A Kiss At Christmastide: Regency Novella (7 page)

He released a sigh, and Pippa could have sworn he muttered the word “pity.”

Again, she would not bite.

“What are you doing?” He took the final two steps into the entry and surveyed her pile of gifts. “It looks as if you have been busy since we parted last night.”

Another reference to the previous night—and their kiss. “I am preparing to depart for the village to deliver gifts.” Her words were safe enough, and they left her mouth without a hitch, even though she felt her skin warming the closer he came to her. “There is nothing stopping me now, and I have much to attend to.”

“Ah, yes,” he said. He picked up a package wrapped with a green bow. “For the children. A bleeding heart.”

He'd retreated to the demeanor from his arrival—cold and removed.

No longer was he the man who'd helped her in the kitchens or given her the gift of a kiss.

“A bleeding heart?” she asked.

“Certainly,” he confirmed what she'd thought she'd heard him say. “You will put your safety in jeopardy for others. The storm has moved inland, but that does not mean it will stay there for long.”

She knew he spoke the truth of the matter for it was common for storms to pass with another close behind. “For now, the weather is clear enough, my lord.”

“Lucas.”

By morning light, Pippa did not feel comfortable addressing him by his given name. It was a shame, but she felt the connection they'd shared the day before was gone. He was an earl, a wealthy man, and needed to continue on to Lady Natalie's. It was where he belonged. While Pippa, she belonged here or in the village.

“Anyways, Lucas,” Pippa continued, unfazed—or at least unwilling to show him how he affected her. “I will bid you farewell. You will likely arrive at your destination long before I return from the village.”

“More's the pity.” There it was again, his words begging her to comment. “Do you need assistance?” He looked around as if expecting a footman to appear.

“The carriage is being brought round, but thank you.”

He placed the gift he'd picked up back on the stack and turned his intense stare to her. “I have had a fascinating two days, Lady Pippa. I thank you for not banishing me to the stables for shelter.”

Pippa chuckled, knowing she'd been tempted by his dour mood that first night to do just that. “And I thank you for helping in the kitchen last night.” She purposefully didn't mention what had happened after their time in the kitchen.

“It was an experience completely new to me.”

“Not completely new, may I remind you.” Pippa was happy he was willing to let slide their kiss. “You were quite accomplished with the pie crusts.”

“Ah, yes, very true,” he said, tapping his finger against his chin. “It had slipped my mind...as there were more memorable moments.”

She'd counted her blessings too soon it would seem. Of course, she would not want to forget their kiss. But surely, Lucas had kissed many, many, many women and would not allow their kiss to take up so much space in his thoughts. But maybe, just maybe, he was similarly affected by their intimate moment.

The front door opened to reveal her waiting carriage—Lucas's horse saddled nearby.

“You will continue on horseback?” she asked, a bit downcast knowing he'd already made plans to depart.

He looked out the open door as the footman collected Pippa's gifts to load in her carriage. “Yes, I fear my carriage is suitably stuck in the muck on the main road. But as you've said, the storm has moved to the horizon and the time has come for me to be on my way. Your hospitality, though lacking at first, was remedied and greatly appreciated, my lady.”

“I do appreciate you overlooking my abysmal manners.” Pippa wanted to thank him, but could not find the adequate words to express exactly what she was thankful for—his presence while she'd been alone, his help in the kitchen, or his part in showing her that passion existed for her. “Please, give Lady Natalie and her family my kindest regards.”

He gazed once more out the open door and then back to her, his eyes taking her in from head to toe. “It is likely to be very cold outside, and the temperatures are dropping rapidly, please wear sufficient protection against the elements.”

It was a glimpse of the Lucas she'd met the previous night, and she adored that side of him. It was something he was very uncomfortable with showing people, as was evident from his stance and knitted brow.

“I certainly will.” At his dubious look, she continued, “There are many warm blankets in my carriage, and my coat with fur is just over there.” Pippa nodded to her coat, hanging close to the door.

“Can I not talk you into accompanying me to the Sheridans?”

“I am afraid not, my lord.” She'd escaped telling him the details of her falling-out with Natalie, and she wanted to keep it that way. If Natalie chose to tell others, that was her right. But never would Pippa speak ill of a friend, no matter how hurt and abandoned she felt. “I will await my parents' arrival.”

It was an excuse—and he saw right through it, but thankfully, he did not press her.

Even her parents likely expected her to journey to Lady Natalie's party and would not be concerned if they arrived to a note to that effect.

Still, they lingered…

Pippa was not ready to walk out the door and possibly never see him again.

Yet, she was unsure of his reason for remaining. The roads were clear, and a new distraction awaited him only a mile down the road.

She'd met men like him before, always departing for another adventure before the one before had concluded. The allure of something new and exciting was something Pippa could understand, just not something she always
needed
for herself.

People got hurt when one lived that way—thankfully, she had no attachment to Lucas. He could leave, and she would go on as she always had.

If that were true, why was an empty hole forming in her middle? A sinking feeling that things would not, in fact, return to normal after his departure, but rather that a void would be left…emptiness not easily filled.

“It has been enjoyable, my lord.”

“For me as well, my lady.” With a small bow, Lucas turned a rakish grin in her direction, sending her heart fluttering. “Farewell, until we meet again.”

And, as unexpectedly as he'd arrived in her life, Lucas, the Earl of Maddox, disappeared.

He sauntered out the door without so much as a glance over his shoulder. However, he only made it a few feet before freezing in his tracks, his shoulders straightening as tension took over his entire body.

E
very inch
of Lucas's body was on high alert, taut and expectant, as he stared at the group who stood in Pippa's drive. His parents, the Marquis and Marchioness of Bowmont were flanked by the Duke and Duchess of Sheridan, a young blonde woman at their side. Behind them, another carriage, the trunk loaded high with traveling luggage, stopped, and an elder couple disembarked to join the growing party.

Lucas hadn't arrived in a timely manner, so it appeared the party had gone in search of him—how would they know to find him here?

“Good day, Father.” Lucas nodded in his father's direction as the man brought his monocle to his eye to assure him that it was, indeed, his wayward rakehell of a son. “And to you, Mother.” He bowed to his mother, who stared down her nose at her remaining son, disappointment written on her face. It was the exact look he'd run from all these years—and it had the same effect on him now as it had when he was just a boy who'd lost his younger brother, his best friend.

The stately pair had aged since he'd seen them last, the edges of his father's neatly trimmed hair had greyed, and his mother did not stand nearly as tall as he remembered. Had it been the loss of not only one son, but two, that made the couple appear a decade older than they should? However, they were still the aloof and unaffected couple they'd been following Randolph's passing. Lucas was not worthy to be in their presence, and their expressions conveyed their distaste to all who were watching.

“Maddox,” his father said gruffly. “We worried you'd come to harm—possibly been set upon by highwaymen.”

“I'm sorry for your misfortune, Father,” Lucas retorted, careful to keep his tone even and distant—after his father called him by his title, not his given name. “My carriage became stranded on the main road, and I sought shelter at Helton House until I could continue on.”

“You were scheduled to arrive at the holiday party a full day before the storm hit.”

“Yes, well, I found I had pressing matters to attend to, which delayed my departure from London by a day.” He didn't owe them any explanation, though he felt compelled to give one with all the eyes on him.

“Lucas,” Pippa called. He glanced over his shoulder, willing her to shut the door and forget about him before anyone set eyes on her. It was not to be. She walked out the open door and stood beside him, her smile infectious. “Mother, Father, you have arrived. I was so worried!”

She was down the front steps and before her parents within an instant as they hugged and more greetings were shared.

Not far from the trio, his parents, the duke, and duchess, and Lady Natalie—it could be no other—stood, stock-still, watching the overly affectionate family with disgust. Even his father's lip curled slightly at the open display of love before them.

“Lady Pippa is found in another compromising situation—alone with a gentleman for what…two full days?” the blonde woman whispered loud enough for all to hear. “Even after fleeing London, scandal finds her in the country.”

“I am more concerned with the man,” the Duke of Sheridan said. “Carrying on thusly—very bad for my family name, my daughter, and my business.”

“This does complicate things greatly,” the marchioness confirmed. “Delward, what do you propose is to happen?”

“There is nothing compromising or concerning about any of this,” Lucas stated loudly, yet no one present acknowledged that he was even there for this exchange of words that greatly affected his current situation—and his future.

Lucas's father dropped his eyepiece and shook his head. The strikes against Lucas continued to mount.

“They are still properly betrothed,” Lucas's father chimed in. “The paperwork is drafted and signed by all who matter. The banns are to be read in a few weeks' time. I suppose our agreed upon dowry settlement could be adjusted to compensate for our son's lack of decorum.”

“I am not—” he started to deny again.

“Betrothed?” Pippa asked. Her faced drained of all color as she looked between Lucas, his father, and Lady Natalie—the girl's smirk irritating Lucas greatly. “Is that true?”

Lucas shook his head, his posture longing to deny the accusation, yet he would not verbally lie to Pippa. He'd known the reasoning behind his invitation to Lady Natalie's country estate. His parents had found a suitable match for their scoundrel of a son—and, misguidedly, Lucas had contemplated the notion of reconciliation between him and his parents. He would never admit that aloud either, but there it was, true to his core.

They did not want to know their surviving son. They had no intention of allowing him to be a part of their lives. No matter how earnestly Lucas had wanted that outcome.

No, they were calling in their dues. Lucas was responsible for the death of his young brother, and his parents meant to have their retribution for that tragedy. But no amount of repentance would raise his level in their estimation.

In a few years, they would demand something more of him, and more, and more, until Lucas did not recognize his life.

“Pippa, I—”

“You owe me no explanation,” she choked out, failing to hide her pain over his deception. “I am only sad you did not feel you could be truthful with me.”

“If I could go back…” Lucas let his words trail off, unsure how to complete his thought.

Up until the previous night, he'd been more than willing to give in to his parents' demands—marry a girl he'd never met, gain his father yet another business ally, and continue on as he always had, his new wife set up in a procured townhouse and forgotten until the time came he inherited his father's vast estate and the married pair moved into the Bowmont townhouse.

“There is no need for all of that,” Pippa slashed her hand through the air, signaling it was time for him to stay silent—allowing her to depart with her pride intact.

Everyone present stared at him. Pippa with tears in her eyes. Her parents showed concern for their daughter's well-being, and the rest held their breaths for him to deny ruining Lady Pippa.

For a brief moment, Lucas thought to confirm their suspicions and detangle himself from any attachment to Lady Natalie—but that would mean tarnishing Pippa's future, and likely, call for her father to demand Lucas wed Pippa immediately.

He could not do such a thing to Pippa—he'd come to care for her, and saddling her with a rakehell for a husband was not a fate he'd ever wish upon her, even though he longed to make her his.

“Lady Pippa—” Lucas needed to do the right thing…to be noble and ignore what the people might think of him because his concern for her and her future far outweighed others' opinions of him. He'd never sought to ruin her, even if he could never have her for himself. “I'm here despite Pippa's best efforts to get rid of me, though the storm did not allow it. She was forced to house my servants and me, and that should not result in any wrong impressions being attached to her person.”

His words once again fell on deaf ears. Not a single person registered his defense of Lady Pippa, he wondered if they even noticed him slip and address her by her given name. He was a rake, a scoundrel, but never should his reputation result in her ruination.

“Let us go inside. I wish you all a merry Christmastide celebration.” Pippa lifted her gaze, keeping her head high as she took hold of her mother's arm and started toward Lucas. He hoped she'd stop, say something to him, invite him to meet her parents. However, the trio walked right past him without acknowledging his presence.

The door shut soundly behind them with a solid thud.

“Come, boy,” his father called, motioning Lucas to his side. “We have much to discuss and settle upon before anyone can enjoy the coming announcement.”

Nothing about Christmastide. Not a word of spending their first holiday together in many years. Lucas almost felt ridiculous for the tiny gift he'd purchased for his mother before leaving London—a heart-shaped brooch.

It had been a silly, impulsive purchase by a man who remembered the boy who'd adored his parents.

Lucas hadn't demanded their respect, nor asked for their love then—and he certainly did not want it now.

Glancing over his shoulder, Lucas looked to the tightly closed door to Helton House.

Pippa was upset and hurt. She had every right to feel that way. He'd been misleading her since his arrival and had never thought she'd find out about his parents' plans for him, or figure he'd care if she did.

But he cared. An emotion he'd felt long dead with Randolph.

…his own bleeding heart surfaced.

As his mother was more than willing to admit, Lucas did not deserve anything worth having in life. His misdeeds were too debilitating.

Pippa would surely find happiness and a future if Lucas were not a part of her life. He knew he'd be required to marry Lady Natalie to make certain word did not spread of their association, as innocent as it had been. Which was extremely innocent compared to Lucas's past transgressions.

With Lady Natalie as his wife, her family would all be required to keep this scandal from spreading. No parent wants to see their daughter's betrothed connected to the ruination of a young woman.

His father had been correct in this one thing: it would be bad for business and all of their family names.

Lucas didn't care about his father's business or his family name. He only cared that Pippa stayed above reproach and away from any hint of scandal.

The time had finally come for Lucas to sacrifice himself, pay his dues for all that'd happened in his past—there were far worse things than being tied to a woman you did not love.

Giving up a woman you
could
love was certainly one of those things.