A Daring Affair (18 page)

He rubbed his chin against the top of her head as his hand sifted through her silky hair. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

She looked up and saw the look of chagrin in his eyes. “You know you mean a lot to me too, Eric,” she said softly.

He bent to kiss her on her lips. “I care about you deeply, sweetheart,” he mumbled against her lips.

Mia desperately wanted to hear him say that he loved her, but perhaps he needed to hear her say the words to him first. She would have to find the courage to say them, sooner rather than later.

* * *

Drained of all energy, Mia felt boneless and spent after another bout of toe-curling lovemaking with Eric. He had made love to her with a ferocity that shook her to her core. He gathered her into his arms, and she couldn’t stop herself from saying the three words that she had been holding back for weeks now.

“I love you, Eric,” Mia whispered. She felt nervous as she said the words, but she was finally glad to say them to him.

An emotion, unlike any other she had seen before, flared in his eyes. It made her pulse quicken but then he quickly shuttered his expression. The three words she had been hoping he would say never came. With a heavy heart, she realized that perhaps she had been hoping for too much.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, sensing his withdrawal.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mia,” he answered. He placed a kiss on her cheek and stared down into her eyes. “You know how much I care about you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she answered, hope rising at his words.

“Let’s just take this slowly,” he said carefully.

Mia felt a dull ache, and she looked away from him, so he wouldn’t see her hurt and disappointment.

“Our relationship is important to me,” Eric said firmly, placing a finger under her chin, gently coaxing her to look at him again. “I just don’t want us to rush.”

“I tell you that I love you, and all you can tell me is that you want us to take it slow, and you don’t want us to rush?” Mia asked, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. Eric sighed and she closed her eyes to block out his attractive face. She was beginning to feel that what they had together contained more lust than substance, and baring her heart to him had probably been yet another impulsive mistake.

“Mia, you don’t understand,” he said patiently. “I want us to be together, but I know from experience that it’s best to take one day at a time.”

Eric traced a finger over her face, and added earnestly, “We’ve only known each other for five weeks, and we’ll be leaving Maui in a week. I don’t intend to end our relationship once we’re back in Edmonton, but I don’t want us to rush into things just because we’re leaving the island.”

“I didn’t say I love you because we’re leaving Maui soon, Eric” she said in exasperation. “I said it because I mean it.”

“Thank you, Mia,” he said, nodding. “I hope you know that I will never do anything to hurt you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said tonelessly. There was nothing else to say.

She closed her eyes and shut him out. Didn’t he realize that he had already hurt her? She turned on her side and hugged a pillow. She felt him place his hand gently on her hair before he rose out of bed to go to the bathroom. She squeezed her eyes tightly, but nothing could prevent her tears from falling or the sorrow she felt for being so naïve.

Eric didn’t love her, and that made her heart squeeze painfully. She wasn’t about to tell him about the baby now. If he thought that her saying, “I love you” was rushing things, how much more for a baby on its way? She didn’t want to end up being his proverbial ball and chain.

Mia resolved that no matter what happened, she was going to keep her baby a secret, at least for now. She didn’t want his thanks, she wanted his love, and if he couldn’t give it to her, then she would find a way to raise her baby on her own.

* * *

Eric stepped into the shower and closed his eyes as the warm spray hit his face. The combination of raw hunger and stark need had coalesced into a maelstrom of emotions, leaving him feeling weak and vulnerable. The intense feelings coursing through him were too new and foreign, and far from comfortable. He needed time to absorb what he felt for Mia.

He’d had many affairs, but never any serious girlfriends. Even Leilani had not been able to get him to commit for long. But with Mia, he kept envisioning having children with her, raising them together, and growing old with her. He had never needed anybody to fulfill his life. He had been content to be in charge of the hotels and be the trusted, right-hand man to his boss. He neither liked nor was accustomed to major changes in his personal life.

