A Clandestine Corporate Affair (9 page)

Only after he'd hung up with Ana, and checked his schedule for his next meeting, did Nathan realize the mistake he'd just made. He was supposed to go to Adam and Katy's holiday get-together Saturday evening. That was what he got for not checking his schedule before committing himself. He'd been so enticed by the idea of
spending some real quality time with his son, he hadn't even considered he might have another obligation.

Damn it. Emilio and his fiancée would be there, and he knew his brother would never miss an opportunity to score a few brownie points. Leaving him the odd man out. He could call Ana back and tell her he couldn't make it, but something told him that wouldn't go over really well.

He knew going into this that being a parent would require sacrifice. Besides, Adam had assured him it was okay if he didn't come, that he knew it was last-minute.

Nathan just hoped he meant it. He'd come too far, was too close to getting everything he wanted to throw it all away.

 

Everything was going to be fine.

Ana sat on the couch, one eye on Max in his exersaucer and one on the clock. Nathan was due there any minute to babysit. And though she was maybe a tiny bit nervous about leaving him and Max alone for the first time, she was crazy nervous about Nathan being here. Their lunch date Thursday—using the word
date
in the loosest of senses—had fallen through, so she hadn't actually seen him since they slept together Tuesday night. They had talked on the phone a couple of times, but that wasn't the same as seeing someone face-to-face.

So much for her brilliant theory about sleeping with Nathan to get him out of her system. All that did was make her want him more, make her fall just a little more in love with him. But what was the point of being in love with someone who didn't love her back?

Easy. There wasn't one.

What had she expected? That sleeping with her was going to make Nathan suddenly realize that he loved her and couldn't live without her? Clearly that wasn't going
to happen. She didn't doubt that he cared about her, and desired her. Just not enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her. She was fun in the short term, just not marriage material.

Wasn't that the story of her life?

He may have been
her
one true love, but obviously she wasn't his. And even if he were willing to settle for a life with her and Max, she wanted more than that. She had no illusions about who she was and what she needed from a relationship to be happy. With all her insecurities, she needed someone who adored her. Someone who put his love for her above all else.

Nathan would never be that man. Not for her, and probably not for anyone else. He was too independent, too focused on his own life to devote himself completely to someone else.

The only exception to that rule seemed to be Max.

The bell sounded and she shot up off the couch like a spring.
Jeez, Ana, relax.
She forced herself to walk slowly to the door, glancing at her reflection in the foyer mirror. She didn't get out much these days, so she'd really taken her time getting ready. Usually by this point in the evening she was a disheveled mess, but even she had to admit that she looked pretty hot. Who knows, maybe she would meet someone at the bar tonight. She had wanted to devote her life 24/7 to Max when he was an infant, but he was practically a toddler now, and old enough that she could start thinking about dating again.

If she could just get her mind off of Nathan. She only hoped when she saw him, there wasn't any of that morning-after awkwardness. Even though technically it was more than four mornings after.

Heart in her throat, she pulled the door open. Nathan stood on the porch, looking windblown and sexy as hell.
He usually dressed casually when he came to see Max, but this time he was still wearing his suit.

He looked her up and down, taking in her clingy black cashmere sweater, leggings and knee-high, spike-heeled boots. His eyes widened and he said, “Wow, you look great.”

She both loved and hated the warm glow of satisfaction that poured through her veins.

“Thanks,” she said, stepping back so he could come in out of the cold. Only when he was inside did she realize how tired he looked, as though he'd been up for several days straight.

“Sorry I'm a few minutes late,” he said. “A meeting ran long. I didn't even have time to go home and change.”

“You look exhausted.”

He shrugged out of his overcoat. “It's been a long week. We're about to go into production with a new ad campaign. Everything that could go wrong has. Thankfully we'll be shutting down for the holidays. I need a break.”

From across the room Max let out a squeal and jumped excitedly as he spotted Nathan.

“Hey buddy.” Nathan crossed the room to greet him, lifting him out of the exersaucer and hugging him. “I missed you.”

Ana's heart melted. “He had an extra long nap today so he might stay up a little bit later for you. Just make sure he's in bed by nine. We have to be up early to get ready for breakfast at my father's house.”

“You do that often?”

“A couple of times a month. My father is pretty busy most of the time, but he likes to see his grandson.”

“And you, I'm sure.”

“No, it's pretty much all about Max. My father and I barely say two words to each other. Unless he's lecturing
me on how to raise Max, then he has plenty to say. But it's a one-sided conversation.”

“Sounds a bit like my mother,” Nathan said. “She loves to hear herself talk. Is your dad single? Maybe we should set them up.”

