A Girl Between (10 page)

I’m glad Monday’s almost over.  I hate Mondays, especially
when you show up at school with a drastic new haircut.  Everyone had to put
their two cents in, although the comments were generally positive (at least the
ones to my face!).  I just didn’t like people staring at me.  I was able to
scrunch my hair over the cut above my eye so people wouldn’t ask about that. 
Eve let me wear her favorite yellow sweater.  I thought about wearing a skirt
but I didn’t want to overdo since I seldom wear skirts, so I wore the sweater
with my best old jeans.  People are always scrutinizing what you do in high
school.  It’s like living in a fish bowl. 

I bumped into Rainy in front of the school at the end of the
day.  I was listening to her go on and on about an incident in the café when I
had the feeling that someone was watching me.  I turned my head slightly and
saw him out of the corner of my eye.  It was Ian.  He was across the street a
little ways down, staring right at me.  I didn’t want to go running over to him
so I pretended that I hadn’t seen him.  I hope he’s coming in this direction. 
As Rainy was talking, I could see her continue to glance at someone behind me,
and then I felt a touch on my arm.  She popped her gum and said with a funny smirk,
“Hey, Tess, I have to head to work.  See ya later.”

I turned to Ian.  As much as I tried to steel myself, I was taken
aback by his masculine appearance.  He had been doing some kind of construction
work because he was wearing a dirty (tight) t-shirt, old work boots and there
was a smudge of dirt below his left eye.  He was as beautiful as ever.  It’s just
not fair!  Even dirt becomes him.  On top of that, he was smiling at me.  Of
course, he has perfect teeth.

“Tess, I was working on a house down the street when I
realized that the high school was about to be let out and I wanted to catch
you,” Ian said, still smiling at me.

“Working on a house?” I reply like a dummy.

“Yeah, I work for my uncle’s construction company during my
free time.  We’re renovating an old house over on Prospect Street,” he
answered.

So that explained his perfectly formed muscles; he does
construction work.  I have to stop staring at his muscle-man arms.  I’ve never been
a fan of guys who spend hours pumping iron in the gym.  Guys get a much better
physique the old fashioned way, plain old physical labor.  How can I maintain
my composure under these trying conditions?  I swear he knows what I’m thinking
about.  He still has that grin on his face.

He got a little more serious. “So, Tess, I wanted to tell
you how much I liked your new haircut.  It really suits you, except, what
happened here?”  As he was studying my face his hand lightly brushed up my hair
to expose the band aid over my eyebrow.  As I self-consciously smoothed my hair
back down, Ian grabbed my hand and held it.  “And what happened to your hand?”

I looked at him sheepishly and pulled my hand back. “Oh,
THAT!” I waved it off.  “It happened last night when I tripped on the old
soccer field and my head hit a piece of metal.  It was nothing.  As far as my
hands, I was just helping my gram pull out some old rose bushes.  I probably
should’ve worn gloves because those thorns cut me up a bit.”  That excuse for
my hand just popped into my head.

Think I’m gonna change the subject.  “Didn’t I see you at
the bonfire?”  I asked him innocently.

“Yeah, I wanted to say hello to some old friends but I had
other plans so I didn’t stay very long.  I did see you in the crowd and I have
to say that, at first, I didn’t recognize you because of your haircut.  By the
way, I heard that some strange stuff happened there.  Did you know anything
about how Jimmy O’Donnell got hurt?” Ian asked.  Was he looking at me
suspiciously?

I regarded him with the most innocent look I could manage
under the circumstances.  “No, I didn’t see anything when I was there.  In
fact, because I hit my head I didn’t stay for the entire time, so I think I
missed out on all the commotion.  Someone at school was saying that Jimmy got
hurt going down that steep hill behind the athletic fields.  Is that what you
heard?”

“Yeah, Jimmy’s cousin is on the construction crew I work
with.  I heard from him that Jimmy went flying down that hill in his wheelchair
and then his chair flipped over at the bottom,” said Ian. “That must’ve been
brutal.  Can you imagine?  I heard that if he hadn’t been in such good shape
physically it probably would have killed him.  Man, he’s had some real bad luck
lately.”

“Do they know how he ended up going down that hill?”  I had
to ask him even though I was freaking out about it.  I had to know what people
thought.

“Jimmy hadn’t really said.  It was like he didn’t know, or
else he just didn’t remember.  The doctors say that he should eventually recall
what happened.  It was so bizarre!  At the top of that hill is that abutment.  It’s
not like someone could have lifted him over.  He’s really a big guy, plus you
have to add in the weight of the wheelchair.   You’d need a forklift to get him
over that.  It’s a real mystery.”  As Ian was speaking he was shaking his head
with disbelief.

