A Fox's Family (24 page)

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Authors: Brandon Varnell

Tags: #Humor, #Fiction

BOOK: A Fox's Family
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By
now Kevin had become accustomed to how blunt Kiara could be.

“T-that―is
that really something you should be saying to your disciple?”

“I
feel that honesty is the best policy. You won’t get stronger if
I coddle you.” Kiara ruffled Kevin’s hair, making him
scowl. “However, I wouldn’t worry too much. In fact, I
think this can work to your benefit.”

“You’re
saying that my clumsiness can be an advantage?”

“Anything
can be an advantage if you know how to use it,” Kiara retorted,
to which Kevin made a face. Seeing his obviously befuddled
expression, she elaborated. “The key is figuring out how to
turn your weakness into your strength. Even simple things like your
personality, or your natural propensity for tripping over your own
two feet can become your strength if you know how. Heck, even the way
you dress can give you an advantage against your enemies.”

Kiara
paused, allowing Kevin a moment to absorb her words.

“Take
Kotohime for example; if you didn’t know how skilled she was
with that katana of hers, and just saw her just wandering around
town, you’d probably assume she was easy prey, right?”

“I…
I guess so.”

“No
one would expect a woman wearing clothes that look more suitable in
ancient Japan to be capable of fighting. Yet she is one of the
strongest yōkai I have ever met, easily on par with myself, and
maybe even a little better.”

Kevin
was surprised by how much praise Kiara gave Kotohime. He didn’t
know the exact nature of their relationship, though he’d
sometimes see them talking rather amiably. However, he also
remembered Lilian’s words about how inu and kitsune didn’t
mix, so their strange friendship seemed kind of odd.

But
then again, both Kiara and Kotohime were odd individuals. For a
species who enjoyed combat so much, Kiara didn’t display much
bloodlust. She always spoke with a mostly polite, if somewhat gruff,
tone. He had never heard her badmouth anyone either.

Kotohime
was just weird.

“You
can do the same thing,” Kiara continued. “Your unassuming
nature and general clumsiness when fighting would easily fool someone
into thinking you can’t fight at all. They would underestimate
you and suddenly ‘bam!’” Kevin nearly jumped when
Kiara smashed her left fist into the palm of her right hand. “You
hit them right where it hurts!”

“That
makes sense… I think.”

Kiara
raised an eyebrow. “You think?”

His
cheeks turning red, Kevin squirmed under Kiara’s stare.
“W-well, I’ve seen some similar stuff happen in the anime
I watch, so…”

“You
and your anime,” Kiara sighed. “What is it with kids
these days?” Shaking her head, as if dispelling her bemusement,
she waved a dismissive hand at him. “Anyway, we’re done
for today, so why don’t you take a shower and head home?”

“Right.”

After
taking a shower, Kevin hopped on his bike and rode home, his mind
full of deep thoughts—as well as daydreams about kicking ass
and taking names.

Although,
just whose name he was taking and whose ass he was kicking had yet to
be seen.

***

When
Kevin returned home it was to see that everyone was already prepped
and ready to leave. It made him very glad that he’d had the
forethought to pack some clothes in a gym bag so he could change
after his beating―uh, workout.

“I
can’t believe we’re going shopping for Halloween
costumes!”

“Yes,
yes, Halloween trip. Hurrah, hurrah. Look, can we get going now?”

Lilian
looked at her sister with large round eyes that seemed to be begging
for a hug.

“Mou,
aren’t you excited, Iris? We’re going costume shopping
for our first Halloween ever!”

“Aw!”
Iris squealed as she wrapped her arms around her sister’s
shoulders and rubbed her cheek against Lilian’s hair. “You
look so adorable when you’re excited like this, Lily-pad.”

“I-Iris!
Stop hugging me like this! And don’t call me Lily-pad!”

“Ara,
ara.” An amused Kotohime stopped Iris from further embarrassing
her sister. “Please calm down, you two. While this is indeed
something to be exuberant about, please try and save your enthusiasm
for when we actually start shopping, ne?”

“Have
you ever gone costume shopping, Lord Kevin?”

Kevin
didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way Kirihime (or
Kotohime, for that matter) addressed him. He just didn’t feel
very lordly. He still answered her, however. “Plenty of times.
I’m a human, remember? I grew up celebrating Halloween.”

