Is there any point in me following you to see what the two of you are up to today?” the sheriff asked.

“You could always try,” Moose said with a broad grin, “but you’ll never catch us.  There’s more to my truck than meets the eye.”

“I know all about how you had the engine beefed up,” the sheriff said.  “Just don’t break any speed limits, you hear me?  I’d hate to have to write you up after coming by here especially so I could thank you.”

“I’d hate that, too,” Moose said.  “I’m glad we have an understanding.”

“We have nothing of the sort,” the sheriff said with a smile.

Moose didn’t answer; he just waved and shoved me out the door.

“Do you think he’s going to actually follow us to Laurel Landing?” I asked once we were in Moose’s truck driving away.

“If he does, I’m going to lead him on the goosiest wild goose chase he’s ever seen.”

When we got to the BBQ Pit, Happy was waiting by the door for us.  “I’m glad you’re here,” he said as he shook our hands in turn.

“What’s so urgent that we had to drive all this way?” Moose asked.

“I never said it was urgent,” Happy said.  “You always did over-exaggerate everything, you old goat.”

“So, are you telling me that we dropped everything and drove all this way for nothing?”

“It’s not nothing,” Happy said.  He turned to his servers and said, “Stacy, Josephine, I need you both over here, right now.”

The two women glared at each other, and then their boss, but they came nonetheless.  “What is it, Happy?  I have customers.”

“So do I,” Stacy snapped.  “You’re no more important around here than I am.”

“I never said that I was,” Josephine cracked right back.

“Both of you, pipe down!” Happy said.

To my amazement, both of them dropped into instant silence.  Honestly, I think that Happy was a little bit amazed himself, but he must have known that it wasn’t going to last long.  “Tell us what you two were doing when Howard was murdered.”

“How are we supposed to know that?” Josephine asked.

“If you had ever loved the man, you wouldn’t have to ask,” Stacy said.  She turned to Hap and said, “I was here, working.”

“Then I was here, too,” Josephine replied.  “We’ve both been working the same shift for the past two weeks.”  Then she turned back to Stacy and added, “For your information, I know when he was murdered, at least down to the half hour.  What I was trying to say was that I didn’t know the exact time, and from what I’ve heard, neither do the police.  The only way you’d know is if you were the one who did it.”

“Take that back,” Stacy snapped, her temper coming back in full force.

Happy stepped between them to stop any real fight before it had a chance to get started.  “I told you both I had to keep you together while I’m looking for another waitress.  Believe me, I’m looking, but for now, you need to find a way to get along.”

“Are you giving them both alibis?” Moose asked.

Sure, and I would have told you straight out the last time you were here, but you seemed more interested in my smoker than you did in Howard’s murder.”

I made it a point not to make eye contact with my grandfather, or alter my expression in any way.

“How can you be so sure?” Moose said.

“It’s a long drive to Jasper Fork and back.  Trust me, if one of them was gone for more than two minutes that day, I’d have noticed.  But I happen to have a more definitive reason than you’ve heard so far.  It involves a plate of onion rings, and two very angry customers.”

That seemed to start the squabble again.  “Those were for my order!” Stacy said loudly.

“In your dreams, cupcake,” Josephine replied.  “I’d been waiting for them seven minutes, and you just showed up at the window, grabbed them, and took off like you owned the place.”

“That’s because I ordered them two minutes before you even got to the window, Jo.”  She said the last bit with a gleam in her eye, and I was getting ready to step out of their line of fire.

“Don’t call me Jo!”

Happy glared at them in turn, and then said in a soft voice, “So help me, if I hear one more word out of either one of you, I’ll cook and wait tables myself until I can find replacements for the both of you.”

“You can’t handle this place without help,” Josephine said, breaking Happy’s declaration of silence.

“It won’t be for long, and by then it won’t be any concern of either one of you.  Now, are we all going to have a truce around here, or are things about to get very ugly?  I don’t even know why you’re still fighting.  You should be looking to find strength in each other with Howard gone.  We all know that he wasn’t the world’s greatest prize, but you both cared for him, even if you won’t admit it to the world.  The choice is pretty easy; make up, or hit the road.  I mean it.”

