A Christmas Secret (Scandals & Secrets 4.5) (2 page)

“Excellent.” He squeezed her shoulders, and she stiffened against his touch. It was too much right then. With her feelings out of control as is, his touch overwhelmed her.

He jerked his hands away as if scalded, but he didn’t mention it. “Shall we meet up again before you perform? Are you sure you don’t need to sneak away to practice?” he asked, but his voice had lost its playfulness. She regretted that, but it was for the best.

They couldn’t go on as they were.

“No. I should be fine. I think Lady Tisdale will really enjoy this,” she said, unable to think of anything else.

“I agree.”

She edged toward the path. “I should really get back. My maid will be waiting.”

“See you at dinner.”

She closed her eyes after turning away. The concert would have to be the last time she saw him for a long time.

Her heart couldn’t stand anymore.

H
arry could hardly eat
at dinner. Not the festive atmosphere nor the succulent dishes served could persuade him.

Rosalie wouldn’t look at him.

At first, he brushed it off. She was either engaged in conversation elsewhere or focusing on the meal. But as time ticked by, she’d spoken with most others around her except him.

He admitted that touching her in the conservatory was a mistake, but he’d been so happy to be alone with her, he’d forgotten himself.

But feeling her stiffen against his touch had brought him straight back to reality.

Earlier in the hall outside the library, he thought he’d seen interest in her eyes, but he must have been mistaken. She certainly didn’t seem interested. Especially not if his touch in the darkened conservatory caused her to go cold.

What was he even thinking, proposing to her? She obviously didn’t want him.

But it didn’t matter anymore. He couldn’t go on like they were. He had to
try
to move them forward. If he didn’t tell her how he felt, he’d burst.

As servants cleared the last course, Lady Weston stood from her chair at the end of the table. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been asked for all of us to adjourn to the music room now that dinner has ended. One of our secret helpers would like to perform something special.”

The guest’s interests were peeked from such a veer from tradition. No doubt they were also curious. Which song would be played and for whom?

They all shuffled into the brightly lit room. It was still a touch chilly since the servants had little warning about the impromptu concert.

When they were all seated, Harry nodded to Rosalie to go ahead as planned.

He loved how easy it was with her. How they didn’t need words to communicate. He’d never had that type of relationship with another, and he knew he never would.

Rosalie’s crystal blue gown shimmered in the soft glow of hundreds of candles. She looked ethereal, more angelic than any angel ever painted. She smiled at the crowd, waiting for the chatter to cease.

“Thank you all for this indulgence. As many of you know, I was paired with Viscount Gloucher to give a Father Christmas surprise to someone in our company. We didn’t know this lady well, but, following along with the sneaky Christmas tradition, we were able to ferret out this woman’s favorite song. I’d like to play it for her now.”

Murmers of excitement filled the room as she took her seat at the pianoforte. With a deep breath, she began the song. Achingly romantic notes filled the air, spellbinding the audience as firmly as children gazing at a fully trimmed Christmas tree.

No one moved. No one spoke as Rosalie communicated a story more tender than any words could express.

Harry wasn’t a music enthusiast by any means, but this piece moved him, laid bare pieces of his soul he already struggled to conceal.

As Rosalie drew out the last note, a glistening tear trailing down her cheek, her eyes met his. In that moment, he knew without a doubt that he’d never love anyone but her.

The room remained quiet a moment longer, no one willing to break the spell she’d so expertly woven.

A sob echoed through the room, and all eyes turned to Lady Tisdale.

Harry’s mind reeled. Had they done something terribly wrong? He went to the lady’s side. “Forgive us, Lady Tisdale. We had no wish to upset you. We were told you enjoy hearing this song, and we thought it’d be a nice surprise.”

Rosalie rushed to his side, quickly adding her apology.

The room waited for the older lady to compose herself. When she finally did, drying the last tear from her eye, she smiled at the two of them. “No. Forgive me for carrying on so. That song was my dear Edward’s favorite. We danced to it at our wedding. Today would have been our fiftieth wedding anniversary. You two have given me a wonderful gift.” She took both their hands. “I’ll never forget this. Thank you.”

