A Lesson in Pride (18 page)

“That sounds like a perfectly dreadful life for both of you, Grant.”

“Perhaps. Was that not exactly what your father envisioned for you?” Grant was trying to be ironic, not cruel, but he realized after the words left his mouth that she would never see it that way.

Swallowing hard, Ginny loaded both barrels and fired her sarcasm with a bang. “Thank you, Grant, for reminding me of how simply wonderful my life has been thus far.”

“This is not my fault, Alysanne. Do not blame me for my situation.”

Now Ginny was mad. Who should she blame? “Why would I blame you, Grant? You are clearly a product of your environment. Who shall we point a finger at? Hmmm, how about your father? No, he's too easy. How about your older brother? How dare he live and breed. How about your professors at Cambridge? They obviously weren't able to make a man out of you.”

Ginny saw Grant's demeanor change. Like shutters on a window, he blocked out any emotion he might have been feeling. As much as Ginny regretted her outburst, she was loath to apologize. Though her words were mean, they were true. If this man wanted a different life, he needed to change it. It was too easy to blame everyone else. A grown-up would have changed things to suit themselves, not expected everyone else to change for them.

Neither spoke for some time. They didn't move, drink, or eat, as though Ginny's bitter words had left them paralyzed. What was left to say? They both had struck out in their anger and hit their marks dead on. Both knew they should say something to make up for their poorly worded criticisms, but neither wanted to be the first.

Finally, Ginny gave in to the silence and said, “I'm sorry. I... I just pictured this story ending a different way, I guess.”

Grant heard the words and was confused at first, until he realized that she was equating a life together as something out of a novel. Most likely some vacuous, mind-numbing, plot-missing novel that the young women thought were all the rage. One where everyone got what they deserved and always dreamed about. Insulting his manhood irritated him far less than her idea that they lived in some novel world.

“Maybe it is time for you to grow up, Alysanne. Our lives are not some perfect ending in a novel. There is not always a happy ending. If your life has taught you anything, it should have taught you that much.”

Ginny did not appreciate his condescension. If he only knew. She was living a romance novel and by extension, so was he. Not that she could spout that off, but something would happen and they would be together. Otherwise, this would end up being the single worst romance novel ever.

As Ginny thought it, she realized that this might be different from the others. Maybe this was to be something other than what she'd lived in the past. Hadn't she thought that this whole existence she was enduring was meant for something more? Could she be expected to do something else in this story? Could she be meant to bring Grant and Persephone together?

While part of her rolled that new thought through her head, another railed against the very idea. Alysanne's life and upbringing were classic romance novel fodder. The girl who survived the worst, now deserved her happily ever after. What else made sense?

Instead of trying to over-think the plot... again... Ginny responded to her guest's last statement. “Why, yes, Grant, it is time I grow up. Care to join me?” Her question given with a shake of head and a gleam in her eye.

“At one and thirty, I can hardly claim to be a child.”

“On that we agree. But I can think of no one who ever claimed that maturity and age were synonymous.”

“You are tedious, Alysanne.”

“As are you, Grant. If you choose this path, the one where you go down the aisle with Persephone Horton, then own it. At the very least, make the best of it. She is a nice girl with a kind family. You could do far worse, you know.”

“Kind family? They are so far beneath me it sometimes makes my skin crawl.”

Ginny's jaw fell at his snobbery. Here sat a man with no money, no means of making money, looking down his nose at a man who pulled himself out of poverty. Talk about making someone's skin crawl. Then another thought occurred to her, which somehow slipped right out her mouth.

“By those standards, I must truly disgust you.”

Grant bit down his jaw, holding back his initial response. He was the son of a duke and she was the daughter of a nobody. By his standards, she was so far beneath him, he shouldn't consider her at all. That did not, however, keep him from wanting her.

“You do not disgust me, Alysanne. As a dowager countess, you are part of society.”

“But not always. Not until my despicable father sold me to a monster. Then I was just plain, old Miss Alysanne Thomas. How tedious you must have found me then.”

“You were exhaustingly tedious as a child. How you would constantly follow me around whenever I visited.” Grant smiled at the memory. She was a small child, usually because she never had enough to eat. Even then there was something about her big, blue eyes. Not that he would have noticed back then. He noticed them now.

Ginny had all the memories. All the feelings. Alysanne had started with a puppy crush, which later changed to love. At least what she'd thought of as love. She had no frame of reference, not even that of the love of a parent for a child. After that one night, a year prior, her feelings for Grant had expanded. But Ginny wasn't Alysanne and even the sense of her being had left her almost completely.

“As you said, Grant, it is time to grow up. I believe that part of the process should include closing the door on childhood crushes. What I felt for you before is not how I should feel now.”

As she stared at the man across from her, Ginny suddenly thought that she could never be happy with Grant. Even if Alysanne could, Ginny was not prepared to gamble her life on a man who would most likely never amount to more than what he was at that moment. He would always feel entitled, just like Alysanne's father. He would always expect people to bend to his will, just like Alysanne's father. He would always be a selfish, arrogant snob, just like Alysanne's father. In marrying Franklin Drake, Alysanne had been set free in a way, mostly because the contemptible bastard had died on their wedding night. She was finally free from a man who saw her first as a burden, then as a meal ticket. She would not be put in that position again.

“How do you feel now, Alysanne?”

Ginny stared at her hands for a few minutes before she finally lifted her eyes to meet his. How did she feel? A spark of Alysanne made her heart ache, but Ginny was ever the pragmatist.

“I thought I loved you. I was wrong. I still owe you my freedom after what you did for me a year ago. And I am going to pay you back for that. I'm going to help you now.”

