A Dark Road (21 page)

Chapter 45

Hadley

After-Christmas s
hopping with Mom wasn’t nearly half as bad as I thought it would be, though Mom continuously misunderstood my giddy happiness for shopping excitement. Once we were home I quickly dumped my new sneakers and coat in my closet and was quick to change into something more enduring for James’ house. We were going to work on internship applications, so I grabbed my laptop and stuffed it in my backpack. I was even whistling as I put my boots on. But then I heard loud voices from downstairs and my heart sank.

“Hadley!” Mom’s voice was as shrill as a banshee “Get down here!”

It hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks. Simon had caught me in my lie, but I didn’t think he would do anything like this.

When I got to the kitchen
, Dad was pouring Mom a glass of wine and Simon was stooling in the corner.

“You should have told us earlier
,” Mom said.

Dad filled his glass to the brim
. “Much earlier.”

When they spotted me
, the tone of their conversation changed. “Hadley, that boy, is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“She knows damn well it is.” Simon pointed at me like an angry little man.

“Quiet
, Simon,” Dad said. “Hadley, if this kid is involved with drugs—”

“It’s not what you think
.” My argument was weak and pathetic and I knew it. But what else could I do?

“Explain
,” Mom demanded. “Right now.”

So I told them. I told them about James and his
dad and the meth and Dog. I spilled my guts like a cheap piñata, and when it was over, I didn’t even feel any better.

Mom went straight to her phone
. “I’m calling the police.”

“You can’t
.”

“I don’t
believe this; he seemed like a nice kid.”

“He is a nice kid
, Dad. James is the best, he’s just gotten a little mixed up. What else was he supposed to do? Frank is a hard-core addict, it was either help him or—or what? Live on the streets? Foster care?”

“That’s what they all say
.”

“Shut up
, Simon!”

Dad rolled his eyes
, but at least headed Mom off her Bluetooth.

“Hold on
, Helen. Can’t we handle this situation…internally?”

Mom shook her head,
apparently Simon agreed. But neither of my parents spoke, and it prompted a slight hope inside of me that maybe they would do just that.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys
—I know I should have, but by the time I knew anything for certain I had already given my word I wouldn’t say anything.” I feigned a smile. “You guys
are
big on the whole ‘keeping your word thing’.”

“Nice try
.” Dad sighed and handed the remainder of his glass to Mom. She had already finished hers. “You know there’s no excuse for this.”

“I-I
think love is a pretty good excuse.” And then I
really
tell them everything. Everything but the nights in the basement. As I explain my idea of James staying with us until college, Simon starts huffing and puffing like a dragon who’s run out of fire.

“You’ve got to be kidding
.” Simon looked back and forth between Mom and Dad, I think expecting an instant answer, but Mom must have taken to my desperate pleading because she just looked tired and sighed.

“Will you guys go upstairs for a few minutes? Dad and I need to talk.”

The panic flowed freely through me then. What had I done to us? What had I done to James? I should have called him to warn him, but with his lack of a phone there was no chance of that happening. Briefly, I considered sneaking back downstairs and out of the house, but Mom and Dad would probably be listening for me.

I felt the tears come then, frantic, disturbing tears that came with silent sobs and visual
izations of all of the things that could happen after my parents called the police. I cringed when I heard them coming upstairs.

There
are instances in your life when you look at your caregivers and try to imagine yourself in their shoes. And I don’t mean that figurative ‘Gee, what was it like to live in a world without the Internet’ imagery. There are real, specific instances where you put yourself in their place. And I could see myself as a woman in my early forties with two kids each tied to a chemist that was making illegal narcotics. What would I do if I was Mom and my twins were socializing with a drug dealer/supplier?

Well
, that wasn’t much of a question at all. So imagine my shock and amazement when Mom and Dad came in my room and said this:

“Hadley
.” Mom sighed and began straightening the books on my shelf. “We know this move has been difficult on you, and we admire and appreciate your cooperation with the transition.” I hated it when she did this. I wanted to shout, ‘I’m not a customer, Mom, I’m your kid!’ but of course I didn’t say that. Of course I kept my mouth shut.

“Sometimes we make poor decisions and associate ourselves with
people who may not necessarily—”

Dad coughed to regain her attention, putting her back on course
. “Obviously you care very much for this boy, and we want you to know that if he’s important to you, then he’s important to us.”

What does that mean? They
’ll take turns giving me a lift to visit him in prison?

“That being said, we want you to understand that what we do now we are going to do because we love you and your brother very much. We don’t want you guys to make one or two stupid mistakes
that ruin your lives with drugs—”

“I know
, Mom. I know.”

Dad flexed his thumbs from his pockets and sighed
. “We do remember what it’s like to be young, you know? But the laws are stricter now and it’s true it only takes one mistake to screw up everything.”

“I love you guys but you
’re killing me here. Will you please get to the point?”

“
Mistakes can happen…”

They were pulling my teeth. “
And…?”

