A Family Man (16 page)

"You won't hurt her. Oh you might get mad. But you've got more self control than you give yourself credit for. Did you ever hit Maria?"

"Of course not. I loved her."

"Even though she must've pushed you to the limit?"

"Yeah, she did. But Amy is her mother's daughter. She knows just which buttons to push."

"Yes, she does. And you just have to rise above it."

"That's easier said than done."

"Oh, I never said it was easy." She reached up and kissed him. "You're doing just fine, Joe. Do you want me to talk to her?"

He returned the kiss. "Nah, this is me." Taking a deep breath, he walked towards Amy's room. "I wish I had your faith, Beth."

Amy looked up as Joe walked into her room. "I didn't mean it, Joe."

"It don't make it any less true, sugar." He sat on the bed. "I ain’t your dad, as much as I wish I was."

"I shouldn't have said it, though. I was just pissed, and it just came out."

"No you shouldn't. But it's done now, so let's move on."

"Aren't you pissed at me?"

"Yeah, I'm pissed. Hurt too. But it's early an' you got school. And to be honest, sugar, I just don't have the energy to keep yelling." He sighed. "D'ya know what? Just do what the fuck you want. Go to school, don't go to school. You wanna throw your life away, go right ahead. Cuz right now I can't bring myself to care."

He stood and made to leave, Amy grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry Joe. I'll go to school. Just please don't be mad at me."

He sighed again, and pulled her into his arms. "One of these days, you are gonna push me too far."

She pulled away and, giving him a shaky smile, picked up her school bag. "Will you give me a ride?"

"Sure."

Amy loved riding with Joe, and always felt a mile high when he dropped her off at the school gate. She had told her school friends he was her dad. She didn't think he'd mind and it was easier than trying to explain the dynamics of their relationship. And she wished he was. So very much. The kudos of being the daughter of a Freak didn't do her street cred any harm either. The Freaks were cool, and it certainly beat being the white trash, fatherless daughter of a junkie whore that she'd been back home.

As soon as he'd dropped Amy off he headed for Seattle Auto, where he'd been working pretty much full time since Amy had moved in. Although he wasn't a bad mechanic, this wasn't the way he would choose to earn. Normally he'd do a couple of days a week to keep the taxman off his back, but mostly his money came from protection runs and the more 'specialist' jobs he was known for. Now though, long runs were out of the question; there was no way he could leave Amy for days on end. He missed them, though, both riding alone, or with his brothers. The open road was what he lived for, and giving it up was proving to be a wrench.

Finding herself at a loose end, Beth decided to hit the supermarket and get some decent food in. It was clear that Joe was no cook, and they were living, pretty much, on frozen dinners and take-outs. As his apartment was immaculate and needed no cleaning, she planned on spending her spare time cooking them some more wholesome meals and freezing them. Maybe she'd even bake a cake or two. Her time spent with Sophia as a kid had been well spent, and she was a half decent cook when she had the time.

It would have been nice to be able to spend some time with Joe, but she understood that he was having to earn straight now and money was tight. She shook her head, Amy had no idea how much he was sacrificing for her. Maybe someone should let her know.

~ oOo ~

No matter how hard he tried, Joe couldn't concentrate. Cursing as his hand slipped and he tore the skin off his thumb on a jagged piece of metal, he threw the wrench across the shop and went outside for a smoke and to try to quell the noise in his head. Amy wanted to meet her father. Shit, he'd known she had been asking questions and that it was natural that she want to know him. But, fuck, it stung. She was his kid. Barney was just a sperm donor. He had no right to have any sort of relationship with her. Maybe he should just kill him, fucker deserved to die for betraying him in the first place. No, it would be tricky explaining that to Amy, and when all was said and done, Barney was his brother and his best friend. He could do it if he had to, but killing someone you loved tended to come back and bite you.

Then there was Beth. Shit. What a fucking mess. Last night was the best sex he'd ever had in his entire life. He had no idea what it was that set it apart. But no one, not even Maria, had fit so well. It was like they were made for each other. That was the only way he could explain it. It sounded corny, but there really was no other explanation. He closed his eyes and searched for the word he was looking for. It was like…synchronicity.

Despite this, he knew them being together would stir up a shit storm. There was no way Maria would accept them being together without a fight. And when Maria fought, she fought dirty. Then of course there was the logistics to sort out. Were they going to have a long distance relationship? Could they be just fuck buddies? Would she be prepared give up her life in Oregon and move to Seattle?

