A Dream to Call My Own (17 page)

Lacy wiped perspiration from her brow with her sleeve. The day had grown quite warm, and Lacy wearied of sorting through the dusty crates. She abandoned the dishes and got to her feet. Walking to the door of the shed, she looked out on the scene behind Rafe’s. Tents were lined up, one after the other, to accommodate the newcomers. Children were racing among the narrow walkways, entertaining one another as best they could with made-up games. Weary-looking mothers labored to make a home for their families out of nothing more than the scraps of their former lives.

What a contrast to the peace and tranquillity Lacy had experienced on the Shepard ranch or even in her own home! Of course, living to serve a daily arrival of strangers had never given the Gallatins much peace, but at least she’d known a home and a sense of belonging.

“You look deep in thought,” Beth said as she approached with Max tucked protectively in her arms.

Lacy nodded. “I’m glad I’m not them.”

Beth glanced in the direction of Lacy’s nod. “Yes, me too. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to think you had homes waiting for you and then realize you were wrong.”

“Hopefully some will move north with you and resettle. I can’t imagine them being happy here.”

Beth shrugged. “You can never tell what might make a person happy. Each one has to find that for themselves. Satisfaction and happiness come in many ways.”

Lacy looked at her sister. “Could you be content staying here?”

“No, I don’t think so. With the way things have changed, I’m ready to leave. At least we have a way out.” She shifted the sleeping baby and gave Lacy a sad smile. “Remember how we were going to defeat the evils of prostitution? Somehow I got distracted.” She smiled and looked down at Max.

“I wish we could have done more. At least we were able to help Ellie get away.”

“I’m glad for that, but my heart still hurts for those who remain and the ones who continue to come. Nick says it’s impossible to right all the wrongs in the world, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing we could.”

“But is turning away from the awful truth of what’s here the way we should handle it?” Lacy shook her head. “For so long I’ve wanted justice for Pa. I’ve longed for evil to be defeated and good to overcome, but as we leave, I can’t help but feel that I’ve given up the fight, that I’ve failed once again to make things better.”

Beth gave Lacy a thoughtful look. “I suppose that could be one way of looking at it, but I just don’t see it that way. Nick says sometimes you have to retreat to fight another day. Maybe leaving here will open new doors, new ways to resolve some of these matters. Maybe by being on the outside looking in, we will have the ability to see things clearer. Could be that once we’re established in our new town, we’ll be so prosperous that we’ll be able to work to help these girls get away from Rafe. Right now, though, I think it’s right to leave.”

“I don’t know if I believe that or not.”

Her sister smiled. “Well, just remember there were times when even Jesus urged his disciples to walk away. There were times when Jesus did so himself or let others walk away from Him. You can’t force right upon the world.”

“And if we never find Pa’s killer?”

Max stirred and Beth put him to her shoulder and patted his back gently. “It really won’t change things for me, Lacy. I’m sorry if that offends you. Pa will still be dead—I can’t change that, and neither can you. I hope that if someone did maliciously kill him, they will be caught and punished. But at the same time, if it was the foolish accident that it appears to be, then I would just as soon see it all put to rest. Hopefully that person would have learned his lesson. But since I can’t know the truth of Pa’s death, I simply pray that God’s will be done—in the life of the guilty party . . . but especially in my own.”

“And that gives you peace?” Lacy asked, truly wanting to know.

“It does,” Beth said. “Because I know that God loves us with an everlasting love, and that no matter what happens, His love will remain.”

“And if you came face-to-face with Pa in heaven one day, you would have a clear conscience that you’d done all you could to see his soul rest in peace?”

“Only God gives a body peace in eternal rest, Lacy. What we do or don’t do here on earth has nothing to do with it. Once we leave this place, I can’t imagine we even care anymore about the wrongs and injustices done us. I can’t help but believe when we come face-to-face with Jesus, nothing on Earth will ever matter again.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“We’ve got problems,” Rafe told his friend.

Jefferson Mulholland looked up from where he’d been playing blackjack against himself. “What kinds of problems?”

