A Cousin's Promise (2 page)

Whispered voices. Strange smells. A heaviness in his body he couldn’t explain. Where was he? What was going on?

Wayne groaned and struggled to open his eyes.

“It’s okay, son. We’re here.”

“Mom, is—is that you?”

“Jah, Wayne.” He felt the warmth of his mother’s fingers on his hand. He heard the sadness in her voice. Something was terribly wrong.

“I’m here, too, son.”

“Pop?”

“Jah.”

Wayne’s eyes finally opened, and two blurry faces came into view. “Wh–where am I?”

Mom squeezed his fingers. “You’re in the hospital.”

“Wh–what am I doing here?”

“You were in an accident,” Pop said. “The van you were riding in hit a telephone pole, and—”

Pop’s voice faded as Wayne’s memories took over. There was a bee in the van. Katie was screaming. Paul turned around. A semi-truck came at them. Paul swerved. They hit a pole. Someone screamed. Then everything went black.

“Loraine! Is—is she hurt? Is she—”

“Loraine’s all right. She and Katie suffered some bumps and bruises, but neither of them was seriously injured,” Mom said.

A sense of relief washed over Wayne. He wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to Loraine. She was the love of his life—soon to be his bride. “Wh–what about the others? Were any of them hurt?”

Mom nodded, and her pinched expression let him know the news wasn’t good.

“Who got hurt?”

“Jolene and Ella suffered head injuries, but from what we heard, Ella’s was only a mild concussion.” Mom pursed her lips. “Jolene suffered damage to her auditory nerves and lost her hearing.”

Wayne drew in a sharp breath. “That’s baremlich!”

Pop nodded. “You’re right, it’s terrible. Now she’ll have to learn to read lips and speak with her hands.”

“What about the others? Are they okay?”

“Andrew has a broken arm and a few other minor injuries, but he’ll be all right once he heals.” Pop slowly shook his head. “The other fellows weren’t so lucky, though.”

“Wh–what do you mean?”

“They didn’t make it, son. Raymond, Timothy, and your driver are dead.”

Wayne gulped on the sob rising in his throat. His friends couldn’t be dead. There had to be a mistake. “Wh–where’s Loraine? I need to see her!”

“She’s in the waiting room.” Mom glanced over at Pop. “We thought it would be best if we spoke to you first. There’s something you need to know.”

“What?”

“It–it’s about your injuries.”

“My brain feels kind of foggy right now, but I—I think I’m okay.” Wayne managed a weak smile. “I’m alive, anyway.”

“You have lots of bumps, bruises, and a few broken ribs, but the worst injury was to your left leg. It—” Mom covered her mouth with the palm of her hand as her voice broke on a sob.

“What’s wrong with my leg?” Wayne struggled to keep his eyes open. He needed some answers. He needed them now.

Pop laid a hand on Wayne’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to be tellin’ you this, son, but you lost it.”

“Wh–what are you talking about, Pop? What’d I lose?”

Mom sniffled. “Your leg was badly injured. It had to be amputated.”

Wayne lifted his head off the pillow. “Wh–what’d you say?”

Mom patted his arm as if she were soothing a fussy baby. “The doctor took your leg from just above the knee.”

Wayne’s head fell back on the pillow as the stark realization of what she’d said settled over him like a dark cloud. He had only one leg. He was a farmer. He needed two good legs. He was getting married soon. His world had been turned upside down!

Sweat trickled from Wayne’s forehead and dripped into his eyes. Mom wiped it away with a tissue. “We feel your loss, too,” she murmured, “but we’ll get through this tragedy together.”

Wayne blinked a couple of times. “Does—does Loraine know about my leg?”

Mom nodded. “She was with us when the doctor gave us the news.”

“What’d she say? How’d she take it?”

“I think you should ask her those questions.” Pop turned to Mom and motioned to the door. “Why don’t you go to the waiting room and get Loraine now?”

She hesitated a moment, released a deep sigh, and finally left the room.

Wayne’s hand shook as he massaged his throbbing head. After the series of shocks he’d suffered today, he needed something to settle his nerves and block out the pain.

“My son wants to see you.”

At the sound of Ada’s voice, Loraine jumped out of her seat. “Did—did you tell him about his leg?”

Ada nodded as tears welled in her eyes.

“How’d he take it?”

“Not well. I think he’s more upset about losing two of his friends than his leg, though.”

“Maybe the reality hasn’t set in.”

