A Laird for All Time (27 page)

“Perhaps.”  Ian rubbed his chin.  “It could be just the opposite though.  Or per
haps there was ne’er a marriage at all if it wisnae consummated.  I’ll need to see our solicitor then.  I dinnae want my sons to be considered bastards.”

A cry of despair escaped Dory’s lips, bu
t Ian gave her no pity.  “If ye had come back and told the truth ye could ha’ saved Connor a decade of pain.  It might be fair punishment for ye to have our sons be illegitimate.”

“Will you forgive me, Ian?” she begged.  “I was just a girl!  I didn’t know what to do!”

“But ye became a woman who should have known better.  Ye had all this time to make it right but chose nae to.”  Ian’s eyes flashed with anger and betrayal.  “I dinnae know, Dory.  I dinnae know if I can forgi’, but I hope for the sake of our sons that our marriage is legal.  I will leave for Inverary to meet with our solicitor.”  He looked as if might approach Dory but turned away resolutely, turning back as he reached the door.  “And it is nnae just my forgiveness ye must receive, Dory.  Ye must beg it of my brother as well.  Ye ha’ to make it right.”

“Ian!” she cried out, but he left the room.  “Emmy, what am I to do?”

“Apologize and pray for a second chance, I guess.”  Emmy glanced worriedly at the door.  “I must see Connor, Dory.  Think about it.  Put yourself in his shoes and try to think about what is best for someone else this time.”

Emmy found Connor in his study already half way through a bottle of whisky.  As she watched, he guzzled another glassful and grimaced.  “I would slow down there, big guy.  I am all out of aspirin to cut the after-effects.”

“Go away,” he ordered.

“Nope, I’m not going to do that.”  She strolled over to the desk and turned him in the desk chair until she could face him.  Kneeling before him, she rested her forearms on his thighs and stared up at him.  “Alcohol is not the answer, Connor.  Dory was wrong to keep this from you for so long.”

He snorted rudely and downed the remaining contents of the glass.

“Okay, she was
incredibly
wrong to keep it from you,” Emmy emphasized.  “She was young and stupid at the beginning but ten years of nursing the lie was awful and she knows it.  I think she thought she was just trying to maintain the status quo as it were.”  She rubbed her palms against his muscled thighs trying to comfort him.  “You could not defy your father to stop a marriage you didn’t want and she couldn’t either.  She didn’t have it in her to be defiant in the face of punishment and pain.  For that one moment, her flight from here, I can’t find her completely at fault, can you?”

“She
…” he faltered.  He tried to remember those days but all he could recall was Heather’s…Dory’s haughty behavior.  Was it possible that it had been fear?  He shook his head in doubt.

“Young and stupid, remember?”  Emmy insisted.

Connor sighed and covered her hands with his own.  Looking down into her bright blue eyes, he saw her compassion and love.  How thankful he was to have her here.  She would never go away when he told her to; she would fight him, aggravate him but always comfort him.  Her love was soothing, calming.  Her intelligence and inappropriate wit softened harsh realities.  Her presence made the whole situation more tolerable.

“Coming back,” Emmy went on, “was beyond stupid.  I told her she should have just stayed away, but with her entire family dead, she felt she had no alternative but to come back to Duart.  She should have come forward with the truth so it could have been handled properly. 
She really,
really
should have but she didn’t and she has lived with that guilt all this time.  And I am not trying to belittle your pain.  I know your happiness has suffered because of her and she knows it, too.  But her regret is real.”

“And ye believe her?” 

Emmy softened to him, loving that he trusted her opinion and belief.  “I do.”

“But her bigamy!”  That point still nagged at him.  “Ye cannae deny that sin!  And she has damned my brother, too, with her adultery.”

“Well, you missed the best part when you stormed out, but,” she teased lightly, “I think my ‘educated man’ can work it out.  It’s simple, really.  I’ll start it for you…you married Heather Stuart.”

He started to agree.  “Aye, I marr
…”  He stopped short.

“There goes the light bulb,” she encouraged softly.  “That a-ha moment.  Run with it, baby!”