It was early afternoon and the evening crowds hadn’t yet started gathering. There were only two old men sitting at a far table; otherwise the bar was deserted. Rafe could see that the men were occupied with some map, so he took the chance that it was safe enough to speak.

Sitting opposite Jefferson, Rafe glanced around one more time. “Big John is talking too much. Apparently he’s decided to make some kind of deal with the law in Bozeman.”

Mulholland’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of deal?”

“Well, as I hear it, he intends to tell everything he knows. May have already done so.”

“But you don’t know for sure?”

Rafe shook his head. “No. What I’ve been told is that he shared information with Dave Shepard on their ride to Bozeman. Now he’s keeping quiet until the judge decides what kind of deal they can offer him. He’s wanted for murder in Bozeman—something I didn’t know. I guess he figured he’d use what he knew about our operation to save his neck from the noose.”

Jefferson quietly considered this as he gathered the cards and began to shuffle them. “And Deputy Shepard is the only other one who knows what Big John has said?”

“Well, he’s the only one who has heard it firsthand. Big John was too smart to be runnin’ his mouth off for everyone until he had some kind of guarantee.”

“Good. Then all we need to do is eliminate Big John and Deputy Shepard.”

Rafe met Jefferson’s hard expression. “Are you serious? How are we supposed to do that? Big John is in jail, and Shepard is no fool.”

Jefferson shrugged and smiled. “Accidents happen. Happen all the time. Let me think on this a bit. I’m sure we can see to the matter in short order.”

Beth came around the corner of the house just in time to see Justin pull a stick from the trash burning in the bin. The fire had been left unattended for some reason.

Without warning Justin touched the flaming branch to the ground and watched as the dry grass caught fire. Beth acted without thinking and grabbed Major’s pan of water and doused the grass before the fire spread.

“Justin, what in the world is wrong with you? You know you’re not to play with fire. You know the dangers of what could happen.”

The boy looked up at her, clearly surprised to have been caught red-handed. Beth realized she hadn’t managed to put out all of the flames. She began stamping at the ground with her boots, all the while declaring her displeasure with Justin.

“You could get someone killed. I honestly don’t know why you’ve been acting up so much lately, but this is going to stop.”

“I hate you! I wish you weren’t my ma.”

Beth whirled around to look Justin in the eye. “You go to your room and do it right now. I’m going to find your father and—”

“Watch out!” Lacy’s voice cried out from across the yard. “Your skirt!”

Looking down, Beth was mesmerized by the sight of her dress catching fire. She froze in place, shocked and uncertain what she should do. Lacy raced for the clothesline and pulled down a blanket. Hurrying to Beth, she beat out the fire, then turned her attention to the grass. Once the flames were extinguished, she returned to her sister.

“What happened?” she asked, inspecting Beth’s blackened clothes.

Beth’s mind was still muddled by the incident. “It was . . . it was Justin.” She looked around to find the boy, but he was gone. Shaking her head as if to clear it, Beth looked at Lacy. “This has gotten completely out of hand. That boy doesn’t listen to anyone anymore, but especially not to me. He’s so jealous of Max that he’s turning to all manner of trouble to get attention.”

Lacy straightened. “Where is he now?”

“I sent him to his room.” Beth looked up at the house. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Nick doesn’t seem to think it’s all that important. When I told him about Justin taking some of Max’s things, he shrugged it off and said he probably just wanted to better understand what a baby was all about. Then when Justin pinched Max, Nick was quick to believe it was an accident and that his son just got too rough.”

“Well, this surely wasn’t done on purpose,” Lacy said, looking back at the charred ground. “He knew better than to play in the fire, but I can’t believe he meant to set the ground ablaze.”

“It doesn’t matter. He did it nevertheless and has to be punished.”

Nick crossed the yard. He seemed surprised to find Beth and Lacy standing by the fire talking. “Seems like too hot a day to be warming yourself at the fire, ladies.”

Beth met his grinning expression with anger. “Your son tried to set the place on fire.”

Frowning, Nick looked at the ground. “Are you sure it was him? Maybe something blew out of the trash and sparked the grass.”

