A Holiday To Remember (12 page)

“You are a smart man, Jonah Fraser.” Debra faced the approaching man with a name tag. “We’re looking for a medium-sized spruce.”

“Sure thing, ma’am. You want to head off to your left, those are our premium trees. I’ll tag along and cut the one you choose.”

“No need, Ted.” Jonah held out his hand for the ax. “I see you’re pretty busy. I’ll do it myself.”

“Seeing as how it’s you, Jonah.” The tree man handed over his ax. “My wife is sure happy with that new kitchen you and Ben did for her.”

“Glad she’s happy. See you later.” Jonah hefted the tool, carrying it easily by the handle and keeping his stride short to stay at Debra’s side. “I can see you’re a take-charge kind of woman.”

“You have a problem with that?”

“Not a chance. You’ve met my mother right? My sister? The men in my family learn quick how to hold our ground.”

“I hope you don’t mind Mia and I are picking out a tree for you. I agree with her. You need help.”

“Don’t we all.” Jonah thought of what Mia had said to him in the church. “You look happier than when you first walked into the carpentry shop.”

“I had a lot of worries when I first came, but they were for nothing. Ben is wonderful. It’s that simple. He’s so much like our brother Brandon, it feels as if I’ve known him forever.”

“A good sign. The time here has been good for you. You look radiant.”

“I do?” Surprise marked her face and she modestly waved his words away with a flip of her gloved hand. “This is the first time off I’ve had in forever. I think I took a week off when Mia was five to take her to the amusement parks in Florida. Mom and Dad tagged along with us, but other than that, I’ve been focused on providing for my girl.”

“A worthy goal.” He paused as Mia trotted ahead of them, looking at the trees. “You’ve done well with her.”

“Thanks, I only hope she’s happy. I would mortgage my future for that.”

He didn’t doubt it. “That’s why the high-powered career. I get that. But what about those dreams you haven’t talked about? Does the bookshop have anything to do with it?”

“Was I that obvious?”

“Your eyes give you away.” She was so honest, he could read her more clearly than anyone he’d ever known. Sunlight burnished her, making her lustrous hair gleam with highlights and emphasizing her porcelain complexion.

He tore his gaze away because if he wasn’t careful he was going to be the one who was starting to dream. “When Mia’s father refused to marry you for her sake, I’m assuming he had no interest in financial support?”

“No, and I was too proud to force him. I took my mother’s words to heart. I see now, thanks to you, that maybe there was another meaning to her statements, that she was speaking out of her own pain. But I loved her and I grew up. I graduated a few months later and I went straight to my family’s publishing house.”

“Some people in your position might have taken the easy path.” He did his best not to look at her but kept his gaze on the sparkling snow directly ahead of his boots. “But I know you enough to guess that you’ve earned what you have in life.”

“My position at the publishing house may have been expected, but no one works harder than I do, unless it’s my brother Brandon.” She shrugged, and her shadow riding before them on the snow shrugged, too.

“You still aren’t telling me about your dreams.”

“Some hurt too much, and the question is, how can something you’ve never had be so painful?”

“Wait one minute. Right there. That’s proof of how strong the things are which you cannot see or touch.” His shadow stretched ahead of him, taller and broader than her slim one. The image of them side by side together pulled at the dreams long buried and at a new one he wouldn’t let himself see.

“I suppose you’re right.” She tucked a strand of hair beneath her cap, drawing his gaze.

Drawing his admiration. Time stood still as he felt the first strike of love in his heart.

Up ahead, Mia’s voice cut through the stillness. “How about this one?”

When he found her up ahead standing in front of a fifteen-foot spruce, he figured she was being optimistic. “I’m not sure I could get that up the stairs and through the door. That’s problem number one. Problem number two would be that my ceilings are ten feet high.”

“Okay.” Mia shielded her eyes against the sun with her hand to grin at him. “I’ll find the perfect tree for you, don’t you worry!”

Jonah chuckled. “She’s determined, isn’t she?”

“You’re being a good sport, Jonah.”

“She’s great.”

“Yes, she is.” Debra leaned closer to him, so her voice wouldn’t carry. “That lost dream you wanted to know about? It’s nothing, nothing at all compared to the dream I got instead.”

He was beginning to see that about dreams. “You got a good one there.”