I had to ask, “Why would anyone want to do that to Bull…I
mean Jimmy?”  I wanted to hear what Ian thought of Bully Boy.

“Oh, there are probably plenty of people who wouldn’t mind
seeing Jimmy take a fall, but I don’t see anyone wanting to kill him!  Jimmy
can be a real obnoxious pain.  I’ve seen him really torment kids in school.  I
don’t go along with that stuff.  I would say that I was never really big friends
with Jimmy, or enemies for that matter.  He left me alone and I left him
alone.”

THAT bugged me.  I just had to add something so I responded,
“I have to say, I can’t stand bullies.”

He looked at me thoughtfully and replied, “I don’t like
bullies either, but there are some people you just don’t want to mix it up
with.  You know what I mean?”

I’m not giving in on this.  I narrowed my eyes at him.  “There
are times when you have to take a stand, like when you see a bully picking on
someone who’s weak.  Wouldn’t you agree?”

He suddenly looked taken aback.  “Tess, why are we going on
about this?  I’m not friends with Jimmy, but at the same time, I don’t want to
see him get hurt.”  Ian quickly glanced at his watch before he continued, “I’m
sorry, I have to get back to work.  I’d like to stay and hang out with you but I
came here for a reason.  The Tri Town fair starts on Friday in Andover.  My
crew is building the stage for the bands that will be playing there.  Anyway, I
was wondering if you’d go with me on Friday night?  I love greasy fair food, I
love crazy rides, and I love country music, so what do you think?”

He’s so darn confident, like he knows what I’m going to say.
 If I was smart I would keep him guessing, but I can’t.  I want to go with him
and he knows it.  “I guess I can make it.  I have nothing else going on Friday
night.  I’ve never been to a town fair before.”  I tried not to sound ecstatic,
even though that’s how I felt.

“Great!”  I was rewarded with a full smile of perfect white
teeth.  “I have to get back to work.  Pick you up on Friday at 6 o’clock.”

I watched him stride back from the direction he came.  I
didn’t want him to turn around and see me admiring his every step, so I forced
myself to look away.  It was hard to do.

On Wednesday after school, Mercy invited me over to her
house.  I was grateful because I was going crazy just sitting home.  All of the
events of Friday night were going round and round in my head and none of it was
making any sense.  Mercy might be the one person who could shed some light on
what was going on.

My aunt offered to drive me to Mercy’s place, since it was a
few miles out of town.  When we got to the designated address, we weren’t sure
where to go.  There was a turnoff onto an unkempt dirt road that was lined on
both sides with overgrown bushes and trees.  It didn’t appear that anyone had
driven down that way for quite some time.

My aunt put the car on idle and we sat there for a minute
trying to figure out what to do.  Could they live down that road surrounded by
all these woods?  I seem to recall Mercy mentioning that she lived next to a
state forest and that her closest neighbor was over a mile away.  But, this
isolation was a little creepy.  My aunt finally shrugged her shoulders and
turned onto the road.  It was rough going so we proceeded slowly. After a while,
we went around a curve and came upon a house trailer in a clearing.  There was
Mercy, lounging in a faded blue couch under an awning.   When she saw us she
got up, adjusted her long skirt and ran over to greet us.

“Hey, Tess, I’m so glad you could make it.  You can see why
I don’t get too many visitors around here.  It’s out in the boonies.”  She then
turned to my aunt, grinned at her and stuck out her hand, “So nice to finally
meet you, Mrs. Littleton.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mercy,” Aunt Amy replied, smiling.  Then
Auntie turned to me. “I have to head out because I’m meeting Grandma for lunch.
 When should I come get you?”

Mercy jumped in, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Littleton.  My mom said
that Tess can stay for dinner and then she’ll drive her home on her way to
work.  Mom’s on the eleven o’clock shift. ”

Aunt Amy nodded.  “OK, girls, see you later.”  As my aunt
turned her head around to back up the car she glanced at me.  She looked very
pleased.  I knew she was happy that I was making some friends in Woodley.  And my
aunt wasn’t the snooty type.  She wouldn’t care if Mercy lived in a trailer or
a mansion.  As long as I liked Mercy, that was enough for her.

As I looked around at all the surrounding woods I asked, “You
guys really are out in the boonies.  Do you mind living out here?”

