A Holiday To Remember (6 page)

Debra was in deep conversation with Leah and Ben, holding chubby baby Joseph in her arms. The sight riveted him and it took all his effort to clear the emotion from his throat. He didn’t sound normal at all as he nodded toward Santa. “Give this cup of cocoa to Olivia, would you? Looks like you’re up next, Miss Mia.”

“Ooh!” The girl took the cup and then hurried to whisper her most secret prayer in Santa’s ear.

Jonah’s heart stopped beating when Debra looked up to watch her daughter. Unguarded, motherly love transformed her. He could see right into her heart, right into her goodness and see the real Debra Watson. All love and devotion, down to the soul.

A woman like that was far too good for the likes of him.

A loud noise shot out, a clatter above the other noises in the crowded ballroom. Like gunfire, the sound of a car backfiring on the street shot him ruthlessly back into the past, into a full-out flashback. The scent of fresh pine in the air turned gritty and dank. The lull of the caroler’s “Silver Bells” faded into the pop-pop of distant gunfire and the bright lights to midnight dark. The flare of rockets shattered the night as they streaked like fireworks over the desert sky. His mind was locked in the past, in Iraq. The cries of help of the wounded civilians caught in the war zone and of his fellow marines rang in his ears. The wind was thick with the coppery scent of blood in the air, on his face, on his hands—

“Good evening, everyone!” the mayor’s smooth, politician voice jerked Jonah back into the present.

He swiped the sweat from his forehead. Gulping hard, he swallowed the taste of guilt and death and a past he could not change. He’d gladly give his life if he could, to make right the senseless wrongs of war.

The flashback was over. Had anyone noticed? He looked around. No, all eyes—Debra’s especially—were turned toward the podium where the ceremony was in full swing. Weak from the experience, he spotted an empty folding chair against the wall and collapsed into it. Billy, one of the youth group kids, hit the switch. The Christmas tree burst into color and light. The crowd’s awe and the children’s glee was joyful music that could not drown out his truth.

Jonah fisted his hands. He had no right to that happiness. For a brief moment, he’d forgotten the past. He had started to live, to enjoy himself and to take part in a life he did not deserve. Not when others more deserving hadn’t been so fortunate. He thought of the team members he’d let down. His throat turned to sand, the light drained from the world and he was where he belonged, alone, in grief and shadow.

He climbed to his feet. No one would notice if he bugged out now. He’d meant to say hello to his parents, but he hadn’t been able to locate them in the crowd. To tell the truth, he’d been too busy thinking of Debra.

Halfway to the door, he felt eyes on his back. He looked over his shoulder. Why wasn’t he surprised to see Debra, turned away from the beauty of the Christmas tree, watching with him gentle concern? She arched one slender brow in a silent question.

He did the right thing—the only thing he could do. He managed what he hoped was a grin, held up his hand as a goodbye gesture and walked through the doors and into the cold night. Guilt clawed at him and the frigid wind and icy snow battered him like punishment.

Hours later, when he was in his apartment, dark with shadows, the guilt still had not relented. It remained like a punishment, sharp and renewed.

When he should have been thinking of his failures to his men, he hated that his mind betrayed him. Instead of taking him back to the war in Iraq, his thoughts led him straight to the image of Debra. To the way she’d stood in front of the glistening Christmas tree, so radiant and good, and the soft questioning way she’d looked at him.

Jonah buried his face in his hands and could not find comfort in the cold, dark night.

T
he days that passed had been pleasant ones, Debra reflected as she navigated the SUV along the now-familiar path to Ben’s carpentry shop. All right, they had been
more
than pleasant, if she were going to be wholly honest with herself.

They had spent fun afternoons with Leah and Olivia and baby Joseph baking Christmas cookies, making Christmas-tree ornaments and luminaries. They’d made dinners in Leah’s cozy kitchen and shared family stories over the dinner table. They’d met Ben’s adopted brother, Eli, and his wife, Rachel, and their sweet baby, Madeleine. Debra and Leah even had a few outings to themselves, while Ben watched the kids, to buy Christmas presents and poke through the Main Street shops.

