A Fox's Maid (17 page)

“
Of course.” Ms. Swift confirmed. “All women have an Extra Dimensional Storage Space. It is one of the fundamental differences between a man and a woman—aside from the obvious, of course.”

“
Indeed.”

While Kotohime and Lilian nodded, Kevin’s mind fell into turmoil.

“
Another one.” His piteous moan. “And this one is my mom to boot!” Hands grasped chunks of blond hair as if desiring to rip them out. “Isn’t there someone around me who can be considered normal? Is that too much to ask for?”

Ms. Swift observed her son freaking out.

“
Hmm, it appears as though my son is distressed.”

“
It does seem that way. Ufufufu…”

“
There, there, Kevin.” Lilian rubbed his back. “It’ll be alright.”

“
Don’t patronize me,” Kevin grumbled under his breath, “I so do not need you being condescending right now.”

“
You know I would never be condescending toward you, Beloved. That’s Kotohime’s job.”

“
Ugh.”

“
Ufufufu…”

“
You stop laughing.” Kevin shot the maid a glare.

“
Ufufufu…”

“
You too, Lilian. It’s creepy enough with just one of you. I don’t need both of you doing it.”

Ms. Swift sipped her tea until the cup was empty, then set it down before placing her elbows on the table and steepling her fingers together. “So to sum things up: Lilian ran away from home and ended up in your care after getting seriously injured. Rather than doing the smart thing and getting her to a hospital, you took her here and bandaged her injuries to the best of your abilities. At which point, Lilian decided to marry you as a way of showing her gratitude. Is that about right?”

Kevin rubbed his forehead.

“
Uh, more or less.”

Even with the watered down version, Kevin hadn’t been able to get around the “mating” issue, and could only replace the word “mating” with “marriage” to explain Lilian’s continued presence.

“
And Kotohime is Lilian’s bodyguard, who only arrived here a few days ago when she discovered the location of her charge.”

“
Yes.”

“
I see,” Ms. Swift said before going silent again.

Kevin flushed. Hearing his mom’s summation of events made it all sound pretty unbelievable, not to mention stupid. Really, who the heck would believe a story like his? Too bad he couldn’t tell his mom that Lilian had actually been a two-tailed fox at the time of her injury, and that he, fearing she might be some kind of secret government experiment, decided against taking her to a veterinarian where she might get reported to the FBI. Maybe it was just him, but he really couldn’t see that going over too well.

“
So listen, Mom, the truth is that Lilian was actually a fox when I found her, as in those animals that live in the wild and don’t like humans. I would have taken her to the vet, but because she has two tails, I thought she might be a government experiment and didn’t want her being taken away by the FBI so they could experiment on her again.”

“
I see.”

“
Mom, what are you doing?

“
Calling the nearest psychiatric clinic… hello? Yes, I’d like you to take a look at my son. I think he’s got Middle School Second Year Syndrome.”

He shook his head. Not a good idea.

Kevin watched nervously as his mother took in everything with a completely passive gaze. It was so unlike her to not show any emotion at all. His mom was a very expressive woman. Very emotive. Anyone who spent even five seconds with her knew that. Then again, this situation was not exactly normal, was it?

How many other moms came home to discover that their son was living with two beautiful women? How many came home and learned that one of those two women had essentially proposed to their son?

None. That’s how many.

“
Kevin.”

At the sound of his name being called, Kevin could only gulp.

“
Y-yes?”

“
I…”

This was it, the moment his mom passed judgement. He was so dead. His mom was going to rain divine punishment upon him like an entire pantheon of angry gods. Maybe she would ground him until he was 37, or perhaps she would take away his collection of anime and manga. She might even go so far as to burn them. Life as he knew it was officially over.

“…
am so proud of you!” Ms. Swift squealed.

“
Eh?” Kevin only had enough time to widen his eyes before his mother launched herself from her seat. “W-wait! Mom! Don’t―mmmppphhh!”

“
Oh, how I’ve waited for this day! The day my son finally became a man!”

“
Mmmph!!! Mphmmmphhh!!!”

“
I always thought you would remain a virgin for the rest of your life and die alone! Now I can finally rest easy!”

“
Mmm mmph mmphmmphmm!”

“
Don’t worry, Kevin! I approve of your relationship with Lilian. I am surprised, though. I always expected you to end up with Lindsay, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Just so long as you end up with a nice girl, I can know true peace.”

“
Mmphmphmphmmmmphh! Mmm! Mmmmppphhh!!”

“
And you don’t need to worry about me cramping your style or trying to stifle your relationship with Lilian. I’ll be more than happy to sit back and not interfere while you two explore your relationship more intimately. I don’t mind if you two share a bed. I know how young people are at your age. Sex is a natural part of any healthy teenage relationship.”

“
Mmmmmmmmph!!!”

“
Just promise me that you and Lilian will give me some grandkids eventually, okay? I’m not getting any younger, you know, and I’ve always wanted some grandchildren to spoil.”

“
Mmmpppphhhhh!’

While Kevin found himself incapable of speaking, or breathing, or much of anything, really, the other two occupants could only stare as the young man and his mom shared a mother-son bonding moment—emphasis on the bonding.

Lilian glowered as Kevin’s mother smothered her son in affection―and her bosom, but mostly affection.

“
This is so unfair. That woman is shoving Kevin’s face into her boobs, and because she’s his mom, I can’t do a single thing about it.” She crossed her arms and pouted. “Muu, I’m the only woman whose breasts Kevin should be using as a pillow.”