“My mom and I have moved around a bit over the years.  Every
time we relocate we get a place further out in the sticks.  I guess I’m just
used to it.  In fact, I’d say that I’ve really gotten to like the peace and
quiet.  I find that when I’m in a noisy place like a city, I’m not that comfortable.
Anyway, Tess, one reason I invited you here today was to help you figure out what’s
going on.  I think my mom can help you out.  Why don’t you come on in and meet
her?”  Mercy held the door open for me.

I was a little dubious about how Mercy’s mom could help, but
it was certainly worth a try.  We walked up the steps into the kitchen of the
trailer.  The first thing I saw were dried plants hanging from the ceiling in
the corner of the room.  There was clutter everywhere but the place didn’t
appear disheveled or dirty.  It’s just that most of the available surfaces in
the kitchen and the living room were covered with jars or books or some other
kind of paraphernalia.  Perhaps it was because their living space was rather
small; there wasn’t a lot of available room for storage.  I have to say that this
place did fit Mercy.  She was frequently wearing a floppy hat over her mop of
hair, with long earrings and a big skirt.  It wasn’t exactly a neat, tailored
look. 

Suddenly, I heard the slam of a screen door.  A slender woman
in worn baggy jeans and a flannel shirt emerged, carrying a bundle of greens. 
Her brown hair was streaked with gray and pulled back into a long braid.  She
stopped and scrutinized me for a minute and then she asked, “Are you Tess?”

Mercy answered, “Of course she’s Tess.  I told you she’d be
coming over today, remember?”

She was still studying me as she responded, “Yes, I know.  I
just wanted to be sure.”

Mercy looked anxiously between Tess and her mom. “Mom,
remember what you told me the other day?  You said that you would help Tess
find out what was going on.  I had Tess come over today for that reason. 
Things are getting bad out there and she has to know what’s up in order to
protect herself.”

“I think you’re absolutely right.  I guess I’m a little
nervous because I’m out of practice.  I haven’t hypnotized anyone for over a
year now.  I can never guarantee success.  Of course, ultimate success also
depends upon the subject.”  Mercy’s mom turned to me and asked, “Have you ever
been hypnotized Tess?”

I was completely taken aback.  “Hypnotized?  Not that I
remember.  Why would you ask?”

Mercy’s mom replied, “Because I plan on hypnotizing you,
Tess.  By the way, why don’t you just call me Belinda?  I think that will help you
to feel more relaxed when I put you under.”

Mercy touched my arm and smiled at me. “Don’t worry, Tess. 
I’ve been hypnotized a few times.  There’s nothing to it.  Just follow my mom’s
directions and you’ll do fine.”

“What do you want to hypnotize me for?  How will that give
me answers?  I don’t understand.”  I was starting to feel panicky.

Belinda said, “Take a seat dear and let me explain how it
works.  If you decide that you don’t want to be put under by hypnosis, I most
certainly would not do it.”

Something about Belinda’s calm voice made me feel better.  I
took a deep breath and sat down.  “OK, go ahead and explain things to me.”

Belinda said, “There’s something in your past which you
can’t remember that will help clarify the strange things that have been
happening to you.”

How could Belinda know that much about me?  “Exactly what
strange things are you referring to?”  I asked.

Belinda thought for a minute before she answered.  “Have you
ever affected the outcome of a future event by your actions?  Have you ever had
premonitions of a disaster which enabled you to avoid it?  Have you ever heard
voices from the past, or ever ‘spoken in tongues’ as we say?”  She paused for a
moment and then asked, “Have you ever disabled someone else’s actions through
your own thoughts?  Have you ever been able to hear what someone else was
thinking?”

I was stunned.  Everything she said had been happening to
me.  I was terrified to really examine what was going on so I never put it all
together.  If I had, I would have come to the conclusion that I was losing my
mind.  I also had the perfect excuse to avoid my troubles.  After all, I’ve
been directing my energies toward adapting to my new life here in Woodley.  I
put everything else on the back burner.

“There is some truth in what you say,” I admitted. “What
will happen when you hypnotize me?”

“Through a series of relaxation techniques, I will be able
to reach the deeper parts of your unconscious mind that would normally be
inaccessible.  However, you will be aware of your surroundings and what you are
doing and saying.  The purpose of the hypnosis is to make you more
knowledgeable about your past and how your past affects your life today.  When
you are viewing through the lens of hypnosis, it’s almost like seeing a movie.  You
can pause, slow down, or go forward.”

I responded, “I don’t understand how learning about my past
will help me to understand what’s happening to me today.”

Belinda responded, “Tess, you’ll have to trust me on this. 
If what I suspect about you is true, it will explain just about everything.”

“What I don’t understand is why you just can’t just tell me
about it.  Why do you have to hypnotize me?” I asked.