So many wonderful memories she’d saved up during the past four days, but what image was the one that seemed to stick in her head more brightly than all the rest? The sight of Jonah walking away from the tree-lighting celebration that first night they’d been in town. She could still see his shoulders straight and strong and yet his head was down, bowed as if by the weight of the world. She’d felt his sadness as surely as if it had been her own.

He didn’t only intrigue her; he’d drawn her heart to his. She couldn’t say how or why, but the truth was talking with him had come so easily that night. That was something she’d hadn’t encountered in a long time. Not on a personal level, anyway.

The question was, why and what was this? Debra tried to keep her thoughts on traffic but the questions just kept coming. Did Jonah feel the same way? Was he interested in her? How could he possibly be interested in a woman with as much baggage as she had?

She could come up with a hundred reasons why she shouldn’t allow herself to hope, but it winked to life within her anyway like a string of twinkle lights on a tree.

“Mom? Hello? Mo-oom! Your phone is buzzing.
Again.
”

“Would you check the screen and see who it is?”

“Okay, but if it’s your office, it’s Friday afternoon. Af-ter-noon.” Mia emphasized as she dug a hand into the designer hobo. “You’re supposed to be on vacation.”

“Yes, but you know me. Work, work, work.” Debra smiled because she really didn’t mind how hard she worked. But as they cruised past the Christian bookstore, there was something about it that tugged at a long-buried wish. She’d always wanted to own a bookstore from the time she was a little girl. It was the reason why she’d majored in business—so she would be well-equipped to run her own shop. Life hadn’t worked out that way.

It did no good to start wishing for what was impossible now. Wishes were for children, she thought. There was no place in her life for them.

So, why did her thoughts linger on the bookstore and then shift to the carpentry shop and Jonah?

Get a grip, Debra,
she told herself. This was not like her. To make matters worse, she was going to see him in a few moments and how was she going to handle this strange, budding emotion toward him?

Play it cool, that’s how, she thought as she pulled into the carpentry shop’s parking lot. She would be sensible, as always. It was best to wait and see.

“It’s a text message from Uncle Brandon.” Mia bubbled with happiness. “Can I read it?”

“We’ll give him a call when we get back to the bed-and-breakfast, how’s that?”

“Even better!” Mia slid the cell back into place. “Oh, I can’t wait to see Jonah. Don’t you think he’s nice, Mom?”

Nice? No, that word seemed inadequate for the man, although she wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone, not even Mia. “He certainly is nice to make an entire bedroom set for you, and right before Christmas, too.”

“That’s not what I meant, Mom.” She flipped a lock of hair behind her shoulder and gave a look that was both sweet
and
disapproving.

“I know what you meant, kid, and I’m taking the Fifth.” Debra pulled into the first available parking spot. Where did her gaze automatically go to? The window where she had first spotted Jonah. He wasn’t there, but she sighed deep inside as if something in her heart and in her spirit remembered.

Focus, Debra. You’re going to be sensible, right?
She cut the engine. “Keep in mind that Jonah is doing you a favor by fitting your furniture into his schedule.”

“He said he had time.”

“Yes, but a carpenter as talented as he is has to be in demand. Go easy on him. Try to keep it simple, okay?”

“Mo-
om.
” Mia sighed. “I get it. I’m not a little kid, you know.”

“Yes, sweetie. I know. Now, zip your coat before you head out—” the passenger door popped open and Mia was already out in the single-digit windchill “—into the cold.”

Too late. Mia’s door snapped shut and Debra was left alone. Through the icy streaks on the windshield, she saw the reason why Mia had been in such a hurry. The front door was open and there was Jonah, strong and true, looking manly in his long-sleeved shirt and worn jeans.

Debra took her time, gathering her things, making sure she had her keys, bundling up before she stepped out into the elements. And then there was Jonah and suddenly she didn’t notice the cold or the sun in her eyes or the ice beneath her boot treads.