“I was right here. I saw the whole thing. Not only that, but my skirt caught on fire. I could have been killed and the entire town burned down. Justin’s disobedience has gone too far, and you must deal with him.” Beth knew she was screeching, but she couldn’t help herself. Her anger was getting the better of her. “And don’t give me some excuse about how he’s just a little boy and didn’t know better.”

“I wasn’t going to.” It was obvious he was getting mad.

Lacy stepped in at this point. “Look, everything is all right. It was frightening and could have been much worse. I think Justin probably realized how bad the situation was, but he does need to hear from you on it.”

Nick fairly growled. “I don’t need you to tell me how to raise my son. You haven’t got any children of your own, so stay out of it.”

Beth was stunned by her husband’s harsh words. “You apologize to my sister. She didn’t say anything out of line. A person doesn’t need to have a child to know when one is out of line.”

Nick started for the house. “Seems to me you’ve been looking for wrongdoings from Justin ever since Max was born. It’s no wonder he feels left out and jealous.”

Following him to the door, Beth could barely control her anger. “I have done no such thing. I love that boy as much as you do.”

Nick stopped abruptly and turned. “You sure have a strange way of showing it. You’re always yelling at him, and you never give him the time you used to. Even the other day when you promised to take him fishing, you changed your mind.”

“Max was colicky. I couldn’t leave him. It had nothing to do with how I feel about Justin.”

“Well, I don’t think Justin understands that.”

Nick drew a deep breath, and Beth could see that he was forcing himself to calm down, but she didn’t care. He’d already hurt her feelings by taking the boy’s side over hers. He didn’t even seem to realize that she could have been killed had the fire gotten out of control.

“Beth . . .”

She turned away. “Leave me alone. You believe the worst of me.”

Nick didn’t know quite what to do. He realized too late he’d taken up offense for Justin, when he should have comforted Beth. Still, the two were at odds so much these days, and Nick felt caught in between. He loved them both—loved Max, too. Why couldn’t they simply be a family and love each other?

He went in search of his son, hoping—praying—that he could help the boy to understand the situation. Justin was old enough to realize the danger of fire. They’d spoken about it many times when Nick was teaching Justin how to tend the fire in the house. They’d talked about it when burning trash and while Nick had been showing Justin how to work the forge.

“Justin?” Nick called as he entered the boy’s room.

He wasn’t there. Nick turned on his heel and headed back downstairs to see if the boy was in the front room or kitchen. He crossed Gwen’s path as she carried a stack of tablecloths to the dining room.

“Have you seen Justin?”

“No. I was watching Max for Beth, but she just came and took him. I haven’t seen Justin at all.” She put the neatly folded cloths on the table and turned to Nick. “Beth seemed really upset. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Nick shook his head. “I doubt it. Seems Justin was playing in the fire, and one thing led to another and Beth got burned.”

“Oh no! She didn’t say anything. Is she hurt? Are the burns bad?”

Nick felt the fool for not even knowing the answer to her questions. “I honestly don’t know. I know her skirt caught fire and Lacy put it out, but I don’t know if she was hurt. She was upset about Justin, and I kind of lost my temper.”

Gwen gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’ll go tend to Beth, and you take care of finding Justin. I’m sure she’s all right.”

“But I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I’ve been on edge ever since Max was born and Justin started acting so rebellious. I don’t know what to do about it, but it seems every time Beth brings something to my attention, I feel defensive. Almost like I’ve done something wrong myself.”

“That doesn’t sound so strange,” Gwen told him. “He’s your son and you feel responsible. Time will work these things out. Justin is clearly jealous of his little brother, but with help, maybe he can come to see how important he is in the family—how you’ll need him to teach Max important things.”

“Could be,” Nick said.

Gwen patted his arm. “Don’t fret about it, Nick. It’ll all work out.”

But Nick wasn’t convinced. Beth had been angry and hurt, and he’d handled the situation so poorly. Heading outside, he wondered how in the world he could mend the fences and please both his wife and son. He certainly didn’t want either one of them mad at him.