“I dinnae marry Heather, I married Dory,” Connor said in amazement.  The light bulb?  He shook his head and concentrated on the other thought.  “But I used Heather’s name when I made my vows.”

“Ian is going to Inverary to fetch your solicitor, but if we’re right, the marriage was invalid from day one.  She was underage and under coercion.  Even if the marriage was valid, perhaps it was not to Dory but to Heather.  Maybe it was more like a proxy marriage, and she died not a month later.”  Emmy turned her palms up to grasp his hands.  “I don’t think you were ever a married man, Connor.  If you were, you very soon became a widower.  Dorcas Stuart was never your wife and was free to marry Ian.”

Connor closed his eyes and envisioned the chain of events, letting the facts roll over him.  If it were only true!  But, what should be done about her duplicity?  Ten years of deception and betrayal.  How could he let that pass?  “What was Ian’s response to all of this?”

“He’s angry and upset, but I think he’ll be fine, hopefully sooner than later.”  She pushed herself up and scooted into his lap before dropping her arms around his neck.  She was comforted when his arms wrapped around her waist.  “Maybe later than sooner.  I imagine it would be difficult to discover the woman you love had lied for a decade.”

“He might ne’er forgi’ her.”

“Would you forgive me?” she asked then added, “eventually, of course.  A period of anger and resentment is, after all, justifiable.”

Connor looked down into her beautiful face and knew that he could forgive her almost anything.  Some things were beyond forgiveness, of course.  Infidelity.  But a lie
, even of this magnitude, he thought, he might eventually be able to forgive, if her reasoning were sound and her regret genuine.  Occasionally even the best of intentions ended in disaster.  “You are an incredible woman.”  He pulled her to him and kissed her softly leaving her humming in satisfaction against his lips.  “If I had discovered all of this before ye came here, it is verra likely that I might ha’ killed her wi’out a second thought.”

“Well, I am glad I was here to curb your homicidal impulses then.”

“I’m glad as well. Even when she told me I was nae as angry as I should ha’ been.  My reaction was most unusual, I think.  I was angry, enraged even, but it faded quickly.  Almost as if the past no longer mattered.  The past does nae matter, Emmy.  Isn’t that strange?”

“And the future?”

“Aye, the future is all that matters.  And I want a future with ye, Emmy.  Ye’ve given me a peace I ha’ nae had in many years, allowed me to live for the moment and appreciate what I ha’.  And nae to…what is it ye said?  Nae to sweat the small stuff?”  He kissed her softly.  “Ye’ve changed my life.” 

“And you have changed mine.”  Emmy wrapped her arms more firmly around him and kissed him lovingly.  “It awes me, Connor, the feelings you rouse in me.  I know I’ve said it before, but I never imagined that such a depth of feeling was possible.  I love you.  Such inadequate words, but I do.”

“As I love ye, my darling,” he whispered.  He kissed her intensely.

“Forgive her, Connor,” she said in all seriousness when they came up for air.  “It’s your key being dropped right in your lap.  Forgive her, the Heather that has haunted you all these years and let yourself face your future without all that baggage, happy and free.  Think of it as a second chance to live your life.  Isn’t that what Donell said?  That everyone deserves a second chance.  I don’t think that was all just about Dory.  I think she needed to confess what she had done so she and you could both move on with your lives.  The truth can set you free, to borrow a much-abused cliché.”

“Ye think knowing the truth can change the way I look at life?  That it will change the way I live my life from now on?”

“Doesn’t it?”

Connor met her gaze thoughtfully for several long moments.  His life had changed…dramatically in fact, but it wasn’t just the truth that had done it.  The truth alone would not have done it.  Without weeks of Emmy’s influence before, that confession from Dory might have driven him to a murderous act.  It was Emmy who had brought them to this point.  Emmy, whose love allowed him to move on and forgive before the confession had ever been delivered. 

“I am happy and free, my love,” he replied even
tually in serious measure.  “Nae because of that truth, but because ye came into my life and freed me.”  He held her closely for a long while.  “Well, then, let me up so I can go wi’ my brother to Inverary to save his marriage.”

