A Joyful Break (Dreams of Plain Daughters) (23 page)

“I meant we’d go later to the beach,” he said as they stopped in front of her house.

“I’d love to go with you sometime.”

He grinned. “How about a quick kiss before you go in?”

“It better be quick. I don’t want anyone seeing us kiss.” She chuckled. “You know how nosy my brothers are.”

His lips brushed hers before she quickly left the buggy. She turned at the door to wave good-bye to Samuel. She realized it wasn’t the length of the kiss that was important, but the sweet feeling she felt in her heart from his love.

She saw a light on in the living room and found her
daed
reading
The Budget
. “Does Judith have an article in this issue?”

He shook his head and neatly folded the paper. “No, she doesn’t. Did you enjoy your buggy ride?”

“I did.” She had to ask him why he never mentioned anything about
Mamm
being the one to say no to a phone. Crossing the polished wood floor, Rachel settled herself on a plain brown upholstered couch near to her
daed’s
chair. “Why didn’t you tell me that it was
Mamm
who didn’t want a phone? I thought all the time that it was you that didn’t want us to have a phone in the barn or to have a phone shanty. I learned this recently from Judith that it was
Mamm
who objected.”

He shrugged. “It was too painful to talk about it to you. I should have tried harder to convince your mother that we needed a phone for emergencies. Or I could’ve taken a key for Maddox’s house when they went on vacation so we could get inside to use their phone. Frank wanted to give me a house key. I thought just putting their mail in the breezeway was fine. The main regret I have is not taking your mother to a doctor. He probably would’ve suggested surgery to correct her heart problem. She would still be here with us if I’d been a better husband.”

“We don’t know that,
Daed
. It might not have made any difference. And if she had surgery, she could’ve died on the operating table. It wasn’t your fault she died.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been nice to you. While I was away, I realized how wrong I was to blame you for
Mamm’s
death. She could have arranged to have Mrs. Maddox or someone else drive her to the doctor. I guess we all thought she was tired because of not sleeping well with Grandma and Grandpa Troyer’s deaths. She didn’t say too much about her symptoms. It was easy to blame you, but I’m sorry. I went for early morning walks on the beach when it was quiet and peaceful and I prayed. I forgave you but later I realized I didn’t need to forgive you for anything.”

He squeezed her hand. “After the boys tried to run away, I did a lot of thinking too. I came to the conclusion that I depended on you too much. I should have told you to continue working at the bakery part-time. It’s no wonder you resented me when I left a lot on your shoulders and Judith’s too. I need to spend more time with Matthew and Noah. We never went boating last summer so want to do that as soon as the weather’s warm enough.”

“Do you think you’ll have time?” She grinned. “I heard Bishop Amos wants you to court his sister.”

He smiled back. “I might run away when she comes to Ohio.” His expression became serious. “No one can take your
mamm’s
place. I’m not interested in remarrying. Maybe in time I will but it’s doubtful. I miss her all the time but it was God’s will to take her. I’m thankful I still have my
kinner
. You look a lot like your
mamm
did at your age.”

“I hope I’ll be a good wife and mother someday like she was.”

“You seem happier. Getting away for a week must have agreed with you. Did you get to experience enough of the English world? You weren’t gone long.”

She nodded. “I watched movies and television with Violet. Before we left Kentucky, I drove Violet’s car on the side streets in their subdivision. I wore English clothes a few times while we were at the beach, but I felt weird not wearing my Plain clothing.” She thought for a minute, trying to remember what else she did. “I think that’s it except I did get on Violet’s laptop a few times.”

“Sounds like you did a lot in a short time.” He leaned forward in his chair. “I’m glad you’re home. The house wasn’t the same without you.”

“I missed you and everyone too.” She felt relief apologizing to her
daed
for her past behavior. She noticed a few more wrinkles on his face and his hair looked grayer. This past year had been rough on the whole family.
I should tell Daed about my decision to become baptized.
“I’m going to talk to Bishop Amos tomorrow about taking instructions to join the church.”

