A Heart's Endeavor (3 page)

She blew out a sigh and locked her register. “I need to tell Bob about the candy I dropped on the floor. Be right back.”

“Okay,” Jen replied with a cheery smile. “I’ll man the fort.” The younger girl gave Mel a mock salute and resumed her earlier position at the window facing the gas pumps.

Mel sighed. Would she ever be that happy and carefree?

* * * *

Outside, Jack resisted the urge to pump his fist in the air. What luck! Mel Manning was a voluptuous, brown-haired, blue-eyed beauty with a nice personality to boot. He would ask her out on a date and take it from there. Maybe some old-fashioned wooing was in order. He hadn’t romanced a woman in a long time.

“Come on, Shadow,” he barked good-naturedly and clapped his partner on the back as he rounded the cruiser. “What the hell are you doing standing there? I’m beat and ready to go home and grab a beer.”

He laughed at the shit-eating grin on the tall, black man’s face. Jim had earned the nickname Shadow because of his silent step. Plus, he bragged about the fact that he was the only one at the barracks who could hide successfully in the dark. That was if he didn’t smile. Jim’s sparkling white teeth could be a poster for a whitening toothpaste ad.

Jim twisted the gas cap until it clicked. “I was trying to get a tan. What are you bitchin’ about? I thought you got lost in there.”

“I think I just met my future wife.” Jack raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. That statement sounded ridiculous even to him.

Jim poked his head inside the cruiser. “You knock something loose in that hunk of cement you call a head?”

“Nope.” Jack fixed his face into what he hoped was a fierce glower. He reached for the traditional campaign hat he had laid on the back seat and plopped it on his head. The strap dangled along his chin. He hated the hat, but if it wasn’t on his head when he went back to the barracks he’d forget it. One never knew when a VIP would be touring the place. When he noticed Jim heading toward the store, his brows furrowed. “Where the hell are you goin’? I have first shot at the newbie.”

Jim stopped mid-stride, turned, and removed the sunglasses perched on his nose. “I’m just going to grab that bottle of water
you
forgot.”

Yeah, right.
Jack knew the unspoken rule. If time allowed the men always took a few minutes to admire an attractive female. Jack’s obvious interest in Mel no doubt had Jim itching to have a look. Jack eyed the pair of sunglasses dangling from his partner’s hand. Along with the uniform equipped with various weapons, wraparound sunglasses were also a necessity. They not only softened the sun’s rays while driving, but also concealed the direction of one’s focus on certain female body parts.

Jack snorted.
Bottle of water, my ass.
There was a vending machine at the barracks. Jim could have gotten his precious drink there.

Jack leaned out the window. “Like hell you are.” He whacked his head against the doorframe and his hat sailed to the floor. Bending over, his forehead bounced off the dashboard.
Christ almighty.
“You’re married.”

“I ain’t dead.”

“You will be when I tell your wife.”

Jim stomped back to the cruiser. He slid behind the wheel and keyed the engine. “You’d rat me out?”

“In a heartbeat.” Jack settled himself more comfortably in the seat and expelled a long, exaggerated sigh. “No doubt Katie would cut off your balls and feed them to the crows.”

Jack folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. His mouth twitched, but he remained silent on the ride back to the barracks. Jim’s wife was petite, but possessed a mammoth-sized temper. If Jim wanted to look his fill of the opposite sex he had to do it when Katie wasn’t around. Jack adored Katie. He wouldn’t intentionally hurt her. He’d just let Jim think that he would. He’d paste on his serious-as-shit face and Katie would interrogate Jim without a smidgen of mercy. Either way it turned out, his partner would be going without sex for a while.

“You’re a cold-hearted bastard, Dog, you know that?”

Jack laughed. “You got that right. Just make sure you spread the word.” He eyed his buddy with conviction. “On both counts.” Yep, he was a bastard and yep, he was going to get first shot at Mel.

Chapter 3

Mel held her photo ID card up to the small monitor outside of the guard shack. The red light switched to green and the bar blocking the entrance to The Lake lifted automatically. She waved to the security guard then stepped on the gas. Living in the small gated community had been her late husband’s idea. Although Mike had chosen the locale because it was closer to where he worked, Mel was fond of the secluded area because of the animals.