“I wouldn’t trade her for the world.”

Yeah, he was starting to feel that way about Debra. He folded her hand in his and, just so neither of them got the wrong idea, he explained. “The snow’s deep here. I don’t want you to slip.”

Her smile told him that she understood what he couldn’t say.

They walked together through the sun and snow with the fresh evergreen scent surrounding them, giving Mia all the time she needed to find the perfect tree.

Ross pulled to a stop outside the middle-class home and turned toward his passenger. Zach had been silent during the drive to this Richmond suburb. They’d both had a lot on their minds. Lynda Matthews had left her husband because he battered her. Wendy Kates had been with a man who battered her. Now they had to learn what Lynda knew before they could make their next move.

“He’s got to be our man.” Zach sounded sure.

“That’s my hunch, too. I guess we’re about to find out.” He nodded toward the front door, which was already opening. A woman with light brown hair was peeking out at him.

Lynda Matthews. Ross pocketed his keys and led the way up the concrete walkway. As he got closer, he noticed the bruising on the woman’s face. Greenish yellow around her eyes and across one cheekbone. Darker, newer bruises turning from deep black to purple on her jaw.

Sympathy filled him. “Thanks for agreeing to talk to us, Mrs. Matthews.”

“Call me Lynda, please.” As if uncertain, she backed up, pulling the door more widely open. “I want to do the right thing. Your sister, Trista, has been very k-kind to me. She’s helping me when I need it.”

“Trista will be glad to know that. I want to help you, Lynda. That’s why Detective Fletcher and I are here. We want to make sure Douglas Matthews doesn’t hurt you or any woman like this again. Will you answer our questions?”

“If I can. Come in.” The woman looked withdrawn and she moved with care, as if she were nursing a cracked rib or two. “My son is with my mother, so we won’t be interrupted. My dad is in the next room.”

“He’s welcome to join us if you’d feel safer.” Ross waited for Zach to wipe his feet before coming inside. He closed the door, listening as Lynda talked nervously about Trista’s call a few minutes ago. It had been a good decision to involve his sister.

After they’d sat down in the living room and refused offers of tea, they were able to get down to business. “My first question,” he began, “is about Douglas’s illegitimate daughter. Has he ever mentioned her?”

Lynda shook her head. “I had no idea. A daughter, you said? He never—” She swallowed hard. “He made me believe Logan was his only child. His first child. Then again, Douglas lied about a lot of things.”

Zach took a turn. “Have you ever heard the name Wendy Kates?”

“Never.”

“How about Barnaby Harcourt?” Ross asked next. “Did your husband ever meet with him or speak of him?”

“No.” Lynda fidgeted and shifted position on the couch. She looked very nervous. “There was this one time I interrupted Douglas when he was on the phone. He was very angry, which had surprised me at the time. When he deals with most people, he uses his television voice. That’s what I call it. The one that sounds so good and kind. He was furious and slammed down the phone. I noticed he had the checkbook out and he’d written Barnaby Harcourt as the payee. Douglas demanded to know what I s-saw. I didn’t tell him the truth. I was afraid to. I remember stammering—I didn’t know what to tell him—and he hit me. He told me never to interrupt him like that again. I never did.”

Ross felt sickened by Matthews. He vowed to keep Lynda Matthews in his prayers. No woman deserved such treatment. He held back what he knew about Wendy Kates. Lynda had been luckier than other women who’d spent time with Douglas Matthews, he realized, and that was sad, too. “Has Douglas tried to contact you?”

“He’s sent flowers, but I refused them. I know he’s going to fight me for custody. He keeps calling, but I won’t speak to him. I’ve asked Trista to file whatever papers we need to get a restraining order. I’m s-scared of Douglas, but I did the right thing ending my marriage. God didn’t intend for a husband to be cruel to his wife.”

“No, He didn’t,” Ross said as kindly as he could. “Thank you for your time, Lynda. If more questions come up, may I call you?”

“I’ll help if I can.”

Ross noticed the college and vocational-training catalogs on the end table. It was good that Lynda was making plans for a better life. He wished that for her.

At least he had some answers. Liam Matthews, Douglas’s father, must have been paying Barnaby Harcourt off, and after Liam’s death it sounded like Douglas had shelled out to keep his dirty deeds safely forgotten.