Mia had distracted him since he first set eyes on her. She was wild and sexy in bed, and mischievous and adventurous out of it. She had swiftly become his girlfriend, and was now living with him. It was all happening too fast, and he needed to press the pause button on their rapidly evolving relationship because he wanted to feel in control again.

He stepped out of the shower, toweled himself dry, and put on his robe. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and resolved that it was time he took the driver’s seat in his personal life again. Mia didn’t know the impact her words had on him. The only other woman who had told him that she loved him was Leilani, and he had not quite believed her.

It was different with Mia. He had felt the sincerity of her words deep in his heart. He had seen and keenly felt her disappointment when he had failed to say the words he knew she wanted to hear. But telling her he loved her wouldn’t be fair because he honestly didn’t know if it was true.

When he walked back into the bedroom, he found she was gone.

* * *

Mia decided that she needed to get away from Eric. She was upset, confused, and a little depressed. The last thing she wanted to do was spend more time with the man who didn’t seem to want her as much as she wanted him.

She borrowed Eric’s bicycle, biked to a nearby beach and sat on a grassy knoll. There were several dozen people swimming and enjoying the waves in the late afternoon. She watched a group of children gleefully swimming in the water, calling out to their mothers sitting on the beach. Mia glanced down at her stomach and pondered the impending, enormous responsibility. It was difficult to believe that she would be having a child of her own soon.

Mia decided to leave the bicycle on the knoll and walked down the path toward the beach. She sat on the white sand and allowed the warm breeze and the sounds of the surf to soothe her frayed nerves. She wasn’t going to change her mind about not telling Eric about the baby. The man was obviously confused and didn’t know what to do about her, but that wasn’t her problem.

Right now, her priority was her baby, and she wasn’t going to allow anyone to make her baby feel unwanted or insecure, even though she felt that way herself.

“Children are so funny, aren’t they?”

Mia glanced over at a woman sitting on a colorful beach blanket a few feet away. She looked to be in her early thirties, and wore a black bathing suit. She was taking out colorful, plastic toys from a large beach bag. The woman looked up and gave Mia a friendly smile.

“My kids beg me to bring their beach toys, but when we get here they don’t play with them.”

Mia smiled back at her. “Maybe they’ll play with them later.”

The woman shook her head. “No, they never really do. I’m forced to lug around these toys wherever we go.” The woman paused. “Hi, I’m Tania.”

“I’m Mia.”

“You have kids?”

“Not yet, but I’m expecting.”

“Congratulations,” grinned Tania. “Let me tell you something, kids are wonderful, except when they’re not.”

Mia laughed and looked at two children cavorting in the ocean. The boy and the girl looked alike. They waved at Tania, and she waved back at them. They hurriedly placed their snorkeling gear on and dove into the ocean.

“Those are my twins. They could swim before they could walk, and they swim like dolphins,” Tania said proudly. “We vacation in Maui every year because it’s their favorite place in the world.”

“They’re lucky kids,” Mia said.

Tania rubbed suntan lotion on her bare arms and held the bottle out to Mia.

She took it gratefully, having forgotten to grab her suntan lotion before leaving Eric’s condo in her rush to get away from him.

“My husband, may he rest in peace, wanted them to be safe since we live near a lake in Minnesota. He began teaching them how to swim when they were just a few months old,” Tania said, a wistful look on her face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry about your husband,” said Mia sympathetically.

“It’s all right. My husband passed away seven years ago in a car accident. The kids have only known me since they can’t remember their father. He was a good man though and I still miss him.”

Mia looked at Tania’s children snorkeling out at sea, and wondered how her own child would feel growing up without a father. Her heart ached at the thought that Eric wouldn’t be part of raising their child, but she didn’t want him wanting her just because she was having his baby.

“It must be difficult raising children on your own,” said Mia.

“We have our good days and our bad, but mostly it’s good,” Tania said, smiling. “Single parents do have a lot more on their shoulders than those who have partners, but I’ve managed. My mother and sister help me out a lot.”

Mia thought of her mother and Mandy, and knew that they would help her raise her child with enthusiasm. She would never be alone in raising her son or daughter, and that thought comforted her greatly.