Her older brother Paul had often told her that she was a complete sucker for anything with fur or feathers. When they were kids, she’d often coax a stray dog or cat to follow her home after school so she could feed them. She’d sneak a wounded animal into her room and nurse it no matter how many times her dad would belt her backside. Then she’d cry when he’d carelessly pick up the animal, no matter the extent of its injuries, and throw it outside so “nature can take its course”. Oh, how she hated it when he said those words. Paul would do his best to protect her from their dad’s temper and get strapped for his efforts. Mom just hovered in the background, unwilling to override her husband’s rule. Her dad had been a hard man. She’d question her mother about his lack of kindness, only to be scolded and sternly reminded to be thankful she had a roof over her head, clothes on her back, and food on the table.

Well, those days were long gone.

Mel pulled into her driveway and smiled. Squirrels hung upside down on tree trunks, shaking their bushy tails. Chipmunks skittered back and forth across the macadam, and the birds were singing. She parked the car and saw a pointy-eared squirrel with big dark eyes sitting on a tree stump. The look on his face clearly said
feed me
.

“Hang on,” she mumbled and reached for the bag of peanuts on the front seat.

Of course, when one critter was fed more came. Blue jays flitted from tree to tree. The loud, colorful birds always raised a ruckus when food wasn’t tossed their way first. She needed to get her ass in gear and throw out some birdseed.

Mel grabbed her purse and went into the house. Her gaze roamed around the dimly lit kitchen, and a feeling of emptiness washed over her. It was so quiet…too quiet. Would this sense of loneliness ever go away?

She went into the bedroom and changed into a loose-fitting tank top and denim shorts. She pushed her feet into a pair of ratty sneakers and trudged back into the mudroom to fill a small bucket with sunflower seeds and peanuts. Outside, two squirrels were on the porch waiting for her. They scarfed up the peanuts she threw on the ground and took off into the woods. At least she had these guys to keep her company. Sadly, it was only these guys to keep her company since Paul had moved to Florida with his wife some time ago. Her two closest high school friends had gone off to college shortly after graduation. Mel saw them when they came home for visits, but then they moved away and she had lost touch. The girls she worked with at the post office stopped calling after she refused to return their messages. Since she wasn’t willing to share the details of what had happened, there was no way to explain her sudden departure, so it was easier just to avoid the phone calls, which she knew would be filled with questions.

Mel shook away her dismal musings and filled the bird feeders. She took a moment to watch the squirrels and chipmunks scamper away with the food. It wasn’t long before her thoughts drifted back to Jack Horan. Falling for a man wasn’t in her plans, so why did her heart pound at the idea of seeing him again?

The animals were too busy collecting the fare to pay her any attention, so Mel went back inside the house and brewed a pot of coffee. She tried to concentrate on something else besides Jack Horan, but it didn’t work. A surge of heat warmed her body. Maybe it was the uniform. Could it be the handcuffs? Hell, she didn’t know. And not once, in all the years of their marriage, did Mike have such a blatant sexual effect on her. He had been her first and only lover. Yet, after twenty years of marriage, she hadn’t been comfortable enough to admit harboring baser desires concerning sex. Mike would often threaten to send her away to an institution if she couldn’t control her emotions. If he had found out about what she really wanted in bed he would have shipped her off sooner. Longing to be tied up during sex wasn’t normal, was it?

The aroma of coffee reached her nose, reminding Mel why she had come into the house. She fixed a sandwich for supper and sat at the kitchen table. The minute she took a bite, the phone rang. She swallowed quickly and glanced at the caller ID.
Good old Paul.
It was his turn to call and, as usual, he was right on schedule.

She smiled and picked up the phone. “Hey, Paul. How are you? How are Jane and the boys?” She loved her two nephews, Kegan and Leyden, and she adored Jane, a pretty little blonde with a sparkling personality.

“Hey, Mel. We’re doing great. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

Mel gulped a mouthful of coffee. “Of course not. What’s new?”

“You’re going to be an aunt again.”

“Geez, Paul, after nineteen years you’re starting over?”