“So you could be my stepbrother? It would be fun explaining that one to Max.”

Nathan laughed. “Good point.” He gestured to the Christmas tree. “It looks nice.”

“We decorated it Wednesday night.”

“We?”

“Me and Max, although admittedly I did most of the work.”

This wasn't so bad. They were both being incredibly polite, but that beat having nothing to say at all.

Ana glanced at the clock. “Beth is going to be here soon. Why don't I show you where everything is, so I don't have to make her wait.” Although the idea of staying home with Nathan and Max was far more seductive right now. But as Beth had implored on the phone the other day, Ana needed to get out and have fun. And she would. She would force herself.

Nathan had already been through the bedtime routine several times, but she showed him where the clean diapers and wipes were, and the pajamas in case Max dirtied the ones he was wearing.

“I left instructions in the kitchen on how to make a bottle, but you've seen me do it before,” she told Nathan. “You have my cell number, so don't hesitate to call if you need anything.”

“I'm sure I can manage,” he said. “Although lately I've developed a healthy respect for parents with young children. People don't realize what a daunting
responsibility it is. And you're doing ninety-nine percent of the work.”

“It's twice as hard for single moms,” she said as they walked back into the living room. “I'm fortunate that I have the financial means to raise my son however I choose. There are so many women who struggle on a daily basis, working two or three jobs to keep up. I've seriously been considering starting a local foundation for single mothers.”

“To help financially?”

“Financially, emotionally, whatever they need. We could offer job-training programs and legal help to get support from the deadbeat dads who refuse to own up to their responsibility.”

“It sounds like quite an undertaking.”

“Which is why I've only
talked
about starting it. For now at least, Max comes first.”

“I think you should do it,” he said.

It was definitely part of her long-term plans. And she couldn't deny that the idea of being responsible for something so big and important was a bit intimidating. She didn't even know for sure if it would be well received. Especially from someone like her. Despite having changed her ways, the press still liked to perpetuate the “party girl” persona. What if no one took her seriously?

She wouldn't know until she tried.

Outside, Beth laid on the horn.

“That's my ride,” she said. She pulled on her coat and grabbed her purse from the foyer table. She considered giving Max a kiss goodbye, but with Nathan holding him it might be a little weird. She blew him a kiss instead and said, “Bye, baby, I love you.”

“Have fun,” Nathan said.

“You too.” She forced herself to walk out the door and down to Beth's car.

“So,” Beth said a she climbed in. “First time leaving Nathan and Max alone?”

Ana fastened her seat belt. “Yep.”

“Are you nervous?”

“A little, maybe. But I'm sure they'll have fun.”

“How about you?” Beth asked with a mischievous smile. “Are you ready for some fun?”

Not just ready, she was long past due.

D
espite the music and the dancing, and the delicious margaritas, not to mention the men who had asked her to dance, Ana just couldn't seem to relax. All she could think about was Nathan and Max, and how she would much rather be at home with them than in this flashy, overrated meat market. But the flack she would get from Beth if she caught a cab home early wasn't worth the trouble.

What had happened to the carefree party girl? The one who would crawl out of her skin at the thought of a night at home? The one who had always been in motion, always in high gear and looking forward to the next adventure. Had motherhood really changed her so much? Or had it been Nathan? Back when they had first begun dating, she suddenly became not so opposed to the idea of settling down.

“So I guess tonight wasn't such a hot idea,” Beth said on the way home.

Was she really that transparent? Beth sounded so disappointed, Ana was overwhelmed with guilt. “I'm sorry. I guess I just miss Max.”

“We've been out lots of times since you had Max and missing him never stopped you from having a good time.” She glanced over at Ana. “When a drop-dead gorgeous man asks you to dance and you barely give him a passing glance, I'm guessing it has more to do with Max's babysitter.”

“I slept with Nathan.” She hadn't even meant to tell her. She just sort of blurted it out.

Beth winced. “Okay. I guess I saw this coming.”

“It's not going to happen again.”

Beth shot her a look. “Of course it isn't.”

“I mean it. We both agreed that it was just something we needed to get out of our systems, and now it's over.”

“That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Get him out of your system? With
sex
? You
love
the guy. Sleeping with him is just going to make you want him more.”

“Unfortunately I didn't figure that out until
after
I slept with him. It wouldn't be half as humiliating if I hadn't been the one doing the seducing. Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

Beth reached over and squeezed her hand. “I'm sorry, sweetie. Guys are scum.”

“He's actually not. That's the really awful part. He's a great guy. A good man. He's just not the man for me.”

Beth pulled up in front of her condo. “But you definitely aren't going to sleep with him again. Right?”