Mercy jumped in and said, “Tess, we don’t know about your
past.  That’s something that you learn from the hypnosis.  Even if my mom did
know something, I don’t think you’d believe her if she just told you.  I had my
doubts, too.  You just have to see for yourself.”

After what happened at the bon fire, I can’t afford to
ignore all of the strange events that seem to follow me around.  There’s no
sign that this insanity is stopping, or even slowing down.  I would even say
that they’re increasing in number and intensity.  I’m also smart enough to know
that I can’t figure this out by myself.  I have no idea why they’re occurring.  What’s
most important is that I trust Mercy.  (I can’t forget that she’s the major
reason I’m not in the hospital or even dead right now!)  I don’t know her
mother as well, but they seem to work together.  I looked over at Belinda, “OK,
let’s just do it.”

Belinda stared at me. “Are you absolutely sure, Tess?  It
will open doors to the truth. Sometimes the truth can be pacifying, but
sometimes it can be terrifying.  Once that door is open, you can never go
back.”

“I think the door is already open.  I may as well see what’s
in there,” I responded.

Belinda stood up. “OK, Tess, let’s proceed.  You can stay
where you are.  It’s our most comfortable chair.  Also, let me make you some of
my special tea before we start.  It’s great for relaxing your mind.  It’ll only
take me a minute.”  Belinda bustled off.

Mercy came over and sat at the other end of the couch.
“Tess, do you mind if I stay and listen in?  I’ve been through it before so I
have an idea about how it goes.”

“You didn’t have to ask.  Of course you can stay.  I want
you to have an understanding of what’s going on.  After all, you and your mom
are trying to help me.”

Belinda came back with the tea.  “Here, take a few sips. 
It’s called golden Pu’erh tea; quite delicious.  Also, put this pillow behind
your head and lean back a little.”  I took a few sips of the tea.  It had a
very earthy taste; like moss and woods.  Then I leaned back and made myself
comfortable.

Belinda sat down in front of me.  “Now, take a deep breath,
and as you exhale, close your eyes and feel yourself relaxing.  Take another
breath and slowly release it.  Continue breathing and with each breath feel
your muscles become very loose and limp.”  She continued while speaking in a
low voice, “Your eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier.  Feel each of your
muscles become looser and heavier as you exhale.  Your eyelids are so heavy.  They
are hard to open.”  I could vaguely hear Belinda speaking but I couldn’t quite
catch her words.”

Next thing I know, I heard a snap.  I was conscious of my
surroundings but I felt like I was in a dream.

I heard a quiet voice. “How are you doing, Tess?”

“I’m fine.” I whispered.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions about your past, Tess.
 Is that OK with you?”

“That’s OK,” I whispered.

“Can you speak up a little, Tess?  We can’t hear you.”

“Yes, I’ll try.”  I replied quietly.

Belinda said, “When you are ready, please bring up a vivid
memory you had as a child.”

I sat there and let thoughts of my childhood drift through
my mind.  One memory in particular felt like it happened only yesterday.  “I
remember when I was six years old.  I was sitting in a big green room at the
hospital with my grandpa.  We were playing checkers.  A man in a white coat
came into the room and said, ‘It’s finally over.’  I didn’t know what he meant
by that.  I thought he meant that my mom wasn’t going to be sick any more.  It
took me a while to figure out that my mom had just died and she wouldn’t be
there for me anymore.” 

“Do you have any distinct memories from an earlier time?” Belinda
asked.

My voice was higher when I answered.  “I remember the last time
I saw my daddy.  I was three years old.  I was wearing my new yellow Tweety
bird pajamas that I got for my birthday.  I was feeling scared and very sad.  I
could hear mommy and daddy yelling a lot.  Daddy said he wanted to go away.”

“What happened with your daddy?”  Belinda leaned in to ask.

“Daddy came into my room that night.  I closed my eyes
because he scared me when he was mad.  He kissed the top of my head.  His mouth
smelled funny.  I opened my eyes for a peek and I saw him crying.  I never saw
my daddy cry before.  It was awful.  Then he just left.  I never saw him after
that,” I was whispering again.   I could feel my eyes start to tear up.

“Tess, let’s leave this time in your life.  It’s so sad for
you.  What do you remember from your previous life?” Belinda asked.

“My previous life?” I asked.  I was confused.

“Yes, your life before your present life.  You will have to
go back through the light before
The Between
and then the darkness and
the light,” Belinda explained.