Shit. He was thinking too much. He pushed himself away from the wall and, walking back into the shop, grabbed his hoodie.

"Hey Dan." He shouted over to his boss, who was also trying to grab a sneaky smoke. "I'm gonna take a ride. Got shit I need to sort out."

Dan nodded, assuming it was club shit he was talking about. The shop wasn't owned by the club but it did have strong ties, and it wasn't unusual for Tiny to take off with no notice. He didn't particularly like it, but he knew better than to complain. Being a friend of the club had its advantages, and nobody ever pissed off the big enforcer.

As he headed out of town, Joe realized just how much he had needed this. The route he'd chosen was a little-used stretch of highway that snaked through the foothills towards Mount Rainier. As he twisted the throttle and pushed his bike harder and harder, he could feel all the stress leaving his body. All he was aware of was the wind whipping past his face, the roar of the engine and the feel of his Harley as it hugged the road.

The further Seattle fell behind him, the calmer he became. So what if Amy wanted to meet her dad? It wouldn't alter what she had with him. And why was he getting all bent out of shape over Beth? He'd just had the most mind-blowing sex ever, and he was pretty sure it was as good for her as it was for him. Not to mention the fact that she was a really great girl. They'd figure it out.

By the time his bladder told him it was time to stop, he was ready to take on the world again, and had decided that if he hurried, he could get home in time for a quickie with Beth before Amy got back.

Beth was rolling pastry as Joe walked in and, placing his hands on her hips, kissed her neck. She smiled. "Hey. You're home early."

"Wanted to have some quality time with my favorite girl." He turned her around and pushed her up against the wall, growling as her body pressed against his. "Shit, Beth. I need you so bad."

Unlike the night before, which had been a voyage of discovery, slow and deliberate, this was lust, pure and simple. Fast, furious and completely lacking in finesse. But as he slammed into her up against the wall, causing her to cry out in both and pleasure and pain, Joe, again, felt completely in sync with her. Unlike the skanks that hung around the clubhouses who had a 'one size fits all' approach to sex, when Beth cried out or moaned, it was through genuine pleasure, not because she thought it was what he wanted to hear. Maria was probably more skilled, but she was also calculating, using those skills to get what she wanted. Beth, however, was completely without guile; she gave without wanting anything in return, and took from him hungrily. She was completely open in her desire for him, and that was probably the biggest turn on of all.

As they climaxed, collapsing to the floor, gasping for breath, he knew he wasn't going to give her up. Yes, they had shit to work out, and they would probably hit obstacles along the way. He reckoned, though, it would be worth it. It had taken him a lifetime, but Joe was learning what real love was supposed to feel like.

TWENTY-FIVE

Joe didn't think he'd ever seen Amy look so nervous. He reached out and grabbed her arm as she stood to check her reflection for what seemed the hundredth time. "Relax, sugar, everything's going to be fine."

"But what if he hates me?" She chewed nervously on her thumbnail. "He might want his kid to be smart and pretty."

"You are smart and pretty." He glanced at the clock. "C'mon, sugar, it's time to go." Taking her hand, he led her outside to his bike. They were meeting Barney at a local diner. Joe thought it would be better for everyone if they met for the first time on neutral territory. And he would be less likely to kill him in a public place.

Beth looked up from her magazine and gave Amy an encouraging smile as she headed for the door. She really wasn't sure whether this was a good idea, but for now, would keep her opinions to herself.

It had come as a shock to discover that Joe had known for some considerable time who Amy's father was, and an even bigger surprise when he agreed to him meeting his daughter. She knew that, as far as Joe was concerned, she was his kid, and she didn't imagine he was keen on the idea of sharing her. There was something else. Something he had refused to discuss. Maria. She may have been flaky and unreliable, but she was Amy's mom, and she should have at least been informed of his decision. Joe, however, felt differently. Maria had been more than happy to hand over the responsibility of taking care of her daughter to him, so as far as he was concerned she got no say in what he decided to do. Amy was nearly fifteen years old and wanted to know her biological father, so that's what she was going to do. And if there was any fallout as a result, he would deal with it.