“Jah.” Ada glanced around. “I don’t see your folks anywhere. Haven’t they arrived yet?”

“No, but I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” Loraine moved toward the doorway. “I’m ready to see Wayne.”

As Loraine and Ada walked toward the elevator, the echo of their footsteps resounded in the hall. It reminded Loraine of her horse pulling her buggy up a hill.
Clip ... clop ... clip ... clop.

“I hope you won’t say anything to upset Wayne,” Ada said as they stepped up to the elevator.

Loraine bristled. “Of course not. What are you worried I might say?”

Ada pursed her lips. “I don’t think you should mention anything about marrying him. At least not right now.”

“What are you saying?”

“Wayne’s lost a leg. He’ll need lots of care, and—”

“We may not be able to get married on the day we planned, but we’ll be married as soon as he’s sufficiently healed.”

A look of shock registered on Ada’s face. “Then you’re not going to back out on the marriage?”

“Of course not. I love Wayne, and I can’t wait to be his wife.”

“I—I just thought....” Ada sighed. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to marry a man with a handicap such as Wayne’s.”

Hoping, isn’t that what you mean?
“Wayne’s handicap doesn’t affect the way I feel about him,” Loraine said without voicing her thoughts.

“You say that now, but you don’t know how hard things are going to be for Wayne in the days ahead. He won’t be able to farm anymore, and he’ll need lots of care.”

“I realize things will be difficult. Wayne will have many adjustments to make, but we’ll get through it together.” The elevator door zipped open, and Loraine stepped in behind Ada. She couldn’t believe the woman thought she wouldn’t want to marry her son because he’d lost his leg. But then, after Ada’s earlier remarks, Loraine was sure Ada wanted Wayne to marry Fern instead of her.

The elevator opened, and as Loraine followed Ada down the hospital corridor, she sent up a silent prayer.
Lord, please give me the right words to say to Wayne. Help me not to break down in tears when I see him, and show me a way to let Ada know how much I care for her son.

“Here we are.” Ada halted in front of a door, drew in a sharp breath, and pushed it open.

Loraine stepped into the room. Her heart pounded against her rib cage, and the scene that greeted her blurred her vision. Wayne looked so pale and helpless lying in his bed. He looked like a sick little boy.

I can give in to my tears some other time,
Loraine told herself.
Right now I need to be strong and positive for Wayne.

“Let’s leave these two alone so they can talk,” Crist said to Ada. He moved toward the door.

She hesitated but finally followed.

At the door, Crist turned and gave Loraine a reassuring smile. “We’ll be in the waiting room.”

Loraine waited until Wayne’s parents left the room before she moved to the side of his bed. “H–how are you feeling?”

“How do you think I feel? I lost my leg.”

She nodded, barely able to speak around the lump in her throat. Wayne had never spoken to her so harshly. But then, he’d never lost a leg before.

He stared at the ceiling. “I guess you know what this means.”

She seated herself in the chair beside his bed. “It means there will be some adjustments to make, and—”

“It means there will be no wedding for us at the end of October.”

“Maybe not October, but when you’re better we can—”

“I’m never going to be any better, Loraine. I’ll always be without my leg.”

“In time you’ll be fitted with a prosthesis, and then—”

“I want my own leg, not an artificial one; it would slow me down. I’m a farmer. Farmers need two good legs.” A deep groan escaped his lips. “If I can’t farm, I can’t support a wife and family. If I can’t offer financial support, then I won’t get married.”

“Maybe you can find a different job—one that doesn’t require you to be on your feet so much.”

“I don’t want another job. I’ve never wanted to do anything but farm.” Wayne shook his head. “We can’t be married, Loraine. I won’t ask you to make that sacrifice.”

“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice.”

“Jah, it would.” His head lolled to one side, and his eyelids fluttered as though it took all his strength to keep them open.

Loraine was tempted to argue about whether they could get married or not but knew it was best not to say too much. Wayne was weak and needed time to heal from his surgery. They could speak of this again when he felt a bit stronger.

“Did—your folks tell you about the others?” she asked hesitantly.

He nodded. “If I’d known we were gonna be in an accident, I wouldn’t have agreed to go to Hershey Park. I wish now that I’d said no.”

Loraine’s spine went rigid. Did Wayne blame her for the accident, too? “I–I’m so sorry. I wish I hadn’t suggested the trip. I wish there hadn’t been a bee in the van. I wish Paul—” She gulped on a sob, unable to finish her sentence.

“Does Paul’s wife know he’s dead?”

