A Cry In the Night (12 page)

“And this is your gift.”

Speechless, Jenny stared at a bay Morgan mare who returned her gaze amiably.

“She's a treasure,” Erich exulted. “Four years old,
impeccable breeding, gentle. She's already won half a dozen ribbons. Do you like her?”

Jenny reached a hand to pat the mare's head and was thrilled that the animal did not draw back. “What's her name?”

“The breeder called her Fire Maid. Claims she has fire and heart as well as heritage. Of course you can call her anything you want.”

“Fire and heart,” Jenny whispered. “That's a lovely combination. Erich, I'm so delighted.”

He looked pleased. “I don't want you riding yet. The fields are still too icy. But if you and the girls start making friends with the horses and visiting them every day, by next month you can get started on lessons. Now if you don't mind, how about lunch?”

Impulsively Jenny turned to Mark. “You can't have had lunch either. Won't you join us? It's just cold meat and a salad.”

She caught Erich's frown but was relieved to see it disappear as fast as it came. “Please do, Mark,” he urged.

Over lunch Jenny realized that she was constantly thinking about Fire Maid. Finally Erich said, “Darling, you have the most happy-child smile on your face. Is it me or the bay mare?”

“Erich, I have to say I'm so darn delighted about that horse I haven't even begun to think about thanking you.”

“Have you ever had a pet, Jenny?” Mark asked.

There was something sturdy and easygoing about Mark that made her feel instantly at home in his presence. “I
almost
had a pet,” she laughed. “One of our neighbors in New York had a miniature poodle. When puppies were born I used to stop every afternoon on my way home from school to help take care of them. I was about eleven or twelve. But we weren't allowed to have pets in our apartment.”

“So you always felt cheated,” Mark guessed.

“I certainly felt as though I missed something growing up.”

They finished coffee and Mark pushed back his chair. “Jenny, thank you. This has been very pleasant.”

“I wish you'd come to dinner when Erich gets back from Atlanta. Bring a date.”

“That's a good idea,” Erich agreed, and she thought he sounded as though he meant it. “How about Emily, Mark? She's always had an eye for you.”

“She always had an eye for
you,”
Mark corrected. “But yes, I will ask her.”

•   •   •

Before Erich left, he held her tightly. “I'll miss you so, Jenny. Be sure to lock the doors at night.”

“I will. We'll be fine.”

“The roads are icy. If you want something from the store let Joe drive you.”

“Erich, I'm a big girl,” she protested. “Don't worry about me.”

“I can't help it. I'll call you tonight, darling.”

That night Jenny felt a guilty sense of freedom as she lay propped up in bed reading. The house was still except for the occasional hum of the furnace as it went off and on. From across the hallway she could hear Tina occasionally talking in her sleep. She smiled, realizing that Tina never woke up crying anymore.

Erich should have gotten to Atlanta by now. He'd be calling soon. She glanced around the room. The closet door was half open and she'd left her robe tossed over the slipper chair. Erich would have objected, of course, but tonight she didn't have to worry.

She returned to her book. An hour later the telephone rang. She reached for the receiver eagerly. “Hello, darling,” she said.

“What a nice way to be greeted, Jen.”

It was Kevin.

“Kevin.” Jenny pulled herself up from the pillows so suddenly that her book slid from the bed onto the floor. “Where are you?”

“In Minneapolis. The Guthrie Theater. I'm auditioning.”

Jenny felt acute uneasiness. “Kevin, that's wonderful.” She tried to sound convincing.

“We'll see what happens. How's it going with you, Jen?”

“Very, very well.”

“And the kids?”

“They're simply fine.”

“I'm coming down to see them. You gonna be home tomorrow?” His words were slurred, his tone aggressive.

“Kevin, no.”

“I want to see my kids, Jen. Where's Krueger?”

Something warned Jenny not to admit that Erich would be gone for four days.

“He's out at the moment. I thought he was calling now.”

“Give me directions for getting to your place. I'll borrow a car.”

“Kevin, you can't do that. Erich would be furious. You have no right here.”

“I have every right to see my children. That adoption isn't final yet. I can stop it by snapping my fingers. I want to be sure Tina and Beth are happy. I want to be sure you're happy, Jen. Maybe we both made a mistake. Maybe we should talk about it. Now how do I get to your place?”

“You're not coming!”

“Jen, Granite Place is on the map. And I guess everybody there knows where Mr. High and Mighty lives.”

Jenny felt her palms become sticky as she gripped
the phone. She could imagine the gossip in town if Kevin showed up asking directions to Krueger Farm. It would be just like him to say he'd been married to her. She remembered the look in Erich's face when he'd seen Kevin in the foyer of the apartment on their wedding day.

“Kev,” she pleaded, “don't come here. You'll spoil everything for us. The girls and I are very happy. I've always been pretty decent to you. Have I ever once turned you down when you asked me for money even when I hardly had my own rent? That should count for something.”

“I know you did, Jen.” Now his voice took on the intimate, coaxing tone she knew so well. “As a matter of fact I'm a little short right now and you're loaded. How about giving me the rest of the furniture money?”

Jenny felt relief flood her. He was just looking for money. That would make it a lot easier. “Where do you want me to send it?”

“I'll come down for it.”

He was obviously determined to see her. There was no way she could allow him to come to this house, even to this town. She shuddered, thinking how painstakingly Erich had been teaching the girls to say Beth Krueger, Tina Krueger.