“That’s
wunderbaar
, Rachel.”

“I like how Amish parents allow their children to make their own decisions when to get baptized and whether to accept the Plain life. You and
Mamm
taught us well why you chose the Amish life but didn’t shelter us from the non-Amish world. You took us out of our community to Wal-Mart and other English stores. We were exposed to all kinds of things in the outside world, but because of you and
Mamm’s
solid convictions in being Amish, I’m ready to make a commitment to join the church.”

“Your decision makes me
froh
. The most important thing is that I can tell it makes you happy too.”

“I know why I love Samuel. He reminds me of you,
Daed
.”

Aunt Carrie stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Matthew and Noah are waiting for you. I told them about growing up with Irene and what kind of games we played. They want to see you before they fall asleep. They certainly love their big sister.”

“
Danki
. I better go. I promised to tuck them in tonight.”

While climbing the stairs to the boys’ room, she thought how in less than a year, Samuel might be living in their house as her husband. Of course, they could finish their new house in time for them to move to right after their wedding, but she liked Samuel’s suggestion to stay with her
daed
and her siblings at first. It’d be easier to help take care of her brothers if she wasn’t in a separate house. Even if
Daed
changed his mind about remarrying, it wasn’t going to happen soon. He definitely wasn’t interested in anyone yet. Her family still needed her around.

“Hey, boys.” She saw them both propped up in their bed with shiny clean faces.

“
Danki
, for our dolphin books and seashells.” Matthew said.

“I’m glad you like my gifts.” Matthew and Noah each had a book opened that she bought for them in Florida. She sat on the edge of the bed. “So did Aunt Carrie show you the pictures we took of the dolphins?”

Noah nodded. “They’re great pictures. Could you hear the dolphins make any noises?”

“When they came above the water, I heard a few squeaking noises.”

“I hope we hear them when we go to Outer Banks.”

Matthew added, “I hope we actually see them too. You’re lucky, Rachel. I can’t wait until we go to the beach. I want to pick up seashells like you did.”

“Well, just think I didn’t go to the beach until I was almost twenty-one years old. If it works out and you go this summer, you’ll only be eleven.” She smiled. “You two are lucky. The beach is
wunderbaar
but I’m happy to be home.”

Noah, looking concerned, said, “I wonder if
Mamm
ever got to go to the ocean when she was our age.”

“I don’t think so because she never said anything about going to the seashore to me.” Rachel thought for a moment. “And I’m sure she never went as an adult. Aunt Carrie and Uncle Scott bought their beach house in North Carolina around three or four years ago. If Aunt Carrie asked her to the beach,
Mamm
must have said no.
Mamm
never mentioned wanting to see the ocean. But she seemed the happiest when she was here at home.”

Matthew grinned. “She liked to go to Target and Wal-Mart. She bought us candy bars sometimes.”

“Maybe we can go in July and be at the ocean on our birthday.” Noah closed his book. “Rachel, do you think that’s possible?”

“
Ya
, I like that idea but it depends when it’s a good time for
Daed
and Aunt Carrie and Uncle Scott. Don’t forget
Daed
wants to go boating too. I suggest you two do your chores and listen to
Daed
and behave in school. You don’t want to miss out on any of the fun this summer.”

She hoped
Daed
would be able to go boating and relax some on Sundays. He worked hard as a farmer. He got up early to feed the animals, milk the cows and process the milk for delivery to the local dairy. Then he joined them for prayer and breakfast. Depending on the season, her
daed
worked in the fields, got the fields ready for planting in late winter, planted the crops in the spring or harvested the crops in late summer or sometimes fall. He usually worked from sunup to sunset in the fields for planting and harvesting with only a break for lunch. In the evening, he milked the cows again.

Matthew exhaled a deep breath. “I’m happy we have the beach and boating to look forward to, but I wish
Mamm
would be alive to go with us.”

“Me too. I miss
Mamm
.” Noah looked like he was ready to cry.