She nodded. “She took it pretty hard. So did Timothy’s and Raymond’s parents.”

Wayne heaved a labored breath and closed his eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Would you like me to leave so you can get some sleep?”

“Jah.”

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Wayne.” No reply.

“Wayne?”

No response.

With an ache in her soul such as she’d never felt before, Loraine tiptoed out of the room, wondering what the future held for her and Wayne.

The next few days went by in a blur as Loraine and her family comforted those who’d lost loved ones and those who were dealing with injuries. The day when they would attend Timothy’s and Raymond’s funerals arrived. Not everyone, however, would be in attendance. Wayne and Jolene were still in the hospital.

“Are you doing all right?” Mom asked when Loraine entered the kitchen that morning. “I see dark circles under your eyes, and your face looks awfully pale.”

Loraine pushed a wisp of hair off her forehead and sighed. “I haven’t slept well since the night of the accident, but I’m sure there are others in much worse shape than me this morning.”

Mom nodded. “I feel terrible for my sister Verna. It’s not natural for a parent to lose a child. It doesn’t seem possible that Raymond is dead.”

The ache in Loraine’s heart struck swiftly, and she nearly doubled over from the pain. She felt so guilty for suggesting they make the trip to Pennsylvania. “If I hadn’t asked Paul to drive us to Hershey Park, everyone would still be alive and well.”

Mom left the stove where she’d been frying bacon and gave Loraine a hug. “I want you to stop blaming yourself. There was no way you could have known when you planned the trip that it would end in a tragic accident.”

Loraine sniffed as a film of tears obscured her vision. “In my head I know that, but my heart says something different.”

“It’s hard not to blame ourselves when things go wrong, but you need to remember that the accident wouldn’t have happened if Paul had kept his eyes on the road.”

“Are you’re saying it was his fault?”

“He made a mistake, but I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose.” Mom’s shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. “Rather than casting blame, we need to concentrate on helping our family and friends get through the funerals. It’s going to be a difficult day.”

Loraine nodded. “I’ve hired a driver to take me to the hospital later this afternoon. I’m sure Wayne and Jolene would like to know how everything goes at the funerals, since they’re unable to be with us today. Besides, I need to see how they’re both doing.”

“Speaking of Wayne,” Mom said, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Something about Wayne?”

“Jah.” Mom cleared her throat a couple of times. “I talked with Ada at church yesterday, and she said because of Wayne’s injuries, there won’t be a wedding for the two of you after all.”

Irritation welled in Loraine’s soul. “He won’t be well enough for us to get married in October as we’d planned, but as soon as he’s feeling strong enough, we’ll set a new wedding date.” She saw no point in mentioning that Wayne had said they couldn’t be married at all because of his handicap. She also chose not to mention that she’d overheard Ada say she wished her son had picked Fern Bontrager to marry. It hurt too much to talk about it. Besides, once Wayne felt better, he would change his mind. By then, she hoped to be on better terms with his mother. Things had to work out; she couldn’t allow herself to think otherwise.

Mom drummed her fingers along the edge of the table. “I have some concerns about your marrying Wayne.”

“What concerns?”

“I’m sure you must realize that his disability will probably keep him from farming.”

“He can find another job—something that won’t require two good legs. Something he can do from a wheelchair, if necessary.”

“Loraine’s right,” Dad said as he entered the kitchen. “Wayne may have lost a leg, but he’s a hard worker with a determined spirit. I’m sure he’ll find a job that will allow him to provide adequately for our daughter.”

Loraine swiped at the tears dribbling down her cheeks. She knew from what Wayne had said to her at the hospital the other day that he, too, was worried he couldn’t provide for her.

The things he said were only the shock of learning he’s lost a leg,
she told herself.
Once he’s had a chance to think more about it, he’ll realize we can work through this together. That’s what people who love each other do.

As Ella Yoder stood in front of her brother’s plain wooden coffin, a sense of determination welled in her soul. In a short time, family and friends would arrive for Raymond’s funeral. Later this afternoon, they would go to the Lehmans’ for Timothy’s funeral. Ella would need to remain strong. She’d have to look out for her younger siblings and take care of her mother’s needs. Mama had taken the news of Raymond’s death hard. She’d barely been able to cope since then.

Ella was glad the injuries she had sustained weren’t serious. Her concussion had been mild, and the cuts and bruises on her legs and arms would heal quickly. She wasn’t sure how quickly Mama would heal, however. Truth be told, Mama might never get over losing her firstborn son.