“Definitely not.” Especially if that meant making the first move again. She had degraded herself enough.

“You want me to come in with you and stay until he leaves? Just in case?”

“It's after midnight. You should get home.” She grabbed
her purse from the floor where it had dropped. “Besides, I think I learned my lesson.”

Beth kissed her cheek. “Love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow.”

Ana got out of the car, waving as Beth drove away, then she made her way, a bit unsteadily, to the front door. What a lightweight she'd turned out to be. In her party days she could single-handedly drain an entire pitcher of drinks and still ace a sobriety test. Tonight she'd had three margaritas and she could barely walk a straight line.

She unlocked the door and stepped inside, surprised that all the lights were off. So was the television. From the glow of the fire she could make out Nathan's form lying on the couch. He had looked beat when he got there. He must have fallen asleep.

She wobbled on her spike heels, so she tugged off her boots and crossed the room to wake him. But as she got closer she realized it wasn't just Nathan there. Max lay curled up on his chest, head tucked under Nathan's chin, sound asleep. One of Nathan's arms was flung over his head, and the other was wrapped protectively around his son. Sudden tears welled in her eyes, and a lump the size of the entire state of Texas plugged up her throat.

It was, hands down, the sweetest thing she had ever seen in her life.

She sat on the edge of the couch and stroked her son's soft little cheek. He was out cold, and so was Nathan. She rubbed Nathan's arm to wake him.

His eyes fluttered open and he gazed drowsily up at her. “Hey, what time is it?”

“A little after midnight. I take it Max couldn't sleep.”

Nathan rubbed Max's back. “He woke up around ten,” he said softly. “I think he was upset that you weren't here.
He wouldn't go back to sleep, so I brought him out here with me. I guess we both fell asleep.”

“I hope he wasn't too much trouble.”

“Not at all. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, it was great,” she lied. “It's always nice spending an evening with the girls.”

“I guess I should get him into bed.”

Ana rose from the couch. “You want me to take him?”

“I've got it.” He pushed himself gently up from the couch, cradling Max against his chest.

Ana followed them into Max's bedroom and watched as he laid Max in bed and covered him. Max was so dead to the world he didn't even stir. She tucked the blankets around him and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “Good night, sweetheart. Pleasant dreams.”

They stepped out of his room and she shut the door, then they walked to the living room. “Thanks for watching him.”

“It was no problem at all.”

“So, everything went okay? Besides him waking up, that is.”

“Yeah. We had fun.” He looked at his watch. “I should get home. You have an early morning.”

She wanted to invite him to stay. Offer him a drink, maybe throw herself in his arms and beg him to make love to her.

All the more reason to let him leave.

“I really do need to get to bed,” she said, and to herself added,
alone
.

They walked to the foyer. “Maybe I could come by tomorrow afternoon to see Max,” Nathan said. “We could get dinner.”

Seeing him two days in a row was a bad idea, but she
heard herself say, “Sure. We should be back from my dad's place around one.”

“I'll call you then.” He pulled on his coat, turned, and with his hand on the doorknob, he just stopped.

She considered saying something snarky, like
the door isn't going to open itself
, but only to hide the fact that her heart was suddenly beating out of her chest. She wasn't even sure why. She just…had a feeling. A feeling that something big was about to happen.

He let his hand fall from the knob and he turned to her. “I don't want to leave.”

Her heart rose up and lodged in her throat.
Tell him he has to. Tell him you have to get to sleep. Don't tempt fate.

“I was going to make myself a cup of tea,” she told him instead. “Would you like one?”

“I'd love one.”

 

Nathan stood in the kitchen, watching as Ana put the kettle on to boil, got two mugs down from the cupboard and dropped a tea bag in each one. The truth was, he hated tea. But if choking down a cup meant spending a little while longer with her, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

He knew she had to be up early, and if she had told him to leave he would have without question. He had half-expected her to come on to him again. She'd had opportunity. And when she hadn't, he'd felt almost…slighted. He knew they were supposed to be keeping their relationship platonic, for Max's sake, but what if that wasn't enough for him? What if he wanted more?

Which was exactly why he shouldn't be here. It wasn't fair to Ana to lead her on this way. The fact that she looked so damned sexy wasn't helping matters. There wasn't a single thing about her that he didn't find arousing and
irresistible. He wanted to believe that she'd dressed that way for him, and not some random stranger she had been hoping she might meet. After all, that was how he had met her. They happened to be at the same bar and Beth had introduced them.

That was assuming she had been at a bar tonight. She hadn't actually said where she was going, just that it was a ladies' night out. Considering the way she'd been dressed, that seemed the logical conclusion. But this was a woman who had worn spike-heeled boots to a six-year-old's birthday party. For all he knew she'd been at a Tupperware party tonight.