“Noah and I like it when we’re in school because we can pretend
Mamm
is alive and busy in the kitchen.”

Showing them the picture of
Mamm
which Aunt Carrie had given her was tempting… but that would be a poor substitute and probably wouldn’t help at this point. “It’s hard, I know. We are fortunate that we can share our feelings with each other. Adam’s friend, Nick, recently lost his mother−”

“Did she have a heart attack too?” Noah asked.

She shook her head. “She died in a car accident. Nick doesn’t have any brothers or sisters but we have each other.
Mamm
would want us to enjoy being with each other.”

“Rachel, I’m glad you’re home. I love you.” Noah reached to grasp her hand, giving it a squeeze.

“
Ya
. The house was too lonely without you and
Mamm
.”

“I love you both too.” Her throat felt thick and her eyes filled with tears. “You know who
Mamm’s
very best friend was?”

Noah thought for a minute. “Mrs. Maddox.”

She shook her head. “Matthew, do you know?”

“It must be Samuel’s
Mamm
.”

“You’re wrong too, Matthew, but good answers. It’s true
Mamm
loved her women friends. But she told me that her very best friend was Jesus. It says in the Bible that we can have contentment whatever the circumstances when we stay close to Jesus. Whenever you miss
Mamm
, pray to Jesus like she did every day. I know she misses all of us but I believe with my whole heart that she’s happy to be with her best friend. Of course, you can still talk to me,
Daed
, Judith and Peter.”

Matthew yawned while Noah said, “
Danki
, Rachel.”

“You’re welcome. Say your prayers now and get some sleep.”

I’m glad Samuel understands how the twins need me to be in their lives on a daily basis yet. I want to marry him in the fall but maybe we should wait another year.

Chapter Twenty

“My heart feels light now, Aunt Carrie.” Rachel glanced at her
aenti
, driving. They were going to Weaver’s Bakery to eat lunch and to celebrate. Bishop Amos had said Rachel could start her instructions to join the church. It was such a huge relief to be able to move on with her life and to continue her growth as a Christian.

“I’m glad I heard your good news in person before I go home.”

She wanted to get her aunt’s input about her
daed
remarrying. The bishop had surprised her with his comments that she should encourage her father to remarry. Bishop Amos mentioned that his sister Barbara would be the ideal wife for her
daed
. The bishop felt strongly her
daed
should spend time soon with Barbara, so both could see if they suit each other enough to marry. “Bishop Amos seemed happy to see me, but I don’t think it was all due to the fact I want to join the church. He was eager to talk to me about
Daed’s
future wife. He told me that it was time for
Daed
to marry again.”

Aunt Carrie frowned. “I don’t think David’s ready to even think about remarrying. He loved Irene deeply. It has to be hard after living with someone for a lot of years to consider getting married for a second time. I can’t imagine myself falling in love again if something should happen to Scott. But life’s so fragile and we don’t know what God has planned for us.”

While in Cocoa Beach, she’d overheard her uncle talk on the phone about running for president in the future. “Do you think Uncle Scott will run for president someday?”

“I hope he doesn’t. He feels the stress enough from being a senator. He even mentioned getting out of politics, but the party wants him to consider seeking the nomination for president in the future.” Aunt Carrie stopped at a red traffic light in Fields Corner. “I never dreamed we’d be in the public eye when we married. I thought we’d live a fairly quiet life. I knew it wouldn’t be anything like an Amish lifestyle, but I never expected to have a husband in politics.”

Once again she thought how her
aenti
never wore pants or the popular jeans like other English women wore. Today Aunt Carrie wore a black skirt and a long sleeved white blouse with a black cardigan. “If you’d known in the beginning that Uncle Scott wanted a political career, would you have made a different decision about getting married?”

“I honestly don’t know. It might have scared me enough to back off for a time, but in the end, I think I would’ve still married him. It definitely hasn’t been easy leaving the Amish community, but if I had married an Amish man I wouldn’t have Adam and Violet.”