He waited until they were in the car heading back to the freeway before he asked Zach what he thought.

“I want the pleasure of cuffing him and hauling that rat to jail. What we don’t have is hard evidence. It’s all we’re missing to nail him.

“We just have to be smart, that’s all.” Ross kept his eyes on the road, since the traffic was getting heavier. They had a long drive ahead of them and plenty of time to figure out a plan to force Douglas Matthews into showing his hand.

D
ebra watched tiny snowflakes fly at the windshield of Jonah’s truck and gave in to a cozy snuggle of contentment. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this relaxed. Everything was just right. It had been, as Mia would say, the best day ever.

They’d decorated Jonah’s tree while he’d found and replaced all the burned-out bulbs in his strings of Christmas lights. When they were done, the spruce looked festive with its flashing multicolored glow and the paper snowflakes they’d added to the glittering stars and candy canes and silver and gold bells the girls had made.

She shot a glance over Mia’s head to the man behind the wheel. Jonah was the reason the day had been special. All these years she’d felt alone, struggling to give Mia everything she deserved, working to please her family and to mend fences with her mother at a job she liked but didn’t love. She’d been living a good life with so many comforts and yet she’d never known what was off, why she felt out of place and why true contentment had always eluded her.

She’d been missing a vital piece in her life, in her heart and in her soul. She’d forgotten how to dream.

“Oh! I know where we are!” Mia spoke up, bobbing on the seat to point up ahead. “We’re near the mayor’s mansion, right? Where we saw the tree-lighting ceremony? I wanted to see that street of lights. Can we? Please?”

“I don’t mind. How about it, Deb?”

The way he said her name made emotions ball up in her throat. Emotions she had to try to keep reined in. “Sure, it’s a lovely area of town.”

“I like it, too. I always figured I’d live around here one day.” He hung a right, nosing the truck down the frosty street that glowed under the influence of thousands of twinkle lights.

“Wow.” Mia twisted against the seat belt to get a better view. “I want to live here, too. This is awesome.”

Debra felt dazzled, as well. For as far as she could see down the street, every home was tastefully decorated with lights and festive displays. It wasn’t casually done. Great care and effort showed in the glowing candy canes marching up the walk to the front porch of the house on her right. Lit reindeer grazed on one lawn beneath perfectly blue icicle twinklers on the next house. Lights blazed like wonder.

Jonah parked against the curb. “Locals call this street Christmas Lane. It’s even in the sales agreements so the people new to the street have to keep up the tradition.”

“There’s other people looking, too.” Mia pointed out as she unbuckled her seat belt.

“The house at the end of the row collects donations for our church toy drive, so it’s all for a good cause.” Jonah cut the engine and pocketed his keys. “Want to take a walk?”

More than anything. By the time she’d opened her door, Jonah was already there. It felt right, it felt as if every missing piece were in place as she let him help her to the ground. She crunched through the frozen snow to the cleared sidewalks while Mia trailed after her. Crystalline perfect flakes whispered from sky to ground, a soft accent to the view. Upscale, roomy homes sat on wide lots with plenty of trees. It was like a street out of a storybook. She could see why Jonah said he’d always wanted to live here.

She recognized the cadence of Jonah’s gait as he joined her on the sidewalk. Again, peace stirred through her like the breeze through the snow at his nearness. Maybe her heart was trying to tell her something.

“Nice, huh?” he asked.

“Very Christmassy. It’s festive enough to put
me
in the spirit of the season.”

“Excellent.” His smile was slow and true.

His smile captured a little more of her heart.

Debra, Debra, Debra,
she thought,
you’re going to get hurt if you keep this up.
But did that stop her? No. Not from moving a hint closer to him. Not from letting the emotion she’d been holding back into her heart.

“Hey, Mom!” Mia was two houses ahead, pointing at one of the homes. “Look!”

It was a house out of her dreams. A modest brick Tudor was outlined by dripping white lights. Smaller twinkle lights framed a wide front porch and a bay window. The living room was visible behind the window glass and the room looked cozy from the soft glow of the impressive Christmas tree and a fire crackling in a brick fireplace. Debra didn’t mean to be too nosy, but she couldn’t help being drawn by the sight of handcrafted floor-to-ceiling bookcases full of books.