“So, what did you and Beth do tonight?” he asked, keeping his voice casually conversational.

“We went with a couple of friends to a new hot spot downtown.”

Aka a bar. “How was it?”

She shrugged. “A typical meat market. But the DJ was decent and the drinks weren't watered down.”

“But you had a good time?”

“It was…fun.”

How fun?
he wanted to ask, even though it really wasn't any of his business. But what if she had met someone else? Could that be the reason she was giving him the cold shoulder? If that was the case, it sure hadn't taken her long to move on, had it?

The kettle started to boil, so she poured water into the cups. “What do you take in your tea?”

“Sugar.” Or for all he knew she could have been seeing someone else this entire time. The fact that she hadn't slept with the guy didn't mean she wasn't planning on it. Maybe she was just taking it slow because of Max.

Or maybe he was letting his imagination get away from
him. He'd seen no hint of any man in her life—no one besides Max, that is.

“So, you go out to bars often?” he asked.

She set his cup, as well as the sugar bowl and a spoon, on the counter for him. “Not lately, but I'm thinking it's about time I get back into the game.”

“Which game is that?”

“Dating.”

Was she telling him this to piss him off, or make him jealous? Or was she really that clueless to the feelings he had for her? Was she taking this
friendship
thing a step too far? Confiding things he really didn't want to hear?

“You think going to bars is a good place to meet men?” he asked. If she heard the snip in his tone, she chose to ignore it.

She shrugged and said, “I suppose not. I met you at a place like that, and look where it got me.”

She sure knew how to hit below the belt.
Way
below the belt.

“Not that I would go back and change things even if I could,” she added. “Max is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“It's just me you wish you could remove from the equation,” he said.

“That's not what I meant. My point is, men don't go to bars looking for long-lasting monogamous relationships. All I have to do is mention I have a son and they practically run screaming in the opposite direction.” She palmed her cup. “Then of course there are the men who would pretend to be Max's best buddy if it meant getting their hands on my trust fund. For a woman in my position, it's hard to know who to trust.”

“Maybe until Max gets a little older, it would be better if you just concentrated on taking care of him.”

She laughed, but it came out cold and bitter. “That's really easy for you to say.”

“How do you figure? Why would you assume it's any easier for me?”

Clearly he'd hit a nerve. She glared up at him. “You can do whatever you want, when you want, and be with whomever you please. With a baby to care for 24/7, I don't have that luxury.”

He took a step closer. “For the record, there's only one woman I want to
be with
. But
she
thinks it would be too complicated.”

Her eyes widened slightly and she turned toward the window, gazing out into the darkness. “Please don't say things like that.”

He stepped up behind her, could feel her shoulders tense as he laid his hands on them. “Why not?”

“Because you know I can't.”

And he couldn't stand the idea of her being with anyone but him. He slid his hands down her arms, then back up again. “You don't want me anymore?”

He knew she did, and maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted to hear her say it. And maybe…maybe this time things could be different. He couldn't even recall the last time he'd let his temper get the best of him. Maybe he'd really changed.

“I do want you,” she said softly. “Too much. But I know you'll just hurt me again.”

“So, you're finally willing to admit that I actually did hurt you. That's a start.”

“I think you should leave.”

“I don't want to.” He eased her hair aside, pressed his lips to the side of her neck. She moaned softly and leaned back, her body molding against his.

“I can't sleep with you, Nathan.”

He eased her sweater aside and kissed her shoulder. He could feel her melting, giving in. “Who said anything about sleeping?”

“Please don't do this,” she said, but he could tell she was losing her will to fight him.

“What if things could be different this time? What if
I'm
different?”

She went very still in his arms, and he knew he'd gotten her attention. “What are you saying, Nathan?”

He turned her so that she was facing him. “I want to be with you, Ana. With you and Max.”

She looked confused, and terrified. And hopeful. “You're not just saying that to get me into bed, are you?”

“Does that really sound like something I would do?”

She shook her head. “No. But what about work? Your career.”

Good question. “We would have to keep our relationship secret for a while. At least until I'm offered the CEO position. Once I'm under contract, they'll have a tough time getting rid of me. Besides, it won't take them long to realize that when it comes to work, my loyalty is to them.”

“How long?”

“Adam is resigning in early spring at the latest. He plans to be gone before their baby is born. I'm assuming the new CEO will be announced at least a month prior.”

“So, we're talking another three or four months of sneaking around?”

“Worst case, yes. But it could be sooner.” He touched her cheek, smoothed back the fiery strands resting there. “After that, I don't care who knows.”