A Film Star, A Baby, And A Proposal (12 page)

"Are you sure about that?"

"Certain. It took me six weeks to track him down. He ignored my messages and my calls."

Rosie sighed. "It sounds
to me as if he wants a chance to put it right."

"I can't trust him." And right there was the nub of the matter.

"Maybe you should both take it one step at a time and not rush into anything. I know the tabloids are stupid at times, but Alexander's always said Matt's one of the good guys."

"Alexander absolutely adores you." Eve didn't attempt to hide the longing from her voice.
Was it so very bad of her to want the unconditional love she saw between Nico and Bronte and Rosie and Alexander?

"The way we got together was full of drama and angst," admitted Rosie.
"Whoever said love is easy is a big fat liar."

"
Too true," Eve agreed, her eyes found Rosie's and she read a sympathy and understanding that had her open her heart. "The thing is I don't want to be in love with a film-star. The odds against a relationship working in that industry are too low. I'd need to be insane to even consider it."

Now Rosie's brows met.
"Are you in love with the actor or the man?"

"What's the difference?"

"Plenty. Nico knows Matt the man and Nico Ferranti's friends are good and kind and supportive. Let's look at it another way. How much does he mean to you?"

Eve shut her eyes. "Everything."

"So if you walk away and he meets someone else it's going to hurt. Why not give it a chance? You never know, it might last."

"He wants me to go to New Zealand with him
."

"Then I can safely say he adores you."

With a heavy heart Eve remembered her father. Could she bear coming face to face with the man who'd rejected his own child? A man who would be the grandfather to her baby? Then she realised that she'd permitted her feelings towards a man who was not worthy of the name to impact her feelings towards Matt. And that wasn't being fair to Matt, was it?

"But..."

"There's always the possibility," Rosie said. "Unlikely though it is, that his next two or three films are an epic fail. He could become a TV soap actor or one of those game show hosts on daytime TV."

Eve couldn't help but laugh
and knew that she shouldn't let the disappointment she felt in her father impact the feelings she had for a man who'd just shown her how brave he was by stepping forward to help to bring Bronte's baby into the world. And she knew with every beat of her heart that he'd never ever abandon her or their baby.

"God, I feel such a fool."

"You're pregnant. Madly in love. And terrified. Any one of which is enough to scramble a woman's brain cells. You've got all three. Cut yourself a break, Eve. Give him a chance."

Matt and Alexander stared at the baby monitor in the kitchen.

Matt looked like a man who'd had all his birthdays come at once.

"Jesus
Christ, she loves me," he said in a voice filled with shock and awe.

"I take it this is news to you?"

"Hell yeah, it's news. She never told me."

"Then if you want my advice t
ry to pretend you didn't hear that. Let her tell you in her own time."

"I asked her to marry me and she said no."

"Even more reason to forget you heard her."

The hurt that h
ad been a relentless ache in Matt's chest eased.

He
took a huge breath and let hurt go.

Alexander was watching him carefully.
"I don't want to rain on your parade, pal. But she still hasn't said yes."

"She will,
" Matt said with determination. At Alexander's bland look he laughed, ran a shaky hand through his hair. Something like relief and joy filled his heart. However, he knew that Alexander was right. Listening into a very private conversation between Eve and Rosie fell into the same camp as him reading Eve's journal. And look how upset she'd been over that little slip. The love of his life would not be pleased to discover he'd heard every single word. Now he just needed to work out how to get Eve to confess her feelings for him.

He caught Alexander's eye. "Can I just say that I love and adore your wife?"

Alexander grinned and raised his glass. "She's something else isn't she?"

"We go out for dinner and end up delivering a baby."

The following day
Eve sank onto a couch in their suite, rested her weary head on the back and closed her eyes.

"Ca
n't say life's dull around here." Matt eyed her carefully, she hadn't slept well at The Dower House. He knew because he hadn't slept well himself. The adrenaline rush of helping Bronte bring her baby daughter into the world was still buzzing through his system. And Eve had become a little bit withdrawn this morning. Nothing he could put his finger on, but something had either upset her or scared her. "You look tired, love. Do you want to have a nap?"

She opened her eyes and met his. "I was thinking more along the lines of a nice long bath and then a little bit of shopping. I wasn't planning on staying here for Christmas day. I haven't bought you anything."

So she'd been worrying about buying him a gift?

Relief made him grin like a fool
. "You wanna buy me a present?"

"What would you like?"

"Surprise me."

The streets of the market town of L
udlow were teeming with people.