“Oh, that’s the Lansbury’s home.”

The owners of the bookshop. That explained all the books. Did that mean the house would be going up for sale, too?

No, don’t even begin to breathe life into that dream. She had to be sensible, although with Jonah at her side it was nearly impossible.

Another car pulled up to park. She steeled her spine and forced her boots forward down the walkway past the beautiful house to keep up with Mia, who was a few paces ahead studying every festive detail she could see.

Jonah kept pace with her. “What does your family do for Christmas?”

“When my mom was alive, she would make dinner on Christmas Eve for everyone. A formal occasion. We’re talking the best china and silver, candlelight and our best clothes. We’ve tried to keep the tradition since. I’m not the same quality of cook, but my sisters-in-law and I do all right. After dessert, we head over to our church and attend services. Christmas Day is more relaxed with a traditional turkey dinner. How about your family?”

“We are way less formal.” Jonah’s baritone warmed as he spoke of his loved ones. “With my dad being a minister, my folks are as busy as can be this time of year. But ever since I was a little guy, we set aside time after the Christmas Eve service to watch
It’s a Wonderful Life
and eat fudge.”

“One of my favorites.”

“The movie or the fudge?”

“Both.” She liked how he chuckled warmly and how his voice was her favorite sound. The entire world was better when she was at his side. She adored everything about him and as she breathed in the fresh crisp air and felt the kiss of winter on her face, she realized she didn’t just adore him. She loved him.

“Hey, Mom! Come see!” Mia was a house ahead, pointing at one of the front windows. “It’s a nativity scene. I love it.”

“Coming, kid.” Debra tried to focus, tried to act as if nothing monumental had changed, but when Jonah tucked her hand in his much bigger one, it was impossible. As they walked side by side, it felt as if they belonged together. The empty, dark places in her heart filled with pure sweet love as promising as those twinkle lights. Glowing like hope, like wonder, on this cold winter’s night.

Mia led the way up the front steps to the inn. Jonah heard her call out, as if from very far away although she was only a few yards ahead. “I’m freezing! I’m gonna go in!” Debra answered, but her words didn’t register. Her loveliness did.

He couldn’t remember a better afternoon. He couldn’t have had better company. For the first time since he’d come home from Iraq, he felt at ease. Not even worship and prayer had been able to touch him like this.

Mostly, he realized, because he wouldn’t let it.

On the top step, Debra turned to him, her complexion rosy from the cold and, he hoped, from happiness. “You’ve given us such a wonderful day, I think I should return the favor.”

“I like that idea.” He definitely loved the idea of seeing more of her. “What did you have in mind?”

“I have no idea. Maybe I’ll just surprise you.”

“Sounds good.” Jonah cleared the emotion from his throat, but it stuck stubbornly as ice to his boots. “I’ve got a busy week meeting the needs of a very demanding client.”

“Mia.” She tilted a little to the left to glance through the windows flanking the front door to keep her daughter in her sight. “She is pretty excited about the new bedroom set.”

“She seems pretty excited about everything.”

“Where she gets the energy, I’ll never know.” Debra glimmered from happiness, her inner beauty striking him anew.

Jonah cleared his throat and stared hard at the toes of his boots. Today had been nothing more than borrowed time. He knew that. What he couldn’t do was to start to believe he had a chance with her. No matter what he felt, she was nothing more than an undreamed dream.

He knew one thing for certain. He was glad just to be with her. “I know you haven’t got a lot of time left and you’re busy, but drop by the carpentry shop anytime. You will make my day.”

“I notice how you didn’t mention Mia.”

“Hey, now, I didn’t do that on purpose. I meant you, meaning you or both of you. I’m good either way.”

She studied him, her gaze thoughtful. “Not a lot of men would say that about a woman with a teenaged daughter. Wait, I can’t believe I said it like that. I’ve been actually avoiding that word.”

“Teenager?”

“That’s the one. It terrifies me, and not for the reasons you think.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I can see you pretty clearly. You’re terrified because she’s growing up and she’ll be an adult soon. She’s not a little girl anymore.”

