A French Whipping (23 page)

26

IN THE BACK
of the limo, Milton kept looking from Nick to Blake and back again as Shane drove them all to Boston Children’s Hospital. Blake had deliberately invaded Nick’s space when she’d joined them, sliding in next to him on the seat and kissing his cheek. He took her hand in his, but he didn’t meet her eyes.

Milton, wearing a hideous tropical-print shirt that he must have picked up on vacation, grinned at her.

“I told you not to cut your vacation short,” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes at him.

He spread his hands the same way he did when he was showing an audience that he didn’t have anything up his sleeves. “It was Regina’s idea. She was getting bored, and she missed the kids.”

Blake didn’t doubt that was true. Other than Nick, Regina was one of the most driven people she’d ever met. “Is she at the hospital today?”

“She’s not working, but she’s meeting us there.”

“That’s good.” Blake liked watching Milton and Regina together. In some ways, they were as odd a pair as she and Nick. Milton was always in motion, always doing something, and almost every thought in his head seemed to come straight out of his mouth. Regina was quieter, more thoughtful, but was often too serious.

Blake slid a glance to Nick’s hard profile and frowned.

“Did Nick tell you he adopted a kitten?” Blake turned to Milton with a smile that might have been just a little evil around the edges.

Milton’s eyes widened. “Bullshit.”

“He did,” Blake confirmed and patted Nick’s knee with her free hand. She thought she could hear his teeth grinding.

“You didn’t mention that earlier.” Milton didn’t bother to hide his grin as he looked at Nick.

“I didn’t adopt it. I picked it up temporarily.”

Blake laid her head on Nick’s shoulder, thinking about the perfume. Ten years. “He’s in denial.”

Milton nodded as if that made perfect sense. “It’s where he lives.”

“Speaking of denial,” Nick said pointedly in Blake’s direction. “We found a document dealer in Little Italy today who says he made papers for Keenan and a woman, and that Keenan mentioned he intended to leave the country within the week, so whatever he’s planning, he’s planning it soon.”

Blake stopped smiling and her hand clenched around Nick’s. He squeezed back, and she took a deep breath.

With a frown at Nick, Milton explained, “We had some help from Interpol, and we’ve told your Detective O’Halloran the names that they intend to use, but it’s still possible that he had other aliases made as backups.”

“So we still don’t know where he is right now?”

Nick shook his head. “No, not yet.”

“But Roland’s looking right now, and we’re going to keep looking.” Milton seemed determined to stay positive, especially since Nick was being such a grumpy bastard.

“It would make sense if you stayed home and didn’t go to the shelter tonight,” Nick added, finally meeting her eyes. “Just in case. We need to talk, anyway.”

Blake couldn’t decide whether she wanted to kiss him or smack him around. Preferably both. She wasn’t going to like what he was going to tell her in this little “talk.” She could tell that much already.

“I’m going,” she said stubbornly and released his hand. “Rosa will be there. I’ll be surrounded by people. Everything will be fine.”

Tuesday wasn’t the usual day that Milton visited the hospital and performed tricks for the kids, but the entertainment room was still filled with the majority of his fans. Chuck, the kid who liked knots, came over to talk to Nick, who’d elected to stand in the back of the room while Milton and Regina passed out presents from their vacation in the Caribbean. Blake knelt nearby, talking to Emily, who was smiling broadly even though she sat in a wheelchair.

Chuck nodded at the laptop that Nick had carried out of the limo. “The game ready to try?”

“We have a short test version and the initial designs, but we need to add more levels, sketch out some additional characters, and go through testing. I brought it for you to take a first peek at it, though.” Nick held out the laptop. “Give it a shot.”

“Yeah? Awesome.” Chuck took the laptop and hurried to a nearby table, calling to a couple of the other kids.

Nick followed and stood behind them to watch, directing them on how to log in and start a new game. At one point Blake and Emily joined the boys, and the two of them offered their own opinions on how Nick and the other developers should make changes. By the time Milton joined the crowd, several small arguments had broken out.

“Okay,” Regina called out and held up a hand. “I think we need to come up with a plan. We’re going to take turns. Who’s going to volunteer to write down ideas for changes?”

Nick watched as Regina and Blake organized the kids into groups. Milton came over to stand beside him. He was smiling at Regina as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world.
Do I look at Blake that way?

“You know, this was my crowd you’ve stolen.”

Shrugging, Nick waved a hand at the group of kids. “I should have brought more copies with more laptops. I wasn’t expecting them to all want to play with it.”

“It’s a cool game, but more than that, they know that they are helping to build it, so it makes it theirs, you know?”

“Yeah, well, I got the idea from you.”

Chuck handed the game over to someone else and came back to Nick. “It’s pretty cool, but I have some ideas for how we can add levels.”

“All right.” Nick walked with Chuck to a nearby table and sat down with the kid.

Twenty minutes had gone by before he looked up from the notes he was taking. Milton was helping some kids with a new magic trick. Regina was helping Emily draw something on a piece of paper, and Blake was . . . Blake was nowhere to be found.