Ella heard someone approaching, and she whirled around.

“People are beginning to arrive,” Papa said. “Loraine’s here with her family. She wants to speak with you.”

“Oh, okay.” Ella stepped into the living room where Loraine stood with her parents, Amos and Priscilla.

“How’s Wayne doing?” Ella asked, giving Loraine a hug.

“As well as can be expected.”

“How long will he be in the hospital?”

“I don’t know. I’ve hired a driver to take me to see him later today. I should know more then.”

“I’m sure it’s hard for Wayne not to be at his friends’ funerals today.”

“Jah.”

“Losing a leg must be hard for him, too.”

Tears pooled in Loraine’s eyes. “He doesn’t want to get married. He thinks he’ll be a burden on me.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “Mom doesn’t want me to marry Wayne, either. She as much as said so this morning.” Her chin trembled. “Wayne’s
mamm
is against us getting married, too. I think she’s been against it from the very beginning. I just didn’t realize it until the night of the accident.”

“What are you going to do? I mean, if Wayne wants to call of the wedding, and your mamm and Wayne’s mamm think you shouldn’t get married—”

“I don’t care what they think. I love Wayne, and I promised to marry him.” Loraine lifted her chin a notch. “I’m going to keep that promise, no matter what anyone says.”

“But if he won’t marry you...”

“He will. He’s just confused and hurting right now.” Loraine slipped her arm around Ella’s shoulder. “Enough about me. How are you feeling this morning? Does your head still hurt?”

Ella touched her forehead. “It feels better than it did a few days ago. I’m worried about Mama, though. She’s having a hard time dealing with Raymond’s death.”

“I’m sure it’s hard for all of you.”

“Jah.” Ella glanced toward the door. “Oh, there’s Katie and her family. I wonder how she’s holding up.”

Loraine could tell Ella was doing her best to put on a brave front. Worrying about others seemed to be how she’d chosen to deal with her pain. Ella had always been a nurturing person, even when they were young girls. Loraine thought about the time her kitten had drowned in the creek. Ella had been so sympathetic that she’d given up her own kitten so Loraine wouldn’t cry.

“Let’s go talk to Katie before the service begins.” Ella linked arms with Loraine and led her across the room.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Lambright? Is the pain medicine working for you?”

Wayne grunted as a youthful-looking nurse with short brown hair stuck a thermometer under his tongue. How was he supposed to answer her question with something foreign in his mouth?

When she removed the thermometer, she asked again, “Is the pain medicine working for you?”

“It helps some, but it makes me real sleepy.”

“That’s to be expected.” She slipped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. “Are you in pain right now?”

He shook his head.

When she removed the cuff, she listened to his heart and checked the bandages on the stub of his leg. “The doctor will be in later to examine your leg. Is there anything I can get for you?”

A new leg would be nice.
“No, I’m fine.”

“Would you like the TV turned on?”

“No, thanks. I have no interest in watching that.”

“Oh, that’s right. You Amish don’t have TVs in your homes, do you?”

“No, and even if we did, I wouldn’t be interested in watching it. I have better things to do with my time. At least I used to,” he added bitterly.

The nurse quirked an eyebrow and placed the call button close to his hand. “Let us know if you need anything,” she said before leaving the room.

Wayne reached for the Bible on the nightstand by his bed. Chaplain Taylor had left it there when he’d dropped by Wayne’s room the other day.

Wayne opened it randomly, and his gaze came to rest on John 11:43–44:
“And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice,
Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.”

The page blurred, and Wayne blinked several times, hoping to keep the tears he felt pushing against his eyelids from falling onto his face.
Today, two of my good friends will be buried. Tomorrow is Paul’s funeral. If Jesus were here, He could bring all three of them back to life. He did it for Lazarus; He could do it for my friends.

Wayne’s stomach twisted as his thoughts raced on.
I wish it had been me who’d been killed in the accident. It would have been better than living with only one leg. I can’t marry Loraine. I won’t be able to farm anymore, and I wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

Wayne thought about the excitement he’d felt when he’d climbed into that van with Loraine and the others. The memory of how happy he and Loraine had been that afternoon shot through him like a knife. He was no longer a happy, excited, soon-to-be groom. He was an ugly half-man with a missing limb.

A huge knot formed in his throat as helpless fury swept over him. He grabbed his water glass and hurled it across the room, wincing when it smashed against the wall and broke. Nothing would ever be the same for him. Nothing!