He chuckled. “Let’s just say we got caught up in the moment and leave it at that. The boys are hoping for a little sister to spoil and protect.”

Mel chortled. “And give daddy gray hair.”

Paul groaned. “Oh God, I don’t know if I can handle a daughter. Any boy she brings home will be met with a shotgun. I’ll be a nervous wreck for the rest of my life.”

“At least you know all the signs of a Romeo. I’m sure the poor kid wouldn’t be allowed out of the house until she’s at least thirty.” She paused. “I’m glad you called. I got a job.”

“What happened to the SPCA?”

Mel explained the abuse she had seen and pictured Paul nodding as he murmured his agreement. A moment of silence passed then he asked, “How are you really doing? Are you taking your meds?”

That question burned deep in her belly. Mike had constantly nagged her about taking her pills. Just a slight show of emotion would have him in an uproar. “Yes.” Her tone was waspish, and she immediately regretted snapping at the only person who really mattered in her life. “I’m sorry, Paul. Thanks for asking, but you know how I feel about that particular question.”

“I know, sis. I’m sorry. I told you before that the invitation to move in with me, Jane, and the boys is always open.”

Tears burned Mel’s eyes. Paul had always been her protector. If he knew the cruel things Mike had said to her, he’d blow a gasket. It was always, “
Take the freakin’ pills
”, or “
I don’t have time for this shit
.” He had treated the condition as if it was her own fault, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. Wishing away the sadness and dread just wasn’t feasible. She sighed. It was pointless to tell Paul anyway. Nothing could be done to change the past. It was time to face facts. Her dreams of a loving husband by her side were gone. Paul was the only other man who knew about her problems, and she planned on keeping it that way.

“Thanks, Paul, but I’m going to stay here for now.”

“Okay. Now, tell me about your job.”

“After I left the SPCA, I stopped to gas up the car. I saw a help wanted sign in the window at the Grab ‘n’ Go, and thought I’d give it a shot. I never expected to be hired on the spot. It’s hectic at times, but that’s just what I need. I’ve been holed up in the house for too long. If I scrub the floor one more time I’ll strip off the top layer.”

After a few more minutes of lighthearted teasing they said goodnight. Mel hung up the phone and looked around with a heavy heart. Someday she might take Paul up on his offer and move to Florida. It’d be good to have family around.

She sighed. So why did she miss a certain green-eyed trooper when she hadn’t even left?

* * * *

Day shift may have gotten hit with the morning crowd, but second shift got nailed just as well. Working wives and mothers rushed into the store in a hurry to beat the school buses home, asking that never-ending question, “What can I make for supper?”

Mel listened with amusement as some of the women stood in front of her register and bitched about a certain doctor claiming that men needed to lie down on the couch after a long day of work to rebuild testosterone. A war could be started with such a statement. Hopefully, not too many men had gotten wind of it. One woman threatened to hit her husband over the head with his own boot if he so much as glanced at the couch.

Along with throwing some ideas out here and there to help the disheveled women, Mel stocked shelves and wiped down the counters every so often after a pair of sticky little fingers would take delight in smearing the shiny surface. Aisles needed to be swept and mopped, and wastebaskets had to be emptied. She was too busy to ponder her problems and thankful for the distractions.

She recognized a lot of the customers and soon was calling them by name. She saw Jen during shift change. She missed her, but Stacy was a nice girl of twenty-one. Even though Mel felt old around these girls, their never-ending chatter about school and boyfriends lightened the mood. The girls would ask her advice on sex, but Mel had a feeling that they could teach her a thing or two.

Bob was a fair employer. Each girl was assigned certain duties for the evening. Chores completed were to be checked off the list and that list handed in at the end of the shift. Tonight, Mel was assigned to the deli area. It was also her job to see that the cooler was kept well-stocked with drinks. “Holy crap, it’s cold in there,” she said to Stacy as she tore off the jacket Bob had provided for just that task.

Stacy grinned. “Wait until you have to fill the ice cream. It’s way below zero in the freezer side.”

“Gee, thanks.” Mel hung up the jacket and blew on her cold fingers. She stopped short when she saw Jack standing in front of the deli.

“Hey, Mel. I didn’t get to eat lunch. Care to fix me a late snack?”