Nick stood quickly and looked around, searching for her blond hair amidst the kids and the odd parent or nurse who had stopped by to hang out. Someone had picked up pizza at some point and the air smelled like pepperoni.

Nick glance down at his watch. Three o’clock. They’d been at the hospital less than thirty minutes.

Walking over to Regina, Nick tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up, her big dark eyes wide in her pale face.

“Regina, have you seen Blake?”

“I think she went to get some drinks, but she may need some help carrying them.”

Nick looked at the glass walls that separated the entertainment room from the main hall, but he didn’t see her. “Be right back. I’ll just go see if I can help her.”

“You do that,” Regina replied with a small smile.

Nick stalked out of the entertainment room in the direction of the cafeteria, cursing her for going off by herself.
Doesn’t she know how to listen?

He was almost to the cafeteria when he heard her laugh. She was walking down the hallway toward him with a man at her side. A handsome doctor with gray sideburns, carrying a cooler full of drinks.

Nick felt every hair on his body stand on end. He didn’t say anything. He just stood there waiting, feeling like every muscle in his body had clenched tight.

Blake didn’t notice him standing there for a few moments. When she did, she smiled, tossing her hair. “Hey, Nick, some of the kids were thirsty.”

Nick couldn’t unclench his teeth enough to speak, so he just nodded.

A slight frown gathered between her eyes, but she gestured to the doctor walking beside her. “This is Dr. Miller. He’s been filling in for Regina while she was gone.”

When they were within a few feet of him, they stopped and the doctor set down the cooler, seeming a little uncertain. Nick managed to get his arm to move, but his body remained stiff, unyielding. “Good to meet you, Dr. Miller. Nick Cord.”

Blake raised an eyebrow at him, clearly asking him what was wrong, but he ignored her and shook hands with the doctor, restraining himself from squeezing. He was under control, damn it.

“Nick’s a friend of Milton and Regina. He’s one of the owners of Accendo.”

“Nice to meet you,” Miller said with a touch of wariness in his eyes.
Good.

“Can I help with something?” Nick offered, releasing the doctor’s hand. “I can take the cooler so you can get back to work.”

The doctor glanced at Blake, who’d put her hands on her hips and was staring at Nick like he’d sprouted horns.

“Sure.” He gestured to the cooler at his feet. “I guess I’d better. Blake, it was great to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Blake agreed, but she hadn’t taken her eyes off Nick. She waited until the doctor had disappeared down the hall before she said, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

27

BLAKE TRIED TO
enjoy hanging out with the kids after Nick’s behavior in the hallway, but she couldn’t help but send glances his way every so often. He tried to hide it, but he was rigid with tightly held emotions. Milton had noticed, as had Regina.

Blake wanted to drag him outside and demand that he talk to her, but realized that it was neither the time nor the place to have a fight, which was what this was shaping up to be. Some kind of fight involving her talking to a doctor at the hospital. Her stomach felt knotted and the tops of her shoulders ached with tension. It wasn’t the same as the way Carlos had treated her, but it felt similar, like he was somehow finding her at fault. She’d understood on some level that he was jealous—he’d mentioned hating that she worked as a waitress, but she hadn’t known his feelings were that strong. She’d been in arguments with Nick before, but she’d never seen him like this.

They left the kids after they’d been there about an hour. Milton and Regina took Regina’s Bentley and Nick and Blake climbed into the backseat of the limo.

This time Blake didn’t cuddle up to him. She sat on the seat across from him and waited. He looked at her once and the coldness in his eyes made her shudder. She looked away, hunching in on herself, until she realized that she was behaving like she had with Keenan, and Carlos, and Phillip, watching him warily and trying not to draw his attention. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Nick wasn’t those men. There was no reason for her to be afraid of him. He was her friend and she knew him. He might be jealous, but he wouldn’t hurt her on purpose, and she was strong enough to call him on it for hurting her by accident. Her counselor explained that it was about keeping her boundaries, and not letting people—even people she loved—treat her poorly.

Swallowing, she straightened her shoulders. “Nick, tell me what’s bothering you. You’re freaking me out.”

A muscle moved in his jaw, but he didn’t answer.

“Nick.” She moved to sit next to him and tried to take his hand in hers. He allowed it, but his body was still tense. Surely he wasn’t this upset because someone had talked to her in a hallway.

“I looked around and couldn’t find you,” he bit out. “I thought . . . I couldn’t help but wonder if Keenan had somehow gotten to you there. And then I saw you talking and laughing with that doctor.”

Blake hadn’t meant to scare him. “I’m sorry. I should have asked someone to come with me. That was stupid. But why are you upset about Dr. Miller? He asked if he could help me carry the cooler and I said yes.”

“He wanted you.”

Blake shrugged, uncomfortable with the way the conversation was running, but not willing to entertain his idiocy. “Maybe. Who cares?”

He looked at her, and his eyes were no longer cold, but blazing with heat. “You were flirting back.”

Blake felt herself getting angry. She was not fucking doing this again. Not again. “I was being myself. He offered to help and I let him.”