“You do understand me. Maybe it’s because she’s my only baby, but I want to treasure these years with her. I look ahead and I start counting the milestones. Mia’s coming out. Getting her driver’s license. Preparing her valedictorian speech from Stanton. Packing her off to Harvard.” Her eyes silvered with emotional tears. “I don’t have anyone else to focus all of my love on, I guess is the real problem. And I have to let go of her, send her off to school, just when I want to hold on a little more tightly to this time left with her.”

“So if that’s how you feel, what’s the deal with this school she’s going to?”

“It was my mother’s wish. And if there is one thing I never want to do, it’s to disappoint Millicent Cunningham Watson ever again, even if she’s no longer on this earth.”

“You don’t think she’d understand?”

“I’m starting to hope that she would have.” She corrected. “You dodge direct questions very nicely.”

“Glad you noticed. I was in reconnaissance, so I’m at my best observing and listening.”

“That’s very annoying, I’ll have you know.”

That cracked him up. He couldn’t help laughing, the sound echoing in the night. He could tell by the way she was smiling at him that she wasn’t annoyed, not at all. Good to know.

“On that note, I’m retreating while the going’s good. Good night, Debra.” He took a step back. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Maybe.” The twinkle in her eyes said differently.

He took one last long look at the picture she made standing in the twinkle of the Christmas lights through the windows. Snow glistened like jewels in her hair and lay like diamonds at her feet. She was what he wanted his future to be, if he had the right to one.

He was alive, when others were not, to walk down the sidewalk and he could feel the burn of icy cold on his face. He was alive to love and work and wish, and the guilt of it drew the laughter from his spirit and the love from his heart. If he could have one prayer answered on this cold winter’s night it would be to change the unchangeable, so that he would be worthy of loving her.

Debra watched Jonah drive away in the worsening storm as she closed the door. Possibilities whispered at the back of her mind, hopes that she was almost able to give voice to.

“He’s nice, isn’t he, Mom?”

Mia. Debra turned to see her daughter collapsed into the chair near the fire. “I don’t believe it, kid. You actually look worn out.”

“I’m bushed.” Mia propped her suede boots on the hearth. “Jonah liked his tree, didn’t he?”

“Absolutely. He said it was the prettiest one he’d had in years.”

“Yeah, but why hasn’t he had a tree before? I get that he goes home to his mom’s and stuff, but we have our tree even though we celebrate Christmas at Grandfather’s house.” Mia watched the fire. “Jonah seems sad a lot.”

“I noticed that, too.” Debra drew an ottoman close and slid onto it.

“I was snooping—I know I wasn’t supposed to—but I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t private or anything, but I happened to notice there was a framed picture facedown on the little table in the corner, the one hidden behind the couch?”

“The couch we moved to accommodate the enormous tree?” Debra nodded. “You shouldn’t have been snooping, kiddo.”

“I said I knew that, but, well, I couldn’t help it. I mean, Jonah had a ton of other pictures on the wall framed for everyone to see. But this one—I thought maybe it had fallen over, at least, that’s what I told myself. It was a picture of a bunch of military guys—and Jonah—with guns.”

“You heard Ben say that Jonah was a marine.”

“Do you think he was in the war?”

“Yes, I do.”

Mia gave that some thought. The fire crackled and a distant clinking and clanging came from the direction of the kitchen. Finally, she spoke again. “Do you think he got hurt? That’s why he limps?”

“Yes.” Jonah had been amused when she’d pointed out how he was far from forthcoming about his problems. He’d been a recon marine, which was Special Forces. She didn’t know much when it came to the military, but she’d read enough to know that. “Now, let’s get upstairs. I think we have just enough time to get in a call to Aunt Lydia before it’s too late.”

Mia uncrossed her ankles and dragged herself upright. “But first, there’s one more thing.”

“Only one more? I know you, cutie, and it’s never just one more thing.”

Mia tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Okay, there’s at least two things. I really liked that Christmas-light street we walked down. I think you should quit your job and I should quit the Stanton School—”

“I see where this is going.”

“—and you could buy the bookstore and a house on that street where we could live happily ever after. You could even get married. I wouldn’t mind a baby sister, you know.”

“I’ve heard something like this before. You have high hopes, don’t you, kid?”

“Yep, ’cause I believe in the power of prayer. You should, too.”

“I almost think I can.”

“Really? My work is almost done.” Mia climbed to her feet. “Hasn’t this been the most incredible trip?”