“That’s my man,” she murmured in approval and kissed him gently on the cheek.

The weather had finally cleared and the sun was shining for the first time in days.  Forty-eight hours of labor and confessions had left Emmy tense and she was determined to get out and enjoy the beautiful day.  Connor and Ian had said they would likely have to spend at least one night in Inverary and would probably not return until late in the day.  Free to do as she wished, she dressed in the most comfortable clothes available – her own - thinking that over the rough terrain her boots were the most practical.  It felt good to be back in her jeans.  There was just something about their snug containment that set everything right. Her little blazer wasn’t much defense against the winds but it was warmer than any of the daily-wear blouses she had and would work well under a large coat.

Stuffing her camera into her tote, she slung the bag across her chest.  She hadn’t gotten one picture of this gorgeous land yet.  Of course, at the moment, her digital camera was useless without a computer to
download the pictures on to, and what if she never returned to her own time?  What was the point?  She shrugged mentally.  It was something to do and she wanted to capture Duart just in case…

Emmy froze.  What if she did go back?  What would she do when they finally found Donell or, more accurately, he decided to grace them with his presence?  Should she beg him to take her away?  Beg him to let her stay?  What if she didn’t have a choice?  What if she did?

What if she did?

It tortured her - that question.  What would she do if she had a choice?  Take Connor back with her, of course.  Then she tried to picture him in her time.  He would be lost.  His purpose, his passion for his land and his people, gone.  At least she knew what was coming!  But, she also knew what she was missing.  He would never make it in her time and she just wasn’t sure she wanted to be stuck in his.  But without Connor, would her own time be worth going back to?

Emmy mulled over these questions as she snuck out of the castle and courtyard and headed in long strides to the southwest.  The pull of her muscles felt good.  She definitely needed to get out more and keep in shape!  She savored the feeling as she walked rapidly down the rocky coastline.  Stopping periodically, she took pictures of Duart, the sound and carried on farther to Lochdon, taking pictures of the village and its people at work.  She stopped in briefly to check on Cora McAllen and her baby before spending the last of the local coins Connor had given her on a ‘bridie’, a meat pie at the local tavern. 

The rustic fare was infinitely more satisfying than the exotic sauces and dishes Dory arranged night after night and Emmy thought she might try to convince the woman to mix some of the local dishes in.  After all, eating at Spago was nice, but not every day.  Besides, everyone just needed pizza or a burger every once in a while.  She wondered if the analogy could be translated.

After several hours of hiking, Emmy neared Duart again.  The day and exercise had warmed her enough that she had long ago shed her coat and draped it over her tote.  She felt good.  Energized.  And mentally invigorated after her walk. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky, gilding the western side of the castle as she approached.  She raised her camera again and took another shot from this angle.  Thoughts of a hot shower, well, bath anyway, insinuated into her mind as she approached. 

As she was nearing the front gates, the sound of hoof beats brought her around as Connor approached from the north.  Struck by the similarity to her first sight of him, Emmy raised the camera and took several shots as he approached and swung down from Bruce.  One, two and a third as he walked toward her.

“Smile!” she called.  He did automatically and she snapped another, though she thought he smiled more because of her silly voice than her command.  “Well?  How did it go?”

“The marriage was indeed between myself and Heather, not Dory,” he explained.  “Ian is waiting to hear an official word from the courts in Edinburgh before he returns, but it seems that I am a widower these past ten years.”

“So their marriage is legal?”

“We believe so.”  Connor nodded and welcomed her embrace as she threw her arms around him.  “Ian said to thank ye again for everythin
g.  Without ye here he would nae ha’ his wife or sons.  He has a marriage and family thanks to ye.”

“I am glad I was here to help,” she offered sincerely.  Maybe that had been it all along.  Her presence had changed history.  She had saved a mother and two babies, making it possible for a great wrong to be made right.  Connor had been given freedom from the past that had
haunted and ruled his life, allowing him to move on to a richer relationship with his family.  She had made all that possible.

So much for a simpler life!