By suppertime Nick had exhausted all of Justin’s known hiding spots. He was starting to get mad—angry that his son would so blatantly disobey and refuse to face up to what he’d done. Mealtime was oddly silent, and even Gwen and Hank seemed reluctant to speak on the matter. The sisters tried to make small talk at one point, speaking neutrally about the stage that would come in the next day, but even that conversation fell by the wayside after a few awkward exchanges.

When they’d finished supper and Justin had still not made an appearance, Nick began to worry. The long summer days left plenty of light in the sky, but he feared something might have happened to the child. Maybe Justin had run off to avoid the punishment that might await him. Perhaps in being consumed by those thoughts, he hadn’t paid attention to his surroundings and gotten hurt.

Nick spied Beth alone at the front door. She was peering outside, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she, too, was worried. He approached her hesitantly.

“I’m sorry.”

She turned and nodded. “I know. I am, too. I’m worried about him. Where do you suppose he’s gone?”

“I don’t know, but I guess we’d better get out there looking for him.”

“I’ll help,” Lacy said, coming up from behind them. “I talked to Dave and he’s already saddling up.”

Nick nodded and turned to Beth. “Are you all right? I realized after losing my temper that I hadn’t even concerned myself with whether or not you got burned.”

“I have one place that’s a little tender, but it’s not bad.” She looked at him with great emotion. “Nick, I love Justin. You have to know that.”

He put his arm around her. “I know. I’ve let things go for too long. I kept hoping he’d come to see that we’re a family and that there was enough love for everyone. When I find him, I’ll make sure he knows that—but I’ll also make certain he understands that enough is enough and he’s got to straighten up.”

She hugged him close. Nick breathed in the scent of her hair and held her tighter. Everything would soon be put to order. At least he hoped so.

“Cubby, you seen anything of Justin Lassiter?” Dave Shepard questioned, leading his saddled horse.

The last thing Cubby wanted to do was deal with his rival for Lacy’s love. “I haven’t seen him.”

“Well, he’s run off. Been gone several hours and we’re going to start a search. You want to help?”

Not if it involved having to be in the company of the two lovebirds. Cubby still couldn’t reconcile the fact that Lacy would marry this man. “Can’t. Pa has a whole lot of work already lined up for me. He’s expecting big business tonight.” At least that much was true.

“All right, then.” Dave mounted his horse. “I’m heading out southwest toward the Dykstra place if you change your mind. I think Lacy’s going to take the road to the Vanhouten house and see if he managed to get that far. Not sure where the others are looking, but I know we need to check the river area.”

Cubby nodded and hoisted a case of whiskey to his shoulder. He wanted to say more but battled between a snide remark and his genuine concern for the little boy. Love sure had a way of complicating a fella’s relationships with other folks.

He made his way into the saloon and settled the crate on the floor behind the bar. Wyman and several of their rougher customers were holed up in the corner talking in hushed whispers. Jefferson Mulholland was surrounded at one of the card tables by men who wanted nothing more than to win his fortune away.

“You sure took your time gettin’ that in here,” his father said, joining him at the bar.

Cubby shrugged. “Dave Shepard stopped me to tell me Justin Lassiter’s gone missing, and everyone is on the lookout for him. Been gone for several hours now.”

“That’s hardly your problem or mine,” Rafe said, spitting into a nearby spittoon.

“What’s that you said about Dave Shepard?” Wyman asked, pulling away from the other men.

Wyman’s sudden interest put Cubby on edge. “I said he was looking for Justin Lassiter. The boy’s missing.”

“Did he say which way he was heading?”

“Toward the Dykstra place. Why?”

“No reason, ’cept if a fella decided to help with the search, he wouldn’t want to head the same direction.”

The excuse was reasonable, but Cubby got the strange feeling that Wyman’s interest had nothing at all to do with Justin and the search. When Wyman motioned Rafe to follow him into the back room, Cubby was convinced. He pretended not to care what his father was up to, but once the two had disappeared and the other men seemed preoccupied with other things, Cubby slipped over to the door to listen to what was being said.