“C’mon, Mom!” Mia hopped down the cleared walkway. “Hurry!”

Jonah’s rich chuckle warmed the air. “I’ve heard it said that beauty never hurries.”

Was he talking about her? Debra didn’t dare read anything into his words—other than the fact that he was good at making compliments. She hitched her purse strap higher on her shoulder as she came closer. “I recognize that line. You read a lot of poetry, do you?”

“I’ve been known to crack a book or two. Comes from my love of the King James version of the Bible.”

“That my favorite, too.” She smiled, liking that about him, but he didn’t meet her gaze.

Instead, he broke away and held wide the door. “Well, Miss Mia, are you enjoying your stay in here in Chestnut Grove?”

“Totally!” Mia practically skipped into the workshop, her scarf and hood bouncing with her gait. “I love it! Uncle Ben is the coolest. And we’ve got a whole new family. It’s awesome. Right, Mom?”

“Right.” Debra passed through the door Jonah held for her and noticed that he didn’t look at her.

“That’s the way I feel about my sister getting married. It was like being given a big box of blessings.” He turned away to close the door after her and shut out the bitter cold.

As she unbuttoned her coat, she realized he was deliberately avoiding her gaze. Disappointment sank like a stone in her heart. She shrugged out of her coat and like the gentleman Jonah was, he was there, helping her out of the garment, which made her like him even more. She couldn’t seem to get a thank-you out of her suddenly tight throat.

“Miss Mia, let me get your coat, too.” He helped the girl out of her fashionable parka.

With, Debra noticed, the same stoic politeness. He was just being polite, that was all.

“Why don’t you two ladies come take a look at what I’ve sketched up?” Jonah led the way to a big drafting table in the corner, talking over his shoulder, all business. “You’ve got a few choices for the design, Miss Mia, and if you’re not happy, you say the word and I’ll draft up something else.”

Debra watched her daughter skip over to the table. Mia’s hair fell forward as she bent to study the drawings, hiding the reaction on her face. But Debra could read her happiness like a joyful song in the air. She ambled closer to the man and girl, feeling awkward, not knowing what to do.

Mia clasped her hands together. “Oh, Jonah! It’s
just
what I wanted.”

“You sure? What about the design? I’ve got other choices, why don’t you take a look?” Jonah moved to raise the wide computer-aided drafted designs to reveal more pages underneath.

“Nope!” Mia, so like her grandmother, always knew exactly what she wanted. “This is perfect. The scrollwork stuff is just right. Mom! You’ve got to come see. Ooh, I’m so totally excited. I can’t wait until it’s done. How long will it take to make all this? How long? Could you be done before Christmas?”

Debra mentally rolled her eyes. There went her daughter again, carried away with her enthusiasm. “What did I just finish saying to you, cutie?”

“Oh, right, I know.” Mia winced. “I knew that, but I just got carried away. Jonah, thank you so much for working me into your schedule. It doesn’t have to be done by Christmas.”

Jonah, Debra noticed, didn’t look at all troubled. He appeared amused as he stepped back from his drafting table. “Well, one thing is for sure. I’m not Santa, so I don’t have a workshop full of elves to help me out.”

“Santa’s not real, but it’s a nice story. My grandmother Millie and I, we used to go shopping for the church toy drive. You know how you can get a bunch of presents that kids want and wrap them up and then they’ll be delivered to the family? That’s what we did every year. It was sooo much fun. It was sort of like the story of the elves, but I always thought we were honoring the wise men.”

“You sound pretty wise to me, Miss Mia.” Kind, infinitely kind, Jonah hunkered down to draw out a wooden box from beneath the table.

The fall of light from the overhead windows revealed the box was full of short lengths of woods in different shades of stain with different finish work, but Debra could not stop noticing the man.

“Let’s go sit down in the front office with these plans and these samples.” Jonah hefted the box. “We’ll finalize all our details and snack on the Christmas cookies Leah and Olivia dropped off this morning.”

“Are they the ones I helped make yesterday?”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.”