A
small frown crossed Kevin’s face, something that Kirihime did
not fail to notice.

“Are
you alright, Lord Kevin?” she asked, concern radiating from her
voice. Kevin looked at her and smiled a bit. He really liked this
woman. She was so much nicer than her sister.

“Yeah,
I’m fine. I was just remembering something.”

Kevin
looked back to Lilian and Iris. Lilian was chatting her sister’s
ear off about what kind of costumes she wanted to try on, while the
raven-haired kitsune merely watched her with an amused smile. He
didn’t think Iris was listening.

She’s
probably too busy staring at Lilian’s chest.

Kevin
absently eyed his mate’s chest, watching it bounce and heave as
she made wild hand gesticulations.

There
could be no doubt that it was what Iris was staring at.

“What
were you remembering?” Kirihime asked. “If you don’t
mind my asking.”

Kevin
turned away from his mate and her sister. “You know how my mom
is always out of the country for her job, right? I never really got
to celebrate Halloween with her because of that. Sure, we celebrated
Halloween together when I was really little, but I don’t
remember those times that well. I can’t even remember my mom
ever taking me costume shopping. All throughout elementary school, I
went shopping with Lindsay and her family. And when I was in middle
school, I went with Eric and his dad.”

There
was a moment of silence as the group of kitsune looked at Kevin. This
silence broke when Lilian grabbed his hand and beamed at him.

“Don’t
worry! Now that I’m here, you don’t need to worry about
not spending Halloween with your family. I’m your family now!”

“Lilian,”
Kevin felt his cheeks grow warm. He wondered if he would ever get
used to the feelings she evoked in him.

Probably
not.

“Ah.
Camellia… Camellia will treat you like a son!”

“Uh…”
Kevin didn’t know if Camellia even knew how sons were supposed
to be treated. “Thanks?”

“Tee-hee!”

“It
may not be my place to say this,” Kirihime placed a hand
against her chest, her lips curving in a gentle arc, “but
everyone here, including Lady Iris and my sister, see you as a part
of our family. I don’t know if this will make up for not having
your mother around, but I do hope that you will eventually see us as
your family one day.”

Kevin
felt a strange warmth pass through his chest as she spoke. It was
bliss, ecstasy in every sense of the word, this strange but pleasant
feeling. He allowed himself a smile. Strange as it may have seemed,
these people… kitsune, really were almost like a family to him
now.

Hard
to believe that I’ve only known three of them for about two
weeks.

“Hey,
Kirihime! I hope you’re not making a pass on my mate!”

Lilian
wrapped her arms around Kevin’s left arm and glared at
Kirihime, whose wide eyes reminded him of water balloons.

“N-no!
Of course not, Lady Lilian! I-I would never—I mean―Kevin
is handsome but, you know, he’s just too young. Ah! Not that
being young is a bad thing,” she assured Kevin, as if he needed
some kind of reassurance. “It’s just that you’re
too young for me. Hm-hm.” She nodded her head. “Don’t
worry, Lady Lilian, I would never make a pass at your mate.”

“Good.”

“You
know that you really don’t need to worry about that, right?”
Kevin whispered in Lilian’s ear. “Even if she did like
me, it wouldn’t matter. I’m your mate, remember?”

“I
know,” Lilian whispered back. “I just wanted to watch her
squirm a bit. It’s funny.”

“Huh…”
After a moment, Kevin chuckled. “I guess you really are a
kitsune.”

“But
of course.” Lilian’s smile epitomized mischief. “In
any case, I wouldn’t mind if she did make a pass at you, just
so long as she recognizes that I’m your mate.”

“Hm-mm…
wait. What?”

“Nothing.”

“Would
you two stop whispering over there!?” An irate Iris stared
daggers at the duo.

“Sorry,”
the two said in unison.

Under
Kotohime’s guidance, the group exited the apartment and locked
the door behind them.

Because
the mall was too far to walk, they would be taking a cab, which
Kotohime somehow managed to get for them. Kevin hadn’t even
been aware that Kotohime knew how to use the phone, much less hire a
cab. But then again, she was over 200 years old.

As
they made their way down the stairs, Kevin observed the family of
kitsune. Lilian appeared to be the most excited of the group. She
wore a smile that went from ear to ear and had a bounce in her step.
Camella also seemed pretty excited, but…

“Hawa!
Halloween!”