Nick looked away from her, but his fist had curled into a ball in his lap. “I know. I know that, but when I saw him talking to you, I—”

He whipped his head back in her direction and she flinched automatically. His face paled. “This is why I knew I shouldn’t fuck you. I want you every minute. I want you next to me, touching me, and no one else to lay eyes on you. I am a fucking madman and you deserve better than this.”

“You’re right.” She lifted her chin. “I don’t deserve to have you angry because someone spoke to me. I don’t deserve to be treated like I did something wrong.”

He nodded. “Like I said.”

She put a hand on his arm. “But if this is a problem you have, we can work on it. You would never hurt me. I know that.” He wouldn’t hurt her, but it was a problem. One that would undoubtedly take counseling if it wasn’t going to end up hurting them both.

His eyes rested on her for a long moment, but she could tell that she hadn’t convinced him of anything. “You would get tired of it. You would figure out that you deserve someone who doesn’t have all this emotion tearing around inside. You deserve someone better. I knew it even before today.”

“You’re afraid,” she said baldly.

When he didn’t respond, she leaned over and took his face in her hands, making him look at her.

“I get that you’re afraid,” she whispered more gently. She didn’t mention what she’d already figured out—that he loved her. “But let me tell you something I’ve learned. You can’t let fear rule your life. Not fear of being alone, or fear of someone hurting you, or fear of losing someone. You know what it does, Nick. You’ve seen it with your father.”

His eyes burned. “That’s why I tried to stay away from you. I don’t know if I can control it.”

“You don’t have to.” She dropped a soft kiss on his lips. “You just have to acknowledge it and let it go.”

“That easy?”

“Imagine we’re sailing,” she said softly. “We’re sailing on that little dinghy you like to call a boat and the sun is shining.”

“Blake.” His hands reached up to grasp her upper arms.

She kissed him again, molding her lips to his this time. He resisted at first, but after a moment he gave in and kissed her back desperately, his hands sliding into her hair.

Blake shifted so that she could climb into his lap without breaking the kiss. She didn’t want to lose him, didn’t want to lose how she felt, how this felt. Even knowing he had this issue, knowing it would be a problem, she felt strong enough to handle it, to help him with it. He loved her. She knew he loved her.

Glad of the partition that Shane had wisely put up when he’d seen their expressions on leaving the hospital, Blake wriggled on Nick’s lap, wishing she’d worn a skirt. He was hard beneath her, she could feel him even through both their jeans.

His hands slid to her hips and squeezed, making her gasp, and he took the opportunity to find the bottom of her T-shirt and tug it over her head. He didn’t take it off, though. He left it so that it trapped her arms behind her, and bent his head in between her breasts, burying his face between them as his hands cupped either side and his thumbs stroked her nipples through the padding of her bra.

“Nick,” she begged. “Please.”

She wasn’t entirely sure what she was begging for, but as long as he didn’t stop touching her, she didn’t feel as afraid that he would change his mind and push her away.

He drew down one cup of her bra, exposing her nipple, and bent his head to capture it in his mouth, sucking strongly at it while she gasped and thrust her hips forward. The other breast received the same attention, until her nipples were red and distended, glistening with the wetness of his mouth.

He was staring at his handiwork, weighing her breasts in his hands, when Blake lost patience. She slid down out of his lap and went to her knees between his legs.

He tried to stop her, but she managed to free her arms from her T-shirt, and unfastened his jeans, easing the zipper carefully over an impressive erection until he sprang free, hard and pulsing.

Bending her head, she took him in her mouth and tasted, letting her lips brush the sensitive tip. When he groaned, she used one hand to brace herself against his thigh and gripped the base of his cock with the other. As the limo rolled gently down the road, bouncing occasionally, she slid her mouth up and down his cock, keeping her lips taut and pressed tightly against his pulsing flesh.

“Shit, Blake. Baby, you have to stop. I’m going to—”

She knew what he was going to do. She could tell by the way his hips were rising and falling, by how quick his breathing had become. She moved more quickly, taking him thoroughly, not letting him go for a moment, and when the base of his shaft began to pulse, she opened her throat and drank every drop of the hot proof of his desire for her.

When she’d wrung every last drop from him, she sat back on her heels and considered him. He was more relaxed, but his eyes were still bleak.

Blake felt tears sting her own eyes. “Nick.”

“We’re almost home,” he said, interrupting her. He fixed his pants so that he was once again covered and held a hand out to her. “Come on.”

Blake ignored the hand, locating her shirt, drawing it over her head, and fixing her bra. With a sharp, frustrated curse, she climbed back into the seat as the limo pulled up under the garage of Nick’s apartment.

“I’m going to have Shane take me to the office.” Nick’s gruff voice sounded distant and far away, like the wind was snatching it. “I have a few things I need to do, and I’ll drive the Subaru home. He should be back in time to take you to your support group meeting, if you still want to go.”

Blake was having trouble believing that he thought he could just ignore what had just happened. “Aren’t we going to talk about this?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Tonight, okay? We’ll talk about it tonight.”

Blake wasn’t sure she’d gotten through to him, but she wasn’t going to give up. They could talk tonight, and the night after, and the night after that, but she wasn’t going to let him put her in a safe little compartment of his life where he didn’t have to feel.

“All right, Nick. Tonight.”