“Basically we want to hear it from the horse’s mouth
.” Mom hated it when Dad finished her sentences, but I tried to imagine that when they were dating it was an endearing trait.

“That’s right
,” Mom said. “Before we do anything else, we’ll have a talk with McKay. After that, we’ll figure out what to do.”

“If you call the police he’ll go to jail.”

“Well, that is a possibility. But keep in mind you may not know him as well as you think you do, Hadley…”

Dad intervened, once again saving the day
. “Like we said, we’ll have a talk with him and his father and decide from there.”

“What about his mother?” Mom asked suddenly.

“She left years ago.” I was rushing, desperate to get them to see my side. At that point I might have said or done anything. “He doesn’t have any other family and I’m the only friend he’s had since grade school. Think about it, guys. What would you have done in his shoes?”

Mom and Dad just kind of stared at each other.

Mom wouldn’t let me go to James’ house alone. I hated the mere idea of our evening rendezvous being over, but I was willing to ignore that feeling for now in lieu of James.

I had never noticed before how much faster it was to get to his house by car. Dad stayed silent as we
drove there and parked a few yards from his rundown house. Since there was no driveway, I got the feeling Dad felt awkward about where to put the car, but he quickly resolved to park it near the scrap heaps. When he caught a solid look at the house from under his headlights he winced.

“McKay lives here? This place doesn’t look fit for a dog.”

Then I was reminded about Dog. I didn’t see the rig anywhere, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. For all I knew, James’ dad was watching us from one of the windows.

When I
went to knock on the door, I could smell it, the stench of chemicals and rotten eggs. Before my knuckles touched the door, James was answering it, the biohazard mask slipped just below his adorable neck.

“Hi
.” He looked back and forth between us both before looking back inside the house.

“I broke my promise
.”

He smiled just enough for me to see the dimple and
immediately went back to frowning.

***

Back in the living room of our house, James and I sat on the small loveseat while Mom, Dad, and Simon sat on the sofa. Simon sat on the arm, higher than the rest of us, glaring down at us as if we were the scum of the earth itself.

“So
, what’s that story?” I had to hand this one to Dad; he was handling this like a pro. Father of the year nominations were definitely coming his way.

James told them
, through his stutter and all. He didn’t try to dig for pity like somebody else might have or focus on the negative; instead he held himself accountable for it. With each new piece of information, my parents looked at each other, occasionally sighing or wringing their hands together.

What he was used to and the world my parents lived in were drastically different from one another, and you could see almost instantly that they didn’t connect.

“Okay, James, are you hungry?”

“Are you offering this delinquent food
?”

“
Be quiet, Simon, or go upstairs. We already talked about this.”

I took James by the hand before he could say anything else and led him into the kitchen. “We’
ll be eating if you need us.”

Before either one of us could say anything
, I was in the pantry digging for Pop-Tarts. If anything was required in this situation, it was the warm reassurance of a Pop-Tart.

“Hadley?”

I had already begun ignoring him; singing in my head to keep out what I assumed would be the peals of police sirens any second.

“What happens now?

I stuck the Pop-Tarts in the toaster and waited for the magic to happen. “Well, they’ll deliberate and then they’ll take a vote and majority wins.”

From the corner of my eye
, he smiled. “Majority?”

“Whatever my
mom says.”

He nodded. It was sinking in now for the both of us, why he was here and what our relationship had come to. James would probably go to jail for a long time. And though he might have been expecting it
at some point or another, I hadn’t expected to be the source of his undoing.

“I’m sorry
, James.”

“
It’s okay, Hadley.”

“No
, it isn’t.”

“Hadley, listen for a second. Some things are prob
ably going to—”

I put my hand
s over my ears like a small child and sang out loud to myself. I didn’t want to think about the next steps, about school without James, about James without freedom.

“If I do go away
, Hadley—”

“Lalala
, I’m not listening.”

He pulled my hands away from my ears and smiled. He kissed one of my palms and gave it back to me. “You have to take care of Dog
, okay? I don’t trust anyone else.”

I nodded
. This felt more like a good-bye than anything else. “I will.”

Smoke erupted from the toaster-oven and I swore, but James laughed. I wondered briefly if he would let me bring him
Pop-Tarts in prison.

He humored me by biting into one anyway. “
It’s not so bad.”

“Yes
, it is,” I argued. “It’s all very bad.”

***

When Mom and Dad called us in a few minutes later, my heart was ready to melt.

“We
talked about it and we agree that all intentions aside, the authorities need to be contacted.”

I flinched.

“But,” Dad started, “I’d like to contact your father myself and call an attorney for you.”

“Dad—”

He held his hand up to stop me.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say thank you, young man and be grateful. A friend from college works with children’s advocacy. I’ll give him a call and ask him what he thinks.”

Mom looked at me and
shook her head. “It’s the most reasonable thing we can come up with. We’ll deal with the other stuff later.”