A Christmas Blessing (23 page)

With one last look in her direction, he turned and stalked from the room. Just as he had with his father earlier, he ignored her plea for him to return. As far as he could tell, there was nothing more to be said.

Only after he had his bag packed and was outside did he allow himself to stop for an instant and think about what was happening. When he did, this great empty space seemed to open up inside him.

They had been so close. He had actually begun to believe that dreams could come true. In the end, though, Jessie’s love hadn’t been as strong as he’d thought.

He threw his bag onto the passenger seat of one of his father’s pickups and dug the keys out from under the mat. He’d hire someone to drive it back from his ranch tomorrow. He sure as hell wasn’t about to ask Harlan to have the pilot fly him home.

Besides, the long, tedious drive would do him good. He’d have time enough to figure out how he was going to survive not having Jessie and Angela in his life.

He was just about to turn onto the driveway, when a bright red pickup skidded to a halt behind him, blocking his way. Cody leapt from the truck before the engine quieted.

“Luke, what the hell are you doing?” his youngest brother demanded.

“What does it look like? I’m stealing one of Daddy’s trucks and going home.”

“Without Jessie?” Cody inquired softly.

Luke stilled and stared at his brother. “What do you know about Jessie and me?”

Cody rolled his eyes. “Hell, Luke, anyone who isn’t blind could see how the two of you feel about each other. Don’t abandon her now.”

“You’ve got it backward. She made the decision to stay.”

“You’re the one in the truck, about to head down the driveway,” Cody contradicted. “That constitutes abandonment in my book. I thought you had more guts.”

A dull throbbing was beginning at the base of Luke’s skull. “Whatever you have to say, Cody, spit it out. I want to get on the road.”

His brother shot him a commiserating look. “I talked to Jessie a little bit ago. She wasn’t making a lot of sense, but I got the gist of it. I know what Daddy said. It was a lousy thing to say. There’s no getting around that.”

“So you can see why all I want to do is get the hell away from here.”

“Sure can,” Cody agreed.

Luke was startled by the unexpected agreement. He studied Cody suspiciously.

“Of course, Jessie also told me a story. She said you’d remembered how Daddy taught us to be strong, how he made us fight for the things we wanted in life. She told me some cockamamy theory that he deliberately puts roadblocks in our paths just so we have to scramble over them. It’s his way of finding out how badly we want something.”

Luke closed his eyes. He recalled the exact conversation all too vividly.

“Isn’t Jessie worth fighting for?” Cody asked softly. “Seems to me like she is.”

His brother’s words reached him as nothing else had. Cody was right. He was running away from the most important fight of his life. Luke sighed and cut the pickup’s engine.

“When did you grow up and get so damned smart?” he asked as he climbed from the truck and snagged his brother in a hug.

“Not me,” Cody denied. “It was Jessie. She gave me all the arguments I’d need.”

“She could have tried them on me herself.”

Cody grinned. “She said you were too mad at her to listen. She figured since I was neutral, I might have a shot at getting through that thick skull of yours.”

“Daddy’s never going to approve of me being with Jessie,” Luke said. “Mother’s going to go ballistic.”

“Ought to make life around here downright interesting,” Cody said. “Maybe I’ll move back to the main house just to watch the fireworks. Jordan will probably want to come home, too.”

“Only if you both intend to stand beside me on this,” Luke warned.

A crooked grin on his face, Cody held up his hand for a high-five. “That’s what brothers are for.”

Luke realized that was something he was finally beginning to understand, thanks to Jessie. It killed him to admit it, but it just might be that she was a hell of a lot smarter than he was when it came to matters of family and the heart.

Chapter Sixteen

H
er hands clutched tightly together, Jessie stood at the window of her room and watched Luke and Cody’s sometimes heated exchange below. When Luke finally shut off the truck’s engine and emerged, a sigh of relief washed through her. She had been so afraid that the desperate call she’d made to Cody had been too late. She’d also known he might be her only chance to make Luke see reason.

She knew from her own conversation with Cody on Christmas that he had given her relationship with Luke his blessing. It had been her first hint that not every member of the Adams clan would be opposed to the feelings she and Luke shared.