~ oOo ~

Barney sat in the diner, chewing nervously on a thumbnail. Why the fuck had he agreed to this? Although, really, what choice did he have? It wasn't that he didn't care. But Maria had made it clear that it was best for everyone if he just said nothing and had no part in the kid's life, and he was happy to agree. It wasn't just that he was worried about what Joe would do if he found out. He hadn’t wanted a kid, particularly with a bitch like Maria.

If he lived to a hundred, he would never understand the hold she had over his brother. Sure, she was a looker, and yes, she knew how to turn on the charm. But there was something else. She was calculating, manipulative. Even in the depths of her addiction, she had played Joe, over and over again. And he'd just let her. Barney understood the mindset of an addict; he'd been one himself. He knew how selfish they were, how nothing was more important that the next fix. But Maria. Shit, she'd taken it to a whole different level. If he'd have stuck around, she'd have destroyed him.

The sound of a Harley brought him back to the present, and he glanced out of the window as Joe and Amy dismounted. He sucked in a breath as she removed her helmet and shook out her long blonde hair. If there had been any lingering doubts about whether the kid was his, they were immediately dispelled. She looked just like him.

As Amy headed for the diner, she slipped her hand into Joe's, something she hadn't done for years. She may have been nearly fifteen and spent most of her time insisting she wasn't a kid and didn't need to be treated like one. But, right now, the reassuring squeeze of his big hand on her small one felt as good now as it had when she was five. Holding tightly to his hand, she followed him inside and found herself face to face with her father.

Barney smiled. "Hi Amy, pleased to meet you. My name's Barney West, and I'm your dad. Why don't we sit down. I'm sure there's stuff you'd like to ask me."

Without relinquishing her grip on Joe's hand, she slid into a booth, her eyes downcast. Joe squeezed her hand again. "You want something to eat, sugar?"

Amy shrugged but remained silent as Joe ordered burgers and sodas for all of them. There were a million questions whirling around in her head, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. She didn't even look up when the waitress brought their burgers. Barney opened his mouth to speak, but Joe caught his eye and gave a tiny shake of his head, and he closed it again. They ate their food in silence. At least Joe and Barney did. Amy just stared at her burger with unseeing eyes. Joe frowned and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Amy, sugar. There must be something you want to say."

Taking a deep breath, she looked up, and when her eyes met Barney's they were cold and emotionless. "Yeah, I do have one question."

Barney smiled. "Fire away, sweetheart."

"Why didn't you want to see me? Were you just too spineless to face up to Joe, or are you just a heartless son of a bitch?"

“
I…Shit, Amy I don't know what to tell you."

"How about you tell me the truth. Why didn't you want anything to do with me?"

"It's complicated. When your mom found out she was pregnant, she thought it would be better if no one knew I was the dad."

"When you say no one, you mean Joe."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Okay, so now I know. You are spineless." She stood and turned to Joe. "Can you take me home? Goodbye, Mr. West."

Joe stood and touched her shoulder. "Give him a chance, sugar."

"Why should I?"

"Shit. I can't believe I'm saying this. Your dad is a good guy, maybe he should've manned up and fought for you. But I for one ain't sorry that he didn't. You are my kid, Amy, always will be. But there's no reason you can't make room for Barney."

Barney grinned. "Thanks, man."

"I ain't doing this for you." Joe frowned, then turned back to his girl. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Okay. I want you to get to know Barney. He's your family, and he will look out for you if I can't be around."

"You planning on running out on me?"

"Only every fucking day, sugar. The only reason I stick around is I figure you won't be a snotty teenager forever."

"Funny, Joe." She sighed and sat back down. "I ain't calling you Dad."

"Okay, sweetheart."

"And I ain't your sweetheart."

Joe chuckled. "Probably should've warned you about her attitude."

Giving Joe the finger, she turned back to Barney. "Will you look out for me, like Joe says?"

"Of course."

"I'll never love you like I love him."

"I don't expect you to. You will always be Tiny's kid. That will never change." He smiled. "I'd like to get to know you better, Amy. But we'll do this at your speed."

"Okay." She gave a tiny smile as Joe sat back down next to her and took her hand. "I look like you, don't I?"

"Yeah, sorry about that." He grinned as she chewed on her thumbnail. "I do that, too."