Grant hadn't expected her words to cut so deep, but they did. She didn't love him? Every action she'd taken proved otherwise, but he would not argue with her. As calmly as he could, he retrieved his cup and sipped the tepid tea. When his insides stopped churning, he was better able to talk.

“How are you to help me?”

“By making you fall in love with your fiancée.”

Chapter 25

It was cool, but not cold. The sun was out, a rarity for the time of year. Even the air smelled less of pollution and more clean and fresh. It was a perfect day to be walking outside, but Grant noticed none of it. His feet moved on autopilot, taking him forward, but to no discernible location. He was too lost in his thoughts to wonder where he was going.

She didn't love him. No, he didn't believe that. Her eyes said otherwise as he stared at her in disbelief. She wanted to help him, she'd said. She wanted to make him fall in love with Persephone. The idea was as strange as it was ludicrous. Persephone was a means to an end, nothing more. He would consummate their union, beget some children from her, and then they would be civil housemates. She would have her life and he would have his. It was that simple.

What was Alysanne's game? She could be trying to get him to love her enough to give up everything for her, but he didn't think so. After the childhood Alysanne had suffered, he wouldn't let her throw away the security that Drake's money provided. For once, she had a home. She had family that loved her. Grant was not so arrogant to think he was worth giving that up for. So why was she doing this?

She had said she owed him for his service to her last year. It was no service to take her virginity. If anything, he owed her for that night. It had been so long since he'd slept with someone who truly cared about him. Her sweet innocence had been more intoxicating than any other partner he'd ever had. They both knew it could not be repeated, which made it all the more special.

Now Alysanne expected him to fall in love with a girl who would otherwise be beyond his notice. It was too much for her to expect. She wanted him to be happy, he presumed, but Grant knew she would never be successful. After already disappointing her so much, he was loath to do it again.

After her announcement, Alysanne had went on to discuss how it could be accomplished. She had suggested that Grant spend more time with the girl. Alone. He should escort her about town, take her to the theater or opera, or simply ride in the park. She stated that if he were to find out more about the girl, he might just like what he saw.

Grant could not argue that he knew next to nothing about Persephone. He knew only what he saw. She was pretty. She had a nice figure and it would not be a chore to bed her. What more did he need to know?

As Grant thought back to the previous night at dinner, he remembered she had a sweet laugh. When her father told his stories, her face lit up with pride. The Hortons were close knit, the exact opposite of his own family. Grant couldn't remember a single family dinner when he was growing up. He couldn't remember ever sitting down and talking with his father. There had been no laughter in their house, unless it came from the servants. With everything the Montgomerys had, with all the wealth and prestige and advantages, they had never laughed as a family.

It wasn't until Grant had struck out on his own that he had found any kind of happiness. Most of that happiness was in the arms of a warm willing woman. His brother might be heir, but he hadn't been given any charm or good looks. His wife married him for his future title, not because she found Reginald appealing. Every woman who had graced Grant's bed thought him superior in ways Reginald would never be.

But was that happiness? Or was that satisfaction? He could tell just by looking at a woman how she would be in bed. It could be as simple as the cut of her dress that told him if she would be a vixen or subdued. His knowledge of his peers was another accurate indication of what a woman would be willing to do. If a husband was old and fat, the wife was usually more willing to do something extreme or daring. The thought brought a small smile to his face just thinking of some of the compromising positions he'd convinced bored wives to partake in.

Shaking his head, Grant knew that it was all beside the point. He would never fall in love with his wife, as that only led to pain later when the wench betrayed him. All wives betrayed their husbands at some point; he was the living embodiment of that theory. There was always an excuse. The husband couldn't satisfy his wife. He was too busy with work to bother with her. He was too busy with his mistress. There was always a reason.

What if he could be the type of man who didn't give his wife a reason? Grant stopped short of snorting out loud. To be that man, he would have to faithful to Persephone for the rest of his life. He'd never thought of himself as monogamous. There wasn't a man he knew who would claim such a thing. He simply had no experience with the notion.

That got him thinking about Malcolm Horton. He clearly doted on his wife and daughter. Did that mean he was purely devoted to Georgina? Had he never strayed from his marriage bed? Surely not. The man was rich and powerful, which meant he was also decadent. Just as he had sampled his wife's dessert the previous evening, he would have had to sample other women.

As each thought led to another, Grant's head began to ache wildly. He didn't think he'd ever given anything so much thought. But this was his life. His father no longer needed him, so it was time he made some decisions for himself. He would begin by taking Alysanne's advice. He would get to know Persephone and make sure that she was someone he could appreciate and perhaps even someday love.

As soon as the decision was made in his mind, Grant's steps became a little lighter, his focus a little sharper and his heart a little less heavy. Maybe this was what it was to be a man. If the only thing accomplished with all this was making Alysanne more proud of him, it would all be worth it.

Chapter 26

Charlotte returned home with her sister to find Ally alone in the small parlor. A tea tray lay abandoned by her side and she stared into the fireplace. When Ally had no reaction to their entrance, Charlotte grew concerned.

“Ally, are you unwell?” she asked, thinking herself silly for overreacting.

“I'm fine,” Ally answered, never taking her eyes from the hearth.

Charlotte looked over at her sister in alarm. Hope came forward and sat next to their stepmother and grabbed her hands. “Ally, whatever is wrong?”

Alysanne finally turned her head to look at Hope and Charlotte. Reacting to their concerned faces, she smiled. “There is nothing wrong. I was thinking very hard about something. I didn't mean to worry you.”