What if her job here was done?

“I have missed ye
,” he whispered, leaning back to capture her lips in a long passionate kiss, distracting her from her musings.

“Mm
,” Emmy hummed dreamily returning his kiss.  “I’m sure I can’t wait to show you how much I missed you as well.  I was so cold last night!”

“Did ye
miss me or just my warmth?”

“Can’t I miss it all?”

Connor chuckled and held her close to him, savoring the meeting of their bodies.  He had indeed missed her loving presence by his side and in his bed.  Had missed her conversation and wit.  He loved her so dearly. 

“I was just thinking,” Emmy said.

“About what?”

“You know, when I came here with Donell, I was telling him how I considered your time simpler.  I think that was part of his test too.  To see that it wasn’t necessarily so.  When I look at Dory or at Margo’s home, I can see there are hard times here as well.  You have worries and fears and challenges that I never did.  Your life is harder close to home, whereas our worries are for our entire world.  In my time people worry about money or success but here, people worry for their very lives and those of their children.  Their existence.” 

“I care for my country.”

“I know you do, my Earl of Strathclyde.  But how about your people here?  What do they care about?”  She glanced down at her camera.  “It was such a beautiful day, I thought I’d get out for a walk and finally take some pictures.  That’s what I see here.  People whose lives are not as simple as one would think.”

“No one ever said they were.  Yer camera?  Is that what that is?” he asked curiously.  “May I see it?”

“In a sec.  First let me do one of us together.  Come here,” Emmy commanded and stood him next to her, leaned in close and, in typically 21
st
century fashion, stuck the camera out in front of them and took a picture.  Checking to make sure she’d got what she wanted on the screen, she turned it to show him.

“It’s so tiny,” he said.

“See, here are the pictures I took today.”  She pushed the right arrow again and again, scrolling through the day’s photos.

“It’s amazing!” he murmured in awe, taking a turn pushing the button.  “Where do the photographs go?”

“The memory card stores the pictures here.”  She popped it out of the compartment to show him and inserted it back in. 

“Remarkable!  How do ye have them developed then?”

“I can take that memory card and put it in my computer at home…remember? I explained the computer?”  She had, but the concept was so far beyond Connor’s experience that he still had a difficult time believing what she said was possible.  “I can print them on my own printer at home.”  She sighed.  “I wish I could show you.  There are so many things I’d like to show you.”

“I would like to see them
wi’ ye,” Connor admitted.  She seemed to have had a never-ending stream of experiences beyond anything he could ever imagine.  While he could live forever on the stories of her time, experiencing them with her by his side would be incredible. “Still, I thank God every day that He brought ye to me.”  He bent and kissed her lovingly on the lips.  “I love ye so dearly.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered.  The words were still so new.  She was always struck with awe when she said them.  She wanted to shout them out, but they always came out softly as if they were as uncertain as her desire to remain here.  She felt torn, pulled in two directions.  On one hand, her life in Baltimore, safe, uncomplicated and certain.  On the other, Connor, his love and what might be unimaginable contentment.  If only she knew what she really wanted.  “Has anyone been able to find Donell?”

“No, it seems the old man has simply disappeared since you saw him at the inn.  Jimmy says he hasnae been in for any ale at all and his cottage is deserted.”  Connor rested his chin on top of Emmy’s head and held her close.  “I still dinnae understand it all, how it happened.”  He had become content with thinking it God’s power for, as superstitious as the Scots were, sorcery still seemed too implausible, although Emmy seemed to hold Donell entirely responsible.

“I know, I don’t get it either.  After all he’s just a man” she admitted, turning back to the castle.  “How could he do it?  I was just standing here, just like this.  The sun was setting and I raised my camera to take a picture
…” she lifted the camera in demonstration, “and I felt…”

A wave of vertigo assailed her and Emmy stumbled to the side, holding a hand to her temple as her vision swam.  “Connor?”

“Emmy!  Em!”  His voice called her name, sounding hollowly as if through a long tunnel and she turned at the note of panic in his voice.  “Emmy, come back!  Nooo!”