This morning she had sensed that even more than Cody’s ability to stand up to Luke, what was needed was someone who wouldn’t be passing judgment on the original cause of the disagreement between father and son.

As she watched Cody and Luke enter the house, she prayed that all of Cody’s skills at persuasion wouldn’t be wasted the instant Luke ran into his father.

Drawing in a deep breath, she decided that this was not a battle Luke should have to take on alone. It was their fight. Plucking Angela from her crib, Jessie emerged from her suite and started downstairs.

Halfway down she realized Luke was waiting at the bottom of the steps, his gaze fixed on her. Her pulse skittered wildly as she tried to anticipate what he would say to her. Beside him, Cody shot her a wink and an irrepressible grin.

“I think I’ll join Daddy for some coffee,” Cody said. “I want a front row seat for the next act.”

Jessie smiled at him. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“No problem. Nothing like tangling with big brother here to get my adrenaline jump started in the morning. Can’t wait to get to Daddy now. I might even try to persuade him to let me buy that new tractor I’ve been wanting.”

After he’d gone, Luke finally spoke. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have run out and left you to deal with Daddy.” The apology seemed to have been formed at some cost. He was watching her uneasily.

Jessie reached out and touched his cheek. “You thought I’d chosen them over you, when nothing could be further from the truth. I chose us, Lucas. We can’t have a future if we don’t settle this with everyone now. It will eat away at us, until we’re destroyed. Hiding away on your ranch is no solution, and in your heart, I think you know that.”

His lips curved in what might have been the beginning of a smile. “You play dirty, though, Jessica. Threw my own words back in my face.”

“No, I didn’t.” She grinned unrepentantly. “I had Cody do it. If I could have gotten him here fast enough, I would have had Jordan add his two cents.”

He cupped her face in his hands. “You are worth fighting for, Jessie. Never doubt that. The way I felt when I climbed into that truck, the empty space inside me where my heart had been, I hope to God I never feel that way again.”

“You won’t,” she whispered. “I promise.”

Angela stirred in her arms just then. Luke glanced at the baby and his expression softened. “Come here, sweet pea,” he said and claimed her.

A look of resolve came over his face as he clasped Jessie’s hand. “Shall we go face the enemy on his own turf?”

She halted in her tracks, forcing him to a stop. “We won’t get anywhere, if you keep thinking of your father as the enemy.”

“How else should I be thinking of him? He’s standing square between me and the woman I love.”

The declaration made her smile. “Try thinking of him as a father who’s defending the honor of his son who died.”

Luke sighed heavily. “In too many ways that makes it all the harder, darlin’. It’s almost impossible to fight a ghost.”

Jessie said nothing, just squeezed his hand. She thought she knew how to disarm Harlan Adams, though. And when the time came, she would use Erik’s own words to do it.

* * *

With Angela in his arms and Jessie at his side, Luke felt his strength and courage returning. He felt whole again. That gave him the resolve he needed to walk back into that dining room and face his father.

His lips twisted into a grim smile as he overheard Cody and Harlan arguing over the need for a new tractor. Cody was cheerfully enumerating a list of reasons to counteract every one of Harlan’s opposing arguments. Their words died the instant Harlan spotted Luke and Jessie in the doorway.

“Cody, go and take care of that matter we were discussing,” his father ordered brusquely.

For an instant, Cody looked confused. “I can buy the tractor?”

His father shrugged. “Might as well let you do it now, before you drive me crazy.”

The tiny victory gave Luke hope. He could see once again that sometimes all Harlan really wanted was a good fight. He wanted to be convinced that a decision was right. If his sons couldn’t make a strong enough case, they lost. It might have been pure contrariness, but he sensed that it really was his father’s way of seeing that they learned to fight for what they believed in. Maybe underneath that tough exterior, his father really did want only what was best for his sons.

Luke made up his mind then and there that his case for claiming Jessie and Angela as his own would be a powerful one.

“Thought you’d taken off,” Harlan said, his tone cool.

His avid gaze carefully avoided Luke and settled on his granddaughter. Luke watched him struggling with himself, fighting his obvious desire to stake his claim on the baby he believed Luke had no right to.