The majority of them carrying bulging shopping bags. Both sides of the
quaint main street were lined with shops, all with their windows crowded with festive displays. Old Ludlow was one of the few towns in the country that had bucked the trend during the worse recession in living memory. And Eve loved it.

"Right," she said turning to Matt who was holding her hand. "Enjoy your day, I can do this part alone."

She tugged but he held her hand firm in his. "I'll go with you."

The time had come
, Eve decided, to make a stand.

"No. Or
it won't be a surprise on Christmas morning," she said discouragingly. "I won't be able to browse with you peering over my shoulder."

"I promise I won't look," he told her as he began to weave through the crowds down Main
Street, her hand firmly held in his.

S
he swallowed a frustrated laugh and then decided to go with the flow. "I want to start in here," Eve said stopping at an upmarket store.

By the time she was laden with an eclectic
assortment of gifts for the guy who had everything, Matt looked like a man who'd been hit with a truck. So Eve made up her mind to stop at as many shops as she possibly could.

"Why don't you put these in the car," she said, determined to get rid of him, and thrust the bags into his arms. "No peeking."

Blue eyes danced into hers. "They're all beautifully wrapped. The assistant wouldn't let me peek. I'm a big strong guy, I can carry more."

Eve had to admit she'd had the best time. Matt made her laugh, a
n appealing quality in any man and while browsing through the stores she'd fallen a little bit more in love with him. Most men she knew detested shopping. For a man she'd nailed as a loner, he was great company. He'd done a fair bit of shopping himself and she wondered now what he'd bought for her. She suspected a super soft cashmere sweater she'd been admiring had found its way into his haul.

"I hope you're not buying me clothes, Matt. I have
a particular taste."

He stopped dead in the middle of the street
kissed her right on the mouth.

"Not telling. Are you up for a coffee break or are you on a roll?"

"A coffee break would be great."

Taking her hand he pulled her into a
nearby coffee house and settled her into a plump leather chair. After dumping their bags in another chair he went off in search of a waiter. Eve watched him chat to a server and point to her. When he joined her and stripped off his coat and hat he was careful to keep his back to the room.

She grinned.
"Do you seriously think anyone's going to recognise you with all that scruff on your face and the long hair?"

"A person can't be too careful," he said and shifted the chair so it was next to hers and he could touch her. "Feeling okay?"

"Matt," she said exasperated. "I'm pregnant not sick."

"I know, but you've been very quiet since last night. It was
all pretty dramatic. Has it made you scared?"

She blinked, knowing
full well she'd need to tell Matt about her father and why she was finding it hard if not impossible to go to New Zealand with him. And she knew he'd put up a fight. His face when he handed Bronte the baby last night had been full of wonder.

Eve
recognised the possessive glint in his eyes when he'd looked at her now. The baby she carried was very real to him and he desperately wanted to be a good father.

For the first time
something more powerful than panic about meeting her father overwhelmed her. Guilt. How was she going to reconcile keeping Matt from their child with wanting to do the right thing? Preventing him from seeing their child for a whole year would be a bitter blow to a man who appeared to relish the idea of fatherhood.

"I think every w
oman is nervous of giving birth," she said and then admitted, "I have a lot on my mind."

Blue, blue eyes held hers and she read something that looked like understanding and compassion for her. And right there she knew she couldn't put off telling him how she felt. She opened her mouth to speak when the waiter arrived to take their order.

Once their drinks were served, she tried again.

"Matt, I haven't told you about my father."

Blue eyes stayed on hers as he leaned forward and took her hand.

"I'm sorry if it upsets you
to talk about it, Eve. I don't want to see you sad."

"He met my mother, they had a brief affair, she got pregnant, had me." His thumb kept rubbing the back of her hand. "
She never really spoke about him except to say they'd never married. When I was seven he was supposed to come to collect me and take me to his home for a visit. But he cancelled. For hours I sat on the step with my suitcase just waiting and hoping that he'd come. I'll never forget that feeling of being tossed aside. And my mother refused to let him break my heart again. He had all sorts of excuses about his career, his big chance..." She tailed off.

"What does
he do?"

Her eyes stayed glued to his.

"He's an actor."

Blink, blink.

His brows rose. "Who?"

She took a deep breath
and her teeth worried her bottom lip.

"Rupert Gillier."

Whoa.

Matt knew his jaw was on the floor.

What. The. Fuck?

Gill
ier was Eve's father? His unborn child's grandfather? A man who'd turned his back on his own daughter? Like a huge jigsaw puzzle everything fell into place for Matt. The no strings rule. The fact she didn't see Matt as father material. Holy God. She was bound to compare him to her father. He could see it in those gorgeous whisky coloured eyes. Regret. And he knew, he just knew that there was no way in hell she was coming to New Zealand with him. The thought of not seeing her belly grow large with their child of not holding his newborn baby in his arms had something break in Matt.