Debra watched Jonah and Mia amicably talking as if they’d known each other forever. Something stirred in her heart deep beneath the disappointment and the impossibility. She didn’t know what the emotion was or why she felt it. She only knew that it was a powerful and pure feeling. Somehow she made her feet carry her forward after the hippity-hop of Mia’s gait across the workshop.

As Mia told Jonah of her plans of going to a church activity this evening with her new cousin, Debra did her best not to notice the dependable line of Jonah’s shoulders or the uneven pad of his gait. She hung back. He did not look at her as he brought the plate of cookies to the coffee table between a mismatched couch and chair, which sat in a cozy reception area.

“These
are
the cookies Olivia and I made.” Mia dropped onto the couch, sinking into the comfortable-looking cushions. “I did all my Christmas trees with white frosting, because they had snow on them. Olivia did hers in green. See?”

“I see.” Jonah’s kindly grin died when he saw Debra approaching. He nodded once in acknowledgment and went to the hot-water carafe in the corner, where clean cups and boxes of tea bags were perched on a Christmas themed tabletop.

She clutched her purse more tightly, willing her gaze away from the solid line of his back, which he kept firmly turned toward her. See how he wasn’t interested in her? Whyever had she thought he was? She mentally shook her head. So, she was intrigued by the man, it was nothing more. It couldn’t be. Besides, he clearly didn’t feel intrigued by her. Goodness, what was wrong with her?

She skirted the corner of the coffee table to sit down next to Mia. The plans spread out in front of them were amazing. Such detailed and careful work. The hours it must have taken him to do this. When had he found the time?

“Sorry, we’re out of hot chocolate.” He set a tray on the table beside the cookies. “But we do have a good choice of tea.”

“You do. Thank you.” Debra felt awkward as she forced herself to lean forward to inspect the boxes of tea he’d slid onto the tray beside three bright red mugs. The hot water sent curls of steam into the air. Debra reached for one of the tea boxes. “There’s peppermint, Mia.”

Instead of commenting on her favorite herbal tea, Mia paused for a moment and frowned as she did when she was thinking hard. As if coming to some conclusion she came to life and bounced off the couch cushion. “Jonah, you have to sit over here next to my mom. See? I can sit in the chair!”

Debra coughed once in surprise. The box of tea bags tumbled from her fingers and hit the table. What was Mia up to? It was impossible to read anything but excitement in her merry brown eyes. Her face was one big smile as she slipped around the table and dropped into the chair, blocking Jonah from doing so.

Jonah stood frozen with apparent surprise. “Don’t you want to sit next to your mom?”

“Nope, I do that all the time.” Breezily, Mia grabbed a green-frosted cookie.

Debra felt the shock start to slip away and she could plainly see how uncomfortable Jonah looked as his gaze studied the empty couch cushion beside her—the only other place to sit in the room. He didn’t move any closer toward her. Mia was the one always talking about signs, but Debra had to admit
this
was a sign. Poor Jonah.

She decided to come to his rescue. “Mia, come back next to me. We can look at the wood samples together instead of passing them back and forth.”

“I don’t mind.” Jonah spoke up, although it was hard to tell exactly what he was thinking. He bent to grab a white-frosted cookie before he eased onto the corner of the couch—as far away from her as he could physically get.

Yes, that was a definite sign. The trouble was that she couldn’t help noticing how fine he looked in spite of his obvious behavior. The slate-gray shirt he wore was exactly the right color to bring out the golden strands in his dark eyes.

Not that she should be noticing that. Of course not. Debra scooted over a tad to give him—and herself—more room.

“Let me know what you like, Miss Mia.” Jonah got straight to business by hauling out a length of wood from the box. The girl squinted at it carefully, debating the cherrywood as the carpenter presented her with a sample of red oak.

Debra set a peppermint tea bag in Mia’s cup to steep before she did her own. She bit her bottom lip to keep from asking Jonah about why he had ducked out of the tree-lighting ceremony. Why had a former marine chosen to give up fighting for the greater good for being a carpenter?