I wasn’t sure which server would be the first to act, but I was still surprised when Josephine put out her hand to the other.  “Truce.”

Without any hesitation, Stacy took it, nodded, and echoed the sentiment.  After a moment, she said, “I loved him, but he could be a real pain in the pants, couldn’t he?”  She added a slight grin to take the sting out of her words.

“More than anyone else could probably ever realize but the two of us,” Josephine nodded, smiling a little herself.

“Let me buy you a sweet tea,” Stacy said, “and we’ll drink to the old rascal’s memory.”

“Okay, but I should be the one buying,” Josephine said.  “After all, I was his ex-wife.”

Happy could sense the threat of a return to hostility, so he quickly said, “How about if I buy?  We’ll all toast the old so and so together.”

Both women turned on him at once, and Josephine said, “There’s no need to speak ill of the dead, Happy.”

“Yeah,” Stacy said.  “He might have been a slimy creature sometimes, but he was our slimy creature.”

They walked to the counter, got two glasses, filled them with tea, and then drank to their dead common interest together.

Moose said softly, “That was pretty well done, even if it was in your own unique backhanded kind of way.”

“Thanks.  I thought it worked out pretty well myself.  Maybe now that they’ve gotten it all out in the open, they’ll be able to get along.”

“I hope so,” I said, “but I wouldn’t count on it.  Thanks for calling us, Happy.”

“I should be thanking you,” he said.

Moose and I decided to leave while things were still on a good note there.  Back in his truck, he asked, “Should we head back home now?”

“Sure, but let’s make a stop on the way.”

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“I want to talk to Monica Ingram again,” I said.

Moose shook his head.  “Be my guest, but you wouldn’t mind if I waited for you in the truck, would you?”

I had to laugh.  “What’s the matter?  You’re not afraid of a woman, are you?”

“It’s not the ‘woman’ part that makes me nervous,” he said.  “The part that I’m wary of is the part that’s an attorney.  Lawyers and I never did seem to get along.”

“Go on, wait in the truck, then,” I said with a laugh as he pulled up in front of Monica’s building.  “But don’t wander off.  I don’t even know if she’s free.”

“Then why talk to her?” Moose asked.

“There’s a question Sheriff Croft couldn’t answer that I want to know.”

“About Lance’s heirs?” Moose asked.  “Even if she knows, what makes you think that she’ll tell you any more than she did before?”

“Just call it a hunch.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

Moose just shook his head.  “I stopped asking myself that question a long time ago when I kept getting answers that I didn’t like.”

Pulled pork sandwiches by Victoria’s mother, Melinda

This recipe couldn’t be easier, and though it doesn’t smoke the meat like Moose would like, it’s still mouthwatering good on sandwiches, or as a main course!  We use a slow cooker for this one, and it’s a wonderful meal to make, especially if you’re going to be near the kitchen all day.  The delightful aroma alone is enough to knock you off your feet!

Ingredients

3-4 lbs. Boston Butt roast (or comparable cut of meat)

Salt and pepper for seasoning

1 medium onion, yellow or white, diced

18 oz. (or comparable) bottle barbeque sauce

Directions

You can spray the cooker’s pot itself, or use a slow cooker cooking bag for virtually no mess.  Rub the meat with a teaspoon each of salt and pepper, and then put it in the base of the slow cooker, the fat side up.  Next, dice the onion, add it to the pot, and then add the barbeque sauce, covering the meat with it.  There will be some left in the bottom of the bottle, so put that into the refrigerator for later. 

Cover the slow cooker, set the temperature to LOW for 8 hours and cook, or until the meat is tender to the touch of a fork.  On a separate plate, remove the meat (pieces at this point will fall apart at the touch), discard the fat and bone, and then pull the remaining meat between two forks until you have a nice consistency.  Don’t overwork it at this stage, or you’ll get something that more resembles chopped pork, something you want to avoid.

Add some of the sauce back to this finished mix of pulled pork, in equal parts from the bottle and what is in the Crockpot.

Enjoy!