“I don’t know about that.  Let me think.”  A series of vague
images passed through my mind, along with flashes of total darkness and a
bright light.  Were they real?  I finally got more of a feeling than a
picture. 

“I remember feeling so cold.”  I can’t stop shivering.

“What do you mean?” asked Belinda.

“It felt like we could never get warm,” I responded, my
teeth chattering.

“Why was that?”

“We could only get warm when we sat near the hearth.  Otherwise,
we were so cold.”

“Where did you live?” Belinda questioned.

“I lived in Connecticut.  I wasn’t happy there,” I said,
very quietly.

“Why weren’t you happy in Connecticut?” asked Belinda.

“They went after those of us who practiced the craft.  They
said we were familiar with the devil.  ‘Tis not so.”

“What craft are you talking about?” questioned Belinda.

“Mother used her skills and power to relieve those who were
plagued with injury or illness. She was instructing me in her arts,” I replied.

“What period of time was this, Tess?” asked Belinda

“My name is not Tess.  It is Elsa.  I know it is years
before the great war with England.”

“Why were things bad for you in Connecticut, Elsa?” asked
Belinda.

“The evil ones were the great pretenders.  To deflect
suspicion from themselves they became false accusers,” I answered tearfully.

“What were the accusations?” responded Belinda

“They accused the good ones of consorting with evil spirits
in order to terrorize and afflict thy neighbors.  The accusers were the ones
who were the tormentors and afflicters.  They were casting spells for their own
gain,” I declared angrily.

“Were you one of the accused?” questioned Belinda.

“Mother and I were falsely accused.  We were locked up in gaol
for months on end.  I was only six years old at the time.”  Suddenly, I started
rocking back and forth with my arms wrapped around myself.  I could feel tears
flowing down my face.

Belinda put a reassuring hand on Tess’s arm.  “Can you tell
us any more about what happened?”

“Mother had been condemned to death in a court of law by
those who were truly in league with Satan.  She had undergone all forms of
cruelty and torture including the test by water but she would not relent,” I
answered indignantly, grabbing the sides of the chair.

“What was her crime?”

“Her crime was that of being a healer.  Surely, they should
know that she was not God.  There are times when only God can save someone.  That
some died was not her fault.  However, that was not her most serious crime,” I
declared indignantly.

“What was her serious crime?” Belinda encouraged.

“That she would not render evil for evil; she refused to
name others.  That surely condemned her to die because that could not stand.”  I
spoke angrily.  I sat for a minute before continuing in a voice filled with
anguish, “I remember the day.  I was lying with momma in the cell. I was but a
little one and I didn’t know.  When they come to get her, at first, I thought
we were to be freed, but no, they came and tore her away from me. They led her
away and they MURDERED her.  It was the worse day of my life.  They said that
she was forced to ride through town to be mocked and humiliated by townsfolk.  Why
would they treat her as such?  She had always tried to do well by her
neighbors.  She was then brought to the hanging tree where she hung from a rope
until she was dead,” I attested, tears streaming down my face.

“What happened to you, Elsa?” Belinda gently probed.

I said softly, “I will never forget.  Mother came to me in a
dream that night.  She told me where coins were hidden in a tree in the woods
behind our farm.  As soon as I was old enough, I was to get the coin and leave
Connecticut, for if I stayed I would surely be condemned as my mother had been.
 She said to go to Maine where we had distant kinfolk who would care for me.”

“Did you follow your mother’s advice?” Belinda inquired.

“For the most part, I did.  When they released me from gaol,
I moved in with a Quaker family that lived outside of town.  They were the only
ones who were not afraid to take me.  After all, the townsfolk already hated
the Quakers.  I worked as a servant for them until I was old enough to get the
coins from the tree and to pay for passage to Maine.  I left Connecticut and
never went back,” I quietly explained.

“Do you remember anything else about your time in
Connecticut?”

“I remember what happened to our property.  After my
mother’s death, her farm was turned over to one of her accusers.  That was the
law and there was nothing to be done about it.  I then realized why my mother
was condemned and executed.  Mother was a gifted healer which made her open to
charges of witchcraft.  She was also a widow which put her in a perilous
position.  She was without the legal protection of a husband.  The accusers
simply wanted her farm.”

Mercy turned to her mother and remarked, “I know that you
wanted to spend more time to go back in Tess’s past but she’s already been through
so much.  She looks terrible, Mom.  Maybe we should stop now and continue on
another day.”

“We have to go on a little longer.  Just going back one life
will not allow Tess to see what is really happening.  She must see a pattern. 
In the long run she will feel better if she has some understanding and,
unfortunately, we don’t have the luxury of time,” Belinda replied.