Harry gulped as the crowd disbursed in reverent whispers. Who could have known that one song would mean so much?

What would it be like to spend fifty years with someone? To love so much that even years after their passing, their absence would be felt so acutely.

He couldn’t wait a moment longer.

He turned to Rosalie. “We need to talk. Privately.”

She rubbed her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not feeling well. Perhaps tomorrow? I need to lie down.” She didn’t listen for his answer before heading out the door.

Harry waited only a second before following her. Tomorrow was too far away.

He caught up with her as she passed the gigantic Christmas tree next to the staircase. “Rosalie, wait.”

Her foot was raised on the first step, her hand gripping the railing, but she froze, neither climbing up nor turning toward him.

“Look at me,” he whispered, his throat going hoarse with need.

“I can’t.” Her breath hitched.

He went to her then, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. He took in the tears sliding down her cheeks, her trembling chin. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing. Please. Leave me be.”

He should have released her then, but nothing on earth could make him let her go in that moment. “No. Tell me what is wrong.”

She closed her eyes on a gush of tears. “I can’t do this any more.”

“Can’t do what?”

“This. I can’t be your friend.”

The evergreen scent from the tree filled his lungs as he sucked in a breath. “You can’t? Why not? Good heavens, what have I done to bring you to this point?”

She sobbed, trying to shake him loose but he wouldn’t let go. He felt her slipping away from him, and he wouldn’t give up any more unless she forced him to.

“You haven’t done anything. Really. This is all my fault. I love you, Harry. I’ve loved you for years. I know it isn’t what you want, but I can’t help it. I’ve fought my feelings, but it’s too much now. I can’t continue to see you, continue to interact with you, dance with you, talk and laugh with you without wanting more. It’s easier for me if we just part ways.”

Relief and shock surged through him. She loved him. Had loved him for years. He laughed with joy at the realization.

She gasped. “You’re laughing at me?”

She tried to struggle away from him, but he only held on tighter as his laughter tapered off. “Sweet love, we’ve been so foolish.”

She stilled in his arms. “What did you call me?”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer regardless of who might come upon them. “I called you my love.” She inhaled deeply at his declaration. “How could you not have seen how much I love you? My heart has been yours since almost the first time we met. My love has only grown stronger with each time we’ve been together. I go to those retched parties just to spend time with you, to earn one of your smiles, to light a glimmer of joy in your eyes. Nothing else matters without you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He laughed huskily. “You mean why didn’t I mention it when you seemed to have no interest in me romantically? Why didn’t I tell you that I loved you when it could ruin everything we already had together? I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you at parties for years to come but never being with you.” His grip around her tightened. “You’re my biggest dream, my only wish, the only woman I’ve ever wanted or loved. I don’t want to be without you.”

Her eyes glimmered with tears again, but this time, they were happy ones. She smiled into his eyes. “So, what are you saying, Harry?”

An answering smile tugged his lips. “I’m saying I love you, Rosalie. I love you so much it almost drove me crazy. I’m saying I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to share my life with you, a family, and a home.” When he released her, her brows furrowed in confusion. “And I’m
asking
you,” he knelt down in front of her, reaching into his pocket for the ring he’d purchased long ago with the hope of giving it to her, “to marry me. To be my wife. To put me out of my misery, and tell me you’ll be my best friend for the rest of my life.”

She laughed happily through the tears, nodding as she glanced from the sapphires and diamonds winking in the candlelight to his eyes. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

With a sigh of relief, he placed the ring on her finger before lifting her off the stairs into a searing kiss. All thoughts, feelings, and desires he’d held in check for years poured into that one meeting of lips beside the Christmas tree. He showed her how much he loved her as their souls met without words.

When the kiss ended, she placed her hand on his cheek. “I love you, Harry.”

His eyes closed in gratitude. “I’ll never tire of hearing that.” He kissed her again. “I love you, too. I can’t believe how I’m able to feel so much and still be alive. I don’t want it to end.”

“It won’t.” She smiled. “Not when we have the rest of our lives together.”

Turning his head, he kissed her palm before enclosing her hand in his and lead her back to the gathering.

He didn’t want to let her go.

And now, he’d never have to.