He'd heard of
heartache but never realised how much it physically hurt.

He cleared his throat. "Eve, I'm not your father."

"I know that," she whispered.

What she needed he realised was love. Unconditional love. And he had it for her. All he needed to do was to convin
ce her to take it.

"Let me put it to you this way. I love you, and you're going to marry me."

The disbelief in her beautiful eyes shamed him.

"
I wish you would stop saying that, Matt. You don't love me."

"You are it for me,
Eve. The one. I always knew it. I ran from it, because there are times when I can be a fool."

Her eyes searched his and he saw the moment when she believed him.

She pulled her hand from his and pressed her fingers in her eyes. "I need you to be nothing but honest with me because it's not only my heart you will shatter if this doesn't work, but our child's heart."

Tenderness for her, a gia
nt wave of it, and for the heartbroken little girl that still influenced the woman rose through him. "I'll never hurt you. I'll never let you down. Trust me, Eve."

Now her hands dropped from her eyes.

Whisky coloured pools swimming with an emotion that brought a lump to his throat stayed on his. "You need to be very sure because I do not forgive and I do not forget."

That made two of the
m and right there Matt made a silent promise to her that one Rupert Gillier would not be in his movie. He'd make sure Tobin Gillespie earned his hefty agent's fee and get right on it.

"Me neither," he said. Then he took her hand, linked their fingers. "You haven't said you love me
, babe."

Her eyes were still terribly sad, but he was relieved to see the flash of annoyance. Matt much preferred a pissed off Eve to the sad and vulnerable one.

"You know I do."

"Eve."

"I love you, you bastard," she whispered.

His mouth kicked because he just knew she wanted to smack him.

He opened his mouth to promise her the earth, the stars and the moon, but she continued,

"I'm a model.
To most people that means I'm an object. Made up of arms and legs and feet and a smile. I feel like I've travelled the world and my whole life right up to this moment alone. Now I won't be alone and I want to thank you for that. For giving me a child. No matter what happens between us I'll always be grateful to you for that, Matt."

Hell, he didn't want her gratitude for God's sake. And w
hy did he feel there was a
but
coming?

Ignoring the ache in his gut he carried on, "Marry me."

Even though she heard the plea in his voice, saw it in his eyes she shook her head.

"I can't marry you."

She didn't miss the heat flash of what looked like fury and was that pain?

"You love me. You've just admitted it. Why?"

Because I want it too much. Love you too much,
she wanted to say. Instead she said, "Think about it logically. I'm not the type who enjoys or wants the limelight. To be seen as object that belongs to you. You love the buzz, the parties and the media. You need a woman who loves it too."

He nodded. "So, are you saying you'd marry
me if I gave up acting?"

Those whisky eyes flashed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not the one being ridiculous," he tossed back. He grabbed her other hand, forced her to look at him. "You're making a pitiful excuse. Tell me the truth, dammit."

Eve thought her heart would break in two. Why couldn't he see that this would never work between them? But she wanted a life with him so very much. If she had one wish it would be that they could work together. No matter how hard she tried she just didn't believe that he had it in him to put her and a baby before himself and his towering ambition.

Her brow creased as she fell apart and Matt felt like a bastard, but he needed to hear the truth and nothing but from her.

Tears
, big fat ones, streamed down her cheeks.

"I can't do it. I can't go
through it again, Matt, just waiting for you to walk away." On a cry she pressed her fingers into her eyes. "Please God, I can't do it."

Forgetting where they were, Matt
was on his feet and pulling her up. He caught her to him and held on tight, desperate to comfort, and to console. But Eve wanted guarantees and he had none to give. He'd told her he loved her but it wasn't enough. How could he find the right words to get through this kind of fear?

She didn't trust him.

And whose fault was that?

"Eve, don't cry," he said, desperately searching for patience.

And then something he'd heard his father once say came to him. He'd been talking to Matt's older brother about safe sex and what loving a woman and marriage was all about.
'Marriage is not about doing the right thing or whether or not
you
will be happy with a woman. Marriage is about making someone else happy. It's about
her
. It's about making a family with
her
. And if a man doesn't raise his own child, or influence that child, who will?'

"Eve, I want to make
you
happy. I want to build a home with
you
. I want to raise our children." At her wide eyes that were glued to his, he smiled. "Yes, I want more than one, babe. I want to be a part of your family. Be your husband. See, it's not all about
me
it's about
you
." Now his brows rose. "Can you say that you feel the same way about me?"