Barney watched as she leaned into Tiny. Practically everyone he knew was intimidated by the man opposite him. This skinny kid, though, showed no fear. She knew that no matter how far she pushed him, he'd never hurt her. He knew from what Tiny had told him that she'd been having a rough time and was struggling at school. He decided, however, not to pursue it. The kid was prickly to say the least, and it wouldn't be difficult to rub her  the wrong way.

As she pressed her cheek into Joe's hoodie on their way home, Amy reflected on her meeting with Barney. She had meant it when she said she would never call him Dad. That honor would always belong to Joe. And later as she snuggled on the sofa with him and Beth in front of the TV, she knew that this was her family. Always had been and always would be.

~ oOo ~

Beth closed her eyes and nestled against Joe's chest. She would be leaving today, and they really needed to talk about their future. "Are we going to talk about what's going on here?"

"We've just had mind-blowing sex, and as soon as I get my breath back, we're going to do it again."

She sighed. Talking wasn't Joe's strong point. But this was important. She needed to know where she stood. "Joe, please."

He grinned. "Demanding bitch." Pulling himself up into a sitting position, he lit a cigarette. "How about you tell me what it is you want."

"I want to be with you."

    
"Okay."

"Okay? Just like that?"

"You want to be with me. I want to be with you. Ain't much else to discuss." He made it sound simple, but of course they both knew it wasn't.

He had spent the last few days weighing up all the arguments whether or not they had a future together, and he had no doubt that the noise in her head was just as loud as it was in his. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I know we got shit to figure out. But that's just details."

She nodded and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "I'm hungry. Pancakes okay?"

"Sure." He watched as she padded, naked, across the bedroom. She had a classic hourglass figure that, unlike her sister, she worked hard to achieve. He knew that she visited the gym and swam regularly and had to admit, the results were spectacular. It was indicative of the way she was. If she wanted something, she worked hard to achieve it. In all the years he'd known her, he'd never known her to ask for anything.

He couldn't help but worry that it was unreasonable to ask her give up her life in Oregon to be with him. Climbing out of the bed, he stalked after her and roughly pulled her into his arms, burying his face into her hair. "I can't believe you want to be with someone like me."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're smart, beautiful. Shit, girl. You could have anyone you wanted. You should be with some fancy lawyer or something."

She laughed and, standing on tiptoes, kissed him gently on the lips. "Oh I've dated more than my fair share of lawyers, and they don't have half the integrity that you do. I know you, Joe. Who you are, what you do. I'm not stupid and I don't think life with you will always be easy. But you are the only person I can truly be myself with. Yes, I have a good job and a nice lifestyle, but what's really important to me is what's important to you. Family."

Joe returned the kiss, then, reluctantly, pulled away. He knew he'd never shake the feeling that she could do better, despite her reassurances. The life he led could be brutal and took its toll on old ladies. He had already decided that there would be no property patch and he would do his best to keep her away from the club. The greater the distance, the safer she and Amy would be.

Amy sat at the kitchen table watching as Beth made pancakes. "I wish you could stay."

"Me too, Amy. But I'll be back as soon as I can."

"For good?"

Beth grinned and Amy leapt to her feet and pulled her aunt into a bear hug. "I always knew you and Joe would get together eventually."

"Oh, did you now?"

"Yeah, ever since I was little. Nana Sophie knew it too. She's gonna be stoked."

"I'm not sure telling her is a good idea. Me and Joe want to keep things under wraps for now."

"Why? Oh, I get it. This is about mom ain't it?" She frowned. "You think she's gonna cause trouble?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. But Joe's worried she might try to keep you from him if she finds out."

"She can't do that. Can she?"

"Yes, she can, Amy."

"You can't keep it a secret forever."

"I know, and we don't want to. We just need a bit of breathing space. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." Amy sat back down. For over two months all she'd tried to do was get Joe to agree to her going back to Fillmore, but suddenly nothing was more important to her than being allowed to stay. She might never admit it, but she actually quite enjoyed going to school now and was starting to make friends. Her relationship with Joe was slowly starting to improve. He still drove her nuts, but the thought of being kept away from him terrified her. It wasn't that she didn't love her mom, but she loved him just as much. And she trusted him more.

Once showered, Joe made his way to the kitchen, hesitating as he overheard his name mentioned. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but hearing that Amy was genuinely pleased for them and finding out that, despite her protestations, she wanted to stay with him, was reassuring. He was still afraid that he'd be put in a position where he'd have to choose between her and Beth. More than anything, he wanted to keep his little family together.