Luke kept his voice steady. “I decided running wouldn’t solve this problem.”

“Did you reach this decision all on your own, or did Jessie’s refusal to go force you into it?”

Luke shot a wry look at his father. “Does it really matter? I’m here now.” He glanced at Jessie, seated so serenely beside him. “We’re here now.”

“You two are going to break your mother’s heart,” his father said bluntly.

“Why?” Luke demanded. “We’ve done nothing wrong. Neither of us ever betrayed Erik. We never even let on to each other how we felt until a few days ago. I’ve been fighting it ever since, out of a sense of honor. It made me crazy, thinking of how Erik would feel if he knew. I couldn’t even grieve for him the way I should, because I thought I didn’t have the right.”

He felt Jessie’s gaze on him, warming him with her compassion.

“I think there’s something both of you should know,” she said softly.

Luke started to silence her, but she cut him off. “No,” she insisted. “This is my fight, too.”

She leveled a look at Harlan. “I’m fighting for a future for me and for Angela. That doesn’t mean we’re turning our backs on the past. It doesn’t mean we care any the less for Erik. Neither of us will ever forget that he’s Angela’s father. Choosing to be together just means we’re moving forward. That’s something Erik understood.”

Harlan’s face turned practically purple with indignation. “How dare you tell me what my son would or would not have understood! Do you think you knew him any better than I did?”

“Yes,” Jessie said.

The quiet, single-word response seemed to startle Harlan as a full-fledged argument might not have. Luke was astonished by her quiet serenity, her composure and their effect on his father.

“Okay, go on and say your piece,” Harlan grumbled. “Get it over with.”

“I was with Erik when he died,” she reminded them. “He knew he wasn’t going to make it.”

Luke saw tears forming in her eyes, watched as they spilled down her cheeks. She seemed oblivious to them. Her entire focus seemed to be on making Harlan hear what she had to say.

“He knew,” she said softly. “He knew how Luke and I felt about each other, possibly even more clearly than I’d admitted up to that point.”

“Dear God!” Harlan swore. “That’s what killed him, right there. Knowing his wife was in love with another man would be enough to cost any man the will to live.”

Jessie shook her head. “No, he gave us his blessing. He said he wanted me to be happy.”

“You’re making that up,” Harlan said. “Damned convenient, since he’s not here to speak for himself.”

If Luke hadn’t seen the agony in her eyes, he might not have believed her himself. He could tell, though, that the memory of those final moments with her husband had tormented her for months now, twisting her up with guilt and self-recriminations.

“It’s true,” she said evenly. “And if you don’t believe me, you can call Doc Winchell. He was right by Erik’s side at the end. He heard every word.”

A stunned silence settled over the room. Harlan was clearly at a loss. Luke was torn between anguish and an incredible sense of relief that his brother had known about his feelings for Jessie and forgiven him for them. It was as if the last roadblock to his complete sense of joy had been removed. He could feel tears sliding down his cheeks. Unashamed, he let them fall as he watched his father. Not until this moment had he realized how desperately he wanted forgiveness from him, not just for his brother’s death, but for this, for loving Jessie.

Harlan finally sank back, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to stop you from getting on with a life together,” he said grudgingly. “You’re both adults. You’ll do what you want whether I approve or not.”

Luke thought he heard an underlying message in his father’s words, a cry for reassurance that their love was deep enough to be worth the cost. He nodded.

“That’s true, Daddy. We can get married the way we want. No one can stop us. We can raise Angela and any other children we might be blessed with. We can live happily ever after.” He looked straight into his father’s eyes then. “But it won’t be the same if you’re not in our lives. We don’t need your approval, but we do want your love.”

Jessie’s hand slid into his. He folded his own around it and held on tight as they waited for his father’s decision. He knew giving in wouldn’t come easily to him. It never had. But, as Jessie had reminded him time and again, his father was a fair man.

“It’ll take a bit of time,” Harlan said eventually. “Some getting used to.” A tired smile stirred at the corners of his mouth. “I suppose there’s something to be said for keeping Jessica and Angela in the family. She could have gone off and married some stranger.”