The
eldest of the group—even if she didn’t act like it—rushed
down the stairs with an enthusiasm that could not be denied.

“M-My
Lady! Please do not jump around so much! You might―”

“HAWA!”

“―trip.”
Kirihime flinched as the person she served took a spill, falling down
the stairs and landing in a heap of limbs, tails, and ears.

Kevin
and Lilian winced. That had to hurt.

“By
Inari’s saggy scrotum, can’t you be a little more
graceful?”

“Hawa…”

***

Spirit
was
a Halloween store, though it looked more like a warehouse than a
place that sold costumes. Large and rectangular, it sat near a
crowded parking lot, a lone building located several hundred meters
from a mall. Made of metal, the structure would normally be gleaming
in the sunlight but instead appeared dull due to the cloud cover.

Christine
and Lindsay were already there, waiting in the parking lot as they
exited the cab. Lindsay wore the bright grin that was so typical of
her. Christine looked bored, though Kevin thought he saw hints of
excitement dancing in her eyes, restrained by her need to appear
aloof.

“Hey,
you two!” Kevin greeted as he strode up to them, Lilian by his
side and Iris by hers. Behind them, the two maids made sure Camellia
didn’t try to wander off as they trailed after him.

“Hey
yourself.” Lindsay took one look at them and shook her head.
“That’s quite the group you’ve got there.”
She paused to lean in, as if sharing a conspiratorial secret. “Are
they all… you know?”

“Yeah.”

With
Lindsay’s opening, introductions were in order. They had all
met Iris already, but neither of them had met Lilian’s mom or
Kirihime. While Lindsay greeted the group of kitsune with her usual
friendliness, Christine remained silent. Her eyes were a mixture of
cold and uncertainty, and the temperature around the yuki-onna had
begun to plummet.

“So,
this is your family,” Lindsay eyed the unusual gathering of
kitsune.

Lilian
nodded. “My immediate family, yes.”

“Uh
huh.” Lindsay eyed Camellia, whose toga did little to hide her
voluptuous body. “No offense, Lilian, but I think I’m
beginning to hate your genetics.”

Lilian
pouted. “That’s not a very nice thing to say…”

“Jealousy
is such an ugly emotion,” Iris shook her head pityingly.

“You
have no right to talk down to people about jealousy,” Kevin
said dryly, ignoring the furious glance the raven-haired vixen cast
him.

Alex
and Andrew arrived next. They were dropped off by their mother, a
nice woman who owned a bakery. She would often give Kevin cookies
when he visited, which was why he didn’t visit very often. Too
many cookies weren’t very good for the body.

The
moment Alex and Andrew saw the large group of beautiful females
standing around Kevin, the pair dropped to their knees in worship.

“Oh,
wise master, please take us under your wing and teach us your
womanizing ways!”

“Shut
up, you two,” a thoroughly shamefaced Kevin spat. “I
don’t want to deal with this crap so early in the morning. And
get off the ground. Everyone’s staring at us because of the
scene you’re making!”

Justin
showed up after the twins, his father, a quiet and unassuming man
dropping him off before leaving. The dull-faced boy took one look at
all of the people gathered, and then cracked a small smile.

“… Doki-doki
waku-waku…”

Needless
to say, the boy got nothing but odd looks from everyone.

The
last person to show was Eric. The perverted high schooler was not
dropped off by his parents―neither of them owned a military
style Humvee, especially not one with a large painting of Alice from
Monster
Girl Quest
on
it.

Eric
stepped out of the vehicle, a pair of shades on his face. Kevin
wondered if his friend was trying to look cool. It wouldn’t
have worked regardless, but it failed epically here. The moment Eric
left the large military vehicle with the image of a super-sexy lamia
emblazoned on its hood, he froze, the glasses falling from his face
to reveal dishpan-sized eyes. He surveyed the crowd before him,
taking in the curves of those present with a stupid look on his face.

Then
he started drooling like an idiot.

“And
this is your best friend,” a grinning Iris said to Kevin, who
merely facepalmed.

Eric
wasn’t alone that day. Clad in a black tube top, booty shorts
and sandals, Heather Grant could have easily competed with the
kitsune present in the beauty department.

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