“
Ara, ara.” Kotohime felt nothing if not amusement.

***

After several minutes of glowering at Ms. Swift liberally smothering her son with affection, Lilian decided that enough was enough. Pulling Kevin out of the excited woman’s embrace, Lilian had gone back to clinging to him, much like she’d done when they first met.

Even an hour after the incident, the two-tails refused to let Kevin go. With her left arm wound tightly around his right, she glared at Ms. Swift, who sat on one of the chairs with a serene smile. It was like she didn’t even see the murderous expression on Lilian’s face.

“
You and Kevin make such a cute couple.”

As if the words held dialectic powers, the aura of DOOM that had surrounded Lilian since the incident in the kitchen vanished entirely, and Lilian was all smiles again.

“
You really think so?” She asked, her sparkling eyes eerily reminding Kevin of two stars simultaneously going super nova.

“
So quick to change your tune,” Kevin barked, embracing his role as the
tsukkomi.
“
And I’m right here, you know? Do you really have to talk about me like I’m not even here?”

“
Oh, yes,” Ms. Swift’s smile widened, “I don’t think I’ve seen Kevin look so comfortable around a member of the opposite sex since seventh grade. Seeing you and him acting so intimate with each other really shows how close you two are.”

“
Still right here.”

“
Thank you!” Lilian’s megawatt smile outshone the sun.

“
Why are you thanking her? And stop ignoring me, dang it!”

“
So tell me,” Ms. Swift’s smile turned positively devious. She leaned forward in her seat and fixed the beautiful redhead with the gaze of a gossip monger. “Have you two done the deed yet?”

“
Don’t talk about stuff like that while I’m here! Actually, don’t talk about that stuff at all!”

Lilian pouted. She probably would have crossed her arms had she not been holding onto one of Kevin’s. “No. We haven’t done anything yet. Be―I mean, Kevin, hasn’t ravished me in the entire time we’ve known each other. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. He sleeps in a sleeping bag on the floor, and refuses to get in bed with me.”

“
Oh, fine. I see how it is. Let’s all just ignore Kevin. It’s not like his opinion matters or anything.”

“
Ufufufu.”

“
And you stop laughing!” Kevin pointed an accusatory finger at Kotohime.

“
I’m very disappointed in you, Kevin.” Ms. Swift looked at her son with an almost pitying expression. “You have a hot girl who is more than willing to sleep with you, and you’re not taking her up on it. That is not very manly.”

“
Don’t talk to me about being manly,” Kevin spat, “and aren’t you supposed to be a responsible adult? You should be telling me that it’s not okay to have sex before marriage! Not telling me that I should have sex to prove my manliness!”

His mother scoffed, as if she’d never heard such a preposterous notion before. “I’m not like those other moms, with their traditional and outdated ways of thinking. I’m a progressive thinker. Unlike most mothers, who don’t understand their sons at all, I am perfectly aware that boys your age are hormonal individuals overflowing with lustful urges.”

“
What lustful urges?!”

“
And sex is a very beautiful thing. It’s not something that you or anyone else should feel ashamed of.”

“
Stop talking about sex!”

“
Plus, I want some grandchildren as soon as possible, so I’m willing to waive aside the issues other people might have with it.”

“
I don’t want children yet! I’m only fifteen!”

Sitting in the corner of the room, quietly cleaning her katana, Kotohime had the air of someone with primetime seats to their favorite entertainment. “Ara, ara. You seem to be a bit stressed, Kevin-san.”

“
Quiet you!”

***

Kevin sighed as he stepped into his room wearing black boxers and a plain white T-shirt. His hair was still damp from his shower, and several droplets of water trickled down his spine.

Lilian looked up from her place on Kevin’s bed. She was laying on her stomach, a manga laid out in front of her. Kevin couldn’t see which manga she was reading, but he had more important things on his mind.

Like how Lilian’s position had exposed a significant portion of her cleavage. And how she wasn’t wearing a bra. That would have been bad enough, but her gorgeous calves were kicking back and forth, causing the hem of her shirt to ride up and show off her wonderful, panty-clad bottom. Her tails, which she’d pulled out the moment she arrived in the sanctity of their room, lay on her side while her foxy ears twitched. Those two characteristics did not help Kevin’s quickly awakening libido. Not one bit.

Damn his Otaku tendencies. Damn his love of furries.

“
Do you really have to lay around like that?” Kevin turned his head so he wasn’t looking at her. Yet even then, his eyes still flickered over to the magnificent view.

Lilian looked up from her manga and tilted her head. “Like what? Is something wrong?”

“
Ah, um, n-no, nothing’s wrong,” Kevin mumbled. So this wasn’t some attempt at seducing him? Now that was a surprise. Oh, his blush finally went down. Good. “I’m surprised you’re not still with my mom. You two seemed to be getting along pretty well. I thought you two would still be talking.”

When he’d gone to take a shower, his mom had still been conversing with Lilian. Before he’d left them, she had asked the redhead all kinds of questions, most of which were embarrassing. Honestly, what kind of mom asked some girl they’d just met when she planned on having children with her son?

Mine, apparently.

“
I would much rather spend time with you. Don’t get me wrong, I like your mom. At least, I like her when she’s not groping my boobs or shoving your face into hers.” Kevin and Lilian both shuddered, for completely different reasons, he was sure. “But, while your mom’s alright, I’d prefer spending time with the person I love.”

Her words instantly made Kevin feel guilty. Warm and happy as well, but also ashamed. He didn’t know why. So far as he knew, he had nothing to feel guilty about. Or did he?