“Have you thought of names yet?”

“I’m not sure if it’s a boy or a girl,” answered Mia.

“Do you want to know?”

“Not really. I just want her or him to be healthy.”

Mia felt her tension ebb as she and Tania continued their conversation. She stayed on the beach until the sun began to set. Tania’s children ran up to them, hungry, tired and ready to return to their hotel.

“Hope to see you again, Mia,” said Tania. “But if I don’t, good luck with your little one.”

“Goodbye, Tania. Thanks for chatting with me.”

Mia felt a little sad to see Tania and her children leave. They had been a welcome respite from her turbulent thoughts, but it was probably time to get some dinner anyway. Her stomach rumbled as she walked back up the grassy knoll to get the bike. Her heart did a somersault when she found Eric standing with his arms crossed, staring at her as she approached.

“Where have you been?” he asked with an irate scowl.

Mia didn’t appreciate his irritation. He didn’t love her, so he had no right to scold her about suddenly disappearing today.

“Right here,” she answered stiffly, grabbing the bike.

Eric placed his hand on the handle bars, preventing her from leaving.

She glared up at him, in no mood to be scolded.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here? I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said roughly.

Mia shrugged nonchalantly, reining in her annoyance. “I wanted some fresh air.”

“Mia, you were gone for hours. I was getting worried.”

“No need to worry. I can take care of myself,” she said pertly.

Mia felt that it was time she exerted her independence from Eric. For the last five weeks, she had been so wrapped up in him and their relationship that she had forgotten what it was like to be single and to have no one second guess her decisions.

“I know that,” Eric said, clenching his jaw, “but you should have at least left me a note and told me where you were going.”

“Sorry,” she said with a shrug. She glanced up at him from underneath her lashes and saw his aggravation. She couldn’t care less because she felt that she had more right than him to be upset.

“Where are you going now?” he asked, frowning.

“I’m going to grab some dinner, if you don’t mind,” she said sarcastically. She hopped onto the bike and hoped that he wouldn’t insist on accompanying her. Right now his very presence grated on her nerves.

“I’ll join you,” he said, placing his hands on her handle bar to prevent her from riding away. “We need to talk.”

“I think we’ve talked enough, don’t you?” Mia asked before she suddenly jerked away from him and biked away at a furious pace.

She looked over her shoulder and found Eric staring after her, a stunned look on his face. She knew she was behaving like a petulant child, but she couldn’t help it. The bottom line was that she was pregnant with the man’s baby, and he didn’t love her. She thought she deserved some time alone to mull things over before she made her next big decision.

CHAPTER NINE

Mia had eaten a mixed plate meal at a nearby fast food restaurant before biking to the hotel. While she had eaten her dinner, she realized that there was one thing she needed to do right away and it was to move out of Eric’s condo as soon as possible.

“You want a room?” asked Tish with a puzzled frown. “But, Mia, we’re fully booked at the moment.”

“Please, Tish,” said Mia, pleadingly. “It’s just for a week. I’ll be checking out on Friday.”

Tish looked at her dubiously. “Does Eric approve of this?” she asked uncertainly.

Mia hesitated and then shook her head. “Not exactly, but I was hoping you had one room in the hotel that I could stay in. I did have a room reservation when I checked in five weeks ago. Is that room still available?”

“I’ll check, Mia.”

Mia waited anxiously as she watched Tish type on her keyboard.

“Unfortunately, the room that was reserved for you is currently occupied,” said Tish. “But there is another room that has been closed off to guests because there was some plumbing being done in the bathroom. You can have it if you want, but housekeeping won’t be cleaning it daily because it’ll be under the radar.”

“I’ll take it,” Mia said promptly. She was determined not to spend one more night in Eric’s condo.

Tish gave her a concerned look. “Are you all right, Mia?”

“I’m fine,” Mia lied.

Tish paused before she handed Mia a card. “Here’s your keycard. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks, Tish,” Mia said gratefully before she turned away.