There was a small restaurant in the shopping center twenty miles away. It was the only place she could think of to suggest. Quickly she gave Kevin directions and agreed to meet him at one o'clock the next day.

After he hung up she leaned back on the pillows. The relaxed pleasure of the evening was gone. Now she dreaded Erich's call. Should she tell him that she was going to see Kevin?

When Erich's call came she still was not sure what to do. Erich sounded tense. “I miss you. I'm sorry I came, darling. Did the girls ask for me tonight?”

She still hesitated to tell him about Kevin. “Of course they did. And Beth is starting to call her dolls ‘critters.'”

Erich laughed. “They'll end up talking like Joe yet. I should let you go to sleep.”

She had to tell him. “Erich . . .”

“Yes, darling.”

She paused, suddenly remembering Erich's astonishment when she admitted giving Kevin half the furniture money, his suggestion that maybe she wanted him to have plane fare to Minnesota. She
couldn't
tell him about meeting Kevin. “I... I love you so much, Erich. I wish you were here right now.”

“Oh, darling, so do I. Good night.”

She could not sleep. The moonlight filtered into the room, reflecting against the crystal bowl. Jenny thought that the bowl seemed almost urn-shaped as it stood silhouetted on the dresser. Could ashes be pine-scented? she wondered. What a crazy, horrible thought, she chided herself restlessly. Caroline was buried in the family cemetery. Even so, Jenny suddenly felt uneasy enough to want to go in and check the girls. They were deeply asleep. Beth had her cheek pillowed on her hand. Tina was fetal-positioned, the satin binding of the blanket hugged against her face.

Jenny kissed them softly. They looked so content. She thought about how happy they were to have her home with them all day, about their ecstasy when Erich had shown them the ponies. Silently she vowed that Kevin was not going to spoil this new life for them.

T
he keys to the Cadillac were in the farm office, but Erich kept spare keys to all the buildings and machines in the library. It would make sense that the extra Cadillac keys were there as well.

Her guess was right. Slipping them in the pocket of her slacks, she fed the girls an early lunch and settled them for a nap. “Elsa, I have an errand to do. I'll be back by two o'clock.”

Elsa nodded. Was Elsa naturally this taciturn? She didn't think so. Sometimes when she'd come in after skiing with Erich, Tina and Beth would be already awake and she'd hear Elsa chatting with them, her Swedish accent more pronounced when she spoke quickly. But when Jenny or Erich was around, she was silent.

The country roads had a few patches of ice but the highway was completely clear. Jenny realized how good it felt to drive again. She smiled to herself, remembering the weekend jaunts she and Nana took in her secondhand Beetle. But after she and Kev were
married she'd had to sell it; the upkeep had become too expensive. Now she would ask Erich to pick up a small car for her.

It was twenty of one when she got to the restaurant. Surprisingly Kevin was already there, a nearly empty carafe of wine in front of him. She slid into the booth and looked across the table. “Hello, Kev.” Incredible that in less than a month he could seem older, less buoyant. His eyes were puffy. Was Kevin drinking too much? she wondered.

He reached for her hand. “Jenny, I've missed you. I've missed the kids.”

She disengaged her fingers. “Tell me about the Guthrie.”

“I'm pretty sure I've got the job. I'd better have it. Broadway is tight as a drum. And I'll be that much nearer you and the kids out here. Jen, let's try again.”

“Kev, you're crazy.”

“No, I'm not. You're beautiful, Jenny. I like that outfit. That jacket must have cost a fortune.”

“I guess it was expensive.”

“You're classy, Jen. I always knew it but didn't think about it. I always believed you'd be there for me.

Again he covered her hand with his. “Are you happy, Jen?”

“Yes, I am. Look, Erich would be terribly upset about my seeing you. I have to tell you you didn't make much of an impression on him the last time you met.”

“And he didn't make much of an impression on me when he stuck a piece of paper in front of me and told me you'd sue me for nonsupport and attach every nickle I ever made if I didn't sign.”

“Erich said that!”

“Erich said that.
Come on, Jen. That was a lousy trick. I was up for a part in the new Hal Prince
musical. That would have really queered me. Too bad I didn't know I'd already been eliminated. Believe me, there wouldn't have been any adoption papers signed.”

“It isn't that simple,” Jenny said. “I know Erich gave you two thousand dollars.”

“That was just a loan.”

She was torn between pity for Kevin and the nagging certainty that he would always use the girls as a wedge for staying in her life. She opened her pocketbook. “Kev, I must get back. Here's the three hundred dollars. But after today, please don't contact me; don't try to see the children. If you do, you'll make trouble for them, for you, for me.”

He took the money, flipped his fingers idly through the bills, then put them in his wallet. “Jen, you want to know something. I have a bad feeling about you and the kids. It's something I can't explain. But I do.”

Jenny got up. In an instant Kevin was beside her, his arms were pulling her to him. “I still love you, Jenny.” His kiss was harsh and demanding.

She could not pull away without creating a scene. It was fully half a minute before she felt his arms loosen and she could step back. “Leave us alone,” she whispered. “I beg you, I
warn
you, Kevin, leave us alone.”

She almost bumped into the waitress who was standing behind her, order pad in hand. The two women at the window table were staring at them.

As Jenny fled from the restaurant she realized why one of the women seemed familiar. She had sat across the aisle from them at church on Sunday morning.