A Lady of High Regard (21 page)

Mia realized at once that her gloved hands were clenched in fists. “Oh, bother.”

She walked back to where Mercy was packing the remains of the picnic. “I’m going to have the driver take us home before the dance,” she told Mia as she glanced up.

“I’d like to go with you.”

Mercy’s eyes widened. “You aren’t staying for the dance? I’m sure Garrett presumed you would. He talked about seeing you home safely. I was even to send the carriage back for you.”

“I’m tired and besides, you could use the help.” She picked up the picnic basket. “I can help you with the girls. After all, that’s what we presumed I would do since Nanny Goodman is on her holiday to see family. I am happy to fill in.”

“Can’t we stay, Mama?” Bliss begged. “I want to watch the dancers.”

“It will be much too late,” Mercy replied. “There will be time enough for you to dance when you’re older.”

Agnes frowned. “We always have to go before the party is over.”

Mercy laughed and gathered the baby. “But didn’t we have a grand time? You got to fly your kite and have a picnic. You listened to the band and saw the jugglers. It’s been a wonderful day. You even had ice cream.”

“I wish Father could have come,” Agnes said with a sigh.

Mercy sobered. “I do too, but now we must go home and check on him. You wouldn’t want him to spend all day alone, would you?”

The girls reluctantly agreed that they should return to see their father. “Come along, girls,” Mia said with a smile. “I’ll read to you tonight. Whatever stories you pick, we’ll read them all.”

“I should get word to Garrett that you’re accompanying me home,” Mercy said, glancing around. “Do you see someone who might take a message?”

Mia looked around and spied Mervin Huxford. He appeared to be searching the crowds—probably for Josephine. “I see someone. Wait here and I’ll let him know what to tell Garrett.”

Mia hurried to explain the situation to Mr. Huxford, who readily agreed to take the message to Garrett. He asked if Mia had seen Josephine, and Mia was happy to be able to say she had not.
Poor Josephine,
she thought as the man waddled off to seek out Garrett. With that she quickly dismissed herself and returned to Mercy, who was now ready to leave. Lenore was fussy and tired of the day.

The carriage ride home was pleasant. The summer sun seemed less intense now that evening was upon them. Mercy sat with the baby and Agnes, while Bliss had chosen to sit on Mia’s side of the carriage.

“Mia, you seem troubled. Is there anything I might help with?”

She looked up rather surprised. She had thought she was doing a good job of concealing her feelings. “I’m sorry if I’ve given you reason to worry.”

“It’s not that. You just seem unhappy.”

Mia explained having to resign her position at
Godey’s
and of her concern for the plight of the women she’d met. “I feel confused more than anything,” she admitted. “I’m not sure what God expects of me. I worry about what I can do to aid the cause of those poor women, but at the same time, I realize I cannot do them any good at all if I put myself in harm’s way.”

“That is true enough. I’m sure you also miss your parents.”

Mia nodded. “I do. Especially my father, even if he has pestered me of late to settle down and marry.”

“Is that such a bad idea? You are a beautiful young woman. You should find love and happiness.”

“I had rather hoped it would find me,” Mia teased.

“And is there someone you care for? Someone who has captured your heart?”

Mia thought for a moment. She wondered if she might tell Mercy of her feelings for Garrett. What would his stepmother say if she knew the truth? Would it only cause her to worry about the living arrangements they’d all agreed to?

“There is someone.”

Mercy laughed. “There always is.”

Mia waved her off. “He doesn’t know I’m alive.”

“I seriously doubt that. I’ve seen the reaction of men when you enter a room.”

Mia stared at her oddly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I didn’t presume you did. It’s generally the women who aren’t looking to impress men who impress them the most. Men notice your confidence and contentment. But tell me more about this man—the one who’s captured your heart.”

Mia laughed rather nervously. “I don’t know that he’s captured my heart. He has attracted my attention, and I do find him a wonderful companion. Still, I don’t understand some of my feelings. One minute I feel confident that he might well be the man for me, and the next I’m certain it could never work. When I see him with other women, I’m both jealous and relieved. It makes no sense. I find it completely confusing.”

It was Mercy’s turn to laugh. “It sounds like love to me. I remember when I first fell in love with George. He was sweet and gentle—so attentive. Perhaps too much so, for he made me most uncomfortable at times. As you said, there were moments when I found myself almost suggesting he take interest in someone else. I was terrified.”

“Of what?” Mia asked, desperate to know the answer.

“I think mostly of myself.” Mercy shook her head. “I suppose that makes absolutely no sense, but you see, this was my first love. I had never truly planned to marry. It seemed that love had passed me by so many times that I decided in my heart of hearts that such things were not to be. Then George came into my life with his broken heart. It seemed so sad that he should suffer so deeply at his wife’s passing. I kept him company at first just to ease that sorrow. I didn’t want him to have to be alone.”

“Garrett has often spoken of how you gave his father a will to go on. He thinks quite highly of you.”

“Garrett is a dear. I worried that he would resent my place in his father’s life, but he knew I had no desire to replace his mother or see her memory driven from the house. He knew my heart was to care for his father—to love him. Garrett once told me that he knew my love was most sincere for he could easily see that his father took far more than he gave. However, Garrett couldn’t know that I felt just the opposite. George has always made me feel completely loved and cared for, and frankly, for a woman who had figured herself beyond such things, I cannot tell you how much I value his love.” Tears came to her eyes, but she quickly dabbed them away.

Mia knew she wouldn’t want to upset the girls, so she thought to change the subject. “You were so kind to let me stay with you. I felt so hopelessly trapped. I don’t believe my father would ever force me into an unwanted marriage, but I do feel certain he would have had me court that man through our summer in England. I would not have borne it well.”

“I cannot abide arranged marriages, although I have known some to work out quite well,” Mercy admitted. “I believe a man and woman should have the opportunity to discover for themselves whether marriage is of interest. As with your situation, Mia, if there is someone whom you believe worthy of your love, then perhaps you should make yourself known.”

“Just tell him how I feel?”

“Why not?

“Rejection, for one,” she said with a nervous laugh. “No one wants to have love thrown back in their face. I would hate to appear completely naïve—foolish.” She also feared losing the friendship she enjoyed with Garrett. Should he not feel the same way, Mia knew it would forever damage their relationship.

“Well, there are ways to test his feelings for you. You could do that without fear of making a fool of yourself.”

“I have thought of that. I thought to test my own feelings as well. If they’re real, then I’ll know it. If they are a passing fancy, then that too should be evident.” She sighed. “I only hope the truth reveals itself quickly. I fear I shan’t bear this turmoil for long.”

CHAPTER 16

“
U
rgent we speak,”
Mia read from a letter that had been delivered by Ruth that morning.
“Please come to my office by one tomorrow.”
She checked the date at the top of the letter: July 28. The missive had come quite late the evening before, and only after opening it did Mia realize it was from Sarah Hale.

“I’ve no desire to put you in a delicate position,”
the letter continued,
“but find myself in need of help that perhaps only you can lend.”

Mia tucked the letter away. Of course she would go to Mrs. Hale. She couldn’t just ignore the letter—after all, there was no way of telling what the problem truly was without talking to the woman. Surely no one would fault her for that. She hadn’t resigned from their friendship.

Still the challenge would be how to get away without raising suspicions. If anyone saw her going into the 323 Chestnut address, they would undoubtedly mention it to her parents or, in their absence, the Wilsons. It would give her unneeded attention—and may even cause Garrett to watch her more closely than he already did.

Mia knew her last encounter in the dock district had been a very close call. Had Mrs. Smith not run those men off, Mia might have suffered a great deal. Still, God had watched over her with tender care.

“I needn’t fear,” she said aloud. She remembered Hebrews thirteen verse six:
So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

The words comforted her. Surely the Lord would bless her, despite the fact that she was doing something that wouldn’t meet with her father or mother’s approval.

But it’s not like they forbade me to do this,
she argued to herself as she secured her coat.
Father didn’t ask me to quit helping those women; he asked me not to remain employed by the magazine.

Mia pulled on her gloves, realizing she wasn’t being honest. Her father would not approve of her placing her life in danger. But Mia pushed aside her guilt.
Those women need someone to care about their plight. I cannot turn away out of fear. Does that not make it a noble cause worthy of my concern?

It was a pity the summons could not have come last week, when Garrett was in Boston. Garrett had returned two days earlier with something troubling him that he refused to speak about. No doubt the growing sadness of the household as George weakened and spent more and more time in bed had not helped his mood. Mia thought their close friendship might allow Garrett to unburden his heart, but when she had attempted to force the issue the night before, Garrett had actually walked out on her. She sighed. That matter would have to wait.

Mia slipped downstairs and checked the various rooms for some sign of the family. Seeing no one, however, she opened the heavy oak front door, relieved she could leave the house unnoticed.

She walked casually to her own home, hoping she might look to be doing nothing more than checking on the household staff. Once inside the house, however, she gave nominal greetings to Ruth and Mrs. McGuire before hurrying to the carriage house.

She quickly motioned to Jason. “Where’s Mr. Ferguson?”

“He’s gone to get the landau repaired.”

“Good. Bring me the buggy. I need to go to town.”

“Shall I drive you?” he asked, seeming to already know the answer.

“No. I won’t be going far.” She smiled reassuringly. “I wrote to Mother and Father about your plans to marry Ruth. I know they will write back with a very positive response. I know they think highly of you both.”

Jason seemed to forget the inappropriateness of Mia’s request for the buggy. “I’m glad to hear it, Miss Mia. I would hate to lose my position.”

“You certainly won’t lose it over something as wonderful as love,” she teased. “Now please hurry. I want to be back well before tea.” If she wasn’t there to take tea with Mercy, no doubt questions would be asked.

He did as she instructed, and before long Mia was on her way. Twenty minutes later, Mia sat across from the lady editor and listened with a heavy heart to the grave situation.

“There’s to be a rally at three to discuss poor wages and the unacceptable conditions that women face in the local factories,” Sarah Hale said. “I need you to be there—perhaps dressed as one of the laborers.”

“But why me?”

“I do apologize, but the other person I had in mind for the task has fallen ill. Besides, you have a way with people. You’ll be able to get them to talk to you, and I want information. I want these women to speak their minds and know they won’t be condemned for doing so. Then I want you to put it all together for me. I’ll happily pay you, but I cannot entrust this to anyone else. If I weren’t on the platform speaking, I’d try it myself.”

“Very well. I have some old clothes at the church. I can change there and then head over to the rally.”

“Try to get there as soon as possible. People will already be starting to gather. Some have called for a walkout from their jobs. Tempers will no doubt flare.”

“I understand.” Mia got to her feet. “I’ll do what I can, but I cannot accept pay. I no longer work here and cannot risk having someone think I do.”

Mia left the office in a hurry. She maneuvered the buggy around and headed to the church, her mind overrun with a combination of guilt and frustration. She honestly didn’t want any other cause to interfere with the one she’d already taken on. The plight of the seamen’s wives was more than enough. If she took on another problem her focus would be divided and neither one would benefit. Yet if she refused Mrs. Hale . . . Well